极品老妈

Mom S04E22

Part 2 Jan. 3, 2020, 10:31 p.m.

Yes, I invented something,
不我不会告诉你们是什么
and no, I will not tell you what it is.
那个谁呢你同母异父的弟弟
What about what's-his-name, your half-brother?
雷我不能去找他我刚认识他
Ray? I can't go to him. I just met the guy.
我不能找他帮忙
I'm not gonna hit him up for a favor.
你对他态度太冲了
You were also kind of a dick to him.
两个人都冲才能干起来
Takes two to dick.
用我的新发明就不用两个人
Not with my new invention.
为什么不让克丽丝蒂代理你
Hey, why not have Christy represent you?
这是个好主意她是个准律师
Oh, that's a good idea. She's almost a lawyer.
你们在说什么
What are you talking about?
我还没上法学院呢
I'm not even in law school yet.
我还得上体育课呢
I still have to take a gym class.
你妈妈又不是犯了谋杀案她只是欠了点钱
Your mom's not up for murder, she just owes some money.
国税局只想做个交易
The IRS just wants to make a deal.
他们不会让任何人坐牢的
They don't try to put anybody in jail.
他们让韦斯利·斯奈普斯坐牢了
They put Wesley Snipes in jail.
你没在帮忙温蒂
Not helping, Wendy.
只是他们夺走了我们好多动作片
It's just that they robbed us of so many action-packed movies.
你能做到的
You could do it.
你怎么看
What do you think?
你对税务了解吗
Do you know anything about taxes?
我知道你应该交税
I know you're supposed to pay them.
比我懂得多你被雇了
That's more than me. You're hired.
你怎么想
What do you think?
我能声称精神不正常吗
Can I plead insanity?
你可以声称自己是魔法精灵
You can plead you're a magical elf,
你依然欠他们一万八
you're still gonna owe them 18 grand.
我觉得我帮不上你妈妈
I don't think I can help you, Mom.
我没把你抚养成一个轻言放弃者
Hey, I did not raise you to be a quitter.
那句话前半段是对的
The first half of that sentence is correct.
克丽丝蒂我给你带了咖啡
Christy, I brought you some coffee.
谢谢
Thanks.
给我带了吗
Did you bring me one?
饶了我吧我只有一个裆
Give me a break, I only got one crotch.
澄清一下不过我今晚熬多晚
Just to be clear, no matter how late I stay up tonight,
明早也不会成为税务律师
I'm not gonna become a tax lawyer by tomorrow morning.
别这样说我相信你
Don't say that. I believe in you.
是吗谁在乎啊
Yeah, well, who cares?
好吧我知道怎么回事了
All right, I see what's happening here.
有人需要点正能量
Someone needs a little positivity.
也许这能帮上忙
Maybe this will help.
亚当让她停下
Adam, make her stop.
你猜怎么着
You know what?
这还真有帮助
This is actually kind of helping!
这是我去过的最不快乐的地方
This is the unhappiest place I've ever been,
我可是在好市多排队买♥♥过眼镜的人
and I've waited in line for eyeglasses at Costco.
别说了你让我很紧张
Stop talking. You're making me nervous.
你紧张什么又不是你有危险
What are you nervous about? Your neck isn't on the line.
我必须假装是个律师假装我们有理有据
Hey, I have to pretend to be a lawyer, pretend we have a case
假装这双长筒袜没有快高到我屁♥股♥上
and pretend these stockings aren't halfway up my ass.
抱歉让你们久等但我在吃流质饮食
Sorry to keep you, but I'm on a liquid diet
所有东西基本进去什么样出来什么样
and everything's coming out basically how it went in.
如果你身体不适我们可以改日再约
If you're not feeling well, we could reschedule.
没关系
That's okay.
我在下次内急之前还有十分钟
I've got ten minutes till the bell rings again.
哪位是普兰科特女士
So which one of you is Ms. Plunkett?
严格来说我们都是但她是被告
Technically we both are, but she's the defendant.
我是克丽丝蒂·普兰科特她的女儿兼法律顾问
I'm Christy Plunkett, her daughter and legal advisor.
好的
Okay.
好我看了你的报告
