白金狂人（2017）

I've always loved great magicians.
我一直钟爱伟大的魔术师们
They're the double glazing salesmen of the entertainment business
他们相当于娱乐产业里的双层玻璃推销员
Last year, with nothing but a massive curtain,
去年 只用了一块巨大的布帘
and an even bigger pair of balls,
以及更大的屌♥
David Copperfield made The Statue of Liberty vanish.
大卫科波菲尔让自♥由♥女神消失了
Now, you and I both know he couldn't have vanished
你和我都知道他不可能
The Statue of fucking Liberty...
让自♥由♥女神消失
but look into his eyes.
但是看看他的眼神
Tell me he doesn't 100% believe that
告诉我他不是百分之百相信
he just made her disappear for real.
他真的让自♥由♥女神消失了
What you're looking at there, folks, is the secret of sales.
你们在这里看到的 是推销的秘密
Believe in what you're selling.
相信你所卖♥♥的东西
I'd forgotten that, and it's almost cost me everything I love,
我忘记了这种信念 差点丢了我爱的一切
my wife, my kids, my money.
我的妻子 孩子 金钱
But now it's time to start
但是现在是时候开始
taking it all back the only way I know how,
重新做我唯一会做的事
by selling the greatest product that exists on this beautiful planet...
那就是去推销这个美丽世界里最棒的产品
me.
我
Aren't you going to be late for school?
你是不是去学校要迟到了
But we're not finished here. Oh, I think we are, sweetheart.
我们还没结束呢 哦 我觉得结束了 亲爱的
You want me to piss away my money
你想让我把钱都乱花在
starting a double glazing company with you?
跟你合伙卖♥♥双层玻璃窗吗
I mean, that's a less nuanced version of it but, yeah.
你这说的太笼统了 但是是这意思
Why don't you just take over at Cachet?
你怎么不直接接管金牌窗业
Walshy won't sell, it's his nest egg.
Walshy不会卖♥♥的 公♥司♥是他的宝贝
Well, I always find a man more amenable to an offer
我发现一个人会更容易接受我的提议
when I've got his nuts clamped in a vice.
如果我能夹住他的小核桃
Are we talking metaphorical testicles here?
我们这是在比喻睾丸吗
Yeah, for the minute. Now, Vincent, ever heard of a phoenix scam?
现在是的 Vincent 你听过凤♥凰♥诈骗吗
No, but feel free to enlighten me.
没有 快指教指教我
It's when you take a business...
它是指你用一桩生意
say, a flourishing double glazing firm,
比如 生意兴隆的窗业公♥司♥
you siphon off all the cash
榨干它所有的钱
and at the same time, you run up crippling debts
同时 签下巨大的债务
until it gets wound up.
直到公♥司♥难以运行
You see, that's a bit short-term for me.
你看 这事也就是个短期目标
I want to run my own company, build it up into a national chain.
但我想开自己的公♥司♥ 做到全国连锁的程度
And you will, young Vincent, because at this point
你会的 年轻人 因为这时候
a handsome and respected local businessman steps in,
一个外表不凡 受人尊敬的本地商人出现
buys up the company for a nominal fee, say £1,
象征性地付一笔钱买♥♥下公♥司♥ 比如1英镑
and a new "Debt free" Firm rises from the ashes of the old one.
于是一家"无债务"的公♥司♥便能浴火重生
The phoenix from the flames.
如同凤♥凰♥涅磐
How legal is it?
这有多合法
Well, let's just say it's not completely illegal.
可以说并不是完全不合法
It's certainly immoral, though.
但肯定是不道德
I mean, how would you feel about stealing Walshy's livelihood,
你对于偷走Walshy的饭碗
his money, his business?
他的钱和生意感觉怎么样
I feel surprisingly OK about it.
很惊讶地是 我觉得完全没问题
To be honest, I'd have felt OK about letting Ronnie take a shit in my mouth
实话说 让Ronnie在我嘴里拉泡屎 我都没问题
if it had meant I could clear my 50 grand tax bill.
只要能付清我欠的5万镑税金
Stage one of the plan
计划第一步是
was getting me installed as a partner at Cachet.
让我成为金牌窗业的合伙人
Being a greedy cocksucker, Walshy jumped on my offer to invest.
作为一个贪婪的狗腿子 Walshy马上同意我的投资
Do I want to know where this came from?
这钱是从哪里来的
Don't shit your pants, it's all above board.
别吓到拉裤子 都是光明正大来的
I re-mortgaged the house.
我又抵押了房♥子
Which is partly true, Ronnie loaned me the money.
这话半真半假 Ronnie贷款给我
What I didn't mention was that
我没有提起的是
I'd borrowed it against Walshy's business, not my house,
这钱是抵押着Walshy的公♥司♥借出来的 并不是我的房♥子
with interest rates that were fucking eye-watering,
利率高得真♥他♥妈♥惨不忍♥睹
even for a shark like Ronnie.
即使对Ronnie这样放高♥利♥贷♥的人来说
Congratulations, partner. Best move you've ever made.
