我为喜剧狂（2006）
30 Rock S05E19
Part 3
June 7, 2022, 4:05 p.m.
You are a guest here, Phil.- Hello, Phil.
关于"大家都爱雷蒙德"试镜答复我一直没收到过 不知道你决定好了没
I never heard back about my audition for Everybody Loves Raymond.I'd wondered if you made a decision.
是的 15年前就决定好了 我们决定了用Doris Roberts
Yeah, 15 years ago.We went with Doris Roberts.
不过很感谢你把你的大头像绑在砖头上 然后从我窗户扔进来
But thank you for tying your headshot around a brick and throwing it through my window.
上啊 大光头 上啊
Go ahead, bald bitch. Go ahead.
很谢谢你这样做
Thanks for doing this.
我说服了我的前妻 这样我儿子 就能看到我赢了
I convinced my ex to drop off my kid so he could see me being a winner.
你太棒了 没人会知道你故意输的
You rock. No one's gonna know that you did this
也没有人会知道其实你真的比我壮 - 这都没关系
or that you're actually stronger than me.- It doesn't matter.
重要的是我知道我在做正确的事情
All that matters is I'm doing the right thing.
这才是真正的力量
That's real strength.
我赢啦 中饭点宜家
Ha. I beat you. We're getting lunch from Ikea.
宜家! 宜家!
Ikea! Ikea! Ikea!Ikea! Ikea!
好吧 客人来了也不招待
That's fine. Don't offer your guest anything.
蜡像 - 靠 我以为我们找到他了呢
Wax statue. - Darn it. I thought we had him.
你在开我玩笑吗?
Are you kidding me?
这两个星期以来你都住在我家吗?
You have been hiding in my apartment for the last two weeks?
你有什么好生气的? 我都不问你要六万美金的出场费呢
What are you mad about? I'm waiving the $60,000 you owe me in appearance fees.
你真的以为我认不出来 我大学时的蒲团?
Did you really think I wouldn't recognize my college futon
商标上都没有爱♥液♥的痕迹
with its trademark absence of sex stains?
这是你有史以来最笨的主意了
This is the stupidest idea you've ever had.
真的吗? 你仔细想想 TGS是你全部的生活
Really? Think about it. TGS is your whole life.
所以 如果你想拯救你的节目 哪里是你最不会去的地方呢?
So where's the last place you would be if you were out trying to save your show?
家 从不靠谱的地方学来的人生一课
Home. Life lesson from an unlikely source.
我在这里做的唯一事情就是睡觉 - 我知道 我见你睡过
The only thing I do here is sleep. - I know. I seen you do it.
你正在做梦 这是你唯一一种芥末酱吗?
You're having a dream. Is this your only mustard?
什么? 是的
Huh? What? Yeah.
是你在我的购物清单上写 "所有种类的芥末酱"的
You're the one who wrote "every kind of mustard" on my shopping list.
但是你还是没买♥♥到我想要的那种
And yet you still don't have the one I'm thinking of.
是红色的 上面写着"Ketchup" (就是番茄酱嘛)
It's red. It says ketchup on it.
哦 我反应过来了 是我的错
Oh, I hear it. That's on me.
听着 Tracy
Look, Tracy.
我不知道你突然发什么疯 但是我很想帮你
I don't know why you're going crazy,but I want to help.
回到TGS的怀抱吧 - 你以为我不想吗 L.L?
Just come back to TGS.- You don't think I want to, L.L.?
那你躲什么呢?
Then why are you hiding?
哦 不 你也把冰激凌洒到 你妈妈男朋友的录音机上了?
Oh, no, did you also spill ice cream on your mom's boyfriend's record player?
为了节省时间 我把你俩简称为Klemon
As a time saver, I will refer to the two of you as Klemon.
我曾想要人生的升华 Klemon
I wanted that next level, Klemon.
现在 记住 为了节省时间 你们俩是Klemon
Now, remember, to save time,you two are Klemon.
它结合了..... - 继续说你的
It's a combination of... - Just keep going.
我有了我梦寐以求的一切
I had everything I dreamed of.
奖励 尊敬 Justin Long的亲笔签名
Awards, respect, Justin long's autograph.
