我为喜剧狂（2006）
30 Rock S05E04
Part 2
June 7, 2022, 4:04 p.m.
穿个紫内♥裤♥来炫一炫
♪ choke a cop with your panties ♪
谢谢… 谢谢
Thank you. Thank you.
你刚刚在剪线头?
Did you just knit that?
我想喝一杯 Lemon
I need a drink, Lemon.
那么快? 我们能撑过去的
Oh, already? Okay, w-we can get through this.
看来这不光是走走形式
It turns out it's not the ritual.
根据一堆网上的在线测试
According it a bunch of online questionnaires,
我原来是个酒鬼
I have a drinking problem.
天啊 我头快炸了
Oh, god, I have a splitting headache!
好吧 换换口味 换换口味
Okay. Replace the ritual.Replace the ritual.
能过来一下吗?
Could you come over here, please?
终于看完那本魔术教程了? - 这是不能说的秘密
Did you finish the magic book? - I cannot divulge my secrets.
我不想让Avery失望 但这太难了
I don't want to let Avery down, but this is so hard.
分散我的注意力 Lemon 给我找点乐子
Distract me, Lemon. Entertain me.
放飞你的思维吧 来到修女花卉市场!
Okay. Uh, open on the covent garden flower market.
时间? 1♥8♥9♥2!
The year... 1♥8♥9♥2!
卖♥♥花啦! 鲜花大甩卖♥♥! - 滚出去!
Flowers, flowers for sale! - Get out of here!
他记得你生日不?
Did he remember your birthday?
噢 拜托!
Oh, come on.
还有15秒 - Tracy Jordan来啦!
15 seconds. What's up, New York? - Tracy Jordan in the house!
你们是真正的明星! 才怪!
You're the real stars!Not really!
FOX新闻 本节目由FOX胡说八道 有限公♥司♥特约制♥作♥
Fox news, a division of fox nonsense, incorporated.
欢迎收看FOX新闻 姐可是金发美女
Welcome back to fox news.I'm blond.
奥巴马总统 在您看来
President Obama, in your own words,
您为什么是一个仇视美国的恐♥怖♥分♥子♥?
why are you a terrorist who hates america?
这个问题提的很好
That's an excellent question.
我现在要搞"破坏"了!
I'm doing something called "breaking"!
哈哈哈!
扑哧! 嘻嘻! 咯咯!
Snort! Hee-hee! Giggle, giggle!
观众喜欢看这个
The audience loves this.
那个白♥痴♥
Oh, that idiot.
好吧 进广♥告♥吧 - 进广♥告♥
Fine. Just go to commercial. - Go to commercial.
勃起功能障碍
Erectile dysfunction...
不再只是狗的烦恼
It's not just a dog problem anymore.
它也困扰了无数男性
It also affects millions of men.
大家好 我是Leo Spaceman"医生"
Hello. I'm "doctor" Leo Spaceman.
一直以来 勃起功能障碍 都被视为生理疾病
For too long, erectile dysfunction has been viewed as a physical problem,
治疗手段不外乎内服外用
and it's been treated with pills and ointments
以及那些容易断裂的绑带对其进行治疗
and contraptions whose straps break all too easily.
但是导致勃起功能障碍的真正原因
But couldn't the real cause of E.D.
会不会是因为自从Teddy Pendergrass 写的那首"关门"以来
be that we haven't produced a good doing-it song
我们就再也没有推出过好的做♥爱♥歌♥曲?
since "close the door" by Teddy Pendergrass?
所以我录制了一张专辑
That's why I recorded an album.
♪ 宝贝 慢慢来 我们有一整夜的时间 ♪
♪ Baby, let's take it slow ♪ you know, we've got all night ♪
♪ 点上蜡烛 泡个澡 开始全身心的性♥交♥! ♪
♪ light some candles,draw a bath, and start off with full-on intercourse ♪
保证不再阳痿
Guaranteed to end erectile dysfunction,
Leo Spaceman的新专辑"爱情风暴"
these are the sweet sounds of "Dr. Leo Spaceman's love storm:
超强力催情歌♥曲
An ultra-strength audio reboneulator."
♪ 宝贝 让狗看着咱们 ♪
♪ Baby, let's let the dog watch us ♪
♪ 它能否理解我们所拥有的爱情? ♪
♪ do you think he understands the love that we have? ♪
♪ 哎呀 我完事了 你去叫辆出租车 ♪
♪ Oops, I'm finished ♪ call yourself a cab ♪
NBC技术故障
嘿 白♥痴♥!
Hey, idiot!
Liz 我知道我们这群人平时不怎么懂得感恩
Liz, I know we're not usually the most grateful bunch,
但这里所有人 我是说 所有人
but everybody here... And I mean everybody...
都在为Jadwiga 那个清洁女工 的生日贺卡上签名
Is signing this birthday card for Edwiga, the cleaning lady.
不是吧 Jadwiga的生日
Really? Edwiga's birthday?
我一直留心她 我们是性♥伴♥侣♥
I look out for her. We're friends with benefits.
Tracy! 你应该觉得丢脸
Tracy, you should be ashamed of yourself.
我没法觉得丢脸 我脑子没有这个功能
I can't be. I'm missing that part of my brain.
你为什么要那样做? - 为什么有人会那样做?
Why are you doing this? - Why does anybody do anything?
他们要么很有钱 要么就是有注意紊乱症 你看Luz的T恤
They're rich or they have attention deficit disor...Look at Lutz's shirt.
你想毁了这节目吗 不许再搞笑了
You are ruining the show. No more laughing.
好吧 不搞笑了
All right, no more laughing.
我以Krout的名誉发誓
I promise.Kraut's honor.
