出柜家庭（2016）

The Real O'Neals S01E10

Part 2 Aug. 27, 2020, 11:26 a.m.

Sam's a detective at the station
最近刚离婚的拉拉
And a recently divorced lesbian.
嘿刚刚至少有三件事
Hi. There's at least three things in there
他没必要告诉你不她肯定会问的
He didn't need to tell you. No, she would have asked.
啊
Aah!
加油啊
Come on!
啊什么情况
Well... What was that?
我也有个朋友
I also have a friend
随时可能会到的
Who's, uh, probably gonna be stopping by any minute now.
所以你肯定已经猜出来了
So -- but you probably already figured that out,
对吧侦探
Didn't you, detective?
此案完结
Case closed on this one.
哔哔
Pew, pew.
啊
Aah!
这才对嘛
That's it!
怎么这么久才来啊
What took you so long?
我正在美甲呢
I was mid-manicure,
我已经是最快的速度赶过来了
But I rushed over here as soon as I knew I was needed.
我停在你的草坪上了什么情况
I parked on your lawn. What's wrong?
帕特已经和一个拉拉女警交了朋友
Pat's friends with a lesbian detective
他们现在正在地下室
And they're in the basement.
信息量很大
That's a lot to process.
这是我们第一个独处的周末
It's our first single weekend,
他已经有了新朋友
And he's already got a friend.
离婚这事他比我强
He's so much better at divorce than I am.
我打赌他们肯定在抱怨前任
I bet they're complaining about their exes.
也许你可以下去
Maybe you could go down there
假装顺路听到
And just casually overhear
他们聊天的详情
Every single word of their conversation.
我会轻手轻脚
I'll tiptoe.
我一直都是红绿灯游戏玩得最溜的那个
I was always the best at "Red light, green light."
绿灯
Green light.
非常感谢你们来参加这个会议
Thank you all for meeting.
你们都已经知道了我在选最合适的人
As you know, I'm seeking the perfect candidate
来拿走我的初吻
To be my first kiss.
我希望这次面试流程是放松的
I want this interview process to be relaxing,
所以我只要大家的社保号♥
So I'll just need your social security number
来检查一下大家的信用
To check your credit score.
同时也会录音
And we're recording.
呃
Uh...
哨子不错信仰领袖吉米
Nice whistle, faith leader jimmy.
今年准备创新纪录了哈
Ah, so much for beating your record this year, huh?
你有没有想到除了
C-can you think of anything else
保鲜膜以外的恶作剧点子
That saran wrap can be used for other than pranks?
我想不出来一个也想不出来
Because I can't. I can't think of one thing.
好的晚点
All right. Well, later.
我们得谈谈
All right. We need to talk.
我的直觉告诉如果你告诉莫瑞校长
I have a really, really good feeling that if you tell V.P. Murray
你不想做信仰导师他会让我做的
You don't want to be faith leader, he'll give it to me.
我的意思是你本来就不想做这个对吧
I mean, you don't -- you don't want the job anyway, right?
是的我都不知道莫瑞为什么选我
No. I don't even know why murray picked me for it.
噢我知道的
Oh, I do.
他说这样可以让一个调皮捣蛋鬼变乖
He said that a good way to keep a troublemaker down
让他觉得自己可以做得更好
Is to make him believe he can do more.
他觉得我可以做更多？他亲口和你说的吗
He believes that I can do more? He said -- he said that to you?
不不你没有GET到点
No. You are missing the point.
不要再做一些你做不到的事了
Stop trying to be something you're not.
把这个位置让给我吧
Just let me have the job.
你不相信我可以胜任吗
You don't think I can do this, do you?
我将向你们每个人证明
I'm gonna prove to you and to everybody else
我实至名归
That I deserve the faith leader title.
你干嘛不躺倒你的睡袋里
