出柜家庭（2016）

The Real O'Neals S01E02

Part 3 Aug. 27, 2020, 11:24 a.m.

肯尼跟你坦白之前你知道他是同志吗?
Did you know Kenny was gay before he told you?
不知道
No.
你呢?
Did you?
我肚子疼
Ugh, I have cramps.
想喝点我珍藏的茶吗?
Can I give you one of my teas?
蜜蜜! 我穿紧身裤显胖吗?
Mimi! Do these capris make me look fat?
你的胸软糊糊的
Your boobs feel squishy.
我太傻了
I am such an idiot.
这地方太棒了
This place is amazing.
不会吧?!
What?!
内嵌微波炉
It comes with a microwave.
还有浴室!
And a bathroom! Dude.
看到没?
You see?
无心插柳柳成荫
We didn't have a plan, and look what we found.
太棒了
Ah, this is working out great.
那你们怎么打算? 租六个月吗?
So, what were you thinking? Six-month lease?
一年?
A year?
不知道耶
Mm...I don't know.
我们这些天还没好好计划过
We're not really planning things these days.
这床可以折叠到墙上
There's a bed on the wall.
娱乐室里还有按♥摩♥浴缸
And a jacuzzi in the rec room.
爸爸你得租下这个地方
Dad, you have to get this place.
妈妈从不让我们享受按♥摩♥浴缸
Mom's never let us go in a jacuzzi.
她说那是恶魔之汤
She calls it the devil's chowder.
裸体和细菌的病灶
It's 'cause of the nudity and bacteria.
可没吓到我们
But that doesn't scare us.
嘿你还好吧...
Hey. How you doing...
运动装?
Sport?
肯尼我不想冲你发火
Look, Kenny, I don't want to be mad at you.
我也不想过来宝宝
Me neither. Come here, Biebs.
我在想...
And I was thinking... mm.
即使你是同志
Even if you are gay,
并不意味着我们不能
that doesn't mean we still can't
以身相许
Lose our virginity to each other.
是么?
Doesn't it, though?
我们是这么好的朋友
We're such good friends,
而且跟你在一起我有安全感
And I feel safe with you.
难道你想一辈子
Do you really want to go your whole life
都尝不到那滋味吗?
Without knowing what it's like?
你不想有经验可以对比吗?
Shouldn't you have something to compare everything else to?
也许她是对的
Maybe she's right.
我应该去探索
Shouldn't I know what it's like?
也不赖哦
Oh, this isn't so bad.
另外眯着眼看
And plus, if you squint,
她有点像奥兰多·布鲁姆
She looks a little like Orlando Bloom.
你不会后悔的
You won't be sorry.
让我做你的小木瓜
Let me be your papaya.
什么?!
What?!
尝尝蜜蜜的小木瓜你会喜欢的
Just try Mimi's papaya. I know you'll like it.
你说不要不就行了
You could have just said no.
这才是人生对吧?
Mm, this is the life, isn't it?
穿着衣服坐在按♥摩♥浴缸里
Sitting in a jacuzzi, wearing shirts.
并不是应为我羞于赤身相见
It's not even that I'm ashamed of my body.
只是这样更舒服
It's just more comfortable.
无须解释
We don't have to justify it.
想想看... 24小时以前
Think about it... 24 hours ago,
你还深陷婚姻泥沼
You were married and fighting.
而现在我们坐在按♥摩♥浴缸里爽歪歪
And now we are just chilling in a hot tub
看水咕嘟咕嘟无视外面的一切
with the bubbles, not a care in the world.
享受高品质的生活
Living the high life.
很高兴你这么想
Ah, I'm glad you feel that way.
以后怎样呢?
So, how's this gonna work?
你会隔一周来这儿一次?
Are you gonna be here, like, every other week?
- 或者隔一天? - 不知道
- Every other day? - I don't know.
想想看咯
We'll figure it out,
享受这水流就好对吧老弟?
Just go with the flow, right, buddy?
太对了
Yeah, totally.
- 星期天怎么办? - 怎么说?
- What about Sundays? - What about 'em?
我是说我喜欢跟你一起看球赛
Well, I mean, I love watching football with you.
可妈妈做的五色饭也很棒
Mm-hmm. But mom makes that amazing five-layer dip.
那么你会做那种五色饭吗
So, are you gonna make the same five-layer dip,
