退休警察烦事多（2016）

Kevin Can Wait S01E22

Part 4 Aug. 10, 2020, 2:50 p.m.

不如当这是大力钟
I mean, why not look at it like a-a carnival bell,
看我能敲到多高
just see how high I can ring it.
你疯了
Come on, you're acting crazy.
不不你是对的
No, no, no, no, no, you were right.
你需要为没有我的生活做好准备
Because you need to be prepared for a life without me.
我要给你看这些东西
So I actually wanna show you all this stuff.
这里有房♥屋抵押贷款
So we got -- this is -- there's mortgage payments,
房♥产税肯德拉的学生贷款
we got property taxes and Kendra's student loans...
你做什么别这样
What are you doing? Stop it!
我们的保险
...we got our insurance.
没你我什么也做不了
I can't do any of this stuff without you!
对所以我希望你和金伯莉一起吃午餐
Exactly. Which is why I want you to have lunch with Kimberly.
什么
What --
你学校的那个女人吗
The girl from your school?
你的生活中需要一个女人
Yeah. You know, you're gonna need a woman in your life.
-孩子们也需要 -对
- So will the kids, you know. - ?Right.
她有条理善良
She's -- she's organized, she's kind.
你说过她漂亮
You said she was pretty.
她是漂亮
Yeah, she is. She is pretty.
如果要这样做
All right, well, um, look, if we're gonna do this...
好的
Okay.
我在考虑也许
I was thinking more maybe like, uh, I don't know,
你的普拉提教练莉莎更好
Lisa, your Pilates instructor.
什么
What?
我喜欢她大叫
Yeah, it's just I like the way she barks out
喊出指令什么的很专横的样子
all the instructions and stuff, very bossy.
我挺受用
It kind of does it for me.
老天真有你的
God, I can't believe you!
切尔把排毒的事告诉我了
Chale told me about the stupid cleanse.
他说了那个肥姑娘
He told -- That fat little girl!
你血检作弊谁会这样做
You cheated on a blood test. Who does that?
我不知道所有俄♥国♥奥♥运♥会运动员
I don't know. How 'bout every Russian Olympic athlete ever?
我做了必须做的
Look, I did what I had to do!
我指数达标
I hit my numbers.
我应该去参加球迷训练营
I should be on my way to Mets Fantasy Camp.
但你没达标没错
But you, you didn't hit yours. That's right.
现在我们的保费更高
And now we gotta pay a higher premium.
生气的应该是我
I should be the one who's mad.
我希望你去参加球迷训练营
Look, I wanted you to go to Mets Fantasy Camp.
显然我不想你和别的女人在一起
All right? Obviously, I don't want you with another woman.
我也不想你和别的男人在一起
And I don't want you with another guy.
我们说好同一天归西得了
Look, just let's agree to buy the farm on the same exact day.
怎么样
How's that?
好的但你年纪比我大
Okay, uh, but you're a little older than me,
这样的话
so it kind of gyps me
我的好日子就少了几年
out of a couple good years of life, right?
这样吧
How 'bout this?
如果我先走我向你保证
If I go first, I promise you,
你这辈子我这个鬼都会缠着你
I will haunt you for the rest of your life.
隔一段时间冰箱门会打开
Every once in a while, the fridge will pop open,
啤酒会飘出来
a beer will float out.
或是烧烤架会无缘无故地加热
Or the George Foreman Grill will just heat up for no reason.
我很抱歉
You know, I am sorry
你不能参加球迷训练营
that you're not going to Mets Fantasy Camp.
知道吗
You know what?
你的结果也没那么坏
Your numbers weren't that bad. ?
告诉你如果你按切尔的办法排毒
I'm telling you, if you did Chale's cleanse,
保证就正常了
we can get you in the right zone.
他说很残酷
Um, he said it was brutal.
那是因为只有我一个人排毒
It was brutal for me because I did it alone.
我告诉你我要做什么我保证
I'll tell you what I'll do. I promise you,
我和你一起排毒
I will do it with you.
-你会为我这样做吗 -当然
- You'd do that for me? - Absolutely.
-但今晚不行 -什么
- But not tonight. - ?What?
明天开始今天把塔可钟吃个够
Starting tomorrow. Tonight we are crushing Taco Bell.
你说了鸡肉饼我忘不掉
You said chalupas, it got in my head.
-我得去买♥♥ -去吧
- I gotta go get 'em. - ?Go get 'em.
玉米片芝士肉松不要番茄
Ooh, Nachos Bell Grande. No tomato. I'm serious.
不错我记住了
Yeah. Ooh, that's good, too. Now that's in my head, too.
我去买♥♥
I'm getting those also.