极品老妈

Mom S04E04

Part 1 Jan. 3, 2020, 10:25 p.m.

我在赌场拿到的小费
And the tips I get at the casino
非常多尤其是老家伙给的
are fantastic, especially from old guys.
太浩湖全是老家伙所以...
Lake Tahoe's full of old guys, so...
你应该来妈你绝对能成为傍大款的花瓶娇妻
You should come, Mom, you would be a total trophy wife up here.
对酗酒服务员
Yeah, alcoholic waitress
还有俩孩子好娇的妻
with two kids, some trophy.
你有男友吗
Are you dating anybody?
没有
Not really,
我主要是专心工作和存钱
I'm mostly concentrating on work and saving my money.
我在想如果存够了钱
I was actually thinking if I put enough aside,
我可以搬去法国一年
I could move to France for a year,
学一门外语也许学习成为大厨
learn a new language, maybe study to become a chef.
听起来你过得非常好
Sounds like you're doing really well.
太好了
So well.
好了我得走了
Okay, I got to go.
我和室友要去湖边慢跑
My roommate and I are gonna go for a jog around the lake
然后去上班我们下周再聊
before our shifts start, so I'll talk to you next week.
-拜亲爱的 -拜
- Bye, honey. - u202dBye.
你怎么想
What do you think?
没一句真话
Every word a lie.
我知道
I know, right?
大厨
A chef?
慢跑
Jog?
想忍♥住不笑真难
It was hard to keep a straight face.
你觉得她的真正目的是什么
So, what do you think she's really up to?
不知道但她没要钱
No idea, but she didn't ask for money,
所以这是我最为她骄傲的时刻
so I couldn't be prouder.
一家人全到了
Hey, it's the whole gang.
你好小家伙
Hi, buddy.
你好
Hi.
他这是怎么了
What's with him?
我们要谈谈
Oh, we need to talk.
不好
Oh, no.
你要和我分手吗
Are you breaking up with me?
出什么事了
What's going on?
出了点事
We had an incident.
大家别反应过度
Let's not overreact.
我们抓到罗斯科抽大♥麻♥
We caught Roscoe smoking marijuana.
-什么 -不是吧
- What? - u202dOh, no.
再说一遍别反应过度
Again, let's not overreact.
只是一点点
It's just a couple of hits,
他像菜鸟一样咳个不停
he was coughing like a rookie.
你们当时在家吗
While you were in the house?
不我们正在去朋友的婴儿送礼会的路上
No, no, we were on our way to my friend's baby shower
我们发现巴克斯特忘了拿礼物
when we realized that Baxter forgot the gift.
是礼盒装的《好奇的乔治》的书
It was a box set of Curious George books.
这不重要继续说
Maybe not important, go on.
我们回到家
So, when we walked back into the house,
我从法式门看过去
I looked through the French doors
他躺在按♥摩♥浴缸里吞云吐雾
and there he was, puffing away in the Jacuzzi.
他跟谁学的边泡澡边吸大烟的
Where the hell did he learn to smoke and soak?
他在哪里拿到大♥麻♥的
And where did he get the pot?
他说是学校的朋友
He said a friend at school.
他不是找你拿的吗
He didn't get it from you?
当然不是
Of course not.
什么叫"当然不是"
What do you mean, "Of course not"?
你总是在抽大♥麻♥
You smoke all the time.
说你是行走的大♥麻♥更贴切
You're more marijuana than man.
不好意思但巴克斯特不再抽大♥麻♥了
Excuse me, but Baxter no longer smokes marijuana.
真的吗
Really?
是真的
Yes, really.
坎迪斯站在我旁边
Candace stood next to me
看着我把所有的存货冲进了马桶
while I flushed my whole stash down the toilet,
我这辈子最漫长的45分钟
longest 45 minutes of my life.
你相信吗
Are you buying any of this?
是真的
It's true.
我们在努力造人
We're trying to get pregnant.
吸大♥麻♥对精♥子♥数量有影响
Smoking's bad for the sperm count
而且还有输卵管的问题
and plus there's fallopian tube issues...
巴克斯特
Baxter!
我没说这问题是谁的
I didn't say who had the issues.
这根本说不通
This doesn't make any sense.
他一直是快乐的孩子
He was always such a happy kid.
他为什么要追求嗨劲儿呢
Why would he need to get high?
不是吧
Really?
考虑到他是怎么被养大的你还需要问吗
Given how he was raised, you have to ask?
你是说这是我的错吗
Are you saying this is my fault?
反正我没有毒瘾
Well... I'm certainly not a drug addict.
巴克斯特你最好带她离开这里
Baxter, you might want to get her out of here
免得我把她的整容鼻子打残了
before I break that store-bought nose.
快走亲爱的
Come on, honey.
我有鼻中隔弯曲
I had a deviated septum.
是吗老娘会让你再弯一次
Yeah, and you're gonna have it again!
现在看来维奥莉特大厨很不错吧
Chef Violet's looking pretty good right now, isn't she?
极品老妈第四季第四集
我以为我们要五年后才会面对这个问题
I thought we were five years away from having to deal with this.
真的吗五年
Really? Five?
他吃的麦片盒子上还印着海盗呢
He still eats cereal with pirates on the box.
我知道但现在已经发生了
I know, but it's happening now,
你要怎么处理
so how do you want to handle it?
我不想处理我想装作这事没发生
I don't. I want to pretend it's not happening.
好的那我们坐下吃饭
All right, then let's sit down and eat.
你开玩笑吧
You're kidding, right?
孩子可能饿了
Well, you know the kid's probably hungry.
罗斯科出来
Roscoe, get out here!
好吧
Well?
你要为自己辩护什么
What do you have to say for yourself?
我以为他们不会那么快回来
I thought they'd be gone longer.
你瞧这孩子说什么话
You believe this kid?
挺可爱的
That was pretty cute.
坐下
Sit down.
快点完事吧
Let's get this over with.
我惹了多大的麻烦
How much trouble am I in?
我想你知道
Oh, I think you know.
我不知道
I don't.
这招不管用
Well, that didn't work.
罗斯科你看到我和你外婆的遭遇了
Roscoe, after everything you've seen me and your grandma go through,
你为什么要这样做
why would you do this?
对不起这是第一次
I'm sorry, it was the first time.
我甚至都不喜欢
I didn't even like it.
他觉得我们很蠢
Aw, he thinks we're stupid.
如果你想对我们说谎
If you're gonna lie to us,
你得编得更像样一点
you're gonna have to try a little harder.
我没说谎
I'm not lying.
上瘾是我们的家族遗传
You get that addiction runs in our family.
还有说谎这毛病
Along with lying.
你想要我怎么样我说了对不起了
What do you want from me? I said I'm sorry.
大♥麻♥是哪里来的
Where'd you even get the pot?
-学校的孩子 -叫什么名字
- From a kid at school. - What's his name?
-我不想说 -你必须说
- I don't want to say. - You have to tell us.
外婆教我永远不要做告密人
Grandma said that I should never be a snitch.
我说永远不要做告密人
I said never be a snitch,
除非地检官给你了豁免权
unless the DA offers you immunity.
妈我再也不会这样了我发誓
Mom, I'm never gonna do it again, I promise.
我要你远离这个无名的孩子
Okay, well, I want you to stay away from this unnamed kid.
我会的
I will.
我甚至不喜欢他
I don't even like him.
对因为大家都讨厌派发大♥麻♥的孩子
Yeah, 'cause everyone hates the kid who gives away pot.
你说谎的技巧需要提升
You need better lies.
但我说的是实话
But I'm telling the truth.
够了去你房♥间