退休警察烦事多（2016）

Kevin Can Wait S01E20

Part 1 Aug. 10, 2020, 2:49 p.m.

你们教会办筹款真有一手
Your church really knows how to throw a fundraiser.
-今晚真开心 -对
- That was a fun night. - Yeah.
我想大家都知道了
Yeah, and I think we all learned
谁是投圈大♥师♥
who the master of ring toss is, huh?
我告诉你们
I'm telling you.
如果有教会联盟我就是职业选手了
Hey, if they start a church league, I'm going pro.
我不觉得有什么骄傲的
All right, I wouldn't be too proud.
我把一个14岁孩子推开赢的
You pushed a 14-year-old kid out of the way to win that.
相信我首先她比我高
Believe me, first of all, she was taller than me, okay? ?
其次她用肘子
And second of all, she was throwing mad elbