我为喜剧狂（2006）
30 Rock S05E19
Part 1
June 7, 2022, 4:05 p.m.
咱们得谈谈 就现在
We need to talk... Right now.
我们知道Tracy不在非洲 他正藏在纽约的某个地方
We know Tracy's not in Africa. He's hiding somewhere in New York.
什么? - 别装傻 Walter
What? - Don't play stupid, Walter.
我们有办法让人开口
We have ways of making people talk.
就是给他们削苹果片吃
By giving them fresh apple slices.
给我仔细听好了
Listen to me very carefully.
这节目就是我的命 Tracy必须回来
This show is my life. I need Tracy back.
他在哪儿?
Where is he?
你以为我们不想他回来吗? 你知道我们的医保要多少钱吗?
You think we don't want him back? Do you know how much our cobra payments are?
而且只有他知道糖果罐的密♥码♥
And he's the only one that knows the combination to the candy safe.
最糟糕的是看得到(吃不到)
The worst part is being able to see the candy.
好吧 但如果让我发现你们有瞒着我
All right. But if I find out you're holding out on me,
我就再也不让你们的历史小组 用我的办公室了
I will no longer allow you to use my office for your history club.
太讽刺了 因为下周的主题是 法♥西♥斯♥主义
That's ironic, because next week's topic is fascism.
Grizz和Dotcom那里如何? - 他们什么都不知道
What about Grizz and Dotcom?- They don't know anything.
所有和Tracy关系密切的人 都不知道
Neither does anyone Tracy's close to...
他老婆 Charles Barkley Edward James Almost
His wife, Charles barkley, Edward James almost,
Tracy一个长得特别像 Edward James Olmos的朋友
who is an Edward James Olmos lookalike that Tracy is friends with.
Kenneth和Tracy是用Skype聊天吧? 直接联♥系♥他不就行了
Kenneth talks to Tracy on Skype, doesn't he? Just call him.
行不通的 Tracy只在特殊情况下 才联♥系♥Kenneth 比如说"Bastille日" (Bastille Day 7.14 法国国♥庆♥日)
It doesn't work that way. Tracy only contacts Kenneth on special occasions like bastille day.
那我猜Bastille是个脱衣舞♥女♥郎
I'm going to go ahead and assume that bastille is a stripper.
猜得没错
As well you should.
有可能明天他会打来 因为那天是他蜥蜴的生日
Now there's a chance he may call tomorrow because it's his lizard's birthday.
难道说距离上次咱们在Waldorf饭店 吃用蜥蜴餐做的蛋糕已经一年了吗?
Has it really been a year since we were all at the Waldorf eating that cake made out of lizard meal?
是的 Jeremy马上11岁了
Yup. Jeremy's almost 11.
目前为止 唯一的线索就是 Tracy吃披萨的那个包装盒
For now, our only lead is the pizza box that we saw Tracy eating from.
我们通过电♥话♥知道那是 皇后区的一家披萨店
We traced the phone number to a pizzeria in queens.
这听上去像是在演"美国警花" 只是没有那些淫♥荡♥的服装
Listen to me. I sound like Cagney and Lacey,but without the slutty clothes.
Lemon 你必须找到他 你的节目离不开Tracy
You have to find him, Lemon.Your show works with Tracy.
今天早上 我想到了改进NBC的方法
And this morning, I figured out how to fix NBC.
我们只做成功的节目 - 不可能
We will only do shows that work.- That's nonsense.
你知道娱乐业的商业模式吗?
Do you know what the business model is in the entertainment industry?
做十个节目 期待有一个成功
Make ten shows and hope that one of them works.
我们出品的失败的试播集 比法国空军失败的飞行员还多 (双关词pilot:试播集/飞行员)
We produce more failed pilots than the French air force.
已经花了1500万来开♥发♥ 一个叫"Who Nose?"的节目
$15 million so far developing a show called who nose?
讲一个调查记者闻不到味
About an investigative reporter who can't smell
只能用眼睛 耳朵和其他感官 来完成剧情
and has to get the story using only his eyes, ears, and other senses.
你低估了我 议员先生 以为我闻不到
You underestimated me, congressman, because I can't smell.
但是你犯了个错
But you made one mistake.
你让我看到了文件
You let me see the documents.
所以从今开始 不再浪费钱了 只用在那些成功的节目上
So from now on, no more throwing good money after bad.
1000万开♥发♥"老爸2.0"?
Only what works. $10 million developing dad 2.0?
绝对不行
Not on my watch.
你♥爸♥爸虽然离开了 但在他死前
Your father may be gone,but before he died,
他将我编程 让我来代替他
he programmed me to take his place.
不 停机 糟透了
No. Shut it down. This is terrible.
什么情况? Tracy还回不回来?
So what's going on?Is Tracy coming back or what?
呃 我还不知道 - 那你知道什么?
Well, I don't know.- Well, what do you know?
你到底在这干什么? - 我是节目的制♥作♥人
What do you even do?- I'm the producer of the show.
早上你老婆洗澡的时候 也是跟我这么说的
Right, that's what your wife told me in the shower this morning.
好吧 大家喜欢开玩笑哈 重要的是咱们还能一起笑起来
All right, well, we're all having fun, and it's important that we all be able to laugh together.
我们不是和你一起笑 我们是一起笑你 你这个秃驴
Yeah, we're not laughing with you. We're laughing at you, you bald bitch.
Reggie 我是秃顶
Yes, Reggie, I am bald.
当年我开车撞了个吉普赛小孩 从此就开始早早地掉头发了
I lost my hair at a very early age when I hit that gypsy's kid with my car,
但我还是你们老板
but I am still your boss.
嘿 秃驴
Hey, bald bitch.
嘿 那是你 - 我知道
Hey, that's you.- No, I get it.
他学你呢 - 我知道 我知道
He's being you. - Yeah, I get it. I get it.
听好了 小样们 女王要说话了
Listen up, fives. A ten is speaking.
你们也许听说了 我在QVC上卖♥♥的 Jennababy娃娃已经被召回了
As you may have heard, the jennababy dolls I've been selling on QVC have been recalled.
显然它们只是被用来 从墨西哥往国内运可♥卡♥因♥
Apparently they were just being used to smuggle cocaine into the country from Mexico.
因而出现了一些问题
And that's caused some problems.
咱们去练习足球吧 立刻马上
Let's just go to soccer practice now.I mean right now.
好 现在凌晨4点 咱们去吧
Yes. It's 4:00 in the morning. Let's do it.
整个城市都是咱们的
We own this town.
如果TGS被取消了 Jennababy本来是我的后备计划
Jennababies were my backup if TGS gets cancelled,
不过不用担心 我还有其他的后备计划
but don't worry because I have a backup to my backup.
我们是不会担心你的 我们从来就没关心过你
We don't ever worry about you.We don't think about you.
没错 Frank 我要拍电影了
That's right, Frank.I booked a movie.
电影名叫"牵起我的手"
It's called take my hand.
这是部艺术影片 影片讲述的是
It's kind of an artsy character study about a young woman
一个叫屠夫脸的疯子兽医在 年轻女性脑袋上钻洞的故事
who has a lot of holes drilled into her head by a deranged veterinarian named Slaughterface.
你是要拍电锯惊魂那样的性♥虐♥片啊 - 没错
Oh, so you're doing a torture porn thing like saw.- Exactly.
实际上 制片人还租了电锯惊魂回家看了
In fact, the producers of this movie rented saw and watched it.
要是Tracy回来了就告诉我 姐要去康涅狄格州Stamford市拍电影了
So let me know if Tracy comes back. Until then, I will be in stamford, Connecticut.
我们在那里拍电影是为了逃税
We're shooting there for tax reasons.
顺便问一下 有人知道在康州
On an unrelated matter,does anyone know
哪里能做私处漂白吗?
where I can get intimate bleaching done in stamford, Connecticut?
有人知道吗?
Anyone?
我要去拍电影了 Pete - 什么? 不行 你不能走
I'm leaving to do a movie, Pete. - What? No! You can't do that.
今天早上我和你老婆洗澡的时候 她也是这么说的
That's what your wife told me in the shower this morning.
我们能从宜家订午餐吗? - 什么? 不行
Can we order lunch from Ikea?- What? No.
我才是制片人 我决定午餐吃什么
I'm the producer. I'm picking lunch today.
好吧 那我们来比看谁劲儿大 谁就能决定午餐吃什么
Okay. We'll have a contest of strength to decide who gets to pick lunch.
下一个是谁?
Who's next?
欢迎来到Federici餐厅 请问两位需要些什么?
Welcome to Federici's.What can I get for you guys?
