柏拉图关系（2023）

Platonic S02E03

Part 1 Sept. 9, 2025, 8:01 p.m.

她说你甚麽都不是?
So, she said you were nothing?
无错
Exactly.
会不会只是一时失言?
Is there a chance she just misspoke?
她绝对是失言
She misspoke, all right.
你明我意思
Well, you know I mean,
我也花了一段时间才摸清你和阿威的关係
it did take me some time to understand your relationship with Will.
可能她也在经历类似情况
Maybe she's just going through a similar thing.
别拿自己跟那个女人比较
Do not compare yourself to this woman.
她简直是妖妇
She's a monster.
天呀
Oh, my God.
乜事?你妈死了?
What? What is it? Did your mom die?
不是
No.
天呀,老公
Oh, my God, baby!
竟然终于发生了,我一直想像这个时刻
I can't believe this is happening. I've imagined this moment
想像了很多次,终于成真好多次
so many times and now it's happening. For so long.
终于实现了天呀
It's finally happening. Oh, my God!
我有得上《危险边缘》
I'm gonna be on Jeopardy!
天呀
My God!
天呀
Oh, my God.
《柏拉图男女》
“iRobot公♥司♥生产这部自走吸尘器”
"iRobot makes this self-propelled vacuum brand."
甚麽是Roomba? 正确
What is Roomba? Correct.
对了,提醒你们,今晚由爸爸哄你们睡觉
Guys, just a reminder that Daddy's doing bedtime tonight.
“这条横跨亚利桑那州与内华达州的水坝形成了米德湖”
"Lake Mead was made by this Arizona-Nevada dam."
甚麽是胡佛水坝?
What is the Hoover Dam?
爸爸,你大癫
You're going beast mode, Dad!
大癫大癫
Beast mode! Beast mode!
你们想知道点解由爸爸哄你们睡觉吗?
Do you guys wanna know why Daddy's doing bedtime?
因为他是我们爸爸?
Because he's our father?
以防你们将来问起,我的老朋友,百搭
Just so you don't ask questions later, one of my oldest friends, Wild Card,
要来洛杉矶庆祝阿威结婚
is coming to town to celebrate Will's upcoming nuptials.
算是一场男女溷合的单身派对
Kind of a coed bachelor party if you will.
你们想知他点解叫百搭吗?
Do you guys wanna know why he's called Wild Card?
不想
Nope.
因为以前我们一起的时候甚麽疯狂事情都有可能发生
Because when we used to get together, wild and crazy things would happen.
我们以前人称“史诗三人组”
People used to call us, and I quote, "an epic trio."
那些人是不是你们?
Were those people you?
我有事要请求你们,事先原谅
And one thing I need to ask of you, pre-forgiveness.
因为今晚肯定很狂野
'Cause you know tonight's going to be wild.
好如果她杀了人呢?
Sure. What if she kills someone?
有一次我们去滑雪,我记起了
One time we went on this ski trip, that's right,
百搭想沟滑雪教练
and Wild Card was trying to get with the ski instructor,
为了吸引她注意,他从吊椅跳下
and in order to get her attention he jumped from the chairlift
跌了6米,撞落冰面
twenty feet down to a sheet of ice.
你们妈咪当年是几有型
Your mum was pretty cool back in the day.
这件事关你有型乜事?
How does that make you cool?
别倒我米
Just let me have this.
好了,下一题,来吧
All right, next question, let's go.
(百搭)
(可能来不到吃早餐,要倾公事,噁)
真惨
Oh, no.
天呀,你来了
Oh, my God! You're right here!
骗倒你了天呀
You got got, girl. Oh, my God!
好高兴见到你好高兴见到你
So good to see you! So good to see you.
我真的只能留20分钟
I do actually have to leave in 20 minutes.
甚麽? 对,又骗倒你了
What? Yeah. You got got again.
各位观众,百搭
Ladies and gentlemen, Wild Card.
对
Yes.
这里所有人都觉得我们黐线对,我们很癫
Everybody here thinks we're freaks. I know, we are crazy,
因为真的是
'cause we are!
我忍♥不住了,今晚有甚麽计划?
The suspense is killing me, what is the plan for tonight?
好吧,阿威现在开车上来
All right, let's see. Will's driving up right now,
等他来到,我们可以去我酒店吃午餐
I figured maybe we grab lunch at my hotel once he gets up here.
对,学《广♥告♥狂人》,饮几杯马天尼
Yes. Knock back a couple of martinis, Mad Men style.
对
Yes.
很期待,之后呢?
Can't wait, what's next?
不知道,到时先知
I don't know. You'll see.
我要知道答桉,来吧
I need answers, come on.
