极品老妈

Mom S04E08

Part 2 Jan. 3, 2020, 10:26 p.m.

这是普拉达的
Those are Prada.
不是的这是山寨货
No, they're not. They're knockoffs.
你的其他全部行头都是山寨货
Knockoffs are everything else you're wearing.
唯有它是普拉达
Those babies are Prada.
帮个忙继续无视我吧
Do me a favor. Just go back to freezing me out.
你想说什么
Whatever do you mean?
你写什么是关于我的吗
What are you writing? Is that about me?
不是
No.
"可恨的"只有一个L
"Hateful" has one "L."
你为什么在这里转弯
Why are you turning here?
亚当晚些时候要过来
Adam's coming over later.
我要给他买♥♥点啤酒
I'm gonna get him some beer.
你想等在车里还是进去偷点东西
You want to wait in the car or come in and steal something?
收银机那边有很多选择
A lot of choices by the cash register.
苗条牌肉♥棒♥ 几个长斑的香蕉
Slim Jims, couple of freckled bananas.
你还要把这事调侃多久
How long are you gonna roast me on this thing?
难说就像口香糖
Hard to say. It's kind of like gum.
你永远不知道什么时候会没味
You never know when it's gonna lose its flavor.
对了你还可以偷口香糖
Hey, you can steal gum.
真好笑
Hilarious.
你停在残疾人车位了
You're in a handicap spot.
没关系
No problem.
残疾人牌照 2017年6月30日过期
那是什么是亚当的吗
What's that? Is that Adam's thingie?
当然不是我借了他的
Of course not. I borrowed his,
在金考快递公♥司♥一复印大功告成
copied it at Kinko's, and voila.
这过塑了
It's laminated.
是的我做事很认真
Yeah, I do good work.
所以这是个伪造的残疾人牌照吗
So that's a counterfeit handicap placard?
声音小点
Keep your voice down.
你怎么能这样做
How could you do this?
我在为残疾人办事
I am running an errand for a handicapped person.
所以牌照使用权转移给了我
So, therefore, placard privileges transfer to me.
不不能转移
No, they don't.
应该能转移
Well, they should.
还是说你希望残疾人
Or are you in favor of a disabled person
比正常人更慢买♥♥到啤酒吗
getting his beer at a slower rate than other people?
如果是这样难以置信
Because if so, wow.
霍奇斯酒水店
请等等
Hold it right there, please.
我吗
Me?
你好
Hi there.
你知道你停在残疾车位了吗
You realize you're in a handicap spot?
我知道
Yes, I am.
你能看到我有牌照
And as you can see, I have a placard.
那是发给你的吗
That issued to you?
当然了
Well, yes, of course.
我的两瓣屁♥股♥都换过
I had... both my hips replaced.
还在练习扭屁♥股♥
Still working out the kinks.
妈妈再瘸腿走两步
Mommy, do the limp again!
请出示你的证件
I need to see your I.D.
你为什么不出示你的证件
How about you show me your I.D.?
因为我只看到了紧身短裤和自行车
'Cause all I'm seeing are some skin-tight shorts and a bicycle.
就我看来
For all I know,
你说不定是去参加单身女派对的
you could be on your way to a bachelorette party.
我的意思是你很帅有这个可能
I mean, you're very handsome. It's possible.
请出示你的驾照和行驶证
Just show me your license and registration.
好吧这是我男友的牌照
Okay, look... it's my boyfriend's placard.
我没看到你男友
I don't see a boyfriend.
你没看到是因为他在家里
You do not because he is at home,
被轮椅束缚着等待着唯一一样
confined to his wheelchair, just waiting for the one thing
能帮助他度过孤独残疾生活的东西啤酒
that helps him get through his lonely, handicapped day: beer.
你可能很难想象
It's probably hard for you to imagine
因为你有完美壮硕的双腿
with your perfectly-muscled legs.
我必须要给你开罚单了
I'm gonna have to cite you.
该死这样如何
Ah, son of a bitch. How about this?