等一下 你刚才说的是Scout(童子军)还是Krout? - 再见
Wait.Did you say "scout" or "kraut"? Goodbye!
Carol 我就知道你今天不会忘记我
Carol, I knew you wouldn't forget me today.
别说闲话了 Liz 现在是我史上最危险的航♥班♥
No nonessential chatter, Liz.I'm having the worst flight of my career.
我们遭遇了风切变 闪电和强烈湍流
We got wind shears, lightning,severe turbulence.
飞机餐是菜肉馅煎蛋饼
The in-flight meal was a frittata.
我的天啊 晚上吃那个?
Oh, my god. At night?
Lizzie 如果我遭遇了不幸 我想告诉你的是
Lizzie, if something were to happen,I-I just... I want you know that I...
我要你去我的公♥寓♥
I need you to go to Raleigh, to my apartment,
在我妈去之前把黄♥片♥都处理掉
and just clear out all the porn before my mom gets there.
就这点事? - 对
That's it? - Yeah.
你还要帮我录一下"识骨寻踪" 万一我侥幸生还了呢
I-I also need you to TiVo "bones" for me in case I survive.
Carol 今天是个很特殊的日子 你应该知道的
No. You know what, Carol?Today is a very special day, and you should have known that,
你也应该知道 在飞机上不能打手♥机♥
and you should also know that you can't use cellphones on planes.
那只是我们用来吓唬乘客的
No, that's just something we tell passengers. It...
噢 等一下
Oh, hello! Hold on.
我好像惹我女朋友生气了
All right, yeah, I-I think I just screwed up something with my girlfriend.
你知道 我一直爱着你
You know, I've always loved you.
现在不是时候 Kevin - 知道了
Not now, Kevin. - Copy that.
Liz 你怎么能让Tracy那样对我呢? - 别担心 一切都在掌握中
Liz, how could you let Tracy do that to me? - Don't worry. It's under control...
我可是专业演员 Liz
I am a professional, Liz.
我表演的时候从没出过岔子
I have never broken during a performance, ever.
我和Irene Ryan一起演过"Pippin"
I was onstage in "pippin" with Irene Ryan
当她挂了之后 我还接着演
when she died,and I kept going.
所以你那么棒啊
That is why you are so amazing.
我永远不会搞怪博眼球 Liz 但他要是再敢耍花招
Oh, I will never break, Liz,but if he tries that stunt again,
我就来点服装小故障
I will have a wardrobe malfunction.
我要露点 Liz
Yes, I will slip a nip, Liz.
看着办吧 我指的是露点
So help me, I will slip a nip.
你好 Jadwiga 你好吗? - 走开
Hi, Edwiga. How are you? - Sit on it!
你在闻油漆吗? - 当然是!
Are you sniffing paint? - Of course I am,
Lemon 男人需要酒精
Lemon. Men need alcohol.
每个文明社会一有了武器 和妓院
It's the first thing every civilization makes,along with weapons
酒精也就伴随而来
and shelters to enjoy prostitutes.
我不知道我还能承受多久
I don't know how much more of this I can take.
这是我人生最糟糕的一天
This is the worst day of my life.
你人生? 就知道你人生?
Of your life?Of your life?
天啊 怎么又跟你有关了?
Oh, god. How are we going to make this about you?
今天是我生日 Jack! 我40岁生日 竟然没人记得!
It's my birthday, Jack!It is my 40th birthday, and no one remembered!
靠 你们女人!
Damn you, she-beasts!
什么?
What?
你跟Avery 你们都设好陷阱等我跳进去!
You and Avery... you lay these traps for me to fail!
我很抱歉我忘了你生日 Lemon
I'm sorry I forgot your birthday, Lemon.
我今天也过得不怎么好 我不在状态
It's not my best day.I'm not myself right now,
请接受我的1,000块钱当礼物
but please accept this $1,000 as my gift to you.
我看在原则的分上收下它 但这并不能弥补什么
I will take this on principle, but it doesn't fix anything.
你想我怎么说呢? 这就我们把工作放在首位的结果
What can I tell you? This is what happens to people like you and I, who put work ahead of everything else.
你知道我是怎么过40岁生日的吗? 漫漫长夜 都在我办公室
You know where I spent my 40th birthday?In my office... All night.
你那时身材可真不错
Wow. You were very fit back then.
是 但那时我的老二反而比较小
Yes, but my penis was smaller.
Jack 我不是想让你内疚
Look, Jack, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty.
我知道我是谁
I mean, I know who I am.
我知道我不是这群人里面最有意思的
I know I'm not the funnest person in the group.
我不是那个你们会叫上一起去夜店
I'm not the one you call when you want to go clubbing
派对啊彻夜狂欢的人
on the town and party dance all night.
你怎么讲话口气像个波斯裔移♥民♥?
Why are you speaking like a persian immigrant?
但我以为这些白♥痴♥至少会为我做点什么
I thought at least these dummies would do something for me
除了给我惹麻烦以外
besides light a bunch of fires I have to put out.
我以为当我到了40岁 - 40
I thought that when I turned 40... - 40...
我现在倒是想来杯40度烈酒
I could really drink a 40 right now.
Oprah 这就是小孩子脸内部的样子
Oprah, this is what the inside of a child's face looks like.
噢 不! 我的奥普拉假发掉了!
Oh, no!My Oprah wig is falling off!
真是一个令人兴奋的意外! 这可是直播啊!
This is an exciting mishap!This is live!
有没搞错?
What the blerg?!Ohh!
Jenna 你有喝酒吗?
Jenna. Have you been drinking?
当然没有 Jack 我只是晚餐时喝了一瓶酒
No, Jack.I mean, I had a bottle of wine with dinner.
我能闻你的嘴吗?
Can I smell your mouth?
我为喜剧狂（2006）
30 Rock
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