我为喜剧狂（2006）
30 Rock S05E11
Part 2
June 7, 2022, 4:04 p.m.
不不不 Bob 我们说好了的 要买♥♥一起买♥♥
No, no, Bob, we made it very clear. You have to buy NBC with everything else.
那就别去关心嘛
Then just don't watch it.
啥事 Lemon? 我正在谈判一桩300亿美元的生意
What is it, Lemon?I'm trying to negotiate a $30 billion deal.
是"亿" 有人字旁的 是这么多嘛?
That's billion with a "b." Is that right?
听起来好像太多了?
That seems like way too much.
我和我的员工也想努力工作
Yeah, well, my staff and I are also trying to do our jobs,
但是不能没了工作室和医保
but we can't without studio space or health insurance
以及我一直叮嘱Kenneth不要拿的那种蔬菜片
or those vegetable chips that I hate and I keep telling Kenneth not to get.
你看看这个 Lemon 这个是NBC项目重要性饼状图
Let me show you something, Lemon.This is our NBC priority pie chart.
最大的红色这块是"减肥达人"
The big red part you can see is the biggest loser.
黄色部分 第二重要项目是 通过科学和魔法让时光倒流回1977
The yellow slice, our number-two priority,make it 1997 again through science or magic,
绿色这一小条是其他节目 驳回你的请求
and the little green part is everything else.Request denied.
不 驳回驳回请求
No. Request denial denied.
你得把TGS变成重要项目
You have to make TGS a priority.
你的节目去年就赚了600美元 你♥爸♥妈还得出钱买♥♥广♥告♥
Your show netted $600 last year.Your parents had to buy an ad.
我不管 你要是不给我应得的
I don't care.If I don't get what I deserve,
我就不给你签离婚协议
I'm not signing those divorce papers.
你是在要挟我吗?
Are you blackmailing me?
我建议你好好想明白 你现在到底在做什么事
You should think very carefully about what you're doing right now.
我有... 很认真地想
I am... Lots.
那好吧 我们就用强硬手段来解决离婚难题了
Very well. We'll do this divorce the hard way.
但我要提醒你 这不是我第一次和人比赛
But I'm warning you. This isn't my first rodeo, Lemon.
我同样也玩过这样的牛仔竞赛
Well, I've been to a rodeo too.
只不过上次是在一个同性恋家里玩的
It was a cat rodeo in a gay guy's apartment.
我墙上的云雀橄榄球队海报呢? 那可是Marc Trestman签过名的
What happened to my poster of the Montreal alouettes? It's signed by Marc Trestman.
噢 那个俗死了 Danny 就像你♥妈♥的♥夺命连环电邮似的
Oh, it's tacky, Danny, just like your mother's stupid chain emails.
噢 又来了 - 嘿 我的指甲还没干呢!
Oh, here we go. - Oh, my nails are wet!
Hornberger先生...
Mr. Hornberger...
你跟你妻子吵架吗? - 倒不是每天吵
Do you and your wife ever fight?- Not all the time.
在她做完子♥宫♥切除术后 她曾昏迷了一小会儿
After her hysterectomy, she was in a coma briefly.
那你们每次是怎么和好的?
How do y'all make up?
听着 Paula和我很相爱 但两个人住在一起
Look, Paula and I love each other,but two people living together,
有时侯感觉很不自然
it's unnatural.
当家里孩子经常窜出来烦我们时
And while our children are basically snot silos with BB guns,
他们却能像缓冲剂一样派上用场
they do come in handy as a buffer.
是像那种在爱情动作片里的工作吗? 因为我做过 而且我并不喜欢
Is that like being a fluffer? Because I have done that and did not enjoy it.
给宠物吹风可不是什么容易的事
Blow-drying animals at a pet salon is hard work.
不 缓冲意思就是某种保护屏障
No, a buffer is a protective barrier.
就像猪那美味的睾丸外面都有层肉
Like pigs have around their delicious testicle meat.
在孩子面前 我们不能吵架
We can't fight around the kids.
看着他们抬起小脑袋望着你
You see them looking up at you with their little faces,
发现他们的发际线已经开始后移 你就住嘴了
their hair already receding,and you bite your tongue.
缓冲
A buffer.
到底是什么来着?
What is it?
谢谢你 Jack 来参加这个紧急会议
Thanks, Jack, for coming to this emergency meeting.
抱歉 我迟到了4个小时 因为我的闹钟没有响
I'm sorry I'm four hours late,but my alarm clock didn't go off
它在昨天的一场斗鸡比赛中牺牲了
because it died in a cockfight last night.
