瑞克和莫蒂（2013）

我差点就因为 我的姓氏很像康宝而不煮汤了
I almost considered not making it because my name is Campbell but,
但我决定要活在当下 找到自己的热忱所在
then I thought, stay in the moment, Joe. Follow your bliss.
你怎么会在这里？ 追溯连贯性说什么都没有了
How are you here? Rhett Caan said there was nothing.
神话的某些特色是永远不会变的 一定会有煮汤的老人
Some things never change about mythology. There's always an old man with soup.
说说看哪个故事没有
Name one story that doesn't have one.
－《杰克与豌豆》 －《边缘日记》
Jack and the Beanstalk. -Basketball Diaries.
－每一部《黑客帝国》 －每一部电影
Every Matrix. -Every movie ever.
好吧 我不需要跟你们多做解释
Alright, I don't have to defend myself to you people.
我的汤呢？
Where's my soup?
该死的前情提要？ 那混♥蛋♥怎么会在这里？
Previous Fuckin' Leon? Why is that prick here?
你们可说是半斤八两 朋友
No more a prick than you, friend.
后设角色会侵蚀现实
Meta characters erode reality.
但所有角色都是后设角色 瑞克
But all characters are meta, Rick.
每个角色都会被混乱滋养并吞噬
All of us are nourished and consumed by chaos,
就像在冰♥毒♥成瘾者胸前的新生儿
like newborns at the breast of a meth addict
搭乘着放满了叉子的救生艇
in a lifeboat filled with forks.
我知道你该怎么做了 瑞克 -清除坎伯的浏览器纪录吗？
I know what you have to do, Rick. -Scrub Campbell's browser history?
你要相信前情提要
Just trust Previous Leon.
你可以用前情提要送我们回家吗？
Could you Previously us a way home?
我很乐意试试看 -我想也是
I'll sure enjoy trying. -Yeah I bet you would.
瑞克没办法改变 莫蒂 改变就像是他的氪星石
Rick can't change, Morty. Change is what you might call his Kryptonite.
只不过他不是超人 比较像是懦夫
Except, instead of being super, he's, you know, kind of a pussy.
来吧
Let's do it.
《瑞克》前情提要
Previously on Rick.
－把他拉开… －天啊
Get off him! Get off him! -Oh boy.
他差点就把你杀死了 -好吧
He almost killed you! -Okay,
我很内疚 你算是被我激到决定尝试的
well I feel bad, I kind of pressured you into trying that.
－你说我是懦夫 －我说了我很内疚
You called me a pussy! -I said I feel bad!
这张地图能指引你们走到 富含叙事矿石的地区
This is a map to a region rich in narrative ore.
祝你们一切顺利
I wish you the best of luck.
快一点 莫蒂 我也很想帮忙 但我的发明之手可不能起水泡
Faster, Morty! I'd help but I can't blister my inventing hands.
－需要多久时间？ －好几年
How long will it take? -Years.
你们可以住在我的小木棚里
You can live in my wood shed.
－但天黑后不要开门 －为什么？
Just don't open the door after dark. -Why not?
快出来 犹太共♥产♥分子
Get out here you Communist Jews!
或许我没有酒精成瘾
Dude. Maybe I'm not an alcoholic.
我知道 -该死的《回到未来》抄袭版
I know, right? -You fucking Back to the Future ripoffs!
－准备好了 －瑞克 我应该留下来
It's ready. -Rick, I should stay.
－为什么？ －我怀孕了
Why? -I'm pregnant.
－你在干嘛？ －不是他 瑞克
What are you doing? -It wasn't him, Rick!
－不然是谁？ －是我
Then who? -Me.
我从没离开 但你得以为这一切发生了 才能做出那个
I never left. But you had to think all this happened to make that.
我可以拿这个穿越片头吗？ -只要抓紧就可以
And I can get this through the titles? -If you hang on tight.
我的胡子和还没出生的孩子呢？
What about my beard and unborn child?
全都放下吧
Let them go.
－谢谢你 提要 －瑞克 等你到家之后
Thank you, Leon. -When you get home Rick,
请展开一些像第一季那种经典的历险
do some classic adventures. Like season one.
我真是受够这该死的意见了 这到底是什么意思？
I'm so sick of that fucking note, what the fuck does it even mean?
好 最后再来一次 我的动机是什么？
Now. One last time. What's my motivation?
动机 这个机器会汲取全宇宙的人的动机
Motivation. This machine will syphon it from everyone in the universe.
太好了 亮绿灯 启动吧
Perfect. Greenlit. Launch it.
好像起作用了 很好 我感觉到了
I think it's working. Yes, I can feel it!
我总算做了能对别人造成影响的事
Something I did is actually affecting someone!
我不想工作了
I don't want to work anymore.
我想 但只是当作不练吉他的借口
I do, but only as an excuse to not practice guitar.
我们不如就在计分表上乱填数字吧？
Why don't we just write any number down on the score sheet?
干嘛要填？
Why even do that?
（自♥慰♥伙伴）
等等 还要注册？
Wait, you have to register?
太好了！我感觉到我充满了动机
Yes! I can feel it! I'm so motivated!
我想要很多东西
I want a lot!
故事时间结束
Story time's over.
这不是你能决定的
Hardly your decision.
你认真的吗？把加倍动机当作动机？
Did you seriously double down on motivation as your motivation?
这是很棒的点子 -没有那种东西
It's a good idea. -There's no such thing!
只有欢乐跟不欢乐 我们已经受够了
There's joyful and there's joyless. And we've had our fill of one.
莫蒂 让那个满身大汗的编剧住手 我要杀掉他的角色
Morty, make that sweaty writer stop working while I kill off his character.
