柏拉图关系（2023）

我写了40页 - 哇
I wrote 40 pages. - Wow.
现在我得想个方式让郊狼
Now I need to find a way for Coyote to file an injunction
对毒蛇工业申请禁令,即使...
against Viper Industries, even though--
天啊,有狗,家裡有一隻狗,是流浪狗
Oh, my God! There's a dog. There's a dog in the house. A stray dog.
不,我们在当牠的中途家庭
Yeah. No. We're fostering him.
什麽?你没想过要跟我讨论吗?
What? Did you not think to run this past me?
当中途就是这样,就像租车
That's what fostering is. It's like renting a car.
我们要帮牠取名为华生 - 什麽? 为什麽?
We're gonna call him Watson. - What? Why?
因为夏洛克 - 那为什麽不叫牠夏洛克?
Because of Sherlock. - Why not call him Sherlock?
因为夏洛克是我
Because I am Sherlock.
洁西帕想骑华生
Jessipa wants to ride Watson.
不,洁西帕是蜥蜴,牠不能骑华生
No, no. Jessipa the lizard is not gonna ride Watson.
我要去楼上的厕所... - 拜託啦
I'm gonna go to the toilet upstairs... - Please?
嘿,但妳会读这些页数吗?
Hey, but you're gonna read these pages?
好,我儘量 - 太好了,谢谢妳
Yes, I will do my best. - Excellent. Thank you.
你做得很好 - “那个国家,或任何
You did really good. - "That nation or any nation
有同样理念和信念的国家,能否...” - 别跟着我上楼
so conceived and so dedicated can..." - Don't follow me. Not up here.
我说过,除了基本方桉外还要有灯串
I asked for the string lighting in addition to the basic package.
对,我希望氛围更亲密一些
Yeah, I wanted the feel to be more intimate.
我眼前就是那封我要求要有灯串的信
I have the email right in front of me where I asked for the string lighting.
好,那我去找别家吧
Okay. Well, then I'm gonna take my business elsewhere.
我也这样想,非常谢谢你
That's what I thought. Thank you very much.
妳开口,所以妳得到了
You asked and you got.
拜託,开什麽玩笑? - 好,不要...
Come on. Are you kidding me? - Okay. Let's not...
妳是“不开口就得不到”活生生的例子
You're a living example of "don't ask, don't get."
我亲眼见证了
I just saw it happen.
梅森说派对上
Mason wanted to make sure
一定要有单一村庄的梅斯卡酒
that there's Single Village mezcal at the party.
他为什麽跟你说?
Why's he asking you that?
我不知道,他传讯息跟我说的
I don't know. He just texted me and asked me.
你跟他私下联络吗?
You started, like, a back channel with him?
我没跟他私下联络
I didn't start a back channel with him.
妳跟他说我们是伙伴
You told him that we're partners.
所以他才传讯息跟我说
So he texted me and asked me.
好,那你把我加入对话
Okay. Well, yeah, put me on the text chain.
妳要我把妳加入对话?
You want me to put you on the text chain?
我必须经手所有决策 - 好
I need to be across all these decisions. - Okay.
这样有点像硬要加入跟妳没关的对话
It's a little bit like butting into a conversation that you're not a part of.
但要加就加吧
But I guess I'm gonna do it.
来,加入希薇亚 - 别这样
Yo, adding Sylvia. - Come on.
好了,砰 - 谢谢,我必须加入对话
Here we go. Boom. - Thank you. I need to be on this chain.
我一开始就应该加入 - 是啊
I should've been in the first place. - You should've.
你为什麽没让我加入? 为什麽要我自己要求?
Why didn't you put me on? Why do I have to ask?
来了,“好期待一起合作”
Here we go. "So excited to be working together!"
全部大写加惊叹号♥ - 对,我在炒热气氛
All capitals, exclamation mark. - Yeah. I'm pumping it up.
“有任何需要,都可以跟我说”
"If you need anything, feel free to give me a ring!"
全部大写加惊叹号♥ - 我在展现专业和热情
All capitals, exclamation mark. - I'm being professional and enthusiastic.
妳简直像在放声大叫,很夸张
You're screaming at the top of your lungs. This is crazy.
这叫热情
It's enthusiasm.
干嘛?怎样?
What? What?
梅森刚刚传讯息问我“希薇亚是谁?”
Mason just texted me, "Who's Sylvia?"
拜託,不可能 - 真的
Come on. He did not. - He did.
他见过我两次了 - 对不起
He's met me twice now. - I'm sorry.
我不知道该跟妳说什麽
I don't know what to tell you.
怎样?你在笑什麽? - 没事,只是...
What? What are you laughing at? - It's nothing. It's...
是个迷因,他传迷因给我
It's a meme. He sends memes.
他很爱迷因 - 给我...让我看看
He loves memes. - Give me... I need to see this.
手♥机♥给我,对,我要看 - 妳要看迷因?
Give me your phone. Yes, I do. - You wanna see the meme?
天啊,好吧,只是个蠢迷因
Jesus Christ. Okay. It's just stupid memes.
天啊,他传了好多讯息给你
Oh, my God. He sent you, like, dozens of these.
一大堆迷因,有时候满好笑的
Tons of memes. Pretty funny memes too sometimes.
真的吗?你觉得好笑? - 是啊
Really? You think that's funny? - Yes. I do.
那是海绵宝宝把蛋蛋放到章鱼哥嘴裡
That's SpongeBob teabagging Squidward.
哪有不好笑? - 拜託
What's not funny about that? - Come on.
客观来说很好笑啊 - 什麽?
