我为养生狂（2023）

♪ I am right here, right now ♪
♪ Right here, right here, right now I am right here ♪
♪ Right now ♪
耶!
Yeah!
(不在办公室)
晚安,各位女士先生
Good evening.
我们大约20分钟后将开始往纽约降落
We're approximately 20 minutes away from starting our descent into New York.
纽约的气温是零下两度,正在下雪
The temperature in New York is currently minus two degrees and snowing.
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God.
嘿
Thanks.
我说过了,我需要提案会议
I told you, I need that pitch meeting. Come on, what'd I tell you?
拜托,我不是都跟你说过了?
-搞什么? -好狗不挡路
What the fuck? - I'm walking here.
去你的
Fuck you.
回家真好
Ah, I'm home. Oh.
-嗨 -妹子,你真会压线
Hi. - Girl, you are cutting it fine.
我改了班机,我到了,都准备好了
Well, I changed my flight. I'm here now. I'm ready.
-还有多少时间做妆发? -她太油亮了
How much time do we have for makeup? - She's very shiny.
简直像正午的太阳能板
She looks like a solar panel at high noon.
-抱歉,我很会出油 -通知妆发,盯紧进度
Yeah, sorry, I produce a lot of sebum. - Tell makeup and get the schedule.
好,她正要过来,用粉整个盖住
Okay, she's on her way. Cover her in powder.
她现在看起来像海洋世界
She looks like SeaWorld right now.
-她看起来很湿 -打起精神
She looks wet. - Look alive.
我的天啊
Oh, my God.
各位,这位是奥莉维亚希利
Everyone, this is Olivia Healy.
华伦是《美酒与美食网》的内容主管
Warren is the content lead for Wine and Dine Network,
贝琳达是《美食季刊》的总编辑
Belinda is chief editor at Gastronomy Quarterly,
罗米娜是《烹饪与书》的出版总监
and Romina is head of publishing at Cook and Book.
我们再聊
We'll talk.
天啊,我超迷你的节目
Oh, my God, I'm obsessed with your show.
我订了你的杂♥志♥
I subscribe to your journal,
我花了太多钱买♥♥你的书
and I've spent way too much money on your books. [chuckles awkwardly]
天啊
Oh, God.
我刚见到我所有的偶像 竟然没有挫屎
I just met every one of my heroes, and I didn't shit myself.
-他们也是我的偶像,所以别搞砸了 -好
They're mine too, so don't fuck this up. - Okay.
-这是什么? -你本周的行程
What's this? - Your schedule for the week.
今晚发布会之后,我会送你到饭店
After the launch, I'll take you to your hotel,
你准备明天拍宣传照
then you head to set tomorrow for the promo shoot.
之后是媒体采访,六点上工
After that, it's media interviews. Call time's 6:00.
-接下来交给我,薇乐莉 -好
I can take it from here, Val. - Okay.
-你没问题吧? -当然
You got this, yeah? - Yeah.
-加油 -好
Go, go. - All right.
-走吧 -好
Move. - Okay.
-我们要去哪里? -往右
Where are we going? - To the right. Right.
-你美极了 -我知道
You look amazing. - I know.
-好,她的样子... -美极了
Okay. Okay, she looks-- - Amazing.
差不多
Uh, adequate.
我们有点味道的问题
Sure. - We have an odor issue.
噢,谢谢
Oh, thank you.
奥莉维亚你最好认真点,妹子 这不是玩家家酒
Olivia, better pick up your game, kid. This ain't no bush league bullshit.
真好,每次见到你都好开心,泰瑞尔
Awesome. Always really lovely to see you, Tyrell.
你♥他♥妈♥的闭嘴,泰瑞尔
Shut the fuck up, Tyrell.
时差还可以吗?天啊,不说你不知道
How's your jet lag? - Oh, God, mate, you've got no idea.
要上场了,你心情如何?
This is it. How are you feeling?
兴奋
Excited.
紧张,我可能会吐出来
Nervous. I may throw up.
好,该我们上了
Okay, that's us. Mm-hmm.
-那是给我的吗? -对
Ooh, is that for me? - Yes.
-好漂亮 -套上去,快
Wow, it's so pretty. - Throw it on. Quick, quick.
哇
Oh, wow.
大家晚安,我是薇乐莉琼斯
Good evening, everyone. I'm Valerie Jones.
欢迎来到这十年来最令人期待的
Welcome to the launch of the most anticipated
电视烹饪节目的发布会
TV culinary event of the decade.
《皇家盛宴》
Banquet Royale.
薇乐莉要讲多久?
How long's Valerie on for?
-薇乐莉会讲十分钟 -好
Valerie's on for ten minutes. - Okay.