Tracy 有什么我能做的?
Tracy, what can I do for you?
我发现我马上就要死了
Well, it's come to my attention that I'm going to die.
噢 你不用担心 我们一直都有晾着 Martin Lawrance做备用
Oh, please, you have nothing to worry about. We have Martin Lawrence on a holding deal.
听着 我不想有任何事发生在我丈夫身上
Look, I don't want anything to happen to my husband.
但万一发生了 我们可是花销很大的人
But if it did, we have a lot of expenses.
遗产规划是很复杂的事 政♥府♥要拿走一半遗产税呢
Estate planning is complicated, what, with the government taking half.
什么? 那是重复征税
What? That's double taxation.
我喜欢你的想法 Angie 有什么我能做的?
I like you, Angie.How can I help?
为了能维持我们的生活水平
Well, to maintain our standard of living,
我必须挣得跟Tracy一样多
I need to be able to earn as much as Tracy does.
而如果你想变百万富翁又没读过什么书
And if you need to make millions of dollars but have no real skills or education,
娱乐圈是个完美的地方 比如说 看看我
the best place to do it is in entertainment. I mean, look at me.
我在地图上连墨西哥都找不到
I can't even find Mexico on a map.
公♥司♥里现在周转有点不灵
Things are a little tight at the company right now,
但你要是想学习娱乐圈的运作 我可以给你提供点活做
but if you want to learn about the entertainment business, I can find you something.
噢 当然 我很愿意从基层开始作起 但我有一件事是不会做的
Oh, yeah, I'm willing to start at the bottom. There's only one thing I won't do,
那就是听从任何人的命令
and that's take orders from anyone, ever.
嘿 Angie 你在干什么?
Hey, Angie, what are you doing?
不好意思 但我是不会因为我还是个 新实习生 就取消我跟D'fwan的美发预约
I'm sorry. I'm not about to cancel my hair appointment with D'Fwan because I'm your new intern.
这里该搞点香薰了
You need to light some incense in here.
好吧 等等 谁说你是我的实习生的?
Okay, hang on. Who said you're my intern?
这是Jack说的 我要开创我的事业啊
It was Jack's idea. I have to start a career.
但我下周要放假 因为我要去滑雪
But I'm gonna need next week off to go skiing.
什么? - 好吧 我知道这是怎么回事了
What? - Okay, I see what this is.
Jack在恶搞我呢 我们之前吵过架 现在他把你找来寻我开心吧
Jack's messing with me.We're having a little fight, so he sent you here...
不好意思 我怎么就烦到你了呢?
Excuse me.How is my being here messing with you?
你对一个强势的非洲裔女子有意见吗?
Do you have a problem with strong black women?
不! 你看不出来吗? 这就是Jack的诡计
No! Don't you see? That's the kind of exchange Jack wants.
Angie 实习生做的事就是复复印 跑跑腿啊
Angie, an intern's job is to do things like make copies and run errands.
所以我是你的下人咯? - 不 因为你不收工钱
So I'm like your servant? - No, because you're not being paid.
你更像...(奴隶) 噢 天啊
You're really more like... Oh, boy.
听着 Angie 你不会想做什么实习生的 - 别以为你知道我想要什么
Look, Angie, you don't want to be an intern. - Don't tell me what I want.
而且我现在没时间去指点谁 所以我觉得这是行不通的
And I don't really have time to mentor someone right now, so I don't think this is a good idea.
怎么回事 - 那个白种女人刚刚把你炒了
I don't understand. - That white girl just fired you.
拜托 D'fwan 说话友善点嘛
Come on, D'Fwan, be a buddy.
嘿 白♥痴♥ 别乱碰...
Hey.Idiot, don't touch the...
没事了 耐你哦
Nothing.Love you.
看 我画了一幅我们的画 - 是你画的吗?
Look, I made this picture of us. - Did you draw that?
你可能要去看病了 因为对于一个成年人来说 这样做太挫了
You might need help. That's awful for an adult.
我觉得你画得挺好的 Kenneth 我觉得你应该把它挂到墙上
Well, I think it's great, Kenneth. You should hang it on the wall.
小心! - 别老是惯着他 他没问题的
Careful! - Don't coddle the boy. He can do it.
噢 我的骨头!
Oh, my bones!
看你做的好事 - 你吓着他了
Now look what you did. - You made him afraid.
噢 我还让你变得不男不女了吗? - 我的人生让你给毁了!
