出柜家庭（2016）
The Real O'Neals
第一季
剧集 | 出柜家庭（2016） | 导航列表
出柜家庭（2016）
The Real O'Neals S01E01
Part 4
Aug. 27, 2020, 11:24 a.m.
Is that something you'd like to talk about?
没门
Not a chance.
好吧 但是一会会再轮到你的
Okay, but I'm coming back to you.
别说了!
No!
听着 我明白这样有些尴尬
Now, look, I understand that this is uncomfortable
因为我们并不经常谈这些实际的东西
Because talking about real stuff isn't something we do,
但是我们要学着开始 我先来
But we're gonna start, and I'll go first.
帕特 不要这样
Pat, we are not doing this
我和你们妈妈在接受婚姻咨♥询♥
Your mother and I are in therapy.
我们每周二晚上去 已经有一年了
We've been going every Tuesday night for a year.
我 我以为你们是去打网球
I...I thought you were playing tennis.
你看我这身材像是常打网球的?
Is this the body of a man who plays tennis?
我… 并不怎么喜欢看你的身材
I don't...really like looking at your body.
我谢你! 这才是真的诚实
Thank you! That's honesty.
好了 下一个是谁 谁来?
All right. Come on. Who's next? Somebody.
我觉得没什么要说的了
I think we're done here.
你们为什么要去婚姻咨♥询♥?
Why are you in therapy?
事情很复杂
Well, it's, uh, complicated.
帕特! 别说了
Pat! Stop talking.
不!
No!
你难道看不出 咱们那一套爱尔兰天主教
Can't you see we're screwing up our kids
什么都不谈的方式要毁了咱家孩子了?
With our whole irish-catholic not talking about things?
艾琳 这事不能搪塞过去
We can't corned-beef this, Eileen.
这也是他们的人生
It's their lives, too.
好吧
Fine.
好吧!
Fine!
你们想知道为什么我俩去咨♥询♥?
You want to know why we're in therapy?
并没有
No. Mnh-mnh.
因为我做错了事 行吧?
Because I made a mistake, okay?
我们第二次约会的时候
On our second date,
我和你♥爸♥爸去了场外国佬乐队的演唱会
Your father and I went to a foreigner concert,
我洗了根大♥麻♥ 然后就怀上了吉米
I smoked a joint, and I ended up getting pregnant with jimmy.
啥?! 不是吧 外国佬乐队是谁?
What?! No way. Who's foreigner?
尽管我门彼此还不熟
And even though we didn't know each other very well,
但是我们还是为了做正确的事情而结婚了
We got married because we wanted to do the right thing.
然后我们还努力维持了... 一阵子
And we made it work... for a while.
但是现在再也进行不下去了
But it's not working anymore.
所以现在 我们想要离婚
And so now we're getting a divorce.
就这样
There.
我都说了
I said it.
我们并不完美
Look, we're not perfect, okay?
我也不想让孩子们觉得他们需要变得完美
I don't want them to think that they have to be, either.
哦 天呐
Oh, my god.
就是此刻
This was it.
这就是我要的时刻
This was my moment.
- 我... - 我有厌食症!
- I ... - I'm anorexic!
啥?!
What?!
哦! 是的 是的
Oh! Yeah. Yep.
是因为摔跤而起
It started because of wrestling,
但是现在我就单纯喜欢看着称上的数字一点点变小
But now I just like watching the numbers on the scale drop.
我是说 忍♥着不把这些布朗尼蛋糕
I mean, it is really hard
糊我一脸真的是很难
Not to shove those brownies in my face right now.
好了 吉米 好了 听着
Okay, Jimmy, well, hey, listen,
这个事我们可能需要进一步讨论
That's probably something we're gonna need to discuss further,
但是多谢你分享
But thanks for sharing.
我不知道这事算不算严重
I don't know if this is super-serious,
但是我收集到的钱一分都没捐给埃塞俄比亚
But I haven't sent any of that money to Ethiopia.
全部用来从赶集网上买♥♥了台二手车
I spent it all on a car I bought off craigslist.
- 啥?! - 有一个 "惊喜"
- What?! - Also a surprise.
真不敢相信他们就这样把车卖♥♥给了我这个14岁的孩子
I couldn't believe they sold it to a 14-year-old.
如果全额付现几乎想要什么都能买♥♥到
You can get anything you want if you pay all in cash.
现在是啥情况?!
What is happening here?!
呃... 我们只是...
