我为喜剧狂（2006）
30 Rock S05E02
Part 3
June 7, 2022, 4:04 p.m.
给我打住 知道吗?
stop right there. Guess what.
别人也会给信件分类
Other people can figure out how to sort the mail
会接电♥话♥... 我们不需要你
and answer the phones... We don't need you.
所以现在开始 放手吧 别纠结了
So move on with your life, starting now.
这招叫做 严厉的爱
That is called tough love.
Kenneth最后要么回到这里
Kenneth is now on a journey that will either return him here
这片属于他的地方...
where he belongs or end...
要么就是已经走上黄泉路了
In his death.
杂耍比看上去要简单
Juggling is easier than it looks.
不 是真的 他们正在那啥呢
No. It is true. They're doing it.
现在我们有幸可以现场直播
And we have this just in to us.
Ritchie和Liz上了树
Ritchie and Liz spotted in tree.
有目击者看到他们在搞亲亲
Eyewitnesses report k-i-s-s-i-n-g.
欲知后事 请看NBC的Andrea Mitchell为您带来的节目
For more, let's go to NBC's Andrea Mitchell.
谢谢你 Brian
Thank you, Brian.
荡♥妇♥
Slut.
你以为你是谁?
Who do you think you are?
我是Ritchie Tamuto
Ritchie Tamuto,
纽约岛人队的粉丝 角色扮演中的奴隶主
islanders fan and role-playing slave owner.
我知道你一直在背后怎么说我...
I know what you've been saying about me...
说我们上♥床♥了?
That we're sleeping together?
知道吗 Ritchie?
You know what, Ritchie?
我已经有对象了
I'm actually seeing someone right now,
而他不经常在我身边 因为他是飞行员
and he's never around, 'cause he's a pilot.
他叫Carol - 听起来很假
His name is Carol. - That sounds really fake.
我知道
I know how it sounds.
而且Carol是我对你友善的唯一原因
And Carol is the reason I was nice to you,
因为我活了这么长时间 第一次发觉对人友善还不错
because for once in my life, I felt like being nice.
我不管你要对我的节目做什么手脚
Well, I don't care how you punish my show.
一切到此为止 我要收回我的拥抱
It's over. I take my hug back.
不 Liz 我不想这样做的
No, I-Liz, that is not why I did it.
"真的咩"? 我想问"真的吗" 口误 继续
Oh, "reallo"? I meant to say "really". I misspoke. Continue.
过来 过来 过来
Come here, come here, come here.
Liz 你听说过这句话吗
Liz, are you familiar with the phrase
"好事成双 祸不单行"?
"when it rains, it pours"?
我不经常和女人接触
I don't meet a lot of women.
现在 我开始幻想通过曲棍球夏令营
Now, I started doing fantasy hockey camp
还有演绎内战重现来约见女孩子
and civil war re-creationism to meet girls.
但我不知道她们都去哪里了
But I don't know where they are.
所以...是的
So... yes.
当你对我示好的时候 我利用了这个机会
When you were nice to me, I took advantage of it
来吸引另外一个人的注意
to try to make someone else notice.
谁?
Who?
我的助理编辑...
My assistant editor...
Donna
Donna.
七年了
Oh, for seven years,
我坐得离她那么近 触手可及...
I've been sitting close enough to touch her...
但她却冷若冰霜
But a million miles away.
对于我对你的所作所为 我很抱歉
I am really sorry that I did what I did.
但我爱的是她
But it's just that I am in love with her.
爱她至死不渝
I love her so much.
Donna!
Oh, Donna!
Donna Straunk!
Donna Straunk!
好吧 我跟你做比交易成全你
All right, I'll make you a deal.
这么多回忆
So many memories.
喂 Parcell和黑户之家
Hello. Parcell and a squatter's residence.
Tracy Jordan死哪儿去了!
Where the hell is Tracy Jordan!
Jordan夫人? 我不知...
Mrs. Jordan? Oh, I don't...
我现在嗑多了药 已经神志不清了
I'm out of my mind on a lot of drugs right now.
生孩子的时候嗑药?
Drugs during childbirth?
难道不是为了体验上帝惩罚你的感觉吗?
Isn't the whole point feeling god punish you?
如果那个男人不过来陪我 那我就休了他!
If that man is not here for this, it is over!
听到了没?
You hear me?
旋转餐桌(直译 懒Susan) 是Thomas Jefferson发明的 (杰斐逊 美国总统(1801-1809))
The lazy Susan was invented by Thomas Jefferson.
我知道 因为我就是懒Susan 和Jefferson的后代
I know, 'cause I'm a descendant of Thomas Jefferson and lazy Susan herself!
阿♥拉♥伯联合酋长国的首府 是阿布扎比
The capital of the United Arab Emirates is Abu Dhabi.
我知道 因为我一旦再去那里 就会被处死
I know that, because if I go back there, I'll be executed.
半音音阶里有十二个音调
There are 12 tones in the chromatic scale.
