极品老妈

Mom S04E04

Part 2 Jan. 3, 2020, 10:25 p.m.

Enough! Go to your room.
这真是一场噩梦
Well, this is a nightmare.
没错
That it is.
我不知道怎么办
I don't know what to do.
我们知道禁足是不管用的
Well, we know grounding him isn't gonna work.
还记得我在他这个年纪抽大♥麻♥被你禁足吗
Remember when you grounded me for smoking weed at his age?
住在车里太难办到了
Yeah. Hard to do when you're living in a car.
你让我去后座好好想想自己做了什么
You sent me to the backseat to think about what I'd done.
但至少现在我们都戒瘾了
Okay, but at least now we're both in recovery
我们有工具处理这个问题
and we have tools to deal with this.
什么工具妈
What are those tools, Mom?
我不知道有时候我说话根本不经大脑
I don't know, sometimes I just say things.
我很骄傲地宣布
Well, I am proud to announce
我现在的戒瘾时间
I now have the longest sobriety
是我们家最长的了
of anyone in my family,
包括我12岁的儿子
including my 12-year-old son.
可以写进圣诞节的卡片里
There's something for the Christmas letter.
罗斯科从哪里弄到的大♥麻♥啊
Where'd Roscoe get the pot?
他说是从学校的一个孩子那
He says from a kid at school,
但我还是不大信他
but I'm still not sure I believe him.
我的第一根大♥麻♥烟卷就是这么来的
That's where I got my first joint.
亚历克斯·马库奇
Alex Marcucci.
他可以一只手卷大♥麻♥烟卷
He could roll them with one hand.
那有什么特别的
What's so special about that?
他只有一只手
He only had one hand.
我还是难以置信这事发生了
I just can't believe this is happening.
他才上七年级
He's only in seventh grade.
我那时也是这么大
Hmm, that's how old I was.
偷了我妈妈的安定
I stole one of my mother's Valium,
就着我妈妈的伏特加吞了下去
washed it down with my mother's vodka
然后吐在我妈妈的狮子狗上
and threw up on my mom's poodle.
你惹上大♥麻♥烦了吗
Did you get in a lot of trouble?
没有她迷迷糊糊的还以为是自己做的
No, she was so out of it, she thought she did it.
我14岁时抽了第一根大♥麻♥烟卷
I smoked my first joint when I was 14,
但我那时候已经吃过摇♥头♥丸♥和迷幻蘑菇了
but I had already done acid and mushrooms by then,
所以大♥麻♥不算什么
so, you know, weed, whoop-de-do.
克丽丝蒂我明白你为什么担心
Christy, I understand why you're worried,
但这并不意味着罗斯科
but this doesn't mean Roscoe's going down
重蹈了我们的覆辙
the same road as the rest of us.
也不意味着他没有啊
It doesn't mean he's not.
你现在唯一可以做的
Well, the only thing you can do right now
就是让他可以安全地跟你说话
is make it safe for him to talk to you.
别把这事怪在我头上
Hey, don't put this on me!
我儿子知道他随时都可以跟我说话
My son knows he can talk to me anytime!
我十分努力地支持他
I've worked my ass off to be supportive
让他可以对我敞开心扉
and easy to open up to!
而你们都觉得我才是疯子
And you all thought I was the crazy one.
你上网看所有评论
You went online, you read all the reviews,
但关于韩国车这点他们没告诉你
but here's something they don't tell you about Korean cars...
从来没人偷
no one'll ever steal it.
巴克斯特
Hey, Baxter.
有空吗
Got a minute?
没空
Not really.
那就腾空
Make a minute.
我马上回来
I'll be right back.
坐进车里感受一下一国矮子
Sit inside and enjoy how a nation of short people
造出了头部空间充足的一辆车
built a car with surprisingly ample head room.
进去说
In here.
怎么了
So... what's going on?
你觉得是怎么了
What the hell do you think is going on?!
我猜是罗斯科抽大♥麻♥的事吗
I'm guessing the pot thing with Roscoe?
你还在猜吗
You're guessing?
好了我要确定了
Okay, I'm locking it in.
这是我的最终答案
That's my final answer.
我不想在坎迪斯面前聊这事
