白金狂人（2017）

It turns out that Fitzpatrick's home life was a living hell.
原来Fitzpatrick的家庭生活如同炼狱
He'd married his childhood sweetheart, Maureen, when he was 18
他十八岁和他的青梅竹马Maureen结了婚
but over the years she'd put on a tonne of weight
但是多年来她胖了不少
due to an underactive thyroid gland.
是甲状腺功能障碍引起的
This, combined with the realisation that she had to live with Fitzpatrick
这事 加上她意识到要和Fitzpatrick
for the rest of her miserable life
度过悲惨的余生
had made her clinically depressed and, lately, even physically abusive.
使她患了抑郁症 最近甚至出现肢体暴♥力♥
Why don't you just do everyone a big favour, yeah, and fuck off?!
为什么你不能行行好帮大家一个忙 直接滚蛋呢
Go on, fuck off!
走啊 滚蛋
Go on, fuck off down to the shed,you little sad bastard. Maureen!
走 滚到棚子里去 你个小杂种 Maureen
The neighbours! Your jumper's shit!
邻居们听着呢 你的套衫是狗屎
The closest thing he had to a social life was us
他唯一能称得上是社交生活的 就是我们
and the complete tools he befriended on CB radio.
还有他的好朋友 无线电全套工具
Breaker breaker, this is the Widow Maker.
插入 插入 这里是寡妇制♥造♥者
I can't leave her. I'm all she's got.
我不能离开她 她只剩我了
Man, that's rough.
兄弟 这的确太难了
I feel terrible now, Brian.
我现在感觉好糟 Brian
Can I give you a hand job at least, to say sorry?
我能不能至少给你打一次飞机 当作道歉
Jesus, Carol.
天啊 Carol
No, you're all right.
不 不怪你
Now it was awkward and weird.
现在既尴尬又怪异
To be perfectly honest with you,
实话跟你说
I'd actually forgotten he was married.
我都忘了他已经结婚了
And not solely because he'd barely uttered a word
而且不仅是因为自从我们认识以来
about Thyroid in the year I'd known him.
他鲜少提到甲状腺那事
It was more down to the fact that whenever
更多的是因为 不管什么时候
I laid on treats for the team,
只要我款待大家
he went at it like a man possessed.
他都跟疯了似的扑上去
Oh, yeah! Oh, Mummy.
噢 啊啊 噢 妈咪啊
Frankly it was off-putting for the rest of us
坦白说这让我们其他人很困扰
That's top quality.
真是极品啊
Oh, I'm going to sell even more fucking windows next week.
哦 下星期我要再卖♥♥上他妈的更多窗户
Anyway, after the CB awkwardness,
不管怎样 在无线电台尴尬事件后
I had to placate Fitzpatrick in the only way I knew how.
我只能用我知道的唯一方法 去安慰Fitzpatrick
Only this time he was exiled to conduct his nasty business
只是这次他被驱逐到一个单独的房♥间
behind closed doors.
去做那龌龊的事
In this instance, Walshy's office door.
具体呢 在Walshy的办公室
That's it.
就这样
It still sounded like someone was mating a gorilla upstairs,
这还是听起来像有人在楼上跟大猩猩交♥配♥
but that was a vast improvement
但这已经是巨大的进步了
on actually seeing his ratty little sex face.
比直接看到他做♥爱♥时那副老鼠样儿好太多了
Yeah, oh, woman. Big Brian needs woman. Oh, yeah!
啊 噢 女人 大Brian需要女人 噢 对
Unfortunately this venue change for Fitzpatrick's depravity
不幸的是 这次Fitzpatrick放荡场所的转移
didn't go unnoticed.
并非无人发现
Vincent, you cunt!
Vincent 你个蠢逼
You're not going to... Get up here!
你不要 滚上来
Just excuse me one minute.
请稍等我一分钟
You disgusting pig, Vincent!
你这头恶心的种猪 Vincent
I've got a meeting in 20 minutes.
20分钟后我还有会要开
I've got a bum stain on my desk
但现在我桌上有个屁♥股♥印
and a rubber Johnny in my fucking bin!
垃圾桶里还他妈有一个套套
Much like the derriere that left its mark on Walshy's desk,
跟在Walshy桌上留下印子的屁♥股♥一样
I didn't mind taking a pounding
我并不介意挨这一下
for the sake of Fitzpatrick's morale.
为了Fitzpatrick的士气
Whose bum is this, for Christ's sake?
看在老天的份上 这到底是谁的腚
Morning, homo sapiens. Emphasis on the homo.
早上好 智人们 注意我说的是"同智"
So unnecessary.
这有必要吗
Pretty soon Fitzpatrick was back to
很快Fitzpatrick就回到了
his cocky, old unpleasant self.
他那自大的讨厌鬼的形象
Now that's what you call man management.
这可就是所谓的人力管理
And seeing as I'd already taken a bollocking for the misuse of Walshy's office,
既然我因乱用Walshy的办公室而错挨了一顿骂
I figured I might as well commit the crime.
