白金狂人（2017）

Hang on a second, Walshy,
等等 Walshy
frankly I can't believe what I'm hearing.
我真不敢相信自己的耳朵
Having a company car is a basic human right.
有辆公♥司♥专车是基本人♥权♥
Stop being an arse, Vincent.
别像个混球似的 Vincent
No double glazing salesman has ever had a company car.
从来没有哪个双层玻璃推销员还有公♥司♥专车开的
Which is exactly why I think I deserve one.
就因为这样我才认为我应该有一辆
You are delusional, mate. You're having a tin bath!
你有妄想症吧 你是在搞笑吗
Not by my lights.
我不觉得搞笑
Do you know how much business I've brought in these past three months?
你知不知道过去三个月我给公♥司♥带来了多少生意
You know, the problem with you is you've formed your own fan club.
你的问题就在于 你给自己建了一个粉丝会
The Vincent Swan fan club. Membership one, Vincent Swan.
Vincent Swan粉丝会 头号♥粉丝 Vincent Swan
You. Were you up all night working on that line,
你自己 你是不是一宿没睡就在想这句台词呢
you smart arse prick?
你个自作聪明的混球
284 grand is the answer.
答案是284000镑
You aren't getting a fucking company car! End of!
你♥他♥妈♥不会有公♥司♥专车开的 别想了
Well, you've left me with no other choice than to resign, Walshy.
你这样让我除了辞职以外别无选择了 Walshy
You think I'm bothered? Resign then.
你觉得我会在乎吗 辞职呗
I'll have 50 mugs lined up to do your job by lunchtime.
午饭前就会有50个蠢货排着队等着干♥你♥的工作了
Good luck with that. You'd better hire them all to replace the money I bring in,
祝你好运 你最好把他们都雇了来凑齐我给你赚的钱
you short-sighted wanker.
你个目光短浅的撸逼
Every man has his line in the sand and that prick Walshy
每个人都有自己的底线 而那个混球Walshy
just took a piss all over mine.
刚刚尿湿了我的底线
It's always been a dream of mine to have a company car.
有辆公♥司♥专车一直是我的梦想
Ever since yesterday lunchtime.
自从昨天的午餐时间开始
I go round the back,
我绕到后面
knock on his dressing room and say, "Listen..."
敲了敲他的更衣室门然后说 "听着"
Who the fuck are these clowns?
这些小丑都他妈谁啊
"..You've got no face, and you've got fucking bollocks for hands.
"你没有脸 你的手长得像蛋蛋似的"
"Other than that you do pretty well."
"除了这些以外你别的都还不错"
My dearest Suzanne.
我最亲爱的Suzanne
While I accept you have to serve other men,
虽然我能接受你需要为别的男人服务
you could at least try and pretend you're not enjoying it.
但至少你可以试着假装你并不享受其中啊
Martin, this is Vincent Swan, local wind-up merchant.
Martin 这是Vincent Swan 本地的捣蛋鬼
Runs Cachet Windows in the high street.
管着高街上的金牌窗业
Likes to pretend he runs this place as well.
喜欢假装这家店也是他开的
How are you doing, mate?
你怎么样 伙计
Yeah good, mate. Good.
不错 伙计 我挺好
Martin works in magazine publishing. Very glamorous, eh?
Martin是做杂♥志♥出版的 特别光鲜 是不
I hope they're not porn mags, Martin. Ha, no.
我希望不是色情杂♥志♥ Martin 哈 不是
You'd be hard pushed to knock one out over one of our magazines.
你想对着我们的杂♥志♥来一发可能有点困难
They're trade publications.
都是些商业出版物
You know, Ventilation Units Weekly,
什么 通风系统周刊
Roofing Supply Monthly, that sort of thing.
屋顶材料月刊之类的
Fuck me, they sound about as boring as that suit you're wearing.
我擦 听起来跟你穿的西服一样无聊
There's no need for that. It's just a joke.
你没必要这样说吧 开玩笑而已
I'll tell you what's not boring, my old son.
你告诉你什么不无聊吧 孩子
The amount of money we're making selling advertising space.
我们卖♥♥杂♥志♥广♥告♥页赚的钱
Now, what are you boys drinking? Nah, let me get these.
你们喝点什么 别 让我来
Absolutely not. I insist. We're already running a tab.
千万别 我坚持请客 我们已经在记账了
I'll just claim it back on the old expenses. What's your poison?
我之后会公♥款♥报销的 你喝什么
I'm not fussed. Whatever you're having.
我随便 你们在喝的都行
Lovely lager. Same for you, boyses? Cheers.
贮藏啤酒 你们也一样吗 谢谢
You get an expense account?
你们有公♥款♥账户
We spend half our lives on the road, wining and dining clients,
我们大部分时间都在路上 请客人吃喝
so the old company car and expense account comes in handy.
所以有公♥司♥专车和公♥款♥账户挺方便
Although it's not always easy getting a receipt
虽然管曼彻斯特的妓院要收据
from a knocking shop in Manchester, is it, Mart?
并不是很容易 是吧 Mart
No, it is not, Philip.
是的 是不容易 Philip
But it did save me from having to fellate the client myself.
但是那地方让我不用亲自给客人口♥交♥
Here you go, boyses. Winner.
来吧小伙子们 好家伙
Winner.
好家伙
Winner.
好家伙
Nice meeting you, boyses.
见到你们很高兴 小伙子们
If you ever fancy leaving the lucrative world of door to door sales,
如果你们什么时候想离开这份美差不再挨家挨户推销
give us a call.
打电♥话♥给我们
We're always on the lookout for new blood at Millman Young.
密尔曼杨公♥司♥一直在寻找新鲜的血液
Who do we ask for? Yeah, I wasn't talking to you.