祝贺你 合伙人 你下过最好的一步棋
Fortunately, Walshy had about as much business acumen as a bucket of pig shit.
幸运的事 Walshy的商业头脑如同一桶猪屎
As long as orders were coming in,
所以只要有订单入账
he'd think business was hunky-dory.
他就会认为生意好得不得了
But before I could start spending his money like a cunt,
但是在我开始丧心病狂地花他的钱之前
firstly I needed to re-hire one.
首先要重新雇回一个人
Hello, Maureen, love. Is Brian about?
你好 Maureen 亲爱的 Brian在吗
Fuckface! Door.
龟孙子 找你
Fitzpatrick took less convincing than I'd imagined.
Fitzpatrick比我想象的还好说服
Christ, I need this job. Thank you.
天啊 我需要这份工作 谢谢你
Walshy! Get a load of that.
Walshy 好好看看这个
It didn't matter that we were selling our windows for practically cost,
我们卖♥♥窗户入不敷出这事根本没关系
to Walshy's barely-educated eye, business was flying.
在没怎么读过书的Walshy眼里 生意十分兴隆
What he didn't know was that
他不知道的是
I was about to pilot it into the side of a fucking mountain.
我很快就要让公♥司♥一落千丈了
Here you are, boys.
来吧伙计们
One of my first acts as a codirector
上任副董事以后
was to approve company cars for the entire sales team...
我首先给所有推销员买♥♥了公车
including a nice little upgrade for moi.
包括也给自己的小小升了个级
In fact, everything got upgraded, our suits,
实际上 一切都被升级了 西服
the office furniture...
办公室的家具
..We even had prototype car phones fitted.
甚至还装了车载电♥话♥样板机
As communication devices, they were next to fucking useless,
作为通讯工具来说 他们基本上屁用没有
they never worked.
从来不管用
But as toys to wind up the Millman Young pricks,
但是作为新鲜玩意儿来搞一搞密尔曼杨的混♥蛋♥们
they were priceless.
它们就太宝贵了
To soften the blow of Fitzpatrick's return,
为了让Fitzpatrick的回归影响小一些
I promoted Lavender to head of marketing
我把Lavender提拔到了营销主管
and gave him an unlimited budget to blow on
给了他无上限的资金挥霍在
an obscenely expensive radio ad.
一个贵得吓人的电台广♥告♥
We are rolling.
开始录音
Right. Cut there. Sorry to interrupt.
好 停 抱歉打断一下
What's up?
怎么了
Erm, have you cleared this with Paul Young's label?
呃 你用这歌♥有Paul Young公♥司♥的许可吗
I wrote this fucking lick, mate.
这他妈是我写的 兄弟
I own this sound, all right?
这是我的音乐好吧
All right. Take two.
好吧 录第二条
Ronnie was even throwing me a kickback from
Ronnie甚至从他贷款给金牌得来的
the extortionate interest on his loans to Cachet
那极高的利率里面给了一笔回扣给我
to settle my outstanding tax affairs.
让我付清我欠的巨额税
It was beautiful.
太美妙了
You're welcome.
不用谢
Now, I appreciate this all might seem a little harsh on Walshy,
我知道这对Walshy来说有点残忍♥
but at least this way he gets to keep £1
但起码他还能剩下1英镑
and, more importantly, his nuts.
更重要的是 他的蛋
And that was Kool & the Gang there, with Celebration.
刚才是库尔伙伴合唱团带来的
Now, we'll be right back with travel after this short break.
短暂休息一下 我们马上回来
Essex Radio!
埃塞克斯电台
Hang on, Sam, this is it. This is it!
等等 Sam 这就是了 这就是
What's happening?
是什么
On the radio. My ad. Sh...
广播里 我的广♥告♥ 嘘
**If your windows and doors Don't look loved and adored*
*如果你家门窗 缺少爱的关照
*Time to make a change* What do you think?
*此时该做改变* 你觉得怎么样
I think I want you to stop talking
我觉得你应该闭嘴
and start unbuttoning my blouse.
解开我的上衣
Seriously though, what do you think?
说实话 你觉得怎么样
How does it make you feel?
这歌♥让你有什么感觉
Unbelievably irritated.
难以置信地烦躁
Irritated? Why?
烦躁 为什么
Oh, I don't know, maybe because I'm playing second fiddle
哦 我不知道 可能是因为我还比不上
to a Paul Young sound-a-like jingle
一首像Paul Young乐队的广♥告♥歌♥
for my shithead, soon-to-be ex-husband's business.
这歌♥还是关于我那快离婚的傻♥逼♥丈夫的生意
Paul Young sound-a-like?
像Paul Young的歌♥吗
I created the bass hook on that bloody intro.
这前奏里的贝斯他妈是我写的
Don't forget the name, Cachet Windows and Doors.
别忘了我们的名字 金牌窗业
Even when we're fucking escaping Vincent
真是想要躲他妈的Vincent
there's no escaping Vincent.
却还是躲不掉
I thought you liked our little secret rendezvous.
我以为你喜欢我们的秘密约会呢
All right, saying it in French doesn't make it more romantic.
得了吧 用法语说这话 不代表就会更浪漫