退休警察烦事多（2016）

Kevin Can Wait S01E03

Part 3 Aug. 10, 2020, 2:46 p.m.

我有了他们所谓的"漂浮肘"
I got what they call a floating elbow.
很多优秀运动员都有
A lot of the top athletes get it.
各位我们不能因为这事就胆怯了
Guys, all right, come on, we can't let this slow us down.
我们得坚持住
We got to stay the course.
下周我们去租越野摩托
Next week, we're renting dirt bikes.
-不 -要去
- No, no! - Yes!
我真是服了你们
You guys are killing me here.
希望你们喜欢披萨上的"真理馅料"
I hope you like truth on your pizza,
因为你们马上要大咬一口
'cause you're about to get a big bite.
人生如果你不向前
In life, if you're not moving forward,
就会后退
you're moving backwards.
根本没有不进不退的状态
There is no neutral.
你又看了托尼·罗宾斯的广♥告♥吗[励志达人]
You watching Tony Robbins commercials again?
我告诉你们我的杂事鼬鼠布雷克也是这样说的
No, I'm telling you, even my Chore Weasel, Blake, says it.
-你还在用他吗 -他棒极了
- You're still using that guy? - Yeah. He's awesome.
他对人生对活在当下有不可思议的见解
He's got an unbelievable view on life, on living it, man!
你们看恩佐知道他怎么保持得这么年轻吗
I mean, look at Enzo. You know how he stays so young?
忙碌
This -- hustling.
他可以整天在家看天气频道
He could be at home all day, watching the Weather Channel,
但他没有
but he's not.
他出来为世界带来改变
He's out in the world. He's making things happen.
恩佐你多大年纪了
Enzo, how old are you?
41岁
I'm 41.
是嘛
Really?
肯定是被披萨炉的高温烤成这样的
That's got to be the heat from the pizza ovens right there.
我告诉你们我会买♥♥今晚纽约岛人队的票
I tell you what -- I'm getting Islander tickets tonight, okay?
来吧去看打架去看冰球
Yeah, come on. A little fighting, a little hockey.
谁和我一起去
Who's with me?
-我不去 -什么
- I'm not. - What?
去谷歌♥搜索下"漂浮肘"
Guy, Google "Floating elbow,"
你就会知道这个问题有多愚蠢
and you'll realize what a stupid question that is.
我坐在我妈的沙发上看更安全
Yeah, I'm watching from the safety of my mom's couch.
行我带我的杂事鼬鼠一起去
All right, fine, but I'm taking my Chore Weasel.
你们有谁想一起去非常欢迎
If any of you guys want to join us, you're more than welcome.
我想去但每次我把头转向左边
I would, but every time I turn my head to the left,
就会闻到烤面包味[脑损伤引起的嗅幻觉]
I smell toast.
我进来的时候衣服没打湿
Hey, my clothes didn't get soaked coming in.
有人修好了洒水器吗
Did somebody fix the sprinklers?
对你父亲
Yeah -- your father.
真的吗
Wow. Really?
好样的
Good for him.
他最近非常棒
Yep, he's been great lately.
我要他做什么他就做了
I ask him to do something, and he just...does it.
真奇怪
Huh. That's weird.
没有抱怨吗
Wait, no complaining, nothing?
没他甚至装好了调料瓶架
No. I mean, look. He even put up the spice rack.
你注意到有什么奇怪的地方吗
Although, do you notice anything strange?
有他装好了调料瓶架
Yeah -- He put up a spice rack.
女士们好
Hello, ladies.
切尔你每天都在家
Chale, you're here every day.
你有没有注意到什么不寻常
Have you noticed anything unusual --
什么也没有
No, nothing. No, nothing.
掩饰的好巧妙
Wow. Good cover.
妈他知道
Mom, he knows something.
我不知道我现在回车♥库♥了
No, I don't. I...going back to the garage now.
不切尔坐下
Nah. Chale, sit down.
亲爱的我妈要你坐
Honey, my mom said "Sit."
你最好坐
You'd best sit.
你知道些什么
So, what do you know?
我知道你们没有权利这样质问我
I know you have no right to question me like this.
妈给我点时间让我和他单独说说
You know what? Mom, can you just give me a second with him?
好
Yeah.
亲爱的想喝点什么吗
Hey, babe, you want something to drink?
太好了
I'd like that very --
你们在玩好警♥察♥坏警♥察♥这套吗
Are you doing Good Cop, Bad Cop to me?
听好了
