出柜家庭（2016）

The Real O'Neals S01E05

Part 1 Aug. 27, 2020, 11:25 a.m.

没有什么比第一个暖和的天气更好的了
There's nothing like the first warm day
尤其是经过漫长的芝加哥式的冬天以后
After an endless chicago winter.
这是... 暖和了?
Is it... warm?
已经十一摄氏度了
it's 52 degrees.
人们会变得有点疯狂
People go a little nuts.
耶!
Ohhhh!
阳光让人准备好新的开始
The sunshine makes you ready for a fresh start.
更重要的是阳光使你觉得
More importantly, it makes you think
万事皆有可能
That anything might be possible.
在学校里肌肤暴露爱弥漫在空气里
At school, skin is showing and love is in the air.
但是春天对于在中西部天主教高中
But spring for the only out gay kid
唯一一个基佬的我来说
at a midwestern catholic high school
有点孤单
Is a little lonely.
我是说当然还有另一个基佬斯图尔特
I mean, there is clearly gay Stewart.
嗨
Hi.
但是斯图尔特还在迷茫中
But stewart's still working through some stuff.
么么
Mm.
小贱♥人♥ 你真可口
Bitch, you are delish.
太遗憾了我戒了碳水化合物
Too bad I'm off carbs.
我豁出去了一切来出柜
I risked everything by coming out,
就是觉得我可能会不那么孤单
all so I would be less lonely,
但是我比以前还孤独
But I'm more alone than ever.
有时候生活让你思考
Sometimes, life makes you wonder.
嗷! 看着点!
Ow! Watch it!
嘿对不起!
Hey, sorry!
我讨厌飞盘太硬了
I hate frisbee. It's so hard.
我的天哪
Oh, my god.
上帝保佑芝加哥的女人们
god bless the women of chicago.
温度刚超过十一度开始秀美♥腿♥
Bringing out the legs the minute it breaks 50
就像小演员一样
just like little troupers.
我希望这些姑娘们都在车里放了一件暖和的外套
I hope all these girls have some warm coats in their cars
因为冬天估计一个小时以后就会回来了
'cause it could be winter again in an hour.
我准备忽略那些好好享受这些养眼的美♥腿♥秀
I'm just gonna ignore that and enjoy this bounty of limbs,
你作为一个刚恢复单身的男人也应该跟我一样好好欣赏
which you, as a newly single man, should be doing, too.
哎但是我还不是真的单身呢这才是重点
Yeah, but I'm not really single yet. That's the thing.
我现在在一个奇怪的无性炼狱里
I'm just in this weird sexless purgatory
在那儿我只做一件事那就是学习怎么使用洗衣机和干衣机
Where all I do is learn how to use the washer and dryer.
刚好给你更多理由来打开你的双眼享受美♥腿♥啊
All the more reason to open your eyes and let in the limbs.
伙计老实说我离出去勾搭妹子还远着呢
Honestly, man, I'm so far from getting back out there again.
我都看不见这些姑娘
I don't even see them.
我还是那双已经结了婚的眼睛
I still have marriage eyes.
这就是在你眼中她们死气沉沉的原因吗?
Is that why they're so cold and dead?
对是的
Yes, it is.
嗨! 春天来啦!
Hello! It's spring!
我建议我们去找公园里有草的地方
I say we go find that one grassy patch in the park
好好用这瓶高雅的欧洲甜品酒庆祝一下
and celebrate with this classy european dessert booze
我在我家水槽里做的
I made in my sink.
恐怕你得
I'm afraid you're gonna have
自己去公园里喝了
to go drink in the park by yourself again.
我正在找工作呢
I'm applying for a job.
如果这是跟一个有意思的警♥察♥一起工作的话你被雇用了
Well, if it's a job with the fun police, you're hired.
我是说如果学校里没有一个人愿意跟你玩儿的话
I mean, what was the point of even coming out
那出柜的意义在哪呢?
when there are zero people at school to do anything out with?
不仅仅是学校想想看
Not just at school. Think about it.
如果只有百分之十的人口是同性恋的话
If only 10% of the population is gay,
而且只有那其中的一半出柜了
and only like half of those are out,
加入只有百分之五的那些人是你的年龄
And only like 5% of those are your age,
那在整个伊利诺伊州你只能跟四个人约会了
there's like four people for you to date in all of illinois.
我去
Oh, my god.
他们其中的可能还是农民
Some of them are probably farmers.
一点也不搞笑!
It's not funny!
有点儿... 只有一点儿搞笑
It's a little... it's a little funny.
那就叫脆饼和篮子
It's called biscotti and baskets.
他们做一些可爱的篮子给里面装满脆饼
They make these darling baskets filled with, well, biscotti.
我觉得是时候找份工作了
And I thought it's time for a job.
你也知道我离婚了
You know, I'm not a wife anymore.
四年以后我就要成空巢老人了
In four years, I'll be an empty nester.
哼? ... 当然可能要排除吉米