打电♥话♥的时候找谁呢 我没跟你说话
What sort of company car do you get? Ford Granada, XL.
你们的车是什么车 福特千里马 加长款
Oh, right. A cousin of mine used to rep for a stationary firm.
对了 我有个表亲以前在一个文具公♥司♥做销♥售♥
He got given a Granada, and we're talking a couple of years ago
他公♥司♥就给了他辆千里马 而且我说的可是几年前
before they gave them to any old wanker.
那时候还没人随便就给个混♥蛋♥一辆千里马
Anyway, the first night he gets his new wheels
总之 在他拿到新车的第一晚
he decides to go for a spot of night fishing.
他决定去一个地方夜钓
Being a cheapskate, he won't shell out on luminous floats,
作为一个吝啬鬼 他没有买♥♥夜光浮漂
so he just drives the car up to the lake,
所以他把车开到湖边
beams the headlights onto the water and...
把车灯照在水面上然后
Right, gentlemen, we should probably be making a move.
好了先生们 我们差不多该走了
Who's this little prick? Sorry what?
这个小混球是谁 对不起你说什么
Vincent, this is Andrew, our sales director.
Vincent 这是Andrew 我们的销♥售♥总监
Andrew, Vincent Swan, local raconteur.
Andrew 这是Vincent Swan 本地讲故事的行家
Time to get back to the phones, lads.
该回去接电♥话♥了 小伙子们
Obviously, they didn't teach you manners at whatever school
很显然 不管你是从哪个学校逃课出来的
you've just bunked off from.
那学校都没有教你礼貌
Do your parents know you're hanging out in pubs?
你♥爸♥妈知道你在酒吧鬼混吗
Yes, very funny. I'm clearly not a child.
非常搞笑 很明显我不是小孩子
OK, that's us. Nice meeting you, boyses.
好了就这样吧 很高兴认识你们小伙儿们
Hang on, I haven't finished my story.
等等 我的故事还没讲完呢
Oh, come on then, let's all hear the end of your story.
行啊 让我们都听听你的故事吧
Well, he'd parked the car on a bank with the handbrake off.
他把车停在湖边 没有拉手刹
It rolled straight into the lake.
车滑进湖里了
That sounds very unlikely. Right, are we done?
听起来不太可能 好吧 讲完了吗
Hardly Peter Ustinov, is he?
并没有Peter Ustinov的口才 是吧
Don't expect to see him on Parkinson anytime soon
肯定不会在Parkinson节目上看到他
Brash fuckers. "Oh, look at me, I don't own my own car."
傲慢的傻♥逼♥们 "噢 看看我 我没有自己的车"
"I drive someone else's car, like a bloody bus driver."
"我开着别人的车 像个公交车司机一样"
Why was that little one so grumpy?
为什么那个小个子那么爱生气
He's one of the Seven Dwarves, isn't he?
爱生气就是七个小矮人之一 不是吗
Fitzpatrick was right. They were brash fuckers.
Fitzpatrick说得对 他们就是傲慢的傻♥逼♥
Which is why I was confident I'd fit right in there.
这就是为什么我认为我可以完全融入他们
Right, no need to panic.
行了 不必惊慌
Brian, you're temporary showroom manager.
Brian 你暂时来当展销厅经理
Yes! I won't let you down, boss. It is an honour.
太好了 我不会让你失望的 老板 太荣幸了
You fucking kidding me? It's only temporary.
你♥他♥妈♥逗我吗 只是暂时而已
But why him? Because he actually sells my bloody windows!
但是为什么是他 因为他能卖♥♥得出去这他妈的窗户
If you want to be considered for the role
要是你想要他的职位
then get out there and sign me some fucking orders!
那就出去给我他妈拉点订单来
Ouch. Can I just say that firing Vincent was a smart move.
真狠 我能说炒掉Vincent是正确的决定吗
I don't want to speak ill of the recently departed
我不想说刚走的人的坏话
but that man was a liability.
但是那人是个累赘
I'm going to have to ring some serious changes round here
我得在这好好做点变动了
if we're going to be competitive again.
让我们公♥司♥重新变得有竞争力
Look, until I get the chance to meet some potential new recruits,
听着 在我有机会跟潜在的新雇员见面之前
I just need you to steady the ship
我只需要你保持局势稳定
and not fuck anything up, Brian.
不要搞砸任何事 Brian
Understood, boss.
明白了 老板
Still, in the meantime,
还有啊 同时
there's no harm me showing you how we get things done
我让你见识见识Fitzpatrick是怎么做事的
the Fitzpatrick way.
也没什么不妥
You obviously are aware the name Fitzpatrick
你肯定知道Fitzpatrick这个名字
is synonymous with fucking things up.
就是"把事情搞砸"的同义词吧
Yeah, well, unless you want it to be "Synonymous" with getting the sack,
除非你想让它变成"被炒鱿鱼"的"同义词"
I suggest you start showing your new boss some respect.
我建议你可以对你的新上司表现一点尊重
OK. One, you're not my new boss, you're just a temporary manager.
好吧 第一 你不是我的新上司 你只是个临时经理
Two, respect is earned, mate, not demanded, and three...
第二 尊重是赢来的 兄弟 不是命令来的 还有第三
you haven't got the balls to sack me.
你没有炒我鱿鱼的胆子
Yeah? Well I'll see your... and I'll raise you.
是吗 那咱么就赌一把 我可比你厉害着呢
Oh, I'm not going to fire you, mate,
我不会炒掉你的 伙计
I've got something much, much worse in store for you.
我可给你准备好了更糟 更遭的事情
No, I'm going to be your mentor,
我要成为你的导师
I'll be Yoda to your Luke Skywalker.
我要当尤达大♥师♥ 你就是卢克天行者