我为喜剧狂（2006）
30 Rock S05E18
Part 2
June 7, 2022, 4:05 p.m.
and we were all like "whatever. We'll go to IHOP.And not tell him."
那他现在在哪里啊? - 我找到了一个他在布鲁克林的地址
Where is he now? - I tracked him down to an address in Brooklyn.
他居然在用Linkedin作为社交网络 Lemon 他还不如去死呢!
He's on Linkedln, Lemon. He might as well be dead!
然后我就扔给他一个救生圈 然后他就像只什么一样爬回来...
So I throw him a lifeline, and he comes crawling back like a, uh...
螃蟹吧 什么东西是爬的啊 Lemon?
Crab, I guess.What else crawls, Lemon?
婴儿也爬 Jack 你也有一个
Babies, Jack. You have one.
Hank hooper是个老古董
Hank Hooper is a traditionalist.
他第一次得心脏病是因为 他看到批萨上有菠萝
He had his first heart attack when he saw pineapple on a pizza.
他会恨死Banks和他那没毛的鼻孔的
He'll hate Banks and his hairless nostrils.
男人的鼻孔里应该有毛的
And men should have nose hairs.
Hooper会讨厌Devin 这样 他就永远爬不到你头上去了
Hooper will hate Devin,and he'll never be able to go over your head.
正是 我会付钱听取他的建议 然后再把他踢出去
Exactly. I'll pay him for his ideas and, uh,kick him out the door.
说起电视节目 如果剧本 说的是某个电视女作家
Speaking of TV ideas,would you buy a show about a girl television writer
想要在城市里有番作为...
trying to have it all in the city
同时 她还是一个吸血鬼 你会采纳吗? - 我喜欢最后那部分
and... also, she's a vampire, I guess?- I like the end part.
Lemon 你的空白笔记本上 为什么写着"B计划"?
Lemon, why do you have a blank note pad with "plan b" written on it?
因为我现在很怕啊 我跟每个人都说了 暂时被迫停播的事
Because I'm freaking out. I told everyone about the forced hiatus...
等等 你说了"被迫停播"吗?
wait. You said "forced hiatus"?
是啊 我不知道那是腰斩暗语
Yeah. I didn't know it was code for canceled.
我以为我们之间很有默契的
I thought we understood each other.
我以为你我都领悟到 你懂得我不可能都懂!
I thought we understood that you are never to think that I understand anything!
所以你没有"B"计划?
And you have no plan "b"?
在过去两年里 我已经不停地提醒你 要准备没有TGS的日子
I've been telling you to prepare for the end of TGS for the last two years.
可从那时开始 "极速前进"一直很好看
Well, there have been a lot of amazing races on since then,
我看得停不下来 然后还要上网去评头论足
and I had to watch them and go online and comment on them.
这些是你的选择 你可以去洛杉矶
Here are your options... You can go to L.A.
我去过洛杉矶 就一次
I've been to L.A. once.
1992年4月29日
Olive大街变成了Barham大道? - 为Rodney King主持正义!
Olive just turns into barham?- Justice for Rodney King!
我要怎么才能到第10街啊? - 这里就是第10街!
How do I get to 10? It's the 10!
Rodney King! - 你现在挑剔不起来了
Rodney King!- You can't afford to be selective.
留给编剧的选择越来越少了
Opportunities for writers are fewer and farther between.
那做个讲故事的人呢?
What about opportunities for storytellers?
从拉斯科的山洞壁画开始 人类-
Beginning with the cave paintings of lascaux, mankind...
我可以让你跟 Nick Lachey谈谈关于"欢乐颂"节目
I can get you a meeting with Nick Lachey for the sing-off.
好 我要!
I'll take it!
你也是来面试的吗? - 是啊
You here for the sing-off gig? - Yeah.
我认识你吗? - 你应该知道我的作品 跟我一起走走
Do I know you? - You know my work. Walk with me.
我是Aaron Sorkin 白宫风云 义海雄风 社交网络都出自我手
I'm Aaron Sorkin. The west wing, a few good men,social network.
还有日落大道60号♥? - 闭嘴 你知道Nick Lachey?
Studio 60? - Shut up.Do you know Nick Lachey?
我听说开会时他都不让你坐 就朝你大吼然后看你怎么反映
I hear he doesn't even let you sit in the meeting. He just screams at you to see how you react.
等等 你不是真的想要应征这工作吧?
