我为养生狂（2023）

God!
宝贝
Oh, babe. - Hmm.
以后还有很多得奖机会
There'll be more awards.
其实我才不在乎什麽奖
Honestly, I don't care about the award.
拜託别碰我的喇叭
Please don't touch my horn.
抱歉,阿达,可是我要迟到了
Sorry, Dal, but I'll be late.
不是只有妳有事要办,好吗?
Well, you're not the only one who's inconvenienced.
宝贝,凡妮莎他们找到保姆了 所以他们会来
Oh, babe, the Vanessas got a babysitter so they're a yes.
所以现在只剩莉维 还没回覆婚礼邀请函
That means Liv's the only one who hasn't RSVP'd for our wedding.
真假?新郎的姊姊还需要回覆?
Really? The sister of the groom needs to RSVP?
如果她不想饿肚子的话
If she wants to get fed.
妳好像故意不回覆想引起注意
It's like you're holding it hostage for attention.
-闭嘴,我为什麽要这麽做? -因为妳就是会这麽做
Shut up. Why would I do that? - Because that's what you do.
妳抢走别人的光环
You steal the spotlight.
没办法,我是天生的艺人
Well, I can't help it if I'm a natural entertainer.
开快点,溷蛋!
Move, dipshit!
-温馨提醒,只有驾驶能按喇叭 -天啊
Friendly reminder, horn's for the driver. - Oh, God.
还记得妳抵♥制♥奶奶最后一次圣诞节?
Remember when you boycotted Nan's last Christmas?
我是为了做善事
It was for a good cause.
奥莉维亚,跟踪国♥际♥特♥赦♥组织的男生 不算是做善事
Stalking a boy from Amnesty International is not a good cause, Olivia.
然后在我12年级的时候 妳竟然跟我的男伴上♥床♥
And then at my year-12 formal, you had sex with my date.
是我救了你免于尴尬情境
I saved you from a very awkward experience.
还有爸的葬礼,妳喝茫醉倒在花♥园♥裡
And Dad's funeral, you got hammered and passed out in the garden.
-就倒在我的牵牛花上 -对
Right on my petunias. - Yeah.
我太伤心了
I was grieving.
我们都很伤心
We were all grieving,
反正最后注目焦点都在妳身上
but somehow, the focus always ends up on you.
既然我这麽讨人厌 你们为什麽还要我来?
If I'm so unbearable, why do you want me around?
别这样,我们只是逗着妳玩,莉维
Oh, come on. We're just having a bit of fun, Livvie.
喔,是吗?
Oh, really?
被家人当成笑话有什麽好玩的?
All right. Well, what's fun about your family thinking that you're a joke?
不只有我们
Oh, it's not just us.
我才不要回来参加婚礼
I'm not coming back for the wedding.
-奥莉维亚 -不要，不要。
Olivia. - Nah. No. No.
反正离节目上档太近了
It's too close to the show launch anyway. You know what?
让我在这裡下车
Just let me out here.
-不行,这裡不能停 -我不管,快靠边停车
No, it's no stopping. - No, I don't care. Just pull over.
-停车! -我会被开单
I'm not getting a ticket.
奥莉维亚
Olivia.
我们之间还是隔着一片海洋 才能继续和乐融融
Let's just get an ocean between us so we can all go back to being happy.
(美♥利♥坚♥合众国)
奥莉维亚希利
Olivia Healy.
-奥莉维亚希利在吗? -有,我在,你好
Is there an Olivia Healy? - Ah. Yes, I'm here. Hello.
嗨
Hi.
太棒了
Far out.
请把妳的东西收回去,女士
Please keep your belongings on your person, ma'am.
不必用这种口气对我说话
No need to "ma'am" me.
察德,我这几天过得很不顺
Okay, Chad, I have had a rough couple of days,
所以你要帮我离开这裡
so I need you to get me out of here.
看来妳真是历尽风霜
Bet you've seen some real hardship.
没错,我还是窃盗桉受害者
Well, I have. I was actually the victim of a theft,
所以麻烦你帮我盖个章
so if you could please just stamp it,
把该做的都弄一弄,谢了
or whatever it is you do, that'd be great.
只有美国政♥府♥能命令我,妳不行
I take my orders from the US government, not you.
我每个桉子都要仔细检视
And I need to check each case thoroughly,
因为一个小瑕疵就能驳回申请
because one little error can void an application.
好吧,该有的都有了
All right, well, it's all in order. - I'll be the judge of that.
这由我来判断
我们一开始可能有点小误会
I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. I'm actually a really lovely person.
其实我这个人很好的
妳看起来很亲切
You seem like a real delight.
我是啊
Well, I am.
我今天刚好心情不好,我道歉
Just, you've got me on a bad day, and I apologize.
