我为喜剧狂（2006）
30 Rock S05E09
Part 1
June 7, 2022, 4:04 p.m.
嘿 那是什么声音?
Hey, what was that sound?
是机会的敲门声
It was opportunity knocking.
没人敲门啊 你直接闯进来的
No one knocked. You just barged in.
咚咚 - 你说得对 Donald
Knock knock. - You were right, Donald.
你先进来才比较合符情理
It makes more sense for you to enter first.
没事 爸爸 我们重来一遍好了
It's okay, daddy. We'll just start over.
恩 你们能不能就开门见山地说了?
Uh, you know, why don't we just dive in to whatever this is?
好吧 你记得Donald吧
Okay, you remember Donald,
我那个比我大两岁的儿子 - 记得 请坐吧
my son who's two years older than me. - Ah, yes, please.
没记错的话 你有家Tracy Jordan黑人空手道馆
As I recall, you own the Tracy Jordan institute for black karate.
你肯定难以置信 那家店倒闭了
You wouldn't believe this,but that business failed.
都怪奥巴马
I blame Obama.
但好消息是 Donald又有新主意了
But the good news is, Donald has a brand-new venture.
儿子 给他推销推销
Sell him, son.
在时代广场开家主题餐厅
It's a theme restaurant in Times Square.
主题餐厅这种商业模式挺好的
Well, the theme restaurant business model does work.
Nascar高脂咖啡馆可是棵摇钱树啊
Nascar's fat load cafe is a gold mine.
我们已经从Brown&Folderson公♥司♥ 筹到了一笔钱
Well, we got a bunch of capital from Brown and Folderson.
但我们想在火箭腾飞前给你留个座位
And we wanted to get you a seat on this rocket before it takes off.
那就这么定了 Jack作为投资方加入董事会
So it's decided. Jack's on board as an investor.
恩 快了点不
Ah, not so fast.
那… 就… 这么-
So... it's... decid...
我也不拐弯抹角了
uh, let's just bottom-line this thing.
在我做调查之前 是不会做任何投资的
I never invest without doing my research.
我今晚就去实地考察 好好分♥析♥分♥析♥
I'll do a site visit tonight and kick the tires.
好嘛 不过如果被其他投资者抢先 就是你的损失了
All right, but if some other investor comes along, it's your loss.
一墨西哥富豪打来了 抱歉
A Mexican billionaire's calling me right now.Excuse me.
墨西哥大佬 恩 恩 我是Donald
Senior Mexico, uh, si si. Yo soy Donald, si.
好好好? 成成成?
Andale'andale? Arriba arriba?
墨西哥大佬说什么呀?
What is senior Mexico saying?
别把我蒙在鼓里啊!
Stop keeping me out of the loop!
我为喜剧狂 第五季 第9集
嘿 Jenna 我们要再来一遍-
Hey, Jenna, I need to go over...
呀! - 什么事啊 Liz? 我们忙着勒
Snuh! - What is it, Liz? We're busy.
我和Jenna在演对方的镜子 直到我们感应到高♥潮♥为止
Jenna and I are mirroring until we achieve touchless orgasm.
完事啦
And... finished.
我得去上班了
Well, I have to go to work.
新主管让我们每个人都得戴工作证
My new Manager is making us wear nametags.
我也只能在一家旱冰异装癖餐厅 的塔♥利♥班♥政策下委曲求全
I might as well be working at a roller-skating drag queen restaurant under Taliban rule.
但是你下班之后 我们还来那个特别之夜吗?
But after your shift, we still have our special night, right?
你绝对想象不到有多特别
You have no idea how special.
我们要庆祝我们六个月纪念日
Oh. We're celebrating our six-month anniversary
我想Paul会向我提出请求了
and I think Paul is going to pop the question.
真的? 有点仓促了 不是吗?
Really? That's a little fast, isn't it?
我一定会答应的 当Paul提议...
I will say yes when Paul proposes...
我们拍一段性♥爱♥录像放到网上的时候
That we make a sex tape and leak it on the Internet.
哦 我还以为你说求婚
Oh, I thought you meant marriage.
当然不是! 婚姻是爱情的坟墓
God, no. Marriage is like death.
如果一切都成为了习惯 两人之间就没有火花了
You settle into a routine. You lose all the spark.
我没心得 我一直以为两个人长时间在一起
I don't know. I always thought the whole point of being with someone for a long time
就是为了培养默契 形成习惯
is to get to the comfortable routine part.
不 爱情就像鲨鱼 Liz
No. Relationships are like sharks, Liz.
如果你们做♥爱♥后身上没留下爱的伤痕
If you're not left with several bite marks after intercourse,
那就说明事情不对劲了
then something's wrong.
我和Carol挺好的啊
Well, nothing's wrong with me and Carol.
我是说 我们五天没说话了 但那也不能说明什么
I mean, we haven't spoken in five days,but that doesn't mean anything
因为我们不是鲨鱼
because we are not sharks.
我们是瘸腿的乌龟 在沙滩上腐烂
We are legless turtles rotting on the beach.
Jack 什么状况会让男人在热恋期 就提不起兴趣了?
Jack, what makes a guy get bored in a dating situation?
真是个好问题 答案就是 像这样的问题
That's an excellent question. The answer is questions like that.
异地恋真的太难了
Look, this long distance is hard.
Carol和我都有五天没说话了
And now Carol and I haven't talked in, like, five days
我的那个问题 也没解决
and my other stuff is still unresolved.
我懂了 Lemon 你得去看心理医生
I get it, Lemon. You need to see a therapist.
你可以把烦恼都抛给他 然后继续自己的"人生"
Someone you can dump your problems on and then get on with your, uh, "life."