-准备上场了 -好
Then it's showtime. - Right.
你的大脑在哪个时区?
What time zone is your brain in?
天啊,我在悉尼时间
Oh, God, I'm on Sydney time.
真的很荒谬,就像...我的手表
It's something ridiculous like... Oh, my watch.
...不会有冒牌波登
...isn't bringing you suburban Bourdain wannabes.
你还好吗?
Are you okay?
-都是货真价实,没有冒牌货 -不好意思
It's all contenders... - Oh. Excuse me.
-莉维,你要去哪里? -我马上回来
Liv, where are you going? - Just give me a second.
...曾为国王和王后,苏丹和酋长做饭
...have cooked for kings and queens, sultans and sheiks.
对,跟她合作惊喜不断
Oh, yeah, she's gonna be fun to work with.
糟了
Fuck.
天啊
Oh, my God.
天啊
Oh, my God.
该死
Oh, fuck.
喂?
Hello?
天啊,我...
Oh, God. I'm--
我快疯了,我无法呼吸
I'm-- I'm freaking out. I can't breathe. [breathing heavily]
奥莉维亚?
Olivia?
对不起,医生 我不知道还能打给谁
I'm sorry, doc. I didn't know who else to call.
听着,我觉得我快...淹死了 可是我根本不在水里
Look, I feel like I'm-- I feel like I'm drowning, but I'm not in any water.
你明明说我没事了 我到底是哪里出问题?
You said I was fine. What the fuck is wrong with me?
好,你的身体没事
Okay, you are physically fine,
但听起来你是恐慌症发作
but it sounds like you might be having a panic attack.
我把我爸的手表弄丢了 可是我要上台了
I lost my dad's watch, and now I've got to be on stage
要面对很多大人物 我现在急得像热锅上的蚂蚁
in front of very fucking important people. I look like an armpit.
我真的是一事无成!
I'm just such a fuck-up!
哪个一事无成的人会在这么短的时间 把自己的身体调整好
Would a fuck-up have defied medical odds in such a short amount of time,
而且说到做到?
like she said she would?
莉维,你没问题的
Liv, you can do this.
真的吗?
Really?
真的
Really.
你真的是冲动得令人讨厌
You are annoyingly unstoppable.
但我认为你可以 从心理医生那里得到协助
But I do think you could benefit from a mental health professional.
天啊,真的假的?
Oh, God, no shit.
没什么好丢脸的 我自己也看了好几十年
No shame in that. I've-- I've been in therapy for decades.
我现在没时间做几十年的心理咨商
I don't have time for fucking decades of therapy right now.
好,莉维我有一招很有用
Okay. Okay, Liv, here's something that helps me.
我要你闭上眼睛
I want you to close your eyes.
感受你的脚踩在地上
Feel your feet on the earth.
很好,站稳脚步
That's it. Ground yourself.
深呼吸
Breathe in deeply...
数到十...
... and count to ten...
慢慢来
slowly.
这能帮我冷静下来,好吧?
This helps me in the moment, yeah?
但别忘了,莉维但这不能取代你做该做的
But remember, Liv, it's no substitute for doing the work.
纽约或许能帮你逃避问题
New York might help you escape your problems,
但这可能只是让问题搁置
but it might just be putting them on pause.
...我们三位优秀的评审
...our three brilliant judges.
第一位评审是享誉全球
Our first judge is world-renowned chef,
我们纽约的传奇米其林三星主厨
the legend of New York's own three-starred Michelin restaurant,
泰瑞尔詹姆斯
Tyrell James.
好棒
Yes.
超级模特儿,全球知名美食家 以及社群媒体名人
Supermodel, global food sensation, and social media phenomenon,
吉安娜迪路卡
Gianna De Luca.
我没事
Yeah, it's fine.
最后
And finally,
-是《盛宴》杂♥志♥的名笔... -四、五...
Banquet magazine's star contributor... - Four. Five.
-著名美食和生活时尚记者... -六...
...esteemed food and lifestyle journalist... - Six.
-远从南半球而来... -七...
...all the way from Down Under... - Seven.
-八 -奥莉维亚希利
Eight. - ...Olivia Healy.
九
Nine.
十
Ten.
(我爱阿达,我爱阿嘉)
♪ Uh, uh, uh, uh ♪
♪ Uh, uh, uh, uh ♪
♪ Uh, uh, uh, uh ♪
♪ Uh, uh, uh, uh ♪
♪ Have a heart Have a heart, have a heart ♪
♪ 16, 666, and I know the part ♪
♪ You are the river flow And we can never know ♪
♪ We're just the weatherman You make the wind blow ♪