白金狂人（2017）

You've lost me.
你把我搞糊涂了
I've just landed us the contract
我刚刚敲定了一份合同
for the refurbishment of the old people's home on Wickford Road.
是翻新威克福特街道的养老院
Fucking 42 windows and 12 doors.
一共有他妈的42个窗户和12个门
This old mate of mine from Chelmsford Grammar works for the council
我一个切姆斯福德文法学校的老朋友在市政厅工作
and he made sure the order came our way.
他能确保给我们出订单
Fuck me. That's incredible news.
我♥操♥ 这真难以置信
If this goes well
如果进展顺利
we could end up on the council's list of approved suppliers.
我们就可以被列为市政厅认可供应商啦
I'll go give Walshy the glad tidings.
我要去告诉Walshy这个好消息
Hold your horses.
且慢
Now, congrats on the Old Girls network coming through,
现在 首先祝贺你的老女孩交际圈的成功
but strictly speaking this is a commercial deal,
但严格意义上来说 这是一笔商业交易
and as such it has to go through the commercial sales arm.
所以就这点来说 它得通过商业销♥售♥部门这一环
What? What fucking commercial sales arm?!
什么 什么鬼商业销♥售♥部门
No-one's ever mentioned a commercial sales arm.
从来没人提起过商业销♥售♥部门
Vincent Swan, head of commercial sales at your service.
Vincent Swan 商业销♥售♥主管为您服务
Now, don't worry, I'll make sure you get a nice finders bonus.
现在 别担心 我保证你会得到一大笔提成奖金
I'd better go give Walshy the glad tidings.
我最好去告诉Walshy这个好消息
And look, mate, I'm sorry, I don't make the rules.
你瞧 朋友 真抱歉 规矩不是我定的
I know, I do make the rules.
我知道 规矩就是我定的
And that was a dick move. Even for me.
这样的做法真无♥耻♥ 即使对我来说
Walshy! Stop tugging on that pencil dick and prepare to be happy.
Walshy 别撸你的小鸡♥巴♥了 准备开心起来吧
Hello, Millman Young.
你好 密尔曼杨杂♥志♥
Hi, it's Sam Swan. I've got a meeting with Little Prick.
你好 我是Sam Swan 我约了小混球见面
I mean, Andrew Davis.
我是说 Andrew Davis
Sorry, was that Andrew Davis?
抱歉 是Andrew Davis吗
Yeah, Andrew Davis.
是的 Andrew Davis
Come in. OK.
请进 好的
Are you sure you should be here?
你确定你可以到这来吗
I told you, Vincent and I had a little sit down, cleared the air.
我说过了 Vincent和我之前小坐一次 解除了心结
Now take a seat, Carol.
现在坐下 Carol
In fact, Vincent practically begged me to come by
事实上 Vincent几乎是求我过来
and share with you my life-changing news.
和你们分享一个足以改变人生的消息
And I know you'll be amazed.
我知道你们会被惊艳到
Please be a sex change.
拜托一定得是性别转变
Actually, no, this is better.
事实上 并不是 还更好些
My name is Brian Fitzpatrick and I used to be morbidly obese.
我叫Brian Fitzpatrick 我从前是重度肥胖患者
No, you didn't. Can I just finish the presentation,
不 你不是 等我先结束讲解
I'll answer questions afterwards?
之后再回答问题 可以吗
I'm ashamed to say
我耻于告诉你们
that before you knew me I used to be a fat fuck,
在你们认识我以前 我曾是个死胖子
as you can see from this picture of me as a teenager.
正如你们可以从我这张青年时期的照片所见
Oh, my God! You've lost so much weight.
哦 我的天 你减了那么多
That's incredible!
真是难以置信
And grown a different face. That is incredible.
甚至脸都变了 真是难以置信
Can I have a closer look?
我可以再看仔细点吗
I think you'll find, Carol,
我想你会发现 Carol
that most of the Nature-Burn Community
大多数的天然燃脂使用人群
are unrecognisable once they lose the weight.
一旦减肥之后 就很难被认出
You see, it's thanks to Nature-Burn's supply of vitamin supplements and diet pills
你瞧 多亏了天然燃脂的维他补充剂和减肥丸
that I became the slender man I am today.
我才有了如今的苗条身材
And always have been.
并且一直保持如此
Well, look, here's a little advance on your commission.
哦 来 这是给你这次任务小小的奖励
That should keep the taxman off your back for a bit.
它能让纳税员离你稍微远一些
Well done to Cachet's Head Of Commercial Sales!
干得漂亮哇 金牌窗业商业销♥售♥主管
Who?
谁
What the fuck is going on, Brian?
这里他妈的发生了什么 Brian
Well, I just popped by to pick up a few things
哦 我就顺道拜访来收拾些杂物
and then the guys started peppering me with questions about my new business venture.
接着 这群人就开始缠着我问我的新生意
No, you said Vincent was begging you
不 你说是Vincent求着你
to tell us all about your life-changing news.
给我们讲你改变人生的消息的
I think what we need to focus on here
我想我们需要关注的一点
is that I have life-changing news.
就是我有一个改变人生的消息
I've had enough of this place.