So, why don't you go lay down in your sleeping bag
等我的指令呢
And wait till I tell you what to do next?
我觉得我会听你指挥吗
You think I'll take orders from you?
哦
Oh.
那这是什么你千万别吹
Oh, what's this? Don't you blow that.
你敢吹这个哨子
Don't you dare blow my whistle.
告诉你
let me tell you.
让捣蛋鬼变乖是一件非常困难的事
It is a very hard job keeping the troublemakers in line.
我会证明这点给你看的
And I'm gonna prove it to you...
因为我将会是一个捣蛋鬼
By being a troublemaker.
捣蛋鬼不会称自己是捣蛋鬼的
troublemakers don't call themselves troublemakers.
那好我会尽我全力做个史无前例的捣蛋鬼
Well, I'm gonna bring it like it has never been brung.
是这么说的对吧
Brought. Is it brought?
不管怎样走着瞧
Either way, that's what's happening.
朱迪你在干嘛
Jodi, what are you doing?
我？没有啊
Me? Nothing.
在洗衣服
Just doing a little laundry.
你怎么知道我在这里的
How did you know I'm here?
不知道帕特怎么想的
Well, uh, can't speak for Pat here,
但美女总逃不出我的法眼
But a pretty lady always gets my attention.
你好我是萨姆
hi. I'm Sam.
我是朱迪
I'm Jodi.
我最喜欢听恭维话了
And I'm totally bi when it comes to compliments.
旁边点帕特
Scooch over, Pat.
你可以告诉艾琳她可以下来吗
Will you just tell Eileen that she can come down here?
总比贴着门偷听好一点
It's better than having her listen through the door.
我没有贴着门偷听
I'm not listening through the door.
门是开的声音就传上来了
The door was open and sound travels up.
这是科学
That's science.
要吃卤肉吗？
Charcuterie, anyone?
不谢谢我刚变成素食者
Oh, none for me. I just became a vegan.
素食者
Vegan?
你什么时候决定不喜欢食物了
When did you decide not to like food?
噢坦白讲离婚以后
Oh, well, truthfully, after my divorce.
嗯我觉得我应该试一些新东西
I, uh, figured I should try some new things --
改变饮食报声乐课做蜡烛
Changed my diet, uh, taking voice lessons, making candles.
不好意思你说你会做蜡烛
I'm sorry. Did you say making candles?
是的
Yeah.
石蜡还是大豆蜡
Paraffin wax or soy wax?
大豆
Soy.
带芯的还是平的
Cored wicks or flat?
我会让它顺其自然
I'll let the candle tell me.
我也是
That's what I say.
- 哼嗯 - 哈!
- Huh. - Huh.
这就是平时吉米一起玩的小伙伴们
There's the crew jimmy normally hangs with.
我要开始行动了
I'm gonna make my move.
我只需要用一个酷炫的开场白来显得我比较坏
I just need a cool first line to show them I'm bad.
嗨德鲁我很喜欢你的T恤
Hi, drew. I like your shirt.
你是谁啊?
Who are you?
我是吉米的弟弟
I'm Jimmy's brother.
那个叛徒吉米?
Jimmy the traitor?
是的
That's right.
唔我想了我们可以做的恶作剧
So, I thought of a prank we could pull.
当吉米问我们问题的时候
When jimmy asks us a question,
我们可以做嘴型作答但不出声
we mouth the words but don't say anything
来让他以为他听力有问题
to make him think he has a hearing problem.
就像这样
Like this.
什么?
What?
没错就是这样
Exactly.
那样好蠢
That's stupid.
一二三都给我看过来
One, two, three, eyes on me.
好的我是你们的信仰领袖吉米
All right. I'm your faith leader, Jimmy.
如果你们乖乖认真做你们的耶稣日志
If you just stick to your Jesus journaling
还有你们的感恩清单就应该不会有什么问题了
And your gratitude lists, there shouldn't be any problem.
信仰领袖
Faith leader.
退场
Out.
我们要怎么样才能摆脱这个家伙?
What can we do to get away from this guy?
我改变主意了我需要这个房♥间
I've changed my mind. I'm gonna need this room.
有个圣冠的男孩子
There's a boy from holy crown
老是用一种令我不舒服的方式打量我