Uh...we're just...
在展现真实的自我 艾琳
Being ourselves, Eileen.
好吧 好极了
Okay. Great.
现在大家都知道咱俩要离婚了
So now we all know that we're getting a divorce,
莎伦是个小偷 吉米不吃东西
Shannon's a thief, Jimmy doesn't eat.
那你呢肯尼? 你是什么情况?
What about you, kenny? Hmm?
你是入了黑帮吗?
You in the mob now?
还是在咱家地下室制冰♥毒♥?
You making meth in the basement?
我... 我是同性恋
I...I'm gay.
什么?
What?
我是同性恋 妈妈
I'm gay, mom.
啥?
What?
我想肯尼刚刚说他是同性恋
I think kenny said he's gay.
说了两次
Twice.
还有听起来你们俩好像要离婚了
And it also sounds like you're getting a divorce.
很不幸 这里音效卓绝
Unfortunately, the acoustics in here are amazing.
你们想要我把这个开着还是关上?
Do you want this open or closed?
我看还是关上吧
I'll close it.
如果我说出这事的时机不对 抱歉了
Sorry if I brought this up at a bad time.
不 是我开始的
No. I started it.
穿上 该走了
Put these on. We're leaving.
这件好像不是我的吧
I don't think this is mine.
现在你倒是在乎起偷东西了?
Now you care about stealing?
就这样
And there it was.
我妈妈一切努力付诸东流
After all my mom's hard work,
我们从教堂公告栏中的模范家庭
We'd gone from the perfect family in the church bulletin
变成了偷偷从后面溜走的家庭
to the ones sneaking out the back,
还要饱受爱评头论足的修女蔑视的眼神
getting dirty looks from judgy nuns.
艾琳!
Eileen!
听着 今晚还算不上完全的灾难
Oh, listen, tonight wasn't a total debacle.
尽管你家里的 呃 情况有些复杂
In all the confusion over your family's, um, situation,
拍卖♥♥提早结束了 我拍下了你们的木舟
bidding closed early, and I won your canoe.
替我好好照顾她
Take care of her for me.
一定的
Oh, I will.
我在想没准可以用来准点花花草草
I think I might use it as a planter,
比如西葫芦什么的
maybe grow some zucchini in there.
这150刀花的真值
Best $150 I've ever spent.
绝不能让那个婊砸得到我们的木舟
There's no way that bleeping is getting our canoe.
使点劲! 使点劲!
Use your core! Use your core!
他们追上来了
They're coming for us!
莎伦在浑水摸鱼!
Shannon is doing nothing!
我胳膊举不了那么高!
I can't raise my arms!
真该死 车在哪?!
Where the hell is the car?!
艾琳! 艾琳 别跑了!
Eileen! Eileen, stop!
继续跑
Keep going!
停! 停! 停!
Stop! Stop! Stop!
快点快点 放下来
Right now, right now. Stop. Put it down.
放下来 放下来!
Put it down. Put it down!
你们搞什么?
What are you doing?
很明显我也不知道!
I don't know! Obviously!
我刚刚从教堂偷了一艘小木船
I just stole a canoe from church,
里面的人都知道我们准备离婚
Everyone in there knows we're getting a divorce,
而且我儿子刚刚还告诉我他觉得他是...
And my own son just told me he thinks he's...
同性恋?
Gay?
他就是这么说的 我们都听见了 对吧?
That's what he said. We all heard him, right?
是啊 多谢提醒 吉米
Yes, thank you, Jimmy.
我知道你很抓狂
I mean, I knew you'd flip out.
那你还想我怎样?!
Well, what did you expect?!
你让我大吃一惊 你们都是!
You dropped a bomb. You all did!
另外 我们要把那辆车送到非洲去
We're sending that car to Africa, by the way.
太好了 正好我磨不掉车牌号♥
Good, because I couldn't grind off the vin number.
车越早脱手越好
The sooner it's off my hands, the better.
为何发生了这么多我却浑然不知?
How could all this happen without my knowing?
妈妈 向你坦白不容易
Mom, you don't make it easy.
等等! 别忘了这个!
Wait! Don't forget this!
各位 我懂的
Guys, I know
你们道恩叔叔和我离婚的时候
When your uncle Dwayne and I got divorced,
感觉像是到了世界末日
It seemed like the worst thing ever,
可看看现在的我
出柜家庭（2016）
The Real O'Neals
剧集 | 出柜家庭（2016） | 导航列表