我为养生狂（2023）

What are you still doing there, Liv? I need someone reliable.
你到底还想不想要这份工作?
You still want this job or not?
薇乐莉,听我说 我已经尽力了,好吗?
Valerie, look, I'm doing the best I can, okay?
真的,但我现在得找到依菲
I really am, but I need to find Evie.
-你毁了一切 -才没有
You ruin everything. - Well, that's not true.
你根本自顾不暇更别说留下来参加你弟弟的婚礼
You can barely get your shit together to stay in town for your brother's wedding.
-爸? -伊薇
Hey, Dad? - I--
-依菲? -爸?
Evie? - Dad?
奥莉维亚,你都快40岁了
Olivia, you're almost 40 years old,
看看你这样子
and look at the state of you.
嗑了药跑来月神乐园
On acid in Luna Park.
人生不是无止尽的痛苦,妈
Life isn't about endless suffering, Mum.
艾美最懂我了
Amy knows what I'm talking about.
是吗?
Do I?
是的
Yes.
是我在找你女儿我比你更让她信任
I'm the one looking for your daughter. She trusts me more than she trusts you.
但你把这件事也搞砸了
And yet you fucked that up too.
莉维?
Liv?
依菲?我来了
Evie? I'm coming.
天啊
Oh, my God.
艾美
Amy.
等等,你要去哪里?
Wait, where are you going? Where are you going?
-依菲 -莉维
Evie. - Liv.
天啊
Oh, God.Oh!
找到你了
There you are.
-依菲 -依菲,这是我朋友艾萨克
Evie? - Evie, this is my friend, Isaac.
来吧,我们送你回家,好吗?
Come on, let's get you home, shall we? - Hmm.
你还好吧?
Are you all right?
我认为一对夫妻 不记得上次何时做♥爱♥是个问题
It's an issue when a couple can't remember the last time they've had sex.
好,你称之为问题没有帮助
Okay, it doesn't help calling it an issue.
孩子都出去了,房♥子里没别人
Well, the kids are out, the house is empty.
我们现在应该干得昏天暗地才对
We should be fucking our brains out right now.
我们到底怎么了?
What's happening with us?
-你有外遇? -天啊
Are you seeing someone else? - Jesus.
我哪里会有空?
When would I even have the time?
你觉得无聊?忧郁?
So are you bored? Depressed?
-艾美... -你还觉得我有吸引力吗?
Amy. - Are you even attracted to me anymore?
天啊,当然有,看看你自己
God, yes, of course I am. Look at you.
你也很吸引我,所以到底是怎么了?
I'm attracted to you too. So, what's happening?
你能不能先把记者那一套放下来?
Will you stop being a journalist for one second?
也许莉维对我们的看法是对的
Maybe Liv's take on us was right.
也许我们最好的日子已经过去了
Maybe our best days are behind us.
我每天都这么想你是说真的吗?
I feel that every day. - Are you serious?
不是我们最美好的时光,而是...我最美好的时光
Well, not our best days, but my best days, yeah.
你到底在说什么?
What are you talking about?
我秃头了
I'm going bald.
-你才没有 -我有
No, you're not. - Yeah. Yeah, I am.
没错,我父母两边都有秃头
Yeah, I'm bald on both sides of my family.
看,这个以前在这边
Yeah, and this used to be here.
我觉得自己又老又恶心
I feel fucking old and gross.
-道格,你这种感觉有多久了? -你挖到独家新闻了
Doug, how long have you been feeling-- - You got your scoop.
我们别再说了,拜托?
Can we drop it, please?
我每天早上都会发现新的白发
I find new gray hairs every morning.
哪有?我从来没看过
No, you don't. I've never seen one.
因为都被我拔掉了
Because I pluck them out.
我今天拔了12根
I plucked out 12 today.
有一根还是下面的
One from downstairs.
听着,我们越来越老了 我们俩一起老
Hey, look, we're getting older, okay, together.
不是什么世界末日
It's not the end of the world.
你还是很性感
You're still very sexy.
其实,我觉得你没头发会更性感
In fact, I think you'd be even sexier without hair.
少来,你只是说说而已
Oh, come on, you're just saying that.
谁是我的性幻想偶像?
Who's my hall pass?
史丹利图奇
Stanley Tucci.
我可以坐在他脸上 让他把我调出一杯尼格罗尼
I could sit on that man's face while he makes me a negroni.