但是我也背上了别人的期望
But I also got expectations.
人们都觉得我应该改变世界 可是这样鸭梨很大
People thought I could change the world. And it's too much pressure.
就像上次在金球奖派对上 我陷入了Temple Grandin的拥抱机 (Temple Grandin:自闭症患者)
Like the time I got stuck in temple grandin's hugging machine at the golden globes party.
你假装来到非洲 这样就没人对你感到失望了
You pretended to be in Africa so that no one would be disappointed in you.
很抱歉这样对你 半个klemon 我没有别的选择
I'm sorry I did this to you, half of Klemon.I had no choice.
Sean penn希望我和他一起去海地
Sean Penn wanted me to go to Haiti with him.
我还没有强大到可以接受那样的痛苦
And I'm not strong enough for the pain
并且忍♥受和Sean penn一起 坐三个小时飞机的人生惨剧
and the human misery of a three-hour plane ride with Sean Penn.
我已经厌倦了躲藏 我只想要原来的那种生活
I'm tired of hiding. I just want my old life back.
那你得让别人不再尊敬你
Then you need to get people to stop respecting you
让他们想起来你是个怎样的傻缺
and start remembering what an idiot you are.
你摆脱束缚了 Tracy - 这不是种束缚
You're off the leash, Tracy.- It's not a leash.
不过是一段很长且多余的皮
It's a very long skin tag.
你想要以前的生活? 你可是Tracy Jordan
You want your old life back? You're Tracy Jordan.
Hulk Hogan称你为人♥渣♥
Hulk hogan called you a dirt bag.
全国有色人种协进会曾雇人暗♥杀♥你
The naacp once hired someone to kill you.
你戴了个小鸡鸡帽子 出席戴安娜王妃的葬礼
You wore a penis hat to Princess Diana's funeral.
因为我在她的婚礼上也戴那顶帽子
Because I had worn it to their wedding.
这对我们三个都有特殊的意义
It was special to the three of us.
你以前是人♥渣♥ 现在还能重操旧业
You were the worst, and you can be again.
你只需走出来 提醒人们你的真实面目
You just have to go out there and remind people who you really are.
去酒店房♥间里搞破坏 在Elmo(芝麻街玩偶)面前脱♥光♥光
Go trash a hotel room, expose yourself to elmo,
去监狱探望OJ 用锤子砸林肯纪念碑 (OJ是名噪一时的黑人杀人犯)
visit OJ in jail again, attack the Lincoln memorial with a hammer.
我要毁掉我所有善良的一面 这样他们就不会对我有所期待了
I have to burn all my goodwill. Then they won't expect anything from me.
这样你就能回到生活的正轨 当然还包括节目组了
And you can go back to your old life and TGS.
Tracy Jordan摆脱束缚啦!
Tracy Jordan is off the leash!
祝你成功 Jordan先生
Godspeed, Mr. Jordan.
♪ 我是英雄警♥察♥ ♪
♪ I'm the hero cop ♪ and I'm here to say ♪
♪ 我来这里是想说 千万不要嗑药 ♪
♪ don't do drugs ♪ is what I'm here to say ♪
真不敢相信这段神一般的Rap 现在在iTunes上也能买♥♥到了
I can't believe that amazing rap is available now on iTunes.
开什么玩笑 没有人会付钱听这个的
Are you kidding? No one's gonna pay to see that.
没关系 已经开始赚钱了 挺有成效的 Lemon
It doesn't matter. It's already profitable. It works, Lemon.
为Phil Rosenthal投一票 编辑短♥信♥"PHIL"到"62288"
To vote for Phil Rosenthal, text "Phil" to 62288.
投票? 投什么 这难道不是一部电影吗?
Vote? For what?Isn't this supposed to be a movie?
这个也不重要 人们发一条短♥信♥
Again, it doesn't matter.People will just do it,
我们赚9毛9
and we get 99 cents a text.
我可不想让Rosenthal赢 我要投票给那个小木偶
Well, I'm not letting Rosenthal win.I am voting for the muppet.
投票给Liz Lemon 发短♥信♥"LIZ"到"62288"
To vote for Liz Lemon, text "Liz" to 62288.
我为喜剧狂（2006）
30 Rock
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