我为养生狂（2023）

Yikes.
所以你们才想在更衣室里啪啪啪
That's why you're trying to get poom-poom in the change room.
好,那现在怎么办?
Okay, so, what happens now?
希望你们学到教训了那当然
We hope you've learned a lesson. - We certainly have.
很好
Good,
因为我们会罚你们一千元
because we're gonna fine you $1000.
你们还要做小区服务
And you'll have to do community service.
当祂的孩子来到人间,祂告诉他们
...as his children came down, and he told them,
“答案就在这里”
"The answer is here."
“耶稣就是答案”
"Christ is the answer."
不,谢了,我需要实际的帮助
No, thank you. I need sensible solutions.
你来对地方了
You've come to the right place.
你今天想问什么?
What do you wanna ask today?
我得离开这个国家
Well, I need to get out of this country,
如果有什么鬼、幽灵
so if there's a ghost, or a spirit,
或维京人之类的能帮我 那就太好了
or some sort of Viking that could help, that'd be great.
我们来问动物灵吧
Let's ask the animal spirits.
首先
Firstly,
牡蛎
the oyster.
秘密守护者
Secret keeper.
你隐藏着内在宝藏
You're hiding your inner treasures.
对,我追求性
Yeah, I am very sexual.
第二,天鹅
Secondly, the swan.
优雅的力量,无尽的能量
Elegant power, endless energy,
众人钦羡,鲜少树敌
envy of many, enemy to few.
天啊,真是太准了,谢谢
Oh, God, that's so accurate. Thank you.
最后
Lastly,
水牛
the buffalo.
稳固、务实、随时能度过难关
Grounded, practical, ready to weather a storm.
什么意思?
What does that mean?
结果很清楚
Your reading is clear.
稳固、优雅、满足 你已经在你该归属的地方
Grounded, graceful, content. You're exactly where you need to be.
什么?
What?
不...不对,就这样吗?
No. No-- What, is that it?
对
Yep.
我刚付了你200元
I just gave you $200.
动物们都显灵了
The animal spirits have spoken.
况且我要带孩子去做治疗
Plus, I need to take my kid to therapy.
不行,你要再算一次
I need you to have another look or something.
有没有什么坐飞机或纽约之类的?
Like, is there something there about, I don't know, a plane ride or New York?
或是伪造美国文件?
Or forging fucking US documents?
我是来找你帮忙,我需要你指点迷津
I came to you for help. I need guidance.
你比我更需要这个
You need this more than I do.
这是什么?
What is it?
是加了微剂量迷幻药的茶
It's tea with a microdose of LSD in it.
我不是来这里找乐子的,小姐
No, I'm not here to party with you, lady.
不,这能排解焦虑
No, it helps with anxiety.
让你头脑清晰,解决问题
It's great for mental clarity and problem solving.
我已经喝了好一阵子,效果...
I've been taking it for a while, and it's--
再来一杯,拜托
More, please.
这是微剂量,一杯就够了
Uh, it's microdosing. You don't need any more.
你说能帮我解决问题
You said it helps with problem solving, yeah?
我有99个问题 而迷幻药不是其中之一
Yeah, well, I got 99 problems, and LSD ain't one of them.
装满
Fill it up.
♪ Daydream ♪
♪ I fell asleep beneath the flowers ♪
♪ For a couple of hours ♪
♪ On a beautiful day ♪
♪ Daydream ♪
♪ I dream of you amid the flowers ♪
♪ For a couple of hours ♪
♪ Such a beautiful day ♪
奥莉维亚?
Olivia?
奥莉维亚?
Olivia, Olivia.
奥莉维亚?
Olivia?
奥莉维亚
Olivia, Olivia.
辛格医生
Dr. Singh.
你就差这么一点
You're so close.
你走对方向了
You're on the right path.
哇
Oh, wow.
这样看着你好辛苦
It's really hard to look at you.
告诉我该怎么做才能回美国
Tell me what I need to do to get back to America.
很简单
It's so easy.
答案一直在你面前盯着你
The answer has been staring you in the face the entire time.
你要做的是...
All you have to do is...
什么?
What?
不,等一下,别走,快回来
Oh, no, no, wait. Wait, no, come back--
天啊
Oh, God.
(依菲来电)
依菲
Oh, Evie.
-莉维,你在吗?莉维? -嘿
[Evie] Liv, are you there? Liv? - Hey.
-莉维 -亲爱的
Liv. - Hey, honey.
-我需要你帮忙,莉维 -好,深呼吸
I need your help, Liv. - Okay, take deep breaths.
出事了
Something's happened.
亲爱的,你哭成这样 我听不清楚你在说什么
Oh, honey, I can't understand a word you're saying, you're crying so much.
-你在哪里? -我在月神乐园,莉维
Where are you? - I'm at Luna Park, Liv.
你听我说,你先...
You know what? You just--
-你快来救我 -你待在这里别动
Please come help me. - Just stay there. All right?
我要打给你妈 因为我现在真的不方便
I'm gonna call your mum, because now really isn't a good time for me.
-不行,你不能打给妈 -好,我不打给你妈
No, you can't call Mum. - All right, I won't call your mum.
等我过去就马上打给你,好吧?
I'll call you when I'm on my way. Okay.
我靠
Oh, fuck.
我要找人帮忙
Yeah, I'm gonna need some help.
好,我吃你的吐司这件事 完全没发生过
Okay, but me eating your toast never happened.
-天啊,我好想念面包 -看得出来
God, I miss bread. - Oh, I could tell.
-是吗? -我很高兴我们约了见面
Yeah? - I'm glad we did this.
我希望我们能当朋友
I want us to be friends.
对,我也是这么想的
Yeah, I want us to be friends too.
好
Yeah.
-再见,阿嘉 -再见,塞巴
Bye, Gaz. - Mm, bye, Seb.
该死
Shit.
♪ Daydream ♪
♪ I fell asleep beneath the flowers ♪
♪ For a couple of hours ♪
依菲,我们到了,你在哪里?
Evie, we're here. Where are you?
我不知道这是哪里
I don't know where that is.
依菲?
Evie?
哇
Oh, wow.
哇靠
Fuck.Oh-hoo-hoo-hoo!
我想她的手♥机♥没电了
I think her phone's dead.
依菲,她长什么样子?
Uh, Evie. What does she look like?
好
Yes.
她有一张脸
She has a face,
她有时会把头发绑起来
and sometimes her hair is up,
但有时候会放下来
but sometimes it is down,
而且她散发出超龄成熟的韵味
and she radiates this maturity beyond her years,
但不会觉得她太早熟
but, like, not in a precocious way.
而是她的自我意识
She has this sense of self
非常惊人非常强大
that's just so magnificent and so powerful.
有时候她会戴手表
And sometimes she wears a watch.
太好了
Great.
-让我看看你的手♥机♥好吗? -好
Wanna show me your phone? - Yeah.
-这个...那就是她 -太好了,终于看到本尊
There-- That's her. - Great. Good to know.
-好 -好的
Okay. - All right.
-我们走吧? -好
Shall we? - Yes.
好的
Okay.
好,她说她在镜厅
Okay, she said she's at the mirror hall.
我们在这里
Well, we are here.
你也看到图一直动吗?
Is that moving for you?
我去售票处问问,看有没有人见到她
I'm gonna go to the ticket desk and see if anyone's seen her. Okay?
好天啊
Yeah. Oh. - Oh, jeez.
依菲?
Evie?
天啊
Oh, my God.
依菲?
Evie?
依菲?
Evie?
-哇 -真丢脸
Whoa. - How embarrassing.
莉维,你还在那里做什么? 我需要一个可靠的人