我为喜剧狂（2006）
30 Rock S05E06
Part 1
June 7, 2022, 4:04 p.m.
我知道我有点心急了
I know I'm jumping the gun a bit,
但我在爱马仕给宝宝做了这个
but I had this made for the baby at hermes.
这样她就可以骑保姆了! - 真可爱
So she can ride the maid!- It is adorable.
恩 我们还用 "Charlotte"这个名字不?
Uh, but are we still in love with the name "Charlotte"?
要啊 为啥这么问?
I think so. Why do you ask?
Charlotte?
Charlotte?
你有没搞错? - Lemon初中班上就有个Charlotte
Are you serious?- Lemon went to middle school with a Charlotte
课间喜欢拿自己磨树
who used to rub herself against a tree during recess.
你干嘛给Lemon讲这么私人的事
I want to know why you would tell Lemon something so personal.
我和Lemon的关系虽然看起来满奇怪 但其实我是她的导师
I know that my relationship with Lemon may seem strange,but I am her mentor.
Donaghy教学法讲究身临其境
And the Donaghy mentoring experience is immersive.
你得有个分寸 那个女人可是你的雇员
There need to be boundaries.That woman is your employee.
不 她不仅仅是个雇员 我的学生可不是随便选的
No, she's more than that.I don't choose my mentees lightly.
他们得有值当我宝贵时间的雄心壮志
They have to have the drive and ambition to be worth my time,
能够认清挑战的智慧
the intelligence to understand the challenges they're going to face,
愿意接受帮助的谦逊心态 以及像个无底沼泽一般的混乱人生
the humility to accept my help,and finally,a life that is a bottomless swamp of chaos.
干劲 聪慧 谦逊 混乱...
Drive, intelligence, humility, chaos...
或者简称为"DIHC" 我在寻找DIHC (…这个和鸡♥巴♥的发音一样...)
Or the acronym "DIHC."I'm looking for DIHC, Avery.
无论何地我也要找到它 把它收归名下
And I'm gonna take it wherever I can find it.
四年了 Jack 或许Liz都该毕业了
It's been four years, Jack.Maybe it's time for Liz to graduate.
或许该你来怀这个孩子
Maybe it's time for you to carry this baby.
或许你和Liz该一起抚养她 噢 不
Maybe you and Liz can raise it.Oh, no.
我大脑里激荡着疯狂的荷尔蒙
Crazy hormone swing.
为什么有这么大的洋葱味?
Why does everything smell like onions?
Lemon 和掌握分寸
Lemon. Boundaries.
知道了
Got it.
我为喜剧狂 第五季 第6集
在这里您将参观到NBC的一个编辑室
In here, you can see one of NBC's editing bays.
TGS的主演 电影明星 Tracy Jordan 去世了
Tracy Jordan, the star of TGS and numerous films, has died.
不! 不 这不可能!
No! No, it can't be!
我还没和他待够 Jacob!
I'm not done with him, Jacob!
把他留在这边! (穿越到LOST)
He stays on this side!
Kenneth Tracy没死
Kenneth, Tracy's not dead.
NBC新闻给所有的名人都准备了讣告
NBC news makes obituaries for celebrities to have them ready.
他们只是在把Tracy最近 醉驾潜艇那段加上去
They're just updating Tracy's to include his recent submarine D.U.I.
噢 感谢上帝
Oh, thank goodness.
那我能不能拷一份给Jordan先生看?
Say, do you think I could get a copy of that to show Mr. Jordan?
这样他就能亲眼目睹自己的葬礼了 就像Tom Sawyer那样!
That way, he can see his own funeral,just like Tom Sawyer!
Tom是我们镇上的 不小心被活埋了
Well, Tom was a fellow from my town we accidentally buried alive.
搞笑的是当我们把他重新挖出来之后 他居然想把我们杀了
Funny story, after we dug him back up,he tried to kill all of us.
喂? - 嘿 Liz
Hello? - Hey, Liz.
我是你♥爸♥ Dick Lemon (这个也和鸡♥巴♥的发音一样)
It's your father. Dick Lemon.