That's objectively funny. - What?
拜託,妳开什麽玩笑?
Come on. Are you kidding me?
妳干嘛这麽往心裡去?
Why are you taking this so personally?
你能解释一下 为什麽不会往心裡去吗?这个溷蛋
Can you explain to me exactly what isn't personal about this loser
完全忽视我,还忘记我的名字
completely ignoring me and literally not remembering my name
明明就见过好几次了
after several face-to-face meetings?
听着,妳太敏感了
Look, you are being too sensitive.
他把我当成助理,要我准备梅斯卡酒
He's treating me like his assistant, asking me for mezcal.
难道妳希望他把妳当成助理吗?
Would you rather he treated you like his assistant?
我觉得很有意思,你竟然能跟这个
I find it very interesting that you're able to be friends
大溷帐当朋友 - 他不是溷帐
with this absolute asshole. - He's not an asshole.
他是 - 他只是个小屁孩,好吗?
He is. - He's a fucking kid, okay?
什麽?怎样? - 又是迷因
What? What is it? - It's another meme.
没什麽 - 给我看
Come on. - Show it to me.
好,妳看,是一个修女
Okay, look. It's a nun.
上面写“关我鸟事” 因为修女没碰过男生的鸟
It says, "Zero fucks given." 'Cause nuns, you know, they don't fuck.
好,很好笑,传给我
Okay, that's funny. Send that to me.
梅森葛兰德,他本人有多性感?
Mason Grand. How sexy is he in person?
妳有听到我说的吗? 他是个性别歧视的溷帐
Did you hear what I just said? He is a sexist piece of shit.
真糟糕
That sucks.
尤其因为《少年达西》很女性主义
Especially because Young Darcy is such a feminist.
害我看不下去这齣戏了
It's gonna ruin the show for me.
还有,威尔的反应却好像认为我才是疯子
And meanwhile, Will's acting like I'm the crazy one
因为我想从那个溷蛋身上得到一点尊重
for wanting a modicum of respect from this jerk.
威尔当然不会懂
Of course Will's not gonna understand.
男生不会理解的 而且他还跟名人成了朋友
Guys never do. And he gets to be friends with a celebrity.
我该怎麽做?
What should I do?
什麽都不用做,拿了钱就跑
Nothing. Just take the money and run.
对 - 妳看我拿到什麽
Yeah. - Look what just came in.
“不开口就得不到” - 好,那是什麽?
"Don't ask. Don't get." - Yeah. What is that?
这是我的“不开口就得不到”托特包
That is my "Don't Ask. Don't Get" tote.
我要送给参加妈妈老闆播客的来宾
I'm giving it out to guests on my Boss Mama pod.
我还要拿来卖♥♥,以唤起大众的关注
And I'm selling it to raise awareness.
关注什麽?
For what?
都可以啊
You name it.
(全新原创影集,《少年达西探桉记》)
兄弟,再次谢谢你的帮忙
Buddy, thank you so much again for this.
真是太棒了 - 也要谢谢妳
It's incredible. - Why, thank you.
很好玩
It's fun.
雷吉,也要谢谢你帮了这麽多忙 - 不客气
Thank you as well, Reggie. For so much. - You're welcome.
在这裡办《少年达西探桉记》的活动
I mean, having Young Darcy Mysteries here,
帮我们品牌大大地加分
that shit is fire for the brand.
拜託,你干嘛这麽执着于那些? 这样真的很怪
Why are you obsessed with that shit, man? It's so fucking weird.
喂,你已经不在这裡工作了,好吗?
Yo, you don't work here anymore, okay?
你不能一直情绪勒索我
You can't emotionally abuse me all the time.
现在我是付钱的客人
Now I'm a paying customer
所以我比以前更有资格情绪勒索你
so I actually have more right to emotionally abuse you than ever.
老兄... - 嘿...兄弟,你好吗?
Dude. Dude! - Hey! Hey, what's up, man?
好棒的派对 - 梅森,老兄,你好吗?
Fantastic party. - Mason, what's good? What's good, man?
天啊,好酷的錶 - 对,是杰克宝
Oh, shit! That's a cool watch. - Yeah, Jacob & Co.
我现在戴着沛纳海
I'm just rocking my Panerai right now.
但是我最常戴的...是理察米勒的RM30
But my main piece... Richard Mille RM 30.
天啊...那是我最想要的錶,太神了
Oh, my... That's my grail watch. That's incredible.
我戴的是我奶奶的天美时 - 这种活动通常都
I'm actually rocking my nana's Timex. - You know, usually, these events are so,
很商业化又无聊,我常待五分钟就走了
like, corporate and lame and I'm here for five minutes then I get out of here.
但这次我很想留在这裡 - 太好了
But this, I actually wanna be here. - Nice.
我超喜欢的
So, this is like absolutely my thing.
你把氛围设计得很好,真谢谢你
You nailed this vibe. Thank you so much.
其实我做的只有带梅斯卡酒来
I mean, honestly all I did was bring the mezcal.
整场活动是希薇亚办的,都是她策划的
Sylvia threw this whole event. She organized everything.
整个氛围还满... - 好,我公♥司♥的人来了
The whole vibe was kind of-- - Okay, my reps are here.
所以我该走了,不过,老兄,你超神
So, I'm getting out of here. But dude, legend.
谢谢... - 谢谢
Thank you. Thank you. - Thank you.
谢谢你抽空过来
Thank you for the time.
呦
Yo!
我觉得那些话是对我们两个说的 - 少来
I think that was directed at both of us. - Don't.
绝对不是,只对你说而已