瑞克和莫蒂（2013）

－天啊 －天啊
Aw, geez. - Aw, geez.
－过来 －天啊
Come here. - Aw, geez...
－过来 －天啊
Come here. - Aw, geez...
－天啊 －天啊
Aw, geez. - Aw, geez.
－那是谁 －她的角色名叫玛塔
Who is that? - Her video game name is Marta.
好 这样我就有办法处理了
Okay. See, this I can work with.
"偷偷摸摸、爬通风管 效仿《虎胆龙威》"
"Sneak around. Crawl in some vents. Do a Die Hard."
滚球
天啊 好恶心
Oh, my God, it's disgusting!
其实很好吃
Actually, it tastes really good.
天啊 竟然很好吃 好恶心
Oh, my God, it's disgusting that it tastes good!
法兰克 你找到他了吗 请回报
Frank, have you found him? Report.
是对讲机 这很《虎胆龙威》
Oh, walkie-talkie. That's Die Hard.
就算没看过也猜得到
Don't have to see it to know that.
我是强斯 我再问一次 你找到他了吗
This is Jons. I repeat, have you found him?
中断‥对讲机
Breaker, breaker. Walkie-talkie.
我拿到你的对讲机了 混♥蛋♥
I got your walkie-talkie, bitch.
你在学《虎胆龙威》吗
Are you doing a Die Hard?
有可能
Maybe?
你是不是也在学
Are you also?
差不多 我的手下法兰克呢
More or less. And my associate, Frank?
你的手下法兰克 绝对不是在学《虎胆龙威》
Your associate Frank is definitely not doing a Die Hard.
他可能是在学鼠胆鼠萎
You might even say he's doing a "Die Easy."
因为我杀了他 他一下就死了
Because I killed him and it wasn't difficult.
冷静点 温斯洛
Calm yourself, Winslow.
温斯洛
Winslow!
能遇见《虎胆龙威》同好很不容易 请问怎么称呼
It's not every day one meets a fellow Die Hard enthusiast, Miss...
－叫我《虎胆龙威》吧 －好 《虎胆龙威》
Call me "Die Hard." - Okay, "Die Hard."
请问你对《虎胆龙威》有什么了解
Tell me, what do you know about... Die Hard?
你问这个干吗 你在写关于《虎胆龙威》的书吗
What do you care? You writing a book about Die Hard?
我其实已经写过好几本了
As a matter of fact, I've written several.
太空各地每个有知觉的文明
Every sentient civilization across the galaxy
终究都会开♥发♥出同样的神话
eventually develops the same myth.
在半人马座叫《塔人》
In Centauri, it's known as "Tower Man."
猎户座有《桑伯格循环》
The Orionese have their "Thornberg Cycle."
在仙女座叫
And in Andromeda, it's called
《你以为自己能杀人太蠢了》
"Foolish to Have Imagined You'd Be Able to Kill."
这些都是《虎胆龙威》
All of them what you'd call Die Hard.
差别只在于有些文明
The difference being that cultures like mine
很清楚《虎胆龙威》的重要性 但我也开始质疑
are aware of its importance whereas I'm starting to doubt
你连一句台词都背不出来
you could even recall a single line.
对讲机《虎胆龙威》 混♥蛋♥
Walkie-talkie Die Hard, motherfucker.
不久之前 孙子教才刚被列为
Not so long ago Grandsonism was being dismissed
末日邪教
as a doomsday cult
但因为世界上大部分的人都认定
but since a majority of the world
自己其实很喜欢自♥慰♥和玩游戏
decided, "Hey, you know what? We like jerking off and playing video games
而且我们的姐姐在外面对抗恐♥怖♥分♥子♥
and our sister is out there fighting terrorists"
所以发生了很大的改变
major strides have been made.
全世界都团结一心
The world is united
因为我们加起来就是14岁的莫迪
because the world is one 14-year-old boy, Morty.
但这一切都是从何而来
But where is it all coming from?
有些人说孙子教领袖罗伊
Some say Grandsonism's leader, Roy
在这附近的山里有个秘密基地
has a secret base somewhere in these mountains.
我找不到
I couldn't find it.
所以我就拿着麦克风
So, I'm standing in the general area
随便找个地方站着
with a microphone.
《够好新闻》记者东尼报导
For Good Enough News, I'm Tony.
我的得力助手莫迪来了
There she is, my right-hand Morty.
太空船够多了吗
Got enough spaceships?
还没 我觉得再过五年的游戏时间
Not yet. I figure five more years of game time
我应该就能带所有假人口 前往假外太空了
before I can take the whole fake population into fake outer space.
我们要到外太空做什么
What do we do in outer space?
没做什么 那太空是假的 我们要一直前进
Nothing. It's fake. We keep going.
游戏的地图是有边界的
The game's map has edges
但游戏的引擎会让我们超越边界
but the game's engine will let us go past them.
这样就会强迫游戏重设 但游戏会先把我们赶出去
That will force the game to reset, but first, it will kick us out
莫迪应该能活下来
which Morty should survive.