爸 你不用每次都报名字的
Dad, you don't have to say your name every time.
电♥话♥礼仪很重要的 Liz
Telephone etiquette is important, Liz.
这样人们不用见面就能知道你的种族了
It lets people know your race even when they can't see you.
算了 这周忙不?
Anyway, got a busy week?
不忙 我本来要参加单身厨房♥课
Not really, I was gonna take this class called "cooking for one,"
结果老师自杀了
but the teacher killed himself.
那我过来看看你怎么样? - 真的? 好啊
Well, what about a visit?- Really? That would be great.
你和妈妈来了 说我没有朋友的那个保安 就只有自己煽耳光了
With you and mom here, the doormen will have to eat their words about me never having friends over.
恩 这次就我一个人来 Elizabeth 你妈妈不来
Well, it'll just be me this time, Elizabeth.Your mother isn't coming.
什么? 你跟妈妈都是一起旅行的呀
What? You and mom always travel together.
恩 她这次不来
Well, she's not coming this time.
我就想自己一个人玩玩 一个男人的生活就不能有点乐子吗?
I just want to have a little fun by myself.Can't a guy have a little fun?
你哪不对啦? - 你哪不对啦?
What is wrong with you? - What's wrong with you?
你妈回来了 别给她告密哈
Your mother's home.This conversation never happened.
什么? 他在搞啥?
What? What?
我是绝地武士!
I am a jedi!
Tracy Jordan 肥婊♥子♥电影系列的主演
Tracy Jordan, star of the fat bitch movies,
曾连续九年获得"最差黑人男演员奖"
was also voted "worst representation of a black man" nine years in a row.
而最为大家熟知的要数 那笔给联邦通信委员会的罚款了…
Perhaps best known for his fcc fines...
感谢上帝我没有XX任何人
And thank god I didn't anybody,
感谢上帝我XX了我XX.
and thank god I my.
以及害女王染上犬类病毒一事
And giving the queen Parvo.
这太糟了! 我死后就留下了这些?
This is terrible!When I'm dead, that's what I leave behind?
我孙子们穿着喷射飞行背包的时候 就只能想到我这些事迹?
That's how my grandkids will remember me as they fly around in their jetpacks?
这样断章取义是不太公平
Well, it's not fair out of context.
看上去是女王陛下暗示你吻的 - 这不重要
Her highness was sending signals.- It doesn't matter.
这就是我在世人心目中的印象… 一个傻♥逼♥百万富翁
That's how the world sees me...As some idiot millionaire.
谁 Mark Cuban? 那娃开摩托艇把我撞倒了
Who, Mark Cuban?That guy ran me over with a jet ski.
他在苦恼个啥? - 都是我的错
What is he so upset about?- It's my fault.
我让Jordan先生看了他的讣告
I let Mr. Jordan see his obituary.
他要死了? 好吧 我会在葬礼上献歌♥的
He's dying?Fine, I'll sing at his funeral.
不是的 小姐 NBC新闻会提前为名人制♥作♥讣告
No, ma'am.NBC news makes celebrity obituaries ahead of time.
真是典型的自♥由♥派媒体作风 - 真的? 那我得去看看我的
Typical liberal media.- They do? Well, then I need to see mine.
要是他们用了我在商场行窃被捕的镜头
If they used any of the footage from my shoplifting arrest,
那就太好了 因为我的手臂看上去超漂亮
that would be great because my arms looked fantastic.
嘿 我能和你谈谈吗?
Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?
我爸刚打电♥话♥来... - Lemon 很抱歉
My dad just called, and...- Lemon, uh, I'm sorry.
如果这是私人事由 我们就不能谈论了
If this is about a personal matter,we can't discuss it.
什么? 为什么? - 因为Avery
What? Why? - It's Avery.
她就要当我老婆了 你应该能理解
She's going to be my wife someday,and understandably,
我们这种类型的关系让她困惑
the nature of our relationship is a little confusing to her.
噢 她觉得受威胁了
Oh, she feels threatened.