Okay, listen.
我们知道你在为我爸保守秘密
We know that you're keeping a secret for my dad,
你不如告诉我们
so why don't you just tell us?
我没什么可说的
I've got nothing to say.
老天爷切尔你知道什么
Oh, for crying out loud, Chale, what do you know?!
我知道盖布先生块头大很吓人
Now, I know Mr. Gable is a big, scary man,
但这次他不会得逞的
but he ain't got nothig on this.
他叫布雷克鼬鼠排水沟
His name's Blake. The Weasel, the gutters.
他不给我垫东西
He wouldn't do the shim.
放轻松
Shh, shh. Relax, relax.
你再喝口水
You have another sip of water.
停在这里就行了
Just right up here is fine.
你确定吗我可以送你到车道上
Are you sure? I can take you to your driveway?
不用这里很好
No. No, no. Here's fine. Here's good.
我得说盖布先生
Well, I got to say, Mr. Gable,
我这辈子都粉纽约岛人队
I-I've been an Islander fan all my life
但从来没坐过这么好的位置看球
and never sat center ice before.
我只是略表心意罢了
It's the least I can do.
那天难为你了
I was, uh...I was pretty rough on you the other day.
真不敢相信你抢到了冰球
And I can't believe you got the puck!
至少有15个人去抢
There must have been, what, 15 people fighting for it?
我要什么就能得手
You know, when I want something, I gets it!
那个老太太就是不肯松手
Yeah, and that one older lady, she just did not want to let go.
知道今晚我了解到60岁以上的老太太有什么特点吗
You know what I learned tonight about women over 60?
她们怕痒
They are ticklish!
在肋骨上挠一挠
One little hit in the ribs there,
立马就服输了
they cough it up immediately.
好了我得...
Anyway, I should, uh...
-我该走了 -好的
- I should probably get going. - All right.
别忘了你的冰球
Oh, hey, uh, don't forget your puck.
我想你说的是你的冰球
I think you mean your puck.
-不 -是的
- No. - Yeah.
-不是吧 -是的
- No! - Yes!
我都不知道说什么好了
I don't even know what to say.
你太了不起了盖布先生
You are awesome, Mr. Gable.
有任何需要尽管找我
If you ever need anything, you call me.
伙计们
Hey, guys.
可能找不了了
Probably not gonna be calling you.
啥事啊美女
What up, girlfriend?!
等等好吗
Hang tight, 'kay?
那是谁
So, who's that?
我朋友布雷克
That would be my friend Blake.
不是你的杂事鼬鼠吗
He's not your Chore Weasel?
我不知道我不会给人贴上标签
I don't know. I don't label people.
好吧不是你想的那样
Okay, it's not what you think.
我想你付钱给他让他做各种杂事
I think you've been paying this guy to do all the chores,
然后你转身抢了所有功劳
and then you turn around and take all the credit.
好吧完全是你想的这样
Okay, it's exactly what you think.
我就请了他一次结果
I hired the guy the one time, and you know what?
你非常喜欢我做的那些事
You were just loving all the work I was doing.
你是说杂事鼬鼠做的事
Uh, I think you mean the work the Chore Weasel was doing.
从现在开始我说的"我"是指"他"
Okay, from now on, when I say "Me," I mean "Him," Okay?
那天排水沟
So, the other day, the gutters --
你还表演了
did you actually do
假装下梯子吗
the whole fake "Getting down off the ladder" thing?
我得让你信啊
I had to sell it.
你让我信时上了几级梯子
And when you were selling it, how many rungs did you go up?
一级
Just the one.
我知道这很傻对不起
Okay, look, I know it's stupid, and I'm sorry, okay? I --
我只是不明白你为什么不自己去做
I just don't understand why you didn't do the stuff yourself.
我没让你做你做不了的事
I really didn't give you anything that you couldn't handle.
你明天送我去看骨科专家时
All of this is gonna become crystal clear tomorrow,
一切都清楚了
when you take me to the orthopedic specialist.
你打橄榄球时受伤了
You got hurt playing football!
对于知道所有答案的人来说
Okay, for someone who knows all the answers,