出柜家庭（2016）

The Real O'Neals S01E07

Part 3 Aug. 27, 2020, 11:26 a.m.

In the same room together?
和老爸的胡子一起
With dad's mustache?
是的老爸的络腮胡就是老妈的胡子[伪装]
Yes, because dad's mustache is mom's beard.
beard,俚语里指为他人性向打掩护的伴侣;同妻/同夫
等等什么不！
Wait, what? No.
就一个晚上
It's just one night.
又不是世界末日
It's not the end of the world.
好吧我来告诉你
Well, let me tell you,
作为一个有个叫蜜蜜的同妻的人来说
As someone who had a beard named mimi,
那个真的很痒很不爽
That's gonna get itchy and bitchy real quick.
行了我懂了
Excuse me? - I get it, okay?
开始有点臭
It stinks a little bit,
但那只是因为我有一些食物掉在里面了
But it's just 'cause I got some food caught in it,
我拿不出来
And I can't find it.
肯尼斯·克里斯托芬·塞巴斯蒂安·奥尼亚
Kenneth christopher sebastian o'neal,
你已经16岁了
You are 16 years old.
你的大脑前页还没发育好
Your frontal lobe is not developed yet.
我比你有脑子多了
I have more brain than you do.
而我的脑子知道被那个女人颐指气使是什么感觉
And my brain knows what it's like to be judged by that woman.
好吧但我还是相信要把真♥相♥说出来
Well, I know that it's better to be out than in.
不管那个女人会对我做什么我都会接受了
And whatever that woman throws at me, I can take it.
我现在要睡了
And I'm going to bed.
你看起来想傻瓜的第八个老婆
You look like a mormon's eighth wife.
我不在乎我今天赚了124刀
I don't care. I made $124 today.
这事咋整
so, how is this going to work?
没多大点事
It's not a big deal.
就六个小时然后我妈就会走了
It's six hours, and then my mother goes home.
那下次她再来怎么办?
What about next time when she visits?
如果我搬到新居了我们该怎么和她说
What are we gonna do - when I live in a new place?
到时再说
We'll worry about that then.
如果你有了新男朋友? 要是我有了女朋友呢?
What if you've got a boyfriend? What if I've got a girlfriend?
到时我怎么和对方解释这样的夜晚
How am I gonna explain spending the night --
3P吗? 和我的前妻外加一个枕头
A threesome with my ex-wife and a pillow?
我想说的事肯尼是正确的
All I'm saying is that I think kenny is right.
我们为什么不能实话实说告诉她呢
I mean, why don't you just tell her?
肯尼不知道有一个麻烦的妈妈是什么状况
Kenny doesn't know what it's like to have a difficult mother.
不这是给我妈叫的车
No, the cab is for my mother,
我不知道该怎么说
And I don't really know how to phrase this,
是否可以派一个你们最...
But if you could send your most, um...
爱国的司机过来
Uh, patriotic driver.
- 一会儿见 - 那...
See you soon. - so...
妈妈早上好
Good morning, mom.
你的出租车马上就到了
Your taxi's on the way.
我想说能回家你一定很开心
I'll bet you're excited to be heading home.
是的
I am.
肯尼我想我是很高兴
And, kenny, I've decided I'm glad
你告诉我你是同性恋
You told me about being gay.
等等真的吗?
Wait. You are?
是的
Yes.
承认你有问题
Admitting you have a problem
是改正的第一步
Is the first step towards fixing it.
看来她有一个清单
Looks like she has a whole list.
不我也不太确定
Yeah, no, I'm not really sure
这不是那些那个掰正的事外婆
It's something that you can fix, grandma.
这就是一个件事情真的
Well, that's just the thing. It is.
比如当你觉得自己是同性恋时
For example, whenever you feel a gay impulse,
淋个冷水浴
Take a cold shower.
嗯我还是喜欢浴缸
Mnh-mnh. I prefer baths.
罗马人也是这样你知道最后的结局
So did the romans, and we know what happened to them.
同时用非惯用手写字这个习惯也能纠正过来
Also, write with your less dominant hand.
它能拨正你那个非要做同性恋的那一根筋
It'll fix that hinky wiring in your brain that makes you gay.
不好意思我还是不明白这事怎么能行得通
You know, again, I'm not really sure that's how it works.
可能最有效的是...
Perhaps most helpful...
我会送你去这里
I'm gonna send you to this.
额
Um...
变弯为直的野营
A gay conversion camp?
好野营听起来不错啊
Oh, camp sounds fun.
其它字眼有点奇怪
The rest seems a little odd.
你会和那些和你有同样问题的男孩一起在森林
You'll spend two weeks in the woods with other boys
度过两周
That have the same affliction you do.
这些异性恋的棉花糖也太好吃了吧
Mmm. These heterosexuals'mores are delicious.
但是太乱了我都弄到衣服上了
They're so messy. I got some on my shirt.
我也弄身上去了
I spilled, too.
咱们最好去湖边洗洗吧
We better go wash off at the lake.
- 好主意 - 你也赶紧来啊!
- Good idea. - Meet you there!
在森林里和一群基友呆上半个月?
Mm. Two weeks in the woods with a bunch of gay boys?
你说的很对呀
You're right.
我觉得这对我来说再好不过了
I think that's probably the best thing for me right now.
妈我觉得肯尼这个夏天都会很忙的
Uh, I think Kenny's gonna be very busy this summer, mom.
你们俩都没有认真对待这件事
I don't think either of you is taking this seriously enough.
好啦计程车已经在外面等你了艾格尼丝
All right. There's a cab out front for you, Agnes.
要不要在你走之前再亲亲我的小胡子呀?
How about one more mustache kiss before you go?
我哪都不去
I'm not going anywhere.
艾琳你显然应经放纵现状失控了
Eileen, you've let this situation get out of control.
直到我拯救了肯尼坠入地狱的灵魂之前
I'm staying here until I save Kenny's soul
我是不会离开的
from eternal damnation.
那得要多久啊?
What's the timeline on something like that?
可能几星期也可能几个月
Could be weeks. Could be months.
时间取决于这间房♥子里隐藏的罪恶的多少
It depends on how much sin is hiding in this house.
妈妈不能装这么久啊
Mom can't fake being married for that long.
妈你不能呆在这
Mom, you can't stay here.
你什么衣服都没带呢
You didn't even bring any clothes.
好样的
Good one.
我每天晚上洗洗高领毛衣
I'll wash out my turtleneck every night
再借点你的裤子就可以了呀
And borrow some of your panties.
现在来亲亲我吧
I'll take that mustache kiss now.
- 妈? - 别看我!
- Mom? - look away!
妈你在干嘛呢?
Mom, what are you doing?
我在厕所里吃基佬蛋糕
I'm eating gay cake on the toilet.
妈你必须把真♥相♥告诉奶奶呀
Mom, you have to tell grandma the truth.
我一生都在为
I have fought all my life
得到那个女人的一丁点赞赏而奋斗
for just a little bit of approval from that woman.
如果我现在告诉她我婚姻失败了的话
If I tell her now, that my marriage is a failure,
她就不会再表扬我了
That will never happen.
你可以的我来帮你呀
You can do this, and I can help you.
我都成功出柜三次了
I have successfully come out three times.
那你觉得哪一次最成功?
And which time do you think was the most successful?
是在整个教区面前出柜那次?
When you outed yourself in front of the entire parish?
还是你在学校公然抨击自己那次?
When you gay-bashed yourself at school?
还是你伤透奶奶的心那次?
Or when you broke grandma?
我有个好主意呀
I had a better plan.
我准备做你最喜欢吃的东西来打动你
I was gonna soften you up by cooking your favorite meal,
然后我就提一提
And then I was gonna mention all the famous people
所有你喜欢的是基佬的名人
You love who are gay.
啊? 谁?
What? Who?
我们现在不用知道
We don't need to do that right now.
乔治·克鲁尼?
George Clooney?
别说了我不想知道
Don't tell me. I don't want to know.
反正等我让你接受了
Anyway, once I got you used to the idea
你已经喜欢基佬的事实
That you already loved gay people,
我就告诉你我出柜的事情
I was gonna tell you about me.
你觉得这招对离婚也管用?
You think that would work for divorce?
嗯也许吧因为...
Well, it's got to, because...
至少这个蛋糕不会
This is not.
哎妈妈
Oh, mother.
这是水槽冰淇淋么?
Is that sink ice cream?
老妈啊
Mom
别吃了
Drop it.
她什么时候有时间?
When does she have the time?
太好了莎伦你来了
Good. Shannon, you're here.
什么这么臭?
What stinks?