鉴于我们的长相 你可能不相信 他是我儿子
Well, as hard as it is to believe, given our apparent ages, this is my son.
确实挺像的 - 好吧
Seems about right. - Okay, good.
我儿子现在正在本地的一家 披萨饼专修学院上学
My son is currently studying at a local pizza academy.
是吗? 哪一家?
Really? Which one?
纽约披萨饼专修学院
New York pizza academy.
那我不欢迎你 因为我是纽约人 披萨饼专修学院毕业的
Well, then I hate you, 'cause I'm a pizza academy of New York man.
太好了 - 你参加了哪个兄弟会?
Wonderful. - So what fraternity are you pledging?
我没参加 因为纽约披萨饼专修学院 没有兄弟会
I'm not. There are no fraternities at New York pizza academy.
回答正确 这道陷阱题算你说对了
That's right. You correctly answered my trick question.
现在依照披萨饼专修学院的传统 我将满足你的任何要求
Now I'm bound by pizza academy tradition to Grant you any request.
这真是再好不过了
Wow, this could not have gone any better.
我们想看看近两个月的送货收据
We need to see all your delivery receipts from the last two months.
你要参加送货收据考试了吧?
Oh, you got that delivery receipt exam coming up, huh?
真够呛 给你
What a bear. Here you go.
慢慢看 我去后面想想 有没有别的方法来帮助你
Take your time. I'll be in the back trying to think of other ways to help you.
看来这条路走不通
Well, this is obviously a dead end.
你太弱了
Eat your weakness.
祝贺你
Congratulations.
根据传递性规则 等式对换 你刚刚掰腕子赢了卡扎菲
According to the transitive property, you just defeated Muammar Qaddafi in arm wrestling.
太好了! - 我要是20岁的话 会很不服气的
Yes! - This would have bothered me in my 20s.
Pete 你怎么那么厉害? - 我也不知道 我从来不锻炼身体
Pete, how are you so good at that? - I don't know. I never work out.
Paula! 大闺女过来了 她拿着单簧管
Paula! Here comes the big girl. She's got a clarinet.
Pete 午饭你说了算
Pete, lunch is your pick.
Hooters餐厅的外卖♥♥ - 什么? 没道理啊
Takeout from Hooters. - What? That makes no sense.
他们要是动过手脚 我们就会知道了
We'll know they touched it.
没人会来救你的
No one's coming to save you.
天啊 你是什么人?
Oh, god. Who are you?
停! 制片厂刚给我发了个短♥信♥
Cut! I just got a text from the studio.
我们的影片要停工了 - 什么?
We're shutting down production.- What?
我可是回绝了Goodspeed剧院的 演出机会来的啊
But I turned down carousel at the goodspeed for this.
抱歉 Dana 可是我们的预算 依赖于康州的减税政策
I'm sorry, Dana, but our budget depends on getting a tax break from Connecticut,
他们说我们的影片 没有树立该州的正面形象
and they say we're not portraying the state in a positive light.
我们怎么没有树立正面形象了 Shawn? 我有点糊涂了
How are we not doing that, Shawn? I'm a little baffled over here.
我们只是花着纳税人的钱拍摄一部影片
Yeah, no, it's just that we're spending taxpayer money saying
讲述一个在康州流窜的兽医想要 用乳♥房♥♥建一栋房♥子好让官员们住进来
there's a veterinarian running around Connecticut trying to make a house out of breasts for the governor to live in.
但是影片的最后还是很有启发性的
But there's a positive message at the end of it.
如果你是住在康州的女性的话 屠夫脸就会杀了你
If you're a woman in Connecticut, Slaughterface will kill you.
肯定是这里 - 没错
This must be it.- Yes, ma'am.
有好多外卖♥♥送到这里 上面还有Jordan先生的签名
There have been several deliveries to this address of Mr. Jordan's signature order...
要切下一角的大号♥奶酪披萨
Large cheese pizza with one slice taken out
那样的话我就能假装我吃掉的是"吃豆人" 就像我心目中的英雄"幽灵小鬼"一样
so I can pretend I'm eating pac-man like my hero blinky the ghost.
有动静
I hear someone coming.
你总算找到我了
Well, well, well. You found me.
我订了泰国菜 然后给了你这个地址
After I ordered Thai food and gave you this address.
我为喜剧狂（2006）
30 Rock
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