Look, I didn't want to do this in front of Candace
因为说实话我不想在坎迪斯面前做任何事
'cause, frankly, I don't want to do anything in front of Candace,
但你必须跟我说实话
but you got to level with me.
克丽丝蒂那不是我的大♥麻♥
Christy, it was not my pot.
你知道跟我说实话是什么意思吧
You do know what "Level with me" means, right?
意思是别再撒谎了
It means stop lying.
我跟你说了我戒了大♥麻♥
I told you, I stopped smoking
因为我精♥子♥数量稀少
'cause of my low sperm count!
我认识了你15年
I've known you for 15 years.
你最长的没抽大♥麻♥的时间
The longest you've ever gone without smoking pot
就是我们跟你父母去迪士尼乐园的时候
was when we went to Disney World with your parents.
我在迪士尼乐园也嗨了
Oh, I got high at Disney World.
在迪士尼乐园怎么会不嗨呢
How do you not get high at Disney World?
现在我该相信
And now I'm supposed to believe
你家里没大♥麻♥了吗
there's no weed in your house?
是啊因为我跟你说了没有
Yes, because I told you there isn't.
听着我知道这对你来说是个敏感问题
Look... I know this is a hot button for you
如果是我搞砸了
and it would make your life a lot easier
这会让你的生活容易许多但我没有
if I was the one that screwed up, but I didn't.
好吧
Okay.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
只是
It's just...
我很难过
I'm so sad.
我也是
Me, too.
但让我们记住罗斯科是个好孩子
But let's remember Roscoe's a good kid
犯了一个错误而已
and he made one mistake.
是啊我也是个好孩子不过是24年来
Yeah, well, I was a good kid who made one mistake
每天都犯一个错误
every day for 24 years.
但你没有你这样的妈妈
But you didn't have a mom like you.
这是你对我说的最好的话
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
我还说过更好的
I've said nicer things,
你当时烂醉如泥不记得了
you were just too drunk to remember.
你和坎迪斯想怀孕吗
So you and Candace are trying to get pregnant?
是啊她在服用激素检查体温
Yeah, she's taking hormones, checking her temperature.
我们总是得以某种体♥位♥做
We always have to do it in a certain position.
我不该问的
My fault, I asked.
回头见
See you later.
你觉得那很糟糕
You think that's bad,
她还让我穿四角内♥裤♥ 保持蛋蛋的凉爽
she's having me wear boxers to keep my balls cool.
抱歉珍妮斯
Sorry, Janice.
-巧克力酱够了吗 -够了
- Got enough chocolate sauce? u202d- Yup.
-还想要糖屑吗 -想
- You want more sprinkles? u202d- Yup.
-知道你♥爸♥爸把大♥麻♥藏哪儿吗 -知道
- Do you know where your dad hides his pot? u202d- Yup.
该死
Damn it.
所以你抽的的确是你♥爸♥爸的大♥麻♥
So it was your dad's joint you were smoking?
我想是吧
I guess.
为什么替他打掩护
Why'd you cover for him?
我不知道他是我爸爸
I don't know. He's my dad.
真有爱很蠢但很有爱
That's sweet. Stupid but sweet.
拜托别告诉妈妈
Please don't tell Mom.
谁教你别做告密人的
Hey, who taught you never to be a snitch?
-我回家了 -他的大♥麻♥是巴克斯特的
- I'm home. - u202dHe got the pot from Baxter!
喂
Hey!
另一课绝不相信别人
Another lesson-- never trust anybody.
大家好我是克丽丝蒂我是酒瘾者
Hi. I'm Christy. I'm an alcoholic.
你好克丽丝蒂
Hi, Christy.
你们能看见今晚我把我儿子带来了
As you can see, I brought my son tonight.
别看他
Don't look at him.
他会知道我在说他
He'll know I'm talking about him.
一般情况下我会让他待在家里
Normally I'd leave him home
看电视但是
to watch television, but
我现在不信任他了
I just don't trust him right now.
等等
Hang on.
瞧瞧一个宠物小精灵
Oh, look, a Pokémon!
没事了
You're good.
总之他被发现在我前夫家里抽大♥麻♥烟卷
Anyway, he got caught smoking a joint at my ex's house.
才12岁他就在按♥摩♥浴缸里抽大♥麻♥