Wait, you're not really applying for this job, are you?
当然是了 哪里有活就接 特别是现在
Of course I am. You gotta take work where you can find it.Especially now.
我们的才华已经要断层了 现在的人都只会玩 愤怒的小鸟和脸书
Our craft is dying while people are playing angry birds and poking each other on Facebook.
到底什么是脸书啊? 怎么就没人加我呢? 我也很潮啊!
What is poking, anyway? Why won't anybody do it to me?I'm cool!
所以世道真不好啊 连Aaron Sorkin都这样
So it's really that bad out there. I mean, you're Aaron Sorkin.
说起愤怒的小鸟 你知道怎么过11关之4吗?
Speaking of angry birds, do you know how to beat 11-4?
就是只有红 绿两个家伙的那关
It's just a red guy and a green guy.
关键是不要用那个绿家伙来做回旋镖
The key is do not use the green guy as a boomerang.
我们刚刚是绕圈走了一次吗?
Did we just go in a circle?
听着 小姐 只要故事要求 我都能把 一个性别写得特别好- 我♥干♥活很严肃的!
Listen, lady...A gender I write extremely well if the story calls for it...This is serious!
我们有游览马车 但福特T型车却又大张旗鼓地出现了
We make horse buggies and the first model t just rolled into town.
我们是恐龙了 - 不需要两个暗喻
We're dinosaurs. - We don't need two metaphors.
那样的写作手法不好 倒不是说很重要
That's bad writing. Not that it matters.
Sorkin先生 Lachey先生可以见你了
Mr. Sorkin, Mr. Lachey will see you now.
Lachey先生 我可是粉丝啊 您的专辑我可都听过了
Mr. Lachey, huge fan. Huge fan. I have all your albums.
你会为我自豪的 Lemon小姐
Oh. You'll be proud of me, miss Lemon.
要想出主意来拯救这个节目 可不是件容易的事
It is not easy coming up with ideas to save the show.
但今天 我把这个牌子举到了"今日秀"的现场
But this morning, I held up this sign in the today show window.
你有主意吗?
现在 我只需要等电♥话♥响就行了
Now, I'm just waitin' for the phone to ring.
Kenneth 你可能拯救不了这个节目了
Kenneth, you may not be able to save the show.
你要是想救这个节目 你就要有粉丝的支持
If you wanna save this dumb show, you gotta get the fans involved.
这么说吧 有时粉丝为凸显热情 会寄东西到广播公♥司♥来
You know, like sometimes people mail stuff to networks to show how passionate they are.
拯救"胜利之光" 来几个灯泡
They sent light bulbs to save Friday night lights,
想留住"E星恋" 来点辣辣酱
hot sauce to save roswell,
要挺"明星伙伴" 来它几个废物
and douche bags to save entourage.
也就是说 我们得琢磨出点儿
Okay. So we just need to think of something
粉丝寄来能让老板保留TGS的东东
that fans can send to Hank Hooper that says TGS.
比如
Something like...
小鸟网络!
Bird Internet!
来得正好 Cashmere 找到Chana的小枕头了吗? 是不是在
It's about time, cashmere. Did you find Chana's boppy?Was it at...
音乐大冒险?
Music adventures?
Banks... 你都沦落到神马地步了啊?
Banks... What's become of you?
木事!
Nothing!
这些不是宝宝 我只是在大规模培育人体器官
These aren't babies. They're organ farms.
不要... 盯着人家看!
Don't... look at me!
Devin... 你一个同志 养这么多娃 解释一下
Devin... Explain the gaybies.
哥现在成了家庭主夫 你满意了?
I'm a househusband now. Happy?
我华丽丽地嫁了个黑人舞蹈家 Cashmere
I married a shiny black dancer named cashmere,
我们把两人的精♥子♥混在一起 这样就分不出孩子是具体哪个人的了
and we mixed our sperm together so no one would know whose baby is whose.
瞧够了 乐够了?
Now... have you had your fun looking at the freak?
今天我来是给你送福音的
I'm here to offer an olive branch.
现在我在Kabletown干活儿 刚收♥购♥了一家叫Twinks的公♥司♥
I'm working with Kabletown now, and we've acquired a network called twinks.
我想雇个能做全职的来替我♥干♥活
I could use someone on it full-time, a subordinate.
你大老远跑来Brooklyn
You came all the way out here to Brooklyn
就为了给我一份工作?
to offer me, Banks, a job?
