白金狂人（2017）

Excuse me...
有人在吗
Hello?
有人吗
Excuse me.
打扰一下
Excuse me. Are you the homeowner?
打扰了 你是房♥主吗
That depends. Depends on what exactly?
要看情况 什么情况
On whether you're here to tell me I've won the pools or not.
看你是不是来告诉我 我中了大奖这样的消息
Not quite. I'm looking for Mr Vincent Swan.
那倒不是 我是来找Vincent Swan先生的
Oh. I take it that's you?
噢 我猜就是你吧
No, sorry.
我不是 抱歉
And you are?
那你是
The gardener.
园丁
Well, if you could pass this on to Mr Swan and tell him that
好吧 那你能帮我把这个转交给Swan先生吗
Miss Barnes from Her Majesty's Inland Revenue stopped by
告诉他税务局的Barnes小姐过来拜访
to discuss his tax affairs.
想讨论一下他的税务状况
Will do. What's he done?
没问题 他做什么了
It's more what he's not done, really. As in pay any tax.
说他没做什么比较合适 比如说纳税
Hm.
嗯
Do many people on this council estate have private gardeners?
很多住这种公住房♥的人都有私家园艺师吗
No, I'm a luxury few can afford.
不 能负担这种奢侈消费的人不多
Tell Mr Swan I'll see him soon.
请转告Swan先生我会很快再来找他的
Oh, I will, sweetheart.
噢 我会的 甜心
"Nothing is certain in life but death and taxes."
"生活里没有什么是确定的 除了死亡和缴税"
You know who said that?
你知道这句话是谁说的吗
Some fucking loser.
某个该死的失败者
It's defeatist bullshit designed to make
这些失败主义的屁话就是
the feeble feel better about their tragic lives.
为了让弱者对他们悲剧生活感觉好一点
Death and taxes? I plan on avoiding both.
死亡和缴税 我打算把它们都逃避掉
Mm. You look handsome.
你看起来帅极了
And flammable. Have you got any cash?
还特易燃 你手头有现金吗
I need to pay for Robbie's school trip.
我得去付Robbie学校郊游的钱
Wallet's in my pocket.
钱包在我口袋里
Jacket pocket.
上衣口袋
It's all right, I think I've found what I've been missing.
没关系 我想我已经找到我一直想念的东西了
Sam, I don't have time.
Sam 我没有时间了
That's not what Mr Winky is telling me.
裤子里这位可不是这么说的
He seems very pleased to see me.
他好像很高兴见到我呢
Oh, that's not fair.
噢 这样不公平
I think it's more than fair, Vincent Swan.
我觉得不能更公平了 Vincent Swan
It's been ages since we've had any fun together.
我们已经好久没有一起找点乐子了
Oh, Jesus, that feels good.
噢 天哪 这感觉真好
All right, let me get out of these trousers, yeah?
好吧 让我把裤子脱了 好吗
No, no, no, you keep them on.
不 不 不 你穿着它
I want you like this, Mr Big Shot Salesman. In his suit...
我就要你现在这样 王牌销♥售♥员先生 穿着西装
Mm, let's close this deal, Vincent.
嗯 让我们完成这单交易吧 Vincent
It's business time... I'm on my knees,
交易时间到了 我跪着恳求你
begging for all of your product...
把你所有的产品都给我吧
That's it. Mm, close the deal. All over my fingers.
就是这样 完成交易 都弄在我手指上
That's it. Oh! There we go.
就这样 噢 这就对了
Mm.
嗯
Shit.
该死
I'm going to have to change now.
现在我还得换条裤子
Well, let that be a lesson to you.
就把这当成一个教训吧
And I swear I'll make you ruin every single pair of trousers in that wardrobe
我发誓我会像这样 弄脏你衣柜里的每一条裤子
until you give your family some proper attention.
除非你开始给你的家庭足够的关心
But Sam wasn't the only woman yanking my dick that particular morning.
但是Sam不是在这个早晨唯一找我麻烦(手交)的女人
You've got to be shitting me.
你肯定是在玩我
He'll probably be here in five minutes. Come in, wait inside.
他大概五分钟左右就到了 请进 在里面等吧
Pick up the phone, shitheads.
接电♥话♥啊 白♥痴♥们
He won't be long.
他很快就到了
No-one move, I'll get it.
你们别动 我来接
Cachet Windows and Doors. How may I help you?
金牌窗业 请问有什么可以帮您
Carol, this is Vincent. Listen. Don't talk.
Carol 我是Vincent 听着 别说话
That woman is from the tax office, she's after me.
那个女的是税务局的 她在找我
How'd you know that? Is this magic, like Paul Daniels?
你是怎么知道的 是在玩魔术吗 像Paul Daniels那种
Stop fucking talking. I'm over the road in the phone box.
你♥他♥妈♥别再说了 我就在街对面的电♥话♥亭里
Don't look.
别看
Jesus Christ!
该死
Oh, sorry, I'm very suggestible.
噢 不好意思 我特别容易受人影响
Look, I need you to calmly put the phone down and tell her
听着 我需要你平静地挂掉电♥话♥ 然后告诉她
I do not work there and you have never heard of me.