我知道 是因为我是个音乐天才
♪ I know that because I'm a musical genius ♪
揍人是这么揍的 - 等一下... 什么?
This is how you throw a punch. - Wait... what?
"而树也过上了幸福的生活" (选自"爱心树")
"And the tree was happy."
Shel Silverstein是个共♥产♥党 (上书的作者)
Shel Silverstein was a communist.
这是伪装的奥妙
And that... Is the art of camouflage.
和女人做♥爱♥是这样子的
And this is how you make love to a woman.
使劲 Angie 使劲!
Pull, Angie, pull!
我知道你不会让我失望的 宝贝
I knew you wouldn't let me down, baby.
当然不会 女人
Of course not, woman.
我是你丈夫 - 我擦!
I'm your husband. - Damn it!
我要去充填能量了
I got to go feed the meter.
Ritchie
Oh, hey, Ritchie.
这周末我们还去那个音乐会吗?
Are we still on for the music concert this weekend?
Liz 我们得谈谈... 关于我们的事
Liz, we need to talk... About us.
Liz 我们在一起很快乐 - 分手? 为什么?
Liz, we've had a lot of fun. - End it? Why?
但是我要和你分手 - 分手? 为什么? 你不在我身边
But I need to end it. - End it? Why?
谁来满足我饥渴的欲望... 然后还有?
Without you around, who's gonna satisfy my sex needs... and then some?
Liz... 你会找到合适的
Oh, Liz... You'll find someone.
不 不会的 不会再有你这样的
No, I won't, not someone like you.
还能有几个男人会有一辆丰田雄鹰车
How many guys out there have a fully loaded Toyota tercel
以及一个真正的弹球游戏机?
or a real pinball machine?
还能有几个男人去过加拿大...
How many guys have been to Canada...
还是两次?
Twice?
你这样对我是不是因为 我不能像你一样热爱独角兽?
Are you doing this to me because I don't share your love of unicorns?
Liz 别责怪自己 是我不好
Oh, Liz, don't blame yourself. It's my fault.
但愿来生有缘吧 老姐
See you in another life, kiddo.
我想会有其他女人有幸享受你那
I guess some other woman will get to enjoy that water bed
攒钱很久买♥♥的水床
that you're saving up for.
想什么呢 Ritchie?
What's up, Ritchie?
恭喜你 我们到了 Tracy 你成功了!
Congratulations. We're here, Tracy.
Tracy Jordan...英雄 丈夫 糖尿病患者/酒鬼! 就是我!
You made it! - Tracy Jordan... hero, husband, diabetic/alcoholic!
等一下 我来给你开门
Hold on. Let me unlock it for ya.
我没拉错地方吧?
Am I pulling it right?
松开把手 - 好的
Just let go of the handle. - Okay.
还是打不开 - 别拉了
It's still not opening. - Stop pulling it.
我正在拉 你一直在说"拉"
I'm trying to pull. You keep saying "pull".
Tracy 如果你继续在拉
Tracy, if you're pulling on it
我这还在摁着按钮... - 你想让我怎样?
while I'm hitting the button... - What do you want me to do?
朝我大吼没有用的!
Yelling at me ain't gonna make it better!
别拉了! - 我要疯了!
Stop pulling on it! - I'm freaking out!
我的神哪! 究竟怎么回事啊?
Good god! What's wrong with it?
位置反了 我的失误
Oh, it's upside down. My bad.
Angie 你做到了
Well, Angie, you did it.
我们做到了 我在这陪伴你...
We did it. I was here for you...
因为我爱你 宝贝
'Cause I love you, baby.
不管探索频道有怎样的节目阻拦我
And I will always be by your side
我都会一直在你身边
no matter what discovery channel game show stands in my way.
不管因为什么 我都不会错过这里发生的一切
I wouldn't have missed whatever just happened here for anything.
我不知道没有你该怎么办
I don't know what I'd do without you.
这句话字字真心
And I mean it.
为什么婴儿的身上到处黏糊糊的?
Why's that baby covered with goop?
因为关于这档子事的一切都很恶心
'Cause everything about this is disgusting.
随着你成长的每一步
As you go through life,
我会通过这些录像带一直陪伴着你
I will always be here for you through these tapes.
同时我也给天主教会捐了很大一笔钱
Also, I have given a great deal of money to the catholic church
确保我会在天堂可以呼风唤雨...
and have been assured that I will have certain powers in heaven...
比如说通过动物来传递信息
Sending messages through animals, for instance.
如果遇到我没有提及的特殊情况
In the unlikely event that you encounter something that is not covered here,
请找一个叫Elizabeth Lemon的女人
find a woman named Elizabeth Lemon,
征求她的意见 然后反其道行之
get her advice, and then do the opposite.
Donaghy先生 我很抱歉 但是你错了
Mr. Donaghy, I am sorry, but you are wrong, sir.
这里需要我...
I am needed here...
我为喜剧狂（2006）
30 Rock
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