看来你是真没辙了Jack
You must be desperate, Jack.
Twinks估计现在是岌岌可危
Twinks must be exploding, and not in a good way.
你以为我会对你感恩戴德 其实你只是利用我罢了
You thought that I would lick your boots,but you need me.
不过我现在给你这个机会
So now I'm gonna make you let me lick your boots.
我会让你忙得脚不沾地 - 好得很 继续
I'll keep you on a very tight leash.- Fantastic. Continue.
我不会再拿你是同志的事说事儿 所以我把丑话说在前头
I will not gay set you up again, so I'll be very clear.
哥在上 你在下 赶出半点闪失 小心你的屁屁
You'll be under me, and if there's one slip-up, your ass is mine.
就知道你忍♥不住要来看我的惨状
You couldn't resist coming to see how far I'd fallen.
不过你打错算盘了
But that was your mistake.
暴风雨来得猛烈 正好洗光虫虫
Down came the rain and washed the spider out.
你才是虫虫 哥是太阳 雨后天晴全得看哥的
No. You are the spider. I am the sun.I dry up all the rain.
没错 晴得差不多了 我才能卷土重来!
Yes! Freeing me, the spider, to climb up the spout again!
你个混♥蛋♥
You bastard.
看看现在是谁有求于我
Now... Who wants some num-nums?
Simon 神马情况
Hey, Simon. What's up?
"欢乐颂"那边有消息了吗?
Any word from the sing-off?
过了 不过Lachey八喜欢你
It's a pass. But Lachey hated you.
现在怎么办? - 你被炒了
So what now? - You're fired.
啥? - 你被炒了
What? - You're fired.
你不要我这个客户了?
Are you dropping me as a client?
那让我怎么办? Jack指望不上 你也不要我 其它我什么也不会
What am I gonna do? Jack can't help me. You don't want me as a client.I have no other skills.
Liz 我把那些对失业狗说的话 再跟你说一遍
Liz, I'm gonna tell you what I tell my dog clients when I drop them...
戗 戗 戗!（狗话）
Chuh, chuh!Chuh, chuh, chuh!
Simon - （更多狗话）
Simon... - Chuh!Chuh, chuh.
Jack 我们等这个Bank都快一个小时了
Jack. We've been waiting almost an hour for this Banks fellow.
我只能想到一个解释 这家伙一到节骨眼上就闪人
The only explanation I can think of is that he keeps stopping to perform good deeds.
不 他这是在耍手腕 从一见面开始
No, he's pulling a power play, right out of the gate.
他让我们等着以便给你造成 我管不了他的印象
He's making us wait so it looks like I have no authority over him.
我是个心直口快的人 Jack
Well, I'm a straight shooter, Jack.
就是小便时不快 不过那只是越南战役时 被流弹击中的后遗症而已
Except at the urinal, but that's just a little shrapnel side effect from Vietnam.
谈生意的时候 我不喜欢你们的这种游戏
So when it comes to business... I don't like these kinds of games.
希望我的语气能告诉你 我现在有多生气
Boy, I hope my tone is conveying how annoyed I am.
你当然有理由生气 Hank
You should be annoyed, Hank, of course.
Devin这种操纵的小伎俩 对你这样的人来说是不起作用的
Devin's crude attempts at manipulation don't work with a man like you.
Banks不像你我那样心直口快
Banks is not a straight shooter like you and me.
我们只是暂时需要他而已
For now... We need him.
一旦他没用了 - 我们就把他一脚踢出去
But as soon as he stops being useful... - we throw him in a ditch.
不好意思 先生们
My apologies, gentlemen.
我本来想打电♥话♥的 可是有人 把奶奶洒在爸爸的电♥话♥上了
I tried to call, but somebody spilled milky all over daddy's phoney.
是你吧 小坏蛋? - 你居然带孩子来参加商务会议
Didn't you, little Mykonos? You brought a baby to a business meeting.
实在对不起 可是他病得很厉害
I'm so sorry, but this little guy's really sick.
他吐了我一身 我现在没法丢下他
He threw up all over my jacket, and I just couldn't leave him, but...
可是我也不想错过这个好机会
Of course, I didn't want to miss this fabulous opportunity.
我总是力图在工作和家庭之间寻找平衡
I'm always just trying to balance work and family.
我就是这样的人
我为喜剧狂（2006）
30 Rock
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