我把车停到另一个车位
I just move my car to another spot,
然后上报为"学到了教训"
and we can file this one under "lesson learned""
太晚了女士
Too late, ma'am.
警官如果你让我
Officer, if you put me
加入污点证人保护计划
in the witness protection program,
我会告诉你一切
I'll tell you everything!
不要吵墨镜
Pipe down, sunglasses!
或许我应该直接上车逃跑
How about I just jump in my car and drive off?
你以为你的小施文牌自行车能追上我吗
You think you can catch me on your little Schwinn?
图贝克街21号♥ 请求支援
Two Baker 21, requesting backup.
他在唬你妈妈快跑
He's bluffing, Mom! Run for it!
拜托
Oh, come on!
一个残疾男友和一个神经病女儿
A handicapped boyfriend and a mentally ill daughter?
有点同情心啊
Have some compassion!
你猜怎么着我不会付这个罚单
You know what? I'm not paying this ticket.
我要上庭
I'm gonna take it to court.
好样的
Good for you.
你完全有权装成残疾人
You have every right to pretend to be handicapped.
不你不懂
No, you don't get it.
这是《第一修正案》事件
This is a First Amendment issue.
愿闻其详
Remind me.
《第一修正案》嘛
You know, First Amendment--
就是那个说我可以为所欲为的法案
the one that says I can do whatever I want.
你疯了吗
Are you insane?
如果我能找一个医生做出这样的鉴定那就是的
If I can get a doctor to so testify, then yes.
亚当来了
That's Adam.
不准说这事
Do not say a word about this.
真的吗你不打算告诉他吗
Really? You're not gonna tell him?
你总是吹嘘的诚实和开放感情哪去了
What about your honest and open relationship you're always bragging about?
那不符合我当下的利益对吧
That doesn't really serve my interests right now, does it?
你好
Hello!
你好
Hey.
进来吧帅哥
Come on in, you handsome devil.
亚当
Hey, Adam.
克丽丝蒂
Hi, Christy.
今晚有什么计划
So, what's the plan tonight?
在家里吃去外面吃
We gonna eat here, go out for a bite?
你选吧你开心就好
You pick. Whatever makes you happy.
真的吗好的
Really? Okay.
我们点披萨外卖♥♥ 看橄榄球
Um, let's order in pizza and watch some football.
好的但是除非你答应
All right, but only if you promise
让我在中场休息时把你当小马骑
to let me ride you like a pony during halftime.
邦妮
Uh, uh, Bonnie...
别在意我我心如死灰
Don't worry about me; I'm dead inside.
我去给你拿点啤酒和零食
Let me get you a beer and something to snack on.
好吧她是怎么回事
Okay, what's going on with her?
什么
Excuse me?
上次她对我这么好
The last time she was this nice
是她给我理发那次
was right after she gave me that... haircut.
我警告过你但是你坠入爱河了
Hey, I warned you, but you were in love.
她这次做了什么
So what did she do now?
我觉得她什么也没做但是如果你担心
I don't think she did anything, but if you're concerned,
也许你应该给她施压试试
maybe you should press her on it.
你们在说什么
What you talking about?
亚当似乎觉得你有些不对劲
Adam seems to think something's going on with you.
谢谢克丽丝蒂
Thank you, Christy.
我本打算中场休息以后说的
I was gonna wait till after halftime.
我没什么不对劲
There's nothing going on with me.
喝你的啤酒吧
Drink your beer.
慢慢喝哦非常贵的
Sip it slow; it was very expensive.
好吧怎么回事
All right, what's the deal?
如果你一定要知道
If you must know,
我去买♥♥啤酒时被开了罚单没什么大事
when I went to pick up the beer, I got a ticket-- no biggie.
真糟糕什么罚单
Oh. Bummer. What for?
只是停车罚单因为我停车的方式不对
Just a parking ticket, you know, for the way in which I parked.