我是真的一定要回家
I just-- I really need to get--
如果妳能安静五秒,我就能好好做事
If you can be quiet for five seconds, I can do my job.
拜託你别再敲了,好吗?
Can you please stop that tapping?
天啊,他妈的别再敲了
Oh, my God, stop the goddamn tapping, please.
-别跟我大小声 -抱歉
Do not raise your voice at me. - Sorry.
妳还好吗?妳脸色不太好
Are you all right? You don't look well.
我没事
I'm fine.
妳要是生病就不能上飞机
You know you can't fly if you're sick.
我没有生病
No, I'm not sick.
我有理由认定妳在骗我
I have reason to believe you're lying to me,
如果是这样的话 我不能核准妳的申请
and if that's the case, I can't approve you.
女士?
Ma'am?
女士?
Ma'am? Ma'am?
干,我要回家!
Fuck. I need to get home!
我要回家!
I wanna go home!
-别担心,妳马上就能回家了 -抓住她
Don't worry, you'll be home soon.
妳的体内充满垃圾
Your insides are garbage.
好,这位素昧平生的小姐
Okay, lady I've never met before.
这张表格帮我签一下,麻烦了
Can you just sign this form, please?
胆固醇高得可怕,血压破表
Horrible cholesterol levels, insane blood pressure,
还有家族心脏病史
and family history of heart disease.
我不能让妳过关
I can't pass you.
-过什麽关? -身体♥检♥查
Pass me for what? - The medical.
-这是申请绿卡的第一关 -不对,我已经有绿卡了
It's the first step to get a green card. - Oh, no, I have a green card.
已经没有了
Not anymore.
什麽?为什麽?
What? Why not?
妳出事后,领♥事♥馆♥认定妳健康欠佳
After your incident, the consulate deemed that your poor health
会给美国带来负担
could make you a burden to the US.
身为领♥事♥馆♥认证的两位雪梨医生之一
As one of two consulate-approved doctors in Sydney,
我受指派评估妳的健康
I'm assigned to assess you.
我说...
And I say...
妳不合格
you fail.
不!
No!
靠,对不起
Oh, shit, I'm sorry.
我老闆以为我在飞机上
My boss thinks I'm on a plane now
她要把我弄进一个电视节目 此事非同小可
so she can sell me for a TV show. It's a major deal.
很遗憾,这也跟我无关
Unfortunate. Also, not my problem.
妳对病人的态度糟透了
Wow, your bedside manner sucks.
妳的静息心率更糟
Your resting heart rate sucks.
好,让我再做一次体♥检♥
Um. Okay. Uh, let me do the medical again.
给我足够的时间好起来
Just give me enough time to get well.
好,一年后见
Okay. See you in a year.
一年...不行 我四週后要到纽约上节目
A year-- No, I've gotta be in New York in four weeks for the show.
听着,妳要把胆固醇从6降到4.5
Listen, you need to shift your cholesterol from a 6 to 4.5,
血压降到120/80
get your blood pressure to 120/80,
静息心率从105降到至少75
and lower your resting heart rate from 105 to at least 75.
妳绝对不可能在一个月内完成
No way you can do that in less than a month.
妳不瞭解我
Well, you don't know me. - I don't, and don't want to.
我是不瞭解,也不想瞭解
我一定会好起来 直接通过那个什麽烂体♥检♥
I'm gonna get so well that I'm gonna smash that stupid medical,
然后我要回纽约去
I'm gonna get back to New York,
成为全世界最棒的电视评审
and I'm gonna be the best goddamn TV judge that the world's ever seen.
似乎不太可能
Seems unlikely.
好,妳等着瞧
Yeah, well, watch me.
♪ Oh, nah, yeah ♪
♪ Tell me what you wanna hear ♪
♪ Tell me how you wanna roll Nah, yeah ♪
-妳要把门打开,还是... -关上
Does this stay open or, I don't know-- - Shut it.
♪ Oh, nah, yeah ♪
♪ Tell me what you wanna hear ♪
♪ Tell me what you wanna do Oh, nah, yeah ♪
♪ Tell me where you wanna go ♪
♪ Tell me how you wanna roll Oh, nah, yeah ♪
♪ Tell me what you wanna hear ♪
♪ Tell me what you wanna do Oh, nah, yeah ♪
♪ Tell me where you wanna go ♪
♪ Tell me how you wanna roll Oh, nah, yeah ♪
♪ Tell me what you wanna hear ♪
♪ Tell me what you wanna do Oh, nah, yeah ♪
♪ Tell me where you wanna go ♪
♪ Tell me how you wanna roll Oh, nah, yeah ♪
♪ I owe no apology ♪
♪ I don't owe no apology Oh, nah, yeah ♪
♪ Oh, nah, yeah ♪