肯定是因为我的"性魅力" 因为我很"性感"
It must be my "sesuality," because I am so very "sesual."
这招怎么样?
You like that?
可能Avery只是最近有点情绪化
And maybe Avery is a little emotional these days.
她的胸部激增
She's put on considerable boob weight.
不怎么习惯 有时还会摔跤 压力太大了
She's not used to that, and sometimes she just falls over.It's stressful.
但她关于我们的论述是有道理的
But she might have a point about us.
或许你天天跑来找我讨论你生活中 的小事是有些不合时宜
Maybe it isn't appropriate for you to still come to me with every little problem in your life.
好吧 太好了
Oh. Okay.Great. Fine.
那我自力更生
I'll solve my own problems.
哇 解决了
Blammo. Solved it.
你什么意思 没有我的讣告? 我是Jenna Maroney
What do you mean, I don't have an obituary?I'm Jenna Maroney.
我可在开心辞典电影版答过题的
I played arts and literature in the film adaptation of trivial pursuit.
我知道你是谁 Maroney小姐 但你不在名单上
I know who you are, miss Maroney,but you're not on the list.
他们只给重要的人做讣告
They only make obits for people they think are,you know, important.
比如说? 金♥正♥日♥?
Like who?Kim Jong-Il?
我都没听说过她 我也应该列在名单上
I never heard of her.I should be on here.
您要见我吗 先生?
You wanted to see me, sir?
Jonathan 我正在寻觅新人来当我的徒弟
Jonathan, I may be in the market for a new young person to mentor.
我的神啊
Oh, my god.
先生 我曾经梦想过这个时刻...
Sir, I have dreamed of this moment...
但是我担心你没有足够的野心
but my fear is that you don't have enough ambition.
接受我指导所必须的动力
The drive to deserve my mentorship.
不会的 先生 为了您 我什么都愿意做
No, sir, there is nothing in the world that I wouldn't do for you.
我的律师正在办公室里等着
My attorney is waiting in his office.
如果你能把我的小指带过去 他就会给你成为我徒弟的...
He will present you with a contract to be my mentee if you bring him...
合同 - 不行 先生
My pinky.- No, sir.
那样的话 您就不完美了 我是不会那样做的
Then you wouldn't be perfect anymore.I won't do it.
果然 我就知道你不会做
Exactly.I knew that you wouldn't.
不 这样吧!
No, no, watch!
我把自己的小指切下来 然后说是你的 - Jonathan
I'll cut off my pinky and tell him it's yours.- Jonathan.
有野心就是要敢于杀死自己的挚爱
Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love
食其皮肉 以求生存
and eat them in order to stay alive.
你没见过我的抱枕吗?
Haven't you ever read my throw pillow?
爸 - 嗨 宝贝!
Dad. - Hi, sweetheart!
你的眼镜呢? 你那件衬衫是怎么回事?
Where are your glasses?And what's with that shirt?
我不需要眼镜 这是Edward Hardy的衬衫
I don't need my glasses,and this is an Edward Hardy shirt.
在Mervyn百货公♥司♥里 有人用很时髦的拉丁口音告诉我
A very hip latino-sounding blur at mervyn's
说我穿这件很好看
said I looked good in it.
爸 你这是要做什么?
Dad, what are you doing?
你独自一人旅游 你现在的样子就像
You're traveling alone,you show up here looking
放了300多年春假一样
like you've been on spring break for 300 years,
而且老妈刚打来电♥话♥ 让我在 你做结肠镜检查之前抱你一下
and earlier, mom called and told me to give you a hug before your colonoscopy.
爸 看着我 你怎么了?
Dad, look at me. What is going on?
宝贝 这话真的很难说出口 我和你妈打算分开一段时间
Honey, there's no easy way to say it.Your mother and I are taking a little break.
分开? 你们都过了45年了
A break? After 45 years?
宝贝 原因很复杂 我们之间存在问题
Honey, it's complicated. We're having problems.
真的吗 老妈知道你们有问题吗? 她还以为你现在在医院呢
我为喜剧狂（2006）
30 Rock
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