瑞克和莫蒂（2013）
Rick and Morty S06E06
Part 4
Oct. 11, 2022, 7:45 p.m.
Chernobyl blowing up
致癌石棉在蒙大拿州
Asbestos in Montana
亚特兰大
Atlantic City
二型糖尿病
Type 2 diabetes
深水钻油
Deepwater deeply blew it
巨型垃圾岛
Giant garbage island
蜜蜂快死完了
And all the bees are dying
去死吧恐龙们
Fuck off and die-nosaurs
可能是我磕了摇♥头♥丸♥吧 但是瑞克我太他♥娘♥的♥爱你了
Maybe it's the Molly, but I fucking love you, Rick.
摇♥头♥丸♥药效发作了
It's the Molly.
这样挺好对吧?
Isn't this nice?
咱俩摒弃前嫌 恐龙也离开了
Rivalries behind us, dinos gone,
你我两人享受当下
two cool guys living in the moment.
那个 咳咳
So, uh, like, uh
你知道该怎么穿吧?因为-
you know what you're gonna wear? Because --
只能一个人上 不准带搭档
I can't get another plus-one.
什么啊?!操!是我把你弄上去的啊!
What?! I'm the one who got you the gig, you son of a bitch!
我感觉这张餐巾-
I feel this napkin --
这张餐巾-
Feel this napkin.
好软
So soft.
欢迎来到第95届奥斯卡颁奖典礼
This is the 95th annual Academy Awards.
大家鼓掌欢迎主持人
Now, please welcome your host,
一位赶走了恐龙的老科学家
an old science guy who got rid of the dinosaurs...
瑞克·桑切斯
Rick Sanchez.
好莱坞的白左门 给老子舔咪♥咪♥
Suck my gray tits Hollywood pinkos.
麦克风呢?
Where's the mic?
缓缓升起的麦克风呢?
The -- The -- The raising mic?
快起来!
Bring it up!
汤米呀
Tommy.
汤姆·汉克斯也来了
Tom Hanks is here.
来嘛 表演一个嘛
C'mon. Do it.
来嘛
Come on.
表演一个嘛
Do ittttt.
行行行 下不为例哈
Okay, okay, one time.
"威尔逊"!
"Wilson!"
电影《荒岛余生》
我是奥斯卡主持瑞克
I'm Oscar host Rick.
外公瑞克 真的太不可思议了
Grandpa Rick, this is so cool.
麦克风那招帅瞎眼了
That microphone bit killed.
我不是跟你说过吗
Yeah, told you it would.
难道都是演的?
That was all scripted?
奥斯卡颁奖典礼全是演的
Every moment at the Oscars is.
去年那一巴掌也是
Even that one thing
我顺手牵羊拿了个购物袋
Look who stole themselves a swag bag.
操 Sprinkles蛋糕购物券 -咱俩平分
Ah, fucking Sprinkles coupon! -We're splitting that.
悼念去世影人的环节加上恐龙会不会很有节目效果
Hey, so I was thinking it might be funny to add dinosaurs to the "In Memoriam."
算了 不上档次
Eh, it feels beneath us.
它们走了我们却不在乎更有节目效果点
It's funnier that they left and we don't even care.
它们是走了 但是一直想吸引我们的注意
Oh, yeah, they left, but they keep begging for attention.
你们不知道吗?
You haven't heard?
恐龙现在正在火星上
The dinos are just standing up there on Mars
手握自己的屌♥
with their dicks in their hands.
戏真多惹
So dramatic.
什么?它们准备让陨石把自己砸死吗?
What, they're just gonna let the meteor hit them a-and die?
太好了 高高在上的人总会死掉
renGood. If being superior to everyone makes you die,
这叫因果报应
I call that balance.
都写在我全球发行的书里了
It's all in my globally published book
可惜被恐龙给剥夺了署名权!
the dinos stripped my name from!
奥斯卡到此为止
Oscars are over.
我的车钥匙呢?
Where are my keys?
操 我得赶快修好传送枪
God damn it, I need to fix portal travel.
我会修的 但不是一蹴而就的
And -- And I'm going to. I have a process.
我们最后的善举
Our final act of kindness.
很荣幸与你们一起为神圣的生命服务
It's been an honor serving the sanctity of life with you all.
瑞克 你干什么啊?
Rick, what are you doing?