我不在这里工作 你从来没有听说过我这个人
I've never heard of Vincent Swan.
我从来没听说过Vincent Swan
So, why did you just invite me in
那你刚刚为什么邀请我进来
and say he'd be along in five minutes?
还说他五分钟左右就到
I thought you said...
我以为你说的是
Winston...
Winston
Ston.
Ston
Winston Ston?
Winston Ston
Ok.
好吧
Neither of you gentlemen would happen to be Vincent Swan?
你们其中一位不会碰巧就是Vincent Swan吧
No, sorry. Well, is either of you the business owner?
不是 抱歉 那你们有人是这里的老板吗
No, I just work here in sales.
我只是在这工作的销♥售♥人员
"Work" Is debatable. He sits there and looks pretty.
"工作"可能不太准确 他就只是坐着这里摆个样子
I'm the salesman. Pointless comment.
我是这里的销♥售♥ 毫无意义的补充
If you'd like to speak to Tony Walsh he's the business owner,
如果你想找我们的老板 他叫Tony Walsh
he's usually at the factory. Do you have the address handy?
他经常待在工厂 你们手头有那边的地址吗
Here's his card. Thank you,
这是他的名片 多谢
for being more than just a pretty face.
你不只是样子好看
Erm, thanks.
呃 谢谢了
If you do happen to run into Mr Swan
如果你们碰巧碰到Swan先生
please do let him know that I stopped by.
请转告他我来过了
Will do... I mean, I would do...if I could,
我会的 我是说 如果我能遇见的话
but I can't.
但是我不能
Cos I don't even know him and he's never worked here. Bye.
因为我根本不认识这人 而且他不在这里工作 再见
Lavatory couldn't wait to grass you up.
"厕所"迫不及待想把你供出去
Don't be a cock. I was trying to get her out of the showroom.
别这么混♥蛋♥ 我只是想让她离开展销厅
You and your student comrades might want to go and live in Russia
你和你的学生同志们也许想在俄♥罗♥斯♥生活
but, here, in the free West, we try not to inform on our pals.
但在这里 在自♥由♥的西方世界 我们不会出♥卖♥♥♥同伴
Brian, will you just give it a rest for two minutes
Brain 你能闭嘴消停个几分钟吗
while I try and figure out how to get this fucking bloodhound off my scent.
我正在想怎么才能让这条该死的追踪犬别再追着我跑了
Here's an idea, why don't you pay your tax like the rest of us?
我有个主意 为什么你不像我们大家一样交税呢
Because unlike you, I'm not a mug, mate.
因为和你们不同 我不是个傻♥逼♥ 朋友
Paying tax is like paying your TV licence fee,
交税和交有线电视费一个道理
you only ever do it when they catch you. Which she has done.
你只在他们抓到你的时候才交 她已经抓到你了
No, she's just knocked on my door. All I have to do is hide under the sofa
还没 她只是敲了我的门 我要做的就是躲到沙发下面
until she moves on to the next sap.
等着她对我失去兴趣
Wouldn't it be easier to just pay them? I can't, mate.
你去交税不是更简单一点吗 我不能去 伙计
I conscientiously object to taxation.
我发自内心地抵触税收制度
On what grounds?
理由呢
On the grounds that I tried it once and I didn't like it.
理由就是我试着交了一次 发现我不喜欢
Luckily, it wasn't bad timing for an enforced sabbatical from the business
幸运的是 现在正是我强行休假的好时机
as I'd recently branched out
因为我最近的业务扩展到了
into movie distribution.
电影发行领域
Can you believe people will pay 20 quid a pop
你相信人们愿意付20镑
to get their own copy of this boggly-eyed little cunt?
就买♥♥一份关于这大眼睛小怪物的电影拷贝
This all started with a visit
这一切都开始于
from our friendly neighbourhood loan shark.
我们友好的放高♥利♥贷♥邻居的一次拜访
Ronnie Farrell had recently acquired some electrical goods
Ronnie Farrell最近拿到了一批电子产品
and needed a safe place to store them for a few weeks.
需要一个安全的地方存放几个礼拜
Stay in the van, I mean it.
待在车里 我不是开玩笑
Just until the paperwork got sorted.
直到手续都办妥
Anyway, these goods turned out to be a batch of state of the art
不管怎么说 这些货都是些最新型的
video recorders and camcorders.
录像机和摄像机
Which was handy because as well as crushed dreams,
这倒是挺方便的 因为音乐事业不仅带来破碎的梦想
the music industry had given Lavender a basic knowledge of recording equipment
也教会了Lavender一些使用录制设备的基本知识
so when I got hold of an illegal VHS of the biggest movie
所以 当我拿到了这套全世界最牛逼电影的
on the fucking planet,
盗版录像带以后
we set up our own dubbing suite
我们有了我们自己的录制间
and entered the pirate video business.
进军盗版音像制品领域
Piss off, will ya! Turn that bloody thing off!
滚一边去 把这该死的玩意关掉
God, the little boy's sick now.
上帝啊 这小男孩现在都生病了