出柜家庭（2016）

The Real O'Neals S01E03

Part 3 Aug. 27, 2020, 11:24 a.m.

I'm going to confession.
忏悔?
Confession?
你上次做这件事情是什么时候?
When's the last time you did that?
我想要严肃对待赎罪这件事情
I want to get serious about atoning.
有意思
Interesting.
好吧明天的游♥行♥上
Well, you know, I'm gonna see Father Phil tomorrow
我会见到菲尔神父到时我问问他
at the parade, so I'll just ask him about it.
提醒一下忏悔的内容是私密的
Just a reminder. C... confession is confidential.
所以即使我杀了一个人他也不能告诉你
So even if I kill someone, he can't tell you.
这倒是真的
Mm. That's true.
但是你也要记住上帝一直在看
And you just remember... god is always watching.
不行!
No!
我只是想听一下妈妈
I just wanted to hear it, Mom.
有很多选择啊
Oh, a lot of options, huh?
有吸水因子的有翼的吸水夹层
We've got pearls, wings, flex foam.
哪一只这么走运呢?
Hmm, what feels lucky?
早发型绝经太幸运了
Early-onset menopause. That feels pretty lucky.
让我们看看后面的说明
Let's read the back.
"中毒性休克" 不行
"Toxic shock." Nope.
打扰一下先生
Excuse me, sir.
我的女儿
My daughter here is
正在经历她的初潮
experiencing her first period,
而且只有我一个人在帮助她
and I'm helping her out all on my own.
这些是我女儿用的
Uh, these are the ones my daughter used.
她很喜欢
She loved them.
这个如何?
Yeah? He likes these.
天啊
Oh, my god.
你是一个好爸爸
You're being a good dad.
她再也不是一个小女孩了
She's not a little girl anymore.
不知不觉她就上大学了
Before you know it, she's off to college.
我还有很多没有教给她
There's so much I haven't taught her yet.
莎伦你现在是一个女人了
Shannon, you're a woman now.
我在车上等你
I'll be waiting for you in the trunk of the car.
小女孩长大了
Little girl's growing up.
你得教她以后独自面对社会的
You got to give her the tools she needs to leave you
生存本领
and survive in the real world,
现在还为时未晚
before it's too late.
两个纯素生苹果派
Two vegan raw apple pies.
谢谢
Thanks.
请享用
Enjoy.
点这个苹果派的人是个骗子
Whoever called this apple pie is a liar.
吃起来简直像鼻涕
It's like someone sneezed in my mouth.
你的父母...
Um, so, your parents...
他们对于你是一个同性恋和素食主义者
they're... they're cool with you being gay and vegan
还在停车场里找人签请♥愿♥书这些事情很淡定么?
and getting petitions signed in parking lots?
是的我爸妈还住树屋呢
Yeah, my parents live in a tree.
你♥爸♥妈呢?
Yours?
住房♥子
House.
而且我妈妈...
And my mom...
她其实对这些很抓狂
she's not really cool with anything.
她并不知道我出来约会了
She doesn't know I'm on this date.
事实上这是我第一个跟男的约会
This is actually my first date with a guy.
我是不是太疯狂了
Am I going overboard?
我不知道因为这是我第一次
I wouldn't know 'cause it's my first time
这么出格一个男的约会
going overboard on a date with a guy.
我觉得如果你把这些告诉服务员
I think if you tell the waitress,
她会送你一道洋蓟
she'll give you a free artichoke.
天啊我第一次和男朋友的约会
Oh, my god. My first gay date
一切我想象的事情都发生了...
was everything I imagined it would be...
甚至更多
And more.
我从没想过当一个素食主义者还能这么有趣
I never thought being vegan could be this much fun.
好了现在过肩摔开始
Okay, now, twist and flip. Go.
天啊!
Oh, my gosh!
好了
All right.
现在你知道如何对付坏人了吧?
Now you know how to disarm an attacker, okay?
下一个内容在公共场合永远不要放下你的饮料
Next lesson... never put your drink down in public.
- 为什么不行? - 你放下饮料
- Why not? - You put your drink down,
有人就会下药
some guy's gonna put something in it,
然后你就死在阴沟里了
and... boom... you're dead in a ditch.
为什么这样?
Why are you doing this?
情势所迫如你所说
Because I have to because you were right.
爱尔兰小妖精的衣服是给小女孩的
Leprechaun costumes are for little girls.
你现在是个女人了所以我要教给你一些大人的东西
You're a woman now, so I have to teach you some adult things,
比如说锁喉或者如何换轮胎
like choke holds and how to change a tire.
我都还不会开车
I can't even drive yet.
不会换轮胎的女人
Well, women who can't change tires
会被困在那里然后死在阴沟里了
get stranded, and... boom... dead in a ditch.
- 爸爸 - 好吧我必须要
- Dad! - Well, I have to
教给你这些东西
teach you this stuff.
不用一天教完吧
Not all in one day.
我们只用了十秒就从
We went from leprechaun costumes
爱尔兰小妖精谈到死在阴沟里
to dead in a ditch in like 10 seconds.
要是我想变得这么奇怪的话
If I wanted it to be weird,
我就会告诉妈妈我来月经了
I would have told Mom about my menses.
现在是你把事情变得奇怪了
Well, now you've made it weird.
吉米我今天的约会太赞了
Jimmy, the date was perfect!
那谁付的钱?
So, who paid?
他付的但我为他拉了椅子
Um, he did, but I pulled out his chair.
所以他是受咯
So he's the chick.
他联♥系♥你了吗?
Did you hear from him?
嗯我们还聊了聊
Yes. We talked,
我们明天还要约会
and we're meeting again tomorrow.
明...不不明天是游♥行♥啊
Tom... no, not tom... tomorrow's the parade.
如果你不跟我们一起彩车游♥行♥的话
Mom's gonna flip out if you don't ride
妈妈会疯掉的
in the float with the rest of us.
这是个很大的决定我终于开始约会了
This is a huge deal. I'm finally dating.
她应该懂我的
She needs to understand that.
- 所以你告诉她了? - 噢天哪,没有
- So you told her? - Oh, god, no.
她应该理解我为什么不去游♥行♥
No, she needs to understand that
而不是知道我和个男的去约会了
without ever finding out that it happened.
你吃冰干吗?
Why are you eating ice?
我现在很危险老弟
I'm in crisis, dude.
杰西卡纽曼在隔壁开睡衣晚会
Jessica Newman is having a slumber party next door.
枕头大战?
A pillow fight?
开的真是时候不是吗?
That's a little on-the-nose, don't you think?
他们还要干嘛?给对方编头发吗?
What else are they gonna do? Like, braid each other's hair?
对!
Yes! Yes!
其实他们已经在枕头大战前编过了
They literally did that right before the pillow fight!
但我...我不会洗澡的
But I'm not..I'm not gonna take a shower, though,
我已经对天发誓了
'cause I... I made a promise to god.
所以我...我还会去彩车游♥行♥的
So I'm gonna... I'm gonna keep working on the float.
现在她们在互相给腿剃毛?
Now they're shaving each other's legs?
女孩子真是奇怪
Girls are so weird.
早上好同志们
Top 'o the mornin', O'Neals!
快穿上你们的绿毛衣
Put your green sweaters on!
我们要去彩车游♥行♥了
We've got a float to ride!
肯尼?
Kenny?
你在干嘛
What are you doing?
衣柜里是什么
What's in that closet?
我已经出柜了哦
Not me anymore.
我以为我们之间不会再有秘密了
I thought we weren't keeping secrets anymore.
没有啊我们走吧
We're not.Let's go!
你用这些线干吗?
What are you doing with all this yarn?
没什么
Nothing.
真的吗
Really?
因为看来你好像要用它们来编制一个谎言
Because it looks like you're using it to knit a web of lies.
你回去那个手工店了是不是
You went back to the craft store, didn't you?
好我就告诉你
Fine.
我和一个停车场的家伙约会了
I went on a date with the guy from the parking lot,
而且我今天还得去见他
and I'm seeing him again today.
停车场的那家伙