我已经受够这里了
Hang on, I was just about tell you Nature-Burn's...
且慢 我正要告诉你天然燃脂的
Shove your diet pills up your arse.
把你的减肥丸塞进屁♥眼♥吧
Well, unfortunately Nature-Burn don't do suppositories,
哦 不幸的是天然燃脂目前没有研制栓剂
but soon as they do, I'll happily shove them up my arse.
不过等到有了 我会很高兴地把它们塞进我的屁♥眼♥
Martin, mate, hold up, let me buy you a pint.
Martin 朋友 等下 让我请你喝杯酒
So, these diet pills work then? How much you charging?
那么 这些减肥丸真的有效吗 怎么收费呢
30 pounds for a month's supply.
一个月是30镑
But I am running a one week's free trial to get people hooked...
但我提供一周的免费试用 让消费者上钩
I mean, to get them on the road to a healthier lifestyle.
我意思是 引导他们过上更健康的生活
I'm prepared to make that exclusive one-time offer
我准备独家一次性提供这些给你
exclusively to you, Tony.
只对你有哦 Tony
What about me?
那我呢
Well, I'm prepared to make that exclusive one-time offer
好吧 我也准备为你独家提供一次
exclusively to you as well, Carol.
也是你的专享体验 Carol
Oh.
噢
Thank you.
谢谢你
And one for you. We're celebrating.
这杯给你 我们来庆祝庆祝
Seriously, if you've just followed me here to wind me up...
说正经的 要是你跟着我到这儿就是为了耍我
No, it's not like that.
不 不是像这样的
I told you,
我告诉过你
I'm going to make sure you get your cut from this deal.
我是为了确保你从这笔买♥♥卖♥♥中获得提成
Just has to go through the right channels first.
只是首先得通过正确的途径
The right channel being your back pocket?
正确的途径就是给你回扣
No, mate, it's not like...
不 兄弟 这不像
You've got to be shitting me!
你♥他♥妈♥一定是在逗我
Congratulations, Sam.
恭喜了 Sam
If you thought going on a date
如果你认为你这样
with Essex's answer to Jimmy Krankie
和埃塞克斯版的Jimmy Krankie约会
would wind me up, you were right.
就能气到我 那你可没错
Now, now, Vincent. This isn't a date as such.
现在 Vincent 这不是一个约会什么的
I'm happy to say I've just hired Sam as my new PA
我很高兴地说我刚聘请Sam做我新的私人秘书
and this is a working lunch. We're talking about her new duties.
并且这是一顿工作餐 我们正在讨论她的新职责
Yeah, well, she doesn't need a fucking job
得了吧 她才不需要一份工作
so I suggest you look elsewhere!
所以我建议你另请高明
Er, pipe down, Tarzan.
冷静点 泰山
I'll be the one deciding if I need a job.
我才是那个决定自己是否需要一份工作的人
I can provide for my family, Sam.
我能养活这个家 Sam
Sorry about this, Andrew.
对不起 Andrew
I just need a minute, is that all right?
等我一会儿 好吗
If you're such a great fucking provider
如果你♥他♥妈♥真能养家
then why did the building society call to say
那为什么建房♥互助协会打电♥话♥来说
that we're behind on the mortgage? I'm sorting it.
我们没还上抵押贷款 我正在处理
Save me the bullshit, Vincent.
省省你那堆废话吧 Vincent
You're not capable of sorting anything right now.
你现在根本不能处理好任何事
So please fuck off
所以麻烦你快滚
before I lose the only source of income for my family.
别让我失去我们家唯一的家庭收入
Sorry about that.
真对不起
We are not skint. Give that to the fucking building society!
我们不是穷光蛋 把这钱给傻♥逼♥的建房♥互助协会
I think they might prefer a cheque or a standing order, old chap.
我想他们更想要支票或是自动转账 老弟
Try and save some of that money, yeah?
试着省点钱 行吗
You've got Robbie for the day tomorrow
你明天要去接Robbie
and you'll need to buy him something for his tea.
你得买♥♥点东西给他当茶点
Vincent? Yes, I know! I stole your deal, OK?
Vincent 行了 我知道 我抢了你的订单
But I also said I would see you right,
但我也说过我会关照你
like I have done these previous ten months while you've sold jack shit,
就像我在过去的十个月 你屁都卖♥♥不出去时那样做的
so please, stop fucking crying about it.
麻烦你 别他妈哭哭啼啼了
Here.
拿着
That husband of yours is tremendously entertaining.
你的丈夫真是非常有意思啊
Oi, shithead.
喂 傻♥逼♥
Those diet pills you're flogging.
你推销的那些减肥药
They're basically just speed, right?
它们只是苯♥丙♥胺♥ 对吗
No way. I don't care what Esther fucking Rantzen
才不是 我才不在乎Esther Rantzen
said on That's Life, these are bona fide health supplements,
在<生命之歌♥>里说的鬼话 这些是真材实料的健康片剂
not re-packaged Purple Hearts.
不是重新包装的兴♥奋♥剂♥
Well, I'm not buying any then.
好吧 那我就不买♥♥了