和你们一起并肩站着
Standing here with you guys.
你犯不着这样
You don't want to do that.
我们在牺牲自己呢
We're sacrificing ourselves here.
我也在牺牲自己
Then so am I. Y'know?
马斯克要气死了 我们来炸火星
Elon Musk be damned, we're blowing up Mars.
才不是 我们牺牲是出于无私
No. We're doing something selfless.
你是出于小肚鸡肠
You're doing it out of pettiness.
有什么区别啊?
How is anyone supposed to know the difference?
就当咱这是圣母博弈呗
Consider it a game of virtue chicken.
你不走的话 我们送你走
Okay, if you won't go, we'll make you go.
对不起哦 我给自己做了防护 气死你们
Oh. Sorry. I-I dino-proofed my tech to spite you guys.
更加说明无私和自私
Which further proves selflessness and selfishness
不过是同一枚硬币的两面罢了
are two sides of the same coin
所以有什么意义呢?
so what's the point?
你们生命的最后一刻是在火星上和我这个老逼一起过 太好了
Fine. Cool with me that your final chapter is dying on Mars with an old dickhead.
太好了!欢迎回来
All right! Welcome back.
你个招人嫌的老逼!
You obnoxious little twat!
骂归骂 你们还活着哦
Yeah, but you're alive.
在我的宇宙里修想学大卫·福斯特·华♥莱♥士♥自杀
No David Foster Wallace-ing in my galaxy.
著名美国作家 46岁自杀
你们还没聪明到可以自寻短见的地步
You don't get to be so smart that you remove yourself from everybody.
我们都是神一般的存在 不用谢了
From one god being to another, you're welcome.
你帮我们 那我们就帮帮你
Well, as long as we're doing each other favors...
等下等下 你们干什么啊?
Hey. Wait, wait, wait. What are you doing?
你把裂缝给关上了?
You fixed my rift?
一群虚伪的贱种
You fucking hypocritical cocks.
裂缝是很重要的主线元素啊
I-It was all canonical and shit.
就着裂缝都能写个一整季的
We coulda milked that thing for a whole season.
至少也能出个三集吧
O-Or, like, a three-episode arc at least.
抱歉哦 我们就是这样
Sorry. That's just us.
爱助人为乐
We love helping,
谁叫咱们都是神一般的存在呢
god beings to god being.
搞鬼啊!我本来准备把裂缝补好的
Seriously. I was gonna fix that.
操 它们回来了
Shit. They're coming back.
能把空调打开吗?
Can we turn on the A.C.?
外面热得像有1000度的样子
It's, like, a thousand degrees outside.
啊!新的粉丝
Yes! New follower.
叫…加密货币换脚照?
Named... CryptoForBareToes?
看不太懂 不过好像有利可图的样子
Not sure I get it, but sounds like business.
老妈为你感到自豪
Proud of you, honey.
爸还好吧?
Is Dad okay?
嗯 我-
Yes. I'm just...
在写第二本书
writing my second book.
不知道该写些什么
I don't know what it's gonna be about,
但是我可以告诉你
but I can tell you one thing
书名是
The title is
《杰瑞史密斯呈现：杰瑞史密斯的书》
"Jerry Smith Presents: A Book by Jerry Smith."
第一章
Chapter one...
操!
Fuck!
莫蒂 快滚来车♥库♥里!
Morty, get your ass in the garage!
呼哈!你看
Hoo-ha! Check it out.
一个帽子戴人的宇宙
A -- A dimension where hats wear people.
我做到啦!我把传送枪修好了
I did it! I fixed portal travel.
我去
Oh, shit.
外公带你去度假
Figured my guy deserves a vacation.
奶♥子♥世界!
Boob World!
猜对啦
You're damn right.
本周是乳晕周哦
And it's Areola Week.
太好啦!
All right!
传送门来了 又有那个味了!
Good old-fashioned portal fun.
对哦 像这样
Yep. Like this.
接下来几集♥会♥有经典的冒险哦 莫蒂
It's gonna be classic episodes, Morty.
我要吐了 瑞克!
Oh, I'm gonna puke, Rick!
传送门进去
Portaling in.
搞搞破坏
Wrecking shit
再传送门出来 莫蒂
portaling out, Morty.
我的天呀 冒险耶 莫蒂
瑞克和莫蒂（2013）
Rick and Morty
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