Oh, did I also make you half a man? - You're ruining my life!
什么人生? - 我的骨头
What life?- My bones.
Lemon 为什么明天早上我跟 Jeffrey Weinerslav有个预约?
Lemon, why do I have an appointment with Jeffrey Weinerslav tomorrow morning?
我跟你结婚后的每一天都在变得更糟
Every day that I'm married to you, my life gets worse.
把Angie搅和进来真的很有趣 Jack 你的计划成功点不少啊
That Angie thing was real cute, Jack. And some of your plan worked.
现在 她恨死我了 而我又不小心提到了奴隶
Yes, she hated me, and, yes, I mentioned slavery by mistake.
我知道你是靠得住的 - 但你也把我安排为了她的上司 所以我把她开了
I knew I could count on you. - But you also made me her boss, so I fired her.
她追闹了一会 所以我躲在了 新闻部的一个衣橱里
She chased me around for a while, so I hid in a closet down on news,
但后来Subhas和Ann Curry进来了
but then Subhas and Ann Curry came in,just going to town on ea...
我准备出去 靠! - 这是你们之间的一个游戏?
Damn it! - Is this a game for you two?
我还以为你是要帮助我的家庭 我的家庭!
I thought you were trying to help my family. My family!
我可不是什么棋子 我可是大人物
I'm not a pawn. I am a queen.
你们都是垃圾 你知道Angie Jordan 是怎么对待垃圾的吗?
You all are trash. And you know what Angie Jordan does with the trash?
她会把垃圾拖到街上等着给人收
She drags it out to the curb for pickup.
Angie 我不是有意 - 我要把你的假发扯下来
Angie, I did not mean... - I will rip your weave out.
这不是假发!
It's not a weave!
哦 天啊 Angie 别 我不该让你当实习生
Oh, good god, Angie, no.I should never have made you an intern.
你是一颗明星 - 说对了 我就是
You're a star. - That's right. I am.
娱乐业是能让没什么本事的人变得富有
Entertainment is where untalented people go to get rich,
你有变成真人秀红星的一切本领 揪头发啊
and you have all the makings of a reality superstar... Hair pullingness,
自以为是啊 冲动易怒啊 爱说流行词啊
delusions of grandeur, an insanely short fuse,catchphrases...
我在发工资前一直这样 - 就要这个主题
It's my way till payday. - That's the t-shirt.
我应该给你一部个人真人秀 星期五晚上...
I should give you your own reality show, Friday nights...
11:00点 - 什么? 那是女生秀或者摔跤节目的时间
11:00. - What? That is when TGS or wrestling is on.
我觉得如果你愿意签字的话 我可以考虑换时间
I guess I could reconsider the time slot in exchange for your signature.
知道么 你这是瞎诈唬 你才不会给她拍节目呢
Ugh. You know what?I'm calling your bluff. You're not giving her a TV show.
告诉你一声啊 我跟一特逗的肥姐们儿倍儿铁
Fyi, I am friends with a hilarious fat girl
还有一姐们儿 特疯 刚离婚的白人妞 就想进音乐圈儿
and a crazy-eyed, divorced white lady who wants to be in the music business.
哦 我想看耶 D'fwan会上节目吗?
Oh, I'd watch that. Can D'Fwan be on it?
会和他那更娘的男朋友一起哦
With his even gayer boyfriend.
好吧 让她上节目吧 我会在咱家用咱的电视欣赏的
Okay, fine. Give her her own show, and I will watch it on our TV in our house,
因为我不会签任何东西 跟你没完
because I'm not signing anything.This is not over.
你觉得我那个嗑药的外甥能上节目么?
You think my meth-addict nephew should be on the show?
必须上!
Yes, please!
Pete 你和Paula经常打架 - 不是 我走路撞门上了 真够笨的
Pete, you and Paula fight a lot. - No, I-I walked into a door. I'm so clumsy.
Jack利用女生秀作为离婚的筹码
Jack is using TGS as leverage in our divorce.
他说他要用一台关于Angie的真人秀 来取代我们
He says he's gonna replace us with a reality show about Angie.
哦 我想看耶 - 那是一定的 但是我们该怎么还击呢?
Oh, I'd watch that. - Obviously. But how do I fight back?
首先 你不能让步 一旦让步 全盘皆输
Well, first off, you can't back down. If you do that, we get nothing.
有一次我同意不看橄榄球赛 而是去家具店
I agreed to go to a furniture store instead of watching football one time,
我为喜剧狂（2006）
30 Rock
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