那我何必多年来一直纠结
Why the fuck have I been getting around
要保住这愚蠢的头发?
with this stupid head of hair for so many years?
谁晓得
I have no idea.
好看吗?
How's it look?
你自己看
Take a look yourself.
你长胡子了
You got a mustache.
幸好我的性幻想是芙烈达喀尔萝
Lucky my hall pass is Frida Kahlo.
原来你喜欢这一套?
Oh, you're into it, are you? - Mmm.
我就是喜欢,怎样?
What if I am?
继续说
I'm listening.
我就是喜欢性感女郎
What if I am into hot ladies
有一脸胡渣,怎样?
with thick, scratchy mustaches?
等我到了更年期
Well, it'll save on hormone replacement therapy
可以省下荷尔蒙补充治疗的钱
when I hit menopause.
等等,我有个想法
Ooh, hey, hey, hey, I've got an idea.
什么?
What?
只把头皮剃光太可惜了
Why stop at the scalp?
你这变♥态♥妹
You kinky fuck.
我们到了
Hey, we're here.
要我陪你走进去吗?
Want me to walk in with you?
我还不想进去
可以再等一下吗?
I don't wanna go in yet. Can we just wait a bit?
别这样,亲爱的跟我说,到底怎么了?
Come on, darling. Talk to me. What happened?
他们把我丢在那里,以为这样很好笑
They just left me there. They thought it was hilarious.
等我出来,大家都走了
By the time I got out, everyone had left.
好像这次出来玩就是为了整我
It's like the whole day out was set up to play that prank on me.
你好可怜,你打给我是对的
Oh, I'm sorry. You did the right thing by calling me.
我就知道你会懂
I knew you would understand.
好,我就当作是赞美吧
Okay, well, I'll take that as a compliment.
天啊,对不起
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
我知道你现在很难过 但一定会变好的,我保证
I know it's hard now, but it will get better, I promise.
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
来,这给你
Hey, here, have this.
我说个故事给你听
Listen, let me tell you a story.
在我们学校里
At my school,
有个女生有点怪
there was this girl, little bit of a weirdo.
沉迷于电子鸡无法自拔
Way too obsessed with the Tamagotchi.
从第一天就格格不入
Kind of like an outcast from day one.
她听起来像个鲁蛇
She sounds like a loser.
那个女生就是我
That girl was me.
对
Oh. - Yeah.
谢谢你喔 我们在讲女生的话,好吗?
Okay, thank you very much. Having a private conversation back here.
-抱歉 -好
Sorry. - Yeah.
但你知道吗?她才不在乎
But you know what? She didn't give a shit.
在她人生最惨的一天
And on the worst day of her life,
她以为整个世界都完蛋了
where she thought the whole world had ended,
她和学校另一个怪胎成了朋友
she made friends with the other weird kid at school.
又一个鲁蛇?
Also a loser?
那是你妈绝对是鲁蛇
That kid was your mum. - Definitely a loser then.
你妈才不是鲁蛇,依菲
Hey, your mum isn't a loser, Evie.
她所向无敌 你知道她会扳倒政客吗?
She's a machine. You know she takes down politicians?
她完全不会跳舞,这我就老实说了
She can't dance for shit, I'll give you that,
我就是喜欢她这一点
but it's kind of one of the things I love about her.
我在人生最惨的一天遇到你妈
I met your mum on the worst day of my life,
我以为我活不下去了
when I didn't think I could ever breathe again.
但是多年下来我越来越好,因为有她陪在我身边
But over the years, it just got better, because I had her with me.
好吗?你那些所谓的朋友
Yeah? These so-called friends, they're not your people.
不是真正懂你的人我知道你现在一定很难理解
And I know that that's really hard to understand now,
但现在知道对你是好的
but it's good for you to know.
你会找到懂你的人 只是需要一点时间
You will find your people. You just gotta give it time.
就像你找到妈一样?
Like you found Mum?
对
Yes.
你们有彼此真是幸运
You're so lucky to have each other.
你们怎么可能成为朋友? 你们天差地别
How are you even friends? You're so different.
听着,无论发生什么事你都可以打给我,好吗?
Look, you know whatever happens, you can call me, yeah?
不管我在世界哪个角落在哪个时区都无所谓
No matter where I am in the world, time zones, doesn't matter.