我试过 但是找不到好医生
Ugh. I'm trying. I just can't find someone I like.
我是说 你去看过心理医生吗?
I mean, have you ever been to a shrink?
没有 我有问题都和神父讲
No. I believe that when you have a problem,you talk it over with your priest,
或者裁缝 或者男士俱乐部里被静音的保安
or your tailor, or the mute elevator Porter at your men's club.
然后用脑中的意念将问题粉碎
Then you take that problem and crush it with your mind vice.
但对于卷发男人或者四眼仔这样的 低等生物
But for lesser beings like curly-haired men and people who need glasses,
心理医生还是有用滴
therapy can help.
Lemon 我真心希望你好起来
And, Lemon, I want you to get better
因为 -我说这话是真心的-
because... and I mean this...
和一个我不愿意上的女人说这么多真累
I'm tired of talking this much to a woman I'm not having sex with.
嘿 Jack 欢迎光临Staples
Hey, Jack. Welcome to staples.
你啥取这名字?
Why did you choose that name?
因为Staples意思是"最重要的"
Because staples means "the basics."
而我们就提供这个
And that's what you're getting here.
吃喝玩乐 尽在Staples 耶 懂了吧
Food, drinks, fun. Staples. Yeah, we got that.
Staples也是一家办公用品巨头啊
Staples is also a giant office supply chain.
好吧 我们看谁200年后还在营业 快进来吧
Well, we'll see who's still in business 200 years from now.Come on.
Donald 我就随便讲个问题先
Donald, I'm going to pick a problem at random.
你餐厅的主题是"座位不够"?
Is the theme of your restaurant "not enough tables"?
不是 我们要腾点空间给怪兽搏击
No. We just need a lot of room for the monster fight.
什么?
Excuse me?
Jack 你听说过中世纪的巨型餐厅没?
Jack, are you familiar with the megarestaurant medieval times?
我们就用这个点子 只是把骑士换成
Well, I took that model and replaced the knights
现在这个还没有注册的日本怪兽版本
with unlicensed versions of Japanese monsters.
女士们 先生们
Ladies and gentlemen,
一场水底世界的核爆♥炸♥后
there's been an underwater nuclear explosion.
一头怪兽苏醒了
A beast has been awakened.
它迈着令人害怕的步伐走近了
It approaches with fearsome steps.
砰 砰 砰
Boom boom boom.
我们即将为对待科学的傲慢付出代价吗?
Are we paying the price for our hubris of science?
看 这庞然大物就是Godzila
Witness the primeval might that is godzila
涉及商标的原因 少个字母"l" （哥斯拉Godzilla ）
with one "l" for trademark reasons.
哦 大家都要没命啦!
Oh, no one is safe!
有谁会来拯救我们?
Who all is going to protect us?
答案是Mechagodzila
It's mechagodzila.
砰 砰 砰
Boom boom boom.
感谢来到Staples
Thank you for choosing staples.
啊! Donald George在我裤裆处来了一下
Ah! Donald, George punched my crotch.
你自找的
You liked it.
我的神啊
Oh, my god.
Burnett机长早先有打来 Lemon小姐
Captain Burnett called earlier, miss Lemon.
总算来了 不过没关系 我们是海龟嘛
Finally. Not that it matters.We're turtles.
他说他在Daytona海滩市停留 所以手♥机♥没有信♥号♥♥
He said he doesn't have cell phone service 'cause he's on layover in Daytona beach.
但让你别担心 他很好 现在正和机组人员逍遥呢
But don't worry, he's fine and having a great time with his flight crew.
有那个Stewart Brenda Amber Crystal
Uh, Stewart, Brenda, Amber, crystal.
我在背景杂音里 听到了有姑娘在咯咯笑
Also in the background, I heard lady giggles
还有那美丽的日落一幕
and the sound of a beautiful sunset.
瞧 这就是为啥我得找人聊聊
See, this is why I need to find someone to talk to.
聊点啥? - 男人还有信任问题
Talk to about what? - Men. Trust.
我就是有时候感到男人对我不完全诚实
I mean, I just feel like sometimes men aren't totally honest with me.
继续说
Hmm. Go on.
首先 我在高中约会过的每个人
Well, for starters,everyone I ever dated in high school
要么结果是个基佬 要么是为了新闻业奖学金打扮成男人的姑娘
turned out to be either gay or a girl dressed as a guy to get a journalism scholarship.
我自己的老爸还尝试背着妈妈出轨
My own dad tried to secretly cheat on my mom.
我原本以为他们的婚姻是完美的
And I thought their marriage was perfect.
当然 还有圣诞老人那件事
Then, of course, there's Santa claus.
好吧 说说看
Okay. Talk about that.
我那时七岁 想要一只民用波段的 无线电对讲机作为圣诞礼物
When I was seven, I asked for a cb radio for Christmas
当时我想用它来了解汽油价格 那样我就可以搞张图表
so I could track gas prices around the state for a cool chart that I was making.
这点我们稍后再聊
We'll get back to that later.
我并没有如愿 我爸爸怪罪给圣诞老人
When I didn't get it, my dad blamed Santa claus.
那天起 圣诞老人就多了一个仇家
Well, Santa made an enemy that day.
过了一年 当他回到Schuylkill购物中心时
And the next year when he returned to the schuylkill galleria,
复仇者也跟着到了
so did vengeance.
今年我能给你什么礼物呢? - 还有必要吗?
Ho ho ho. What can Santa bring you this year?- What does it matter?
你去年就没有给我想要的 你个胖骗子
我为喜剧狂（2006）
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