我从来没有这么迫切地想摧毁某个人
I have never been more driven to destroy someone.
好 我很想降低我的血糖
Yeah well I'm driven to lower my blood sugar
但猜猜谁在教训完你之后会去吃墨西哥夹饼？
but guess who's getting tacos after he kicks your ass?
所以你身材很好 那又怎样？
So you're jacked, who cares?
－精♥液♥沟 －我不喜欢这个说法
Cum gutters. -I don't like that phrase.
我不接受指教
I don't take notes.
你无法打败我 瑞克
You can't beat me, Rick.
我的动机是你的一百万倍之多
I have one million times your motivation!
购物中心里的手♥机♥摊位店员也是
So do those guys with the cell phone kiosks at the mall.
头发不对 -你对授权才不会那么挑剔
The hair is wrong. -Like you'd be picky about licensing.
我其实会 我认为…
Actually, I would. I happen to believe that...
－这也行？ －有志者事竟成
You can do that? -You gotta want it.
快住手 我不想对你动手
Come on, just stop, I don't wanna fight you.
小朋友 我可是写出了成功作品的编剧
Kid, I'm a writer that wrote something successful,
你如果希望我放弃
so if you want me to give it up
你要有武道黑带或是一对大奶
you're gonna need a black belt or a big pair of tits.
我都没有 -就神话的角度来说 我两者都有
Yeah well I don't have those. -In the mythical sense, I have both.
乔瑟夫·坎伯？-少来了 他1980年代就死了
Joseph Campbell? -Yeah, nice try. He died in the eighties.
只有你看得到和听得到我 莫蒂
Only you can see and hear me Morty.
－照着我说的话讲 －好
Just repeat what I tell you. -Okay.
先生 你会以你的创作成功为荣 是因为你希望自己有创意
Sir. You're only proud of your creation's success because you want to be creative,
但创意不是透过把戏、科技和发行产生的
but creation doesn't happen through gimmicks, technology and distribution.
也不是透过努力产生的
It doesn't even happen through work.
创意其实跟精神疾病很接近 甚至与之相重叠
Creativity is frankly adjacent to mental and overlaps with it substantially.
很多有才华的人都自杀了 所有有才华的人都很悲惨
A lot of talented people kill themselves and all of them are miserable.
其实没有才华才是最好的
The real gift is to be ungifted,
我看过你写的《绿箭侠》待售剧本
and from what I saw in your Green Arrow spec script,
你确实很没有才华 -你不可能看过
that's the gift you were given. -You couldn't have seen that.
我是乔瑟夫·坎伯 我看过了
I'm Joseph Campbell. I saw it.
那个反派只是暂时保留而已 -我只是说我看过 詹
The villain was a placeholder. -I said I saw it Jan,
我没说我有看超过五页 问题并不在于你的反派
I didn't say I could get past page five. Your villains aren't the problem.
问题在于你写作的时候 你就是反派
The problem is, when you write, you're a villain.
你如果想当英雄 就快住手
If you want to be a hero, just stop.
这样吧？我来注册好了
You know what? Maybe I will register.
第五季第1集
快说 说我是新的宁波先生
Say it! Tell me I'm the new Mr. Nimbus!
看来你的编剧停下来了 -该死
Oh looks like your writer took a hiatus. -Oh fuck.
你现在没动机打架了 所以变成是我单方碾压
You're less motivated to fight now so this is literally punching down
但是你活该
but you've got it coming.
拜托你饶我一命 我保证会变得更酷
Please, lemme live. I promise to be cooler.
我不会那么爱讲行话 我还可以改名字？
I'll be less inside baseball, maybe I change my name?
你辜负了我 -不对 是我辜负了你
You failed me. -No, I failed you.
所有美好的事物终会结束
All good things must come to an end.
所有不好的事物也是 你少臭美了
All bad things too though, so don't flatter yourself.
詹 乔瑟夫·坎伯说 得由你来杀了他
Jan, Joseph Campbell says you have to be the one to put him down.
等等…乔瑟夫·坎伯还说
Wait wait wait, Joseph Campbell also says
你得用这个全新的限♥量♥版瑞克娃娃
you have to use this brand new limited edition Rick plush,
只能在＂瑞克－娃娃.biz＂买♥♥到
available only on Rick dash plush dot biz.
－数量有限 请尽速抢♥购♥ －真的吗？
Supplies are limited. Act now. -He did?
天啊 我再也不要跟瑞克买♥♥玩具了
Jesus, that's the last time I buy a toy from a Rick.
这娃娃做工显然很好
The plushies are obviously well made.
谢谢你让我们又活过来 瑞克
Thanks for getting us back alive, Rick.
我在这两个世界都是大♥师♥ 莫蒂
Well, I am a master of both worlds Morty.
乔瑟夫·坎伯叫我别再创作了
Joseph Campbell told me to stop writing.
因为创作应该要很自然
Because it should be effortless.
等我能自然而然创作 才是命中注定
When it happens organically, that's when it's meant to be.
就像我
Y'know, like, like me.
我是编剧 这是一只铅笔 编剧会用铅笔
I'm a writer, here's a pencil. Writers use pencils.
好 那如果变成铅笔用我呢？
Okay so like what if like a pencil used me?
就像…好 对 很好
Like okay. Yeah. Okay.
有一支魔法笔会写下编剧的人生
so it's like a magic pencil that writes the writer's life.
天啊 是关于编剧的电影
holy shit, it's a movie about a writer!
我回来了！
I am back!
好耶 我是彩蛋人 我住在彩蛋里面
Yeah! I'm Tag-Man. I live in the tag.