我想我倒不如坐实了这罪名
Come here, you.
过来 宝贝
I do hope you're going to brush your teeth
我希望你待会刷完牙后
before you teach my second born.
再去教我小儿子
You're unbelievable. Do you talk like that to Sam?
你真是不可理喻 你也这样和Sam说话吗
OK, let's get one thing straight. You don't mention her name.
我们把一件事拎清楚 你不许提她的名字
What, so you can make jokes about me teaching Robbie
怎么 所以你能拿我教Robbie打趣
but she's off limits?
讲她就不行
It's only been 20 seconds since my dick was inside you.
20秒前我的屌♥还在你里面
It's too soon. Don't make a big fucking deal about it.
现在太早了 不要这样大惊小怪
Oh, so when is it acceptable to mention her, then?
哦 所以什么时候提起她 你能接受呢
I need some guidelines.
让我知道你的准则呗
Half an hour after a shag?
搞完半个小时
Ten minutes after a blowie?
吹过十分钟
Five for fingering?
指交后五分钟么
OK. I'm sorry for being touchy.
好吧 抱歉我反应过激了
Just... don't mention fingering. You know it turns me on.
只是 不要提起指交 我会性奋的
No, we can't, I'm late enough.
不 不能这样 我已经迟了
I've still got to prepare the classroom, and floss my teeth.
我得去布置教室 还需要剔剔牙
Oh. Hello, Miss Lyndsey.
噢 你好 Lyndsey小姐
Oh, hi, Mrs Swan.
噢 你好 Swan夫人
Shouldn't you be somewhere else?
你不应该在其他地方忙吗
Sports day training this afternoon, so I get a long lunch.
今天下午运动会训练 所以我午休时间很长
Having said that, I'd better dash.
话虽这么说 我也是时候回去了
Bye.
拜拜
Hello, gorgeous. What a lovely surprise.
嗨 美人 真是个令人愉快的惊喜
I want a word with you. Upstairs. Now.
我要和你谈谈 上楼 马上
Yeah?
好的
What's she doing here?
她在这干嘛呢
Getting her hair cut. What do you think?
剪头发 不然你以为呢
She wanted to speak to someone about windows.
当然是想找人谈一下窗户的事
On her lunch break?
在午休时间吗
It certainly beats dragging the whole class down here during lesson time.
那总比在上课时间把整个班都拖过来好吧
Don't get fucking smart with me, Vincent.
别他妈和我耍聪明 Vincent
I've already had Boring Anne from next door
隔壁无聊的邻居Anne
take great fucking pleasure in telling me
早就津津乐道地告诉过我
how she saw you two driving through town together.
她看见你们俩一起开车在镇上晃荡
And now this.
现在又是这出
You'd better not be screwing our son's schoolteacher.
你最好别是和我们儿子的老师搞在一起了
Jesus, Sam, calm down. I didn't even know you were being serious.
天哪 Sam 冷静点 我都不知道你对这事认真了
Of course I'm not fucking Robbie's teacher.
我当然不可能上Robbie的老师啊
If I find out you're lying to me...
如果让我发现你在撒谎
I'm not lying to you, baby.
我没有撒谎 宝贝
Look, I gave her a lift home from the musical. One time.
是这样 我在那次音乐剧后顺路搭她回家 就一次
She started telling me
她就一直和我讲
about how her mum wanted a new conservatory, I said pop in.
她妈妈想建一个新的玻璃暖房♥ 我就让她来看看
That was it. I was chasing a lead.
就这样 我这是占领先机
Well, just fucking think about how it looks
好吧 你♥他♥妈♥下次得先想想这像啥样
before you start gallivanting around town with our son's pretty, young teacher.
再去和我们儿子年轻漂亮的老师在城里闲逛吧
Miss Lyndsey, pretty?
Lyndsey小姐 漂亮吗
I hadn't noticed.
我都没注意呢
You're such an arsehole.
你真是个混♥蛋♥
Come here.
过来
One sec.
等一下
Yeah.
嗨
Vince, some bird's on the line.
Vince 有个姑娘打电♥话♥来
Says she's the editor of the local paper.
自称是当地报社的编辑
She wants to talk to you.
她想和你谈谈
You'd better stick her through.
那给她转接过来吧
Vincent Swan speaking.
我是Vincent Swan
Hello, Mr Swan?
你好 Swan先生
Please, call me Vincent.
叫我Vincent就好了
Now guess which handsome silver-tongued devil
猜猜是哪个英俊善辩的坏蛋
has just been shortlisted for a prestigious business award?
入围了一项著名的商界奖项
That's the editor of the Essex Chronicle on the phone
电♥话♥里是<埃塞克斯纪事报>的编辑
giving me the good news.
告诉了我这个好消息
In their infinite wisdom, her readers have nominated yours truly
她的读者们用他们无尽的智慧
as their Entrepreneur of the Year.
提名了本人作为年度企业家
I've always taken great pride in my rapport with my clients but this...
我对自己和客户所维持的良好关系向来十分自豪 但这个