All right, I looked over your file and it appears
发现你过去三年没有申报收入
you didn't declare income for the last three years.
你能解释一下吗
Can you explain that?
我们可以
Yes, we can.
你不用站起来
You don't have to stand.
好但既然站起来了...
Okay, but while I'm up...
我们认为这是一个误会
We contend that this has been a misunderstanding.
我妈妈也就是邦妮·普兰科特
My mom, A.K.A. Bonnie Plunkett,
不知道她应该申报免租为收入
didn't know she was supposed to report free rent as income.
是的这是我第一次管理一座大楼
Yeah, you see, this is my first time managing a building.
我不知道该怎么做你懂的对吧
I wasn't aware of how it worked. You get that, right?
不懂
No.
你管理大楼之前做的是什么
So what did you do before you managed a building?
天啊那是很久以前了
Gosh, it's been so long.
我连早饭吃的什么都记不清
I hardly remember what I had for breakfast.
我早饭喝的是菠菜汁
I had spinach juice.
好吧先把过去三年放一边
All right, let's set aside the last three years.
太好了
Great.
国税局更担心的是
What is of more concern to the IRS is
你从1996年开始就再没有
the fact that you haven't filed taxes since...
报过税
...1996.
克丽丝蒂
Christy?
怎么了
Yeah?
代理我啊
Represent me.
鉴于这个最新信息
In light of this new information,
政♥府♥本该在发现阶段就公布...
which the state should have disclosed during discovery...
这不是庭审
This isn't a trial.
了解
Noted.
虽然如此我还是要求
Nevertheless, I would like to ask for
推迟这场听证会
an extension on this hearing.
这不是听证会
It's not a hearing.
延期审理
Continuance?
不是
Nope.
我们能晚点再来吗
Could we please come back later?
我无所谓
Works for me.
提前预约就行
Just call for an appointment.
这是上帝的馈赠快跑
This is a gift from God. Run!
你是怎么在不缴税的情况下
How on earth do you go 20 years without
过了二十年的
paying your taxes?
就像我们在戒酒会里说的那样一天一天慢慢来
Like we say in the program, one day at a time.
现在怎么办
So what happens now?
我让他们再给了我们一周时间
Well, I got them to give us another week.
这意味着你有很多工作要做
Which means you've got a lot of work to do.
不我不是律师
No. I am not a lawyer.
我是一所以网页设计出名的大学的大三学生
I am a junior at a college that's best known for Web design.
该给雷打电♥话♥了
It's time to call Ray.
绝对不行
Absolutely not.
拜托
Oh, come on.
我想见见你的半黑人混血同母异父大腕弟弟
I want to meet your big shot half-black half-brother.
冷静他是同性恋
Calm down, he's gay.
你确定他不是半同性恋吗
You sure he's not half gay?
因为他在其他方面都是一半
He's half everything else.
我们在努力不让我妈妈坐牢
We're trying to keep my mom out of jail.
你可以晚点再试着掰直他
You can try and flip him later.
我说过我不会给他打电♥话♥的
I told you I'm not calling him.
你为什么把你妈妈做的破事怪在雷身上
Why are you blaming Ray for all the crap your mother did?
我必须怪某人当心点你也是候选人
I have to blame someone. Careful, you're on deck.
邦妮你花了很大努力
Bonnie, you worked so hard to let go
才不再怨恨你的母亲
of your resentment towards your mother.
你不能为你的弟弟做同样的事吗
Can't you do the same for your brother?
这有点难玛乔丽
Well, that's a little hard, Marjorie,
因为我不知道我为什么恨他
since I have no idea why I resent him.
你最好搞清楚
Well, you better figure it out,
因为我们明天下午两点要和他见面
'cause we're meeting him tomorrow at 2:00.
你已经给他打过电♥话♥了
You already called him?
当然
I sure did.
天啊
Wow.
我对你要求不高只求你做到跟我一样
I don't ask much of you, only what I give in return--
诚实尊重最重要的信任
honesty, respect, and most importantly, trust.
怎么了
What?
这些我都有做到