也就是我们太空船上的莫迪
I mean, whatever amount of Morty we have onboard.
所以你如果没有 五十亿条泡了氯仿的手帕
So, if you don't have five billion handkerchiefs soaked in chloroform
希望你可以继续说服笨蛋相信我们
I hope you can keep flipping idiots to our cause.
他们不是笨蛋 外公 他们是我
They're not idiots, Grandpa. They're me.
等我们回到外面 你就会知道这有多好笑
You'll know how funny that is when we get back.
对了 我请人把你的天才爸爸接来了
By the way, I had your genius of a father picked up.
－他在那边 －什么 为什么
He's over there. - What? Why?
我以为你会感激我呢
I thought you'd be grateful
比起放任他死去 接他过来你能更专心
and less distracted than if I let him die.
他自从丧妻之后状况就很差
He's been in real bad shape since he lost his wife.
－我妈吗 －你的假妈妈
My mom? - Your not-at-all-real mom.
游戏里面的妈妈
A mom in a video game.
被你的一小部分占据
Occupied by a tiny fraction of yourself.
你的那一小部分已经永远死亡
A fraction of yourself which is now dead forever
但所谓积少成多 所以我就请人把你♥爸♥接过来
and fractions add up, so I had your dad brought here.
不客气 你这没血没泪的禽兽
You're welcome, you heartless monster.
玛塔 是爸爸
Marta, it's me, Dad.
我为你改信这个教了
I converted for you.
我叫莫迪 你也是
My name is Morty. So is yours.
你不用改信 我们都是莫迪 这是事实
And there's no conversion, we're both Morty, it's a fact.
好 女儿 你说得都对
Sure, honey, anything you say.
我不想吵架 我以你为荣
I don't want to fight. I'm proud of you.
你是不是生我气了
Are you mad at me because before you became
因为在你成为世上第一女强人前
the world's most powerful woman
我骂你的发型很丑 还骂你是放荡的无业游民
I shamed you for your haircut and called you a slutty jobless hobo?
如果是我 应该会有点生气
If I were you, I'd be a little mad about that.
你就是我 我♥干♥吗生自己的气
You are me and why would I be mad at myself?
有道理 这里有东西吃吗
Good point! Is there anything to eat around here?
休息室有小厨房♥
There's a kitchenette in the break room.
小厨房♥啊 真高级的待遇
Oh, a kitchenette you say, such red carpet treatment.
－你说什么 －谢谢 我很开心
Excuse me? - I said thank you, I love it. We...
我们都是莫迪的一部分
We're all part of Morty!
但其中有些部分更重要
Some of us more important parts than others...
我爸的那部分莫迪是个混帐
Man, the part of me that's my father is a twat.
这在我们回到外面后也会很好笑
That's also gonna be funny when we get back.
你下次想学《虎胆龙威》时
Next time you try to do a Die Hard...
别学《虎胆龙威》主角躲在长桌底下
don't hide under a long table like the guy from Die Hard.
好 我不会的
Okay, I won't.
《中富典范》
你不是说她不懂 怎么学《虎胆龙威》吗
I thought you said she doesn't know how to do a Die Hard!
－她确实不懂 －她把我们一个个杀死了
She doesn't. - She's killing us off one by one!
不然你以为 她会买♥♥冰淇淋请我们吃吗
What do you expect her to do? Buy us each an ice cream,
还是两球的 她在即兴发挥
two by two? She's improvising.
这样她就会落入我们的圈套
Which is how she's going to fall right into our trap.
我要拿武器到处乱晃
I'm going to wander the arcade unarmed
她遇到我的时候 我就假装当人♥质♥
and when she comes across me, I'll pretend to be a hostage.
因为她没看过《虎胆龙威》
And because she hasn't seen Die Hard
所以她不会拿没子弹的枪给我 她会拿‥
instead of handing me an unloaded gun she'll hand me a...
《虎胆龙威》
Die hard... die hard!
你搞什么
What the hell was that?
《虎胆龙威》
Die hard... die hard!
你不能一直 对着对讲机喊《虎胆龙威》
You can't just keep yelling "Die Hard" into a walkie-talkie and...
她把对讲机丢掉了
She threw her walkie-talkie away!
她很讨厌《虎胆龙威》
She hates Die Hard
那她就是真正的麦克莱恩
which makes her the ultimate McClane.
把关于《虎胆龙威》的事全忘了
Forget everything you know about Die Hard...
快去杀死那个臭女人
and just go shoot that bitch!
谢谢你答应跟我见面 罗伊先生
Thank you for meeting with me, Mr. Roy.
全国有一半的人都很听你的话
Half the country hangs on your every word.
全世界大部分的人都是
Heck, most of the world.
你就像是某种教宗
You're like kind of a pope, I reckon.
我不是教宗 因为这不是宗教
I'm not a pope because it's not a religion.
我们在一个游戏里面
We're literally in a video game.
我听过你的教义了 罗伊 你不用对我传教
I've heard the message, Roy, you're not on the clock here.