白金狂人（2017）

And the alien.
那个外星人也病了
And talking of illegal aliens,
说到非法的外来者
meet Brendan, our Irish fitter.
来认识下Brendan 我们的爱尔兰装配工
It turns out I wasn't the only Cachet boy
我发现我并不是金牌窗业唯一一个
looking to branch out into showbusiness.
考虑进军影视行业的员工
Martin, you've been to university,
Martin 你上过大学
you can work a camera, can't you?
你知道怎么用照相机 对吗
I need some photos done.
我需要拍一些照片
Yes, I can work a camera, Brendan,
当然 我知道怎么用照相机 Brendan
not because I've been to university.
跟我上没上过大学没关系
You just press the button on top.
你只需要按上面的那个按钮就行了
Will you take the fucking pics or not?
你♥他♥妈♥到底给我拍还是不拍
Yeah, yeah. Seeing as you're asking so nicely.
拍 当然拍 既然你这么礼貌地问了
What are we shooting?
你要拍什么
Donna, get your arse in here!
Donna 快到这儿来
I need somebody to take some topless shots of Donna
我需要有人来给Donna拍几张裸着上身的照片
for this Page 3 competition they're running in The Sun.
<太阳报>正在举♥行♥三版女郎比赛
500 quid first prize.
一等奖可以得到500镑奖金
Obviously, I'd do it if I weren't her Da.
显然 如果我不是她爸的话 这活我就来干了
Jesus, Brendan. How old is she? 16.
天哪 Brendan 她才多大 16岁
It was my birthday on Sunday.
我礼拜天才过的生日
Many happy returns, love.
生日快乐 亲爱的
Was it a toss up between getting some roller boots
给她买♥♥双溜冰鞋和拍裸照
or getting some tit shots done?
是个二选一的艰难抉择吗
No, she got her roller boots, too.
不是 她也收到溜冰鞋了
Right. I want no part in this.
好吧 我拒绝加入
Typical. I suppose Comrade Lenin didn't approve of tits?
又来了 我认为列♥宁♥同志不会喜欢露点照片的
I wouldn't know, I'm not a communist.
这我不知道 我不是共♥产♥主义者
I just think Page 3 is degrading to women.
我只是认为<太阳报>三版这种行为歧视女性
Course you do.
你当然这么觉得
That's the problem with these Trotsky types, Brendan.
这就是这些信奉托洛斯基主义的人的问题所在 Brendan
Dare to show a bit of entrepreneurial spirit
你敢向他们展示一点点冒险精神
and they want to piss all over your dreams
他们就把你的梦想批判一番
from their lofty moral high ground. It's not political.
还站在崇高的道德高地上 这跟政♥治♥没关系
I just don't particularly want to see Donna's or anyone's tits
我只是特不想看到Donna或者任何人的奶♥子♥
splashed across my newspaper.
出现在我报纸上的任何角落
Careful with that smart mouth of yours, boy.
你说话给我注意点 小子
I'll take the pictures, Brendan. Cheers. Here's the camera.
我来帮你拍吧 Brendan 谢了 相机给你
If you'd like to just follow me upstairs, Donna.
请跟我到楼上来 Donna
I'll be back in an hour, love.
我一个小时就回来 亲爱的
Don't be late cos I've got majorettes at six.
别回来晚了 我六点钟还要得去军乐队跳舞呢
There's something wrong with you.
你这人有毛病
Come on, loosen up a bit.
拜托 放松一点
Try and look a little less... dead eyed?
试着不要看上去那么 死鱼眼
It doesn't matter.
这些都无关紧要
I just want to get this over with and get my 500 quick.
我就只想赶紧把这事弄完 然后快点拿到500镑
Well, if you want to be in with a chance of winning the money
那好 如果你真的想有机会拿到那笔钱的话
we've got to get a shot
那我们就应该拍点
that doesn't look like it should come with a ransom note.
看上去不像被勒索绑♥架♥了那样的照片
Are you saying I might not get paid for this?
你是说我拍这个可能拿不到钱吗
It's a competition. Only the winner gets the money.
这是比赛 只有获胜者才能拿到钱
It's not Reader's Wives. I don't know what that is.
又不是<读者之妻> 我不知道那是什么
No, of course you don't.
你当然不知道
It's an erotic magazine where consenting adults send in nude photos.
那是一本色情杂♥志♥ 鼓励成年人投稿他们的裸照
A grot mag?
黄色杂♥志♥
Yes.
没错
And they get paid?
他们还有报酬
Yeah. 25 quid a shot... I've... someone... I've heard...
当然 25英镑一张照片 我有 朋友 我有听过
Lavender told me.
Lavender告诉我的
Well, let's just do that, then.
好 那我们就拍那种啊
Yeah all right, then, but don't tell your dad.
也行 但不能告诉你♥爸♥爸
That's better.
这样好多了
Meanwhile, hiding from the tax Nazi gave me the chance
同时 躲开那收税的纳粹让我能有机会
to score some brownie points with Sam and the kids.
去讨好一下Sam和孩子们
Hands up who thinks I'm the best daddy in the world?
谁认为我是世界上最好的老爸 请举手
Well, hands up who wants the day off school? Yep!
恩 谁想翘一天的课 请举手 想
That's better.