还是说我得和妈妈一起看球赛?
Or do I have to watch football with mom?
我想我能做饭...
I can make a dip... I think.
真的吗? 五层?
Really? All five layers?
这浴缸可真热
Whew. This hot tub is really hot.
这个地方真的够大吗?
Is this place gonna fit all of us?
只有一张床还嵌在墙上
And there's only one bed, and it's in the wall.
而且这里离学校超远
And this place is pretty far from school,
真是... 我们还要上学吗?!
And that's... do we still go to school?!
当然! 你们当然得上学
Yes! Of course you still go to school.
没错这里离学校很远
And yes, this place is far from school,
没错这是一个问题
And yes, that's probably gonna be a problem.
我可不想睡在墙里
No, I don't... I don't want to sleep in the wall.
我之前是很大无畏
I know that I acted brave about it before,
但我真的不想立着睡
But I don't... I don't know how to sleep vertical.
你不用睡在墙里的亲
You don't have to sleep in the wall, buddy.
没事的
It's okay.
我没想清楚
I didn't think this through.
天啊我应该有一个计划的
God, I should have had a plan.
是啊你真的应该有一个计划
Yeah, you really should have.
况且我们为什么要穿着我们的衣服游泳?
And why are we swimming in our shirts?
在这恶魔之汤里!
In the devil's chowder!
还没有毛巾
They don't even have towels.
我在自己的公♥寓♥里面有毛巾
I have towels in my apartment.
我很乐意把你弄干
I would like to dry you.
好了我知道为什么我们穿着衣服游泳了
Okay, now I remember why we're swimming in our shirts.
突然想到你可能很愿意知道你的计划生效了
Just thought you'd like to know, your plan worked.
我才和蜜蜜干完
I just got done doing it with Mimi,
简直太火♥辣♥性感所以我现在彻底变成直的了
and it was so hot and sexy that I am totally straight now.
亲爱的真的么
Oh, honey, really?
什么? 怎么可能!
What? What? No! Gross!
妈妈你意识到这件事情错得有多离谱了么
Mom, do you realize how wrong this is?!
错误的
Wrong?
我为你永恒的灵魂担心难道是错误的么?
Is it wrong for me to be worried about your everlasting soul?
我和菲尔神父谈过这件事情了而且他同意我的看法
I talked to father Phil about it, and he agrees.
真的么所以这是菲尔神父的主意么?
Oh. Really? This was father Phil's idea?
通过把蜜蜜打扮得像蒙福之子的一员
To trick me into having sex with Mimi
来诱骗我和她上♥床♥?
by dressing her up as a mumford & son?
不是的
No.
当他在跟我谈论有关怜悯的话题时
While he was talking to me about compassion,
我自己想到这个主意的
I thought of it myself.
这简直像《旧约全书》里什么的疯狂的把戏一样
That is some crazy Old Testament mom.
肯尼斯·克里斯托芬·塞巴斯蒂安·奥尼亚
Kenneth Christopher Sebastian O'Neal,
你就是用这张嘴来向耶稣祈祷的么
do you pray to jesus with that mouth?
所以项目进行的怎么样了
So, how's the project coming?
选好做什么了吗?
Do we have a winner?
我其实并不明白
Oh, I don't really get it,
但是每次她一说"电脑"这个词
but every time she says the word "Computer,"
- 我就搞不明白了 - 太棒了
- I bedazzle something. - Perfect!
大家都喜欢电脑
Everyone's impressed by computers.
所以昨天你才告诉我
So, yesterday, you were telling me
婚前性行为是一种罪
that premarital sex is a sin,
但是今天你就强迫我
But today, you're trying to force me
和一个女孩上♥床♥?
into doing it with a girl?
因为当一个那啥... 是一种更大的罪恶
Because being a... you know, is a bigger sin.
我就是个 "那啥"
Well, I am "You know,"
而且你迟早要接受这个事实
and you're gonna have to accept that sooner or later.
不我不能接受
No. I cannot accept that a smart kid
一个什么都有的聪明孩子
who's got everything going for him
要选择过一种不正常的生活
is gonna choose to live a life that's not normal.