订婚派对如何?
How was the engagement party?
我去不到,真的太可惜
I was so bummed I couldn't make it.
你真的不话我知?
You really not going to tell me?
典型百搭,攞命
Classic Wild Card. Oh, my God.
我去不了,阿威有没有生气?
Was Will pissed I couldn't make it?
不,那主要是女方家人
No, it was mainly her family.
我还未见过珍娜,真过意不去
I feel like a shithead I haven't met Jenna yet.
相信我,损失不大
Believe me, you ain't missing out on much.
大镬,乜事?
Oh, snap! What?
我也不是很熟悉她
I don't know her all that well,
但你明的,最紧要是她对阿威好
but you know, the important thing is that she's good for Will,
那才是重点
that's all that really matters.
拜託,讲我知,我是癫的
Come on, it's me here. It's the wild child.
拜託好吧,我告诉你
Come on. Okay. Can I tell you?
我跟她吃过饭
I hung out with her.
然后她超贱
And she's a bitch.
哗,搞错对...
Yeah! Yeah. Shit.
讲清楚,逐步来
Walk me through it, step it out.
她正眼望着我,话我甚麽都不是
She looked me square in the eye, and she told me I was nothing.
那真是奇怪,甚麽意思?
That's a weird thing to say. What does it even mean?
弊,你们势不两立
Oh, shit. You got mad beef.
真是大癫
This is crazy.
不,我不该讲的对
No. I shouldn't have told you all that. Yeah.
真不好意思,劲低庄,请不要对阿威讲
I feel bad. It's tacky. Please don't tell Will.
想后悔?
Walking it back, huh?
太迟了,你话阿威未婚妻是贱♥人♥
Too late, you called Will's fiancée a bitch.
不是
No.
我不想干预他们两个
I don't want to get in the middle of this relationship.
奥德莉那时就是这样差点连朋友都无得做
That's what happened with Audrey and it nearly cost us our friendship.
阿威很爱珍娜,那才是最重要
Will loves Jenna. That's all that matters.
对你不会跟他讲
Right. You're not gonna tell him
我话她是贱♥人♥吧?
I called her a bitch, right?
换着你是阿威,你不想知道自己好朋友
If you're Will, wouldn't you want to know if your best friend
觉得自己未婚妻劲贱吗?
thinks your fiancée's a total bitch?
拜託
Please.
你...不要提起
Just... You're not gonna mention it.
我会保守秘密...吗? 好了
Your secret's safe with me. Or is it? Okay.
说吧,你不会告诉他
Just say you're not gonna tell him.
“你不会告诉他”,不,我不会你不能...
You're not gonna tell him. No, I won't. You can't tell--
但我可以我不在乎
I mean, I can. I don't care.
对我讲,你不会告诉他
Just say to me that you're not going to tell him.
我不会讲谢谢
I'm not gonna tell. Thank you.
可能讲少少请不要讲
Maybe I'll just tell him a little bit. Please don't tell him!
讲了我就杀了你哗...冷静点
If you do I will kill you! Yo, yo. Chill.
没事的,我只是开玩笑
It's all good. I'm just fucking around.
我不会讲
I'm not gonna tell him.
又或者会?不知道
Or am I? I don't know.
我点解要叫她贱♥人♥?
Why did I call her a bitch?
因为你锺意乱讲话惹祸
Because you love the taste of your own foot.
告诉我应该点做,应该不去吗?
Just tell me what I should do. Should I not go?
我觉得如果我去了百搭爆响口的机会更大
I feel like Wild Card's almost more likely to tell Will if I'm there.
我知道了,我知你应该点
I've got it. I know what you should do.
点? 蓝精灵个“贱”字
What? Smurf the word "bitch."
乜话? 好
What? Okay.
记得蓝精灵讲话时甚麽都会说是“蓝精灵”
Do you remember how Smurfs used to say the word "Smurf" so much
用法完全矛盾,结果成个字失去意义
and in so many conflicting ways that it basically ceased to mean anything?
就那样
Do that.
所以要不停用“贱”字,用到烂为止
So just use the word "bitch" relentlessly until it just means nothing.
没错,如果操作得宜...
Exactly, and if you play it right,
阿威可能会觉得你叫他未婚妻贱♥人♥是称讚她
Will might even think you calling his fiancée a bitch was a compliment.
贱♥人♥,你好叻
Bitch, you're good.
贱♥人♥,你以为我不知道?
Think I don't know that, bitch, please.
救命,我好口渴
Oh, my God. I'm thirsty.
可以帮我贱罐汽水吗?