这样好多了
Right. The Swans are having a family day out.
没问题 Swan一家就来一天家庭旅行
I see they're thinking up new ways to make Page 3 even creepier.
我看他们是在想新办法 让第三版看起来更诡异
There's the latest.
这是最新版的
"Cute little Karen Clarke was a topless beauty at an early age
"可爱的小Karen Clarke早年就是个裸体美女了
But she's a big girl now all right, and every inch a lady."
但她现在是个大姑娘了 俨然成为了女人"
She sure is. What's wrong with that?
她肯定是啊 这有什么问题吗
Just everything possible, I suppose.
我想只是凡事都有可能
They've even lined up her two-year-old self
他们甚至对齐她两岁的照片
so she's looking directly at her 19-year-old breasts.
这样她就像在直勾勾地盯着她19岁的胸脯
Do you honestly think that's all right? Course.
你真心觉得这样没问题 当然
Look at little Karen there,
瞧瞧那小Karen
she looks pleased as punch she turned into such a stunner.
能变成这样的尤物 她看起来开心极了
Oh, hello, love. Just head upstairs, get yourself ready.
噢 亲爱的 上楼准备一下吧
Don't call me love.
不要叫我亲爱的
What are you up to? None of your beeswax.
你又在捣鼓什么 关你屁事
All right. Maybe I'd better ask Brendan when I see him.
好吧 也许看到Brendan的时候 我最好问一下他
All right. I'm just helping Donna make a little bit of extra pocket money.
好啦 我只是帮Donna多赚一点零花钱
If she's going to immortalise her bangers on celluloid,
既然她决定让她的巨♥乳♥在荧屏上不朽
she might as well get some mullah doing it, her words not mine,
不如就找绿绿们拍摄了 她说的 不是我
before you start labelling me "Sexist."
我得在你给我贴"性别歧视"标签前告诉你
Hello, Brian. Are we OK to leave the car out the front?
嘿 Brian 我们把车停在前门没问题吧
No, the warden round here's a Nazi.
不行 这里的管理人就像个纳粹
Just swing it round the back of the showroom.
把车绕到展销室后面去停
Who was that?
他们是谁呀
Those gentlemen are local artistes
那几个绅士是当地的艺术家
who've expressed an interest in honing their nude, still-life photography techniques.
他们对提高自己的人体及静物摄影技巧很有兴趣
They look like the sort of men we were warned
他们看起来就像那种别人警告过我们
not to speak to on the way home from school.
放学回家路上不能与之交谈的男人
As they're paying 200 quid for an hour's studio time,
当他们每小时付给我们200英镑的工作费时
me and Donna are more than happy to speak to them.
我和Donna倒十分乐意很他们说话
You just stay down here staring disapprovingly at tits.
你就待在下面 继续愤愤不平地盯着这对奶♥子♥吧
Now her genies were out the bottle,
现在她的精灵已经跳出了神灯
Donna wanted quick, easy money
Donna想要快速简单地赚钱
and Fitzpatrick was precisely the kind of degenerate to help her find it.
Fitzpatrick恰好就是帮她赚那种钱的败类
Elsewhere, the Swan family Beano was underway
另外 Swan家的家庭聚会已经开始了
and nothing says quality time like a visit to the spot where it all began.
没有东西比故地重游更适合家庭欢乐时间了
It's so creepy down here.
这里阴阴森森的
We're not lost, are we, Vincent?
我们没有迷路 对吧 Vincent
No one's lost. We're nearly there.
没有迷路啦 我们就快到了
Do you know what that is, kids? What are we looking at?
孩子们 你们知道那是什么吗 我们在看什么
More boring trees.
还是无趣的树
No, that's the spot where you were conceived.
不 那是你们妈妈怀上你们的地方
Jesus, Vincent. Right up against that big tree.
天哪 Vincent 就靠在那棵大树上
You actually think this is all right? Urgh.
你真觉得这样子做合适吗 嗯嗯
I want to go back to school. What's conceived mean?
我想回学校了 怀孕是什么意思
You're going to have to do much better than this, Vincent.
你得比这做得更好才行啊 Vincent
Ok.
没问题
Fitzpatrick's photography class
Fitzpatrick的摄影课
was soon exploring all the classical poses,
很快就涉及到到各种经典姿势
naughty school girl, sexy tennis player, slutty nurse.
淘气的学校女生 性感的网球运动员 放荡的护士
And while a picture paints a thousand words,
虽然照片能表达千言万语
turns out a video was gold dust.
但是视频才是压箱底的好货
Do you ever record these sessions?
你有录过这种视频吗
Come on, mate, don't take the piss. How much?
算了吧 老兄 别开这种玩笑 薪酬多少
Another 200 quid. Each.
另加200英镑 每次
Shit, really. You're both in?
操 说真的 你俩都答应
Donna? Yeah.
Donna 当然
All right wait here.
好吧 等一下
All right, look, it's got auto focus so all you need to do
看 这里有自动对焦 所以你只需要
is point and shoot.
瞄准然后拍摄
And then making copies is pretty easy.
复♥制♥也十分简单
You just put the master copy into one machine, press play.
你只要母带放到一台机器里面 按播放
Then take a blank tape and put it into the other machine
然后把空白带子放到另外一台机器