Mm? ... well, aside from Jimmy probably.
我就是觉得我想出去做点什么
And I just feel like I want to go out there and contribute.
你很有责任感
That's very responsible.
一起去公园吧
Let's go to the park.
我就是不想成为那种
I just don't want to be one of those
单身女人整天在家喝酒什么都不干的女人
single women who sits home drinking all day.
我也不是第一次成为其他人的坏榜样了
Not the first time I've been someone's cautionary tale.
我就是担心没人会雇用我
I'm just worried no one will hire me.
除了教主日学校
I mean, aside from teaching sunday school
给教堂拍卖♥♥会做篮子
and making baskets for church auctions,
从生了孩子以后我都没有过什么真正的工作
I haven't had a real job since before the kids were born.
但是你的篮子做的真的很好
But your baskets are so good.
记得你圣诞节做的篮子吗
Remember the christmas basket that you made
用薄荷树皮和节欲宣传的材料做的那个?
with the peppermint bark and the abstinence-education materials?
那个"保卫你的篮子"的那个篮子也很经典
The "Guard your basket" Basket was a classic.
或许我能带上电脑
Maybe I could just take the laptop
给那些人展示一下我做过的东西
and show the guys some pictures of things I've made.
但是我都不知道应该在申请表上填什么
But I have no idea what to write on this application
介绍信
For references.
我可以帮你
I can help.
我以前申请过无数的工作
I've applied for tons of jobs
因为我不是那种
because I'm not the kind of woman
那种别人愿意照顾的女人
Anybody wants to take care of.
别告诉其他人尤其是我的孩子们
Just don't tell anyone, especially the kids.
我讨厌他们知道我曾经在什么事情上失败过
I hate for them to know I've ever failed at anything.
除了我的婚姻
Except for my marriage.
我开玩笑的真的开玩笑呢
I'm kidding. I'm totally kidding.
我觉得你想出去工作的想法真的很棒
I think that it's great that you're getting back out there.
我会帮你写的
And I'll help you with what to write.
你懂的你是一个坚强美好的女人
You know, you're a strong, wonderful woman,
谁能拥有你就是他的幸运
And anybody would be lucky to have you.
我们就是得修理好... 你
We just have to fix... all of this.
亲爱的嗨
Oh, hi, honey.
嗨你们聊什么呢?
Hi. What you guys talking about?
没什么什么都没说
Nothing. Nothing at all.
我准备去我的车上
I'm just gonna run out to my car
拿我放在后备箱的的护理套装以防万一
and get a grooming kit I keep in my trunk in case of an outbreak
或者一个紧急的儿童表演
Or an emergency child pageant.
- 农民也很可爱他们给奶牛挤奶... - 吉米!
- Well, farmers are cute, and they milk cows, you know... - Jimmy!
老妈在网恋
Well, mom's internet dating.
- 不是吧! - 什么?
- shut up! - what?
我听见她和朱迪阿姨聊天了
Yeah, I heard her talking to aunt Jodi about it.
接下来我们会见很多男人我觉得会很尴尬
Next we'll meet a series of guys, which will be awkward,
但是至少其中的一个会教我们怎么滑雪
but at least one of them will teach us how to ski.
老爸会遇到一个事业型女人
And dad will meet a career woman
一个以为自己再也没有机会生孩子的女人
Who thought she missed her chance to have babies,
但是跟老爸在夏天结婚的话她就可以在自己变肥婆之前
but marries dad by summer so she can squeeze a couple out
生几个孩子
before she gets the change.
她刚说什... 什么? 什么?
What did she just... what? What?
等等不... 老爸还在地下室住着呢
Wait, no,... dad still lives downstairs.
他们再婚以后我们还会住在一起吗？
Will we all live together when they're remarried?
什... 我们都变成摩♥门♥教♥徒了吗?
Wha.. are we becoming mormons?
不老妈不能在我找到对象之前找到男朋友
No, mom cannot get a boyfriend before I do.
真的吗... 你刚就在想这个?
Really? ... that's where you went with this?
听着这感觉很诡异也很沮丧
Listen, it's creepy and upsetting
我们的父母往前看了
that our parents are moving on,
但是我才16岁我还是更对这个感兴趣
but I'm 16 and I'm still way more interested in this.
你也应该上网找
You should go online, too.
- 你这么认为? - 当然
- you think? - totally.
网上有无数软件呢
There are a million apps.
基佬们基本上发明了这些在线勾搭软件
Gays basically invented the online hookup.
就在他们发明了Bravo和Lady Gaga以及
right after they invented bravo and lady gaga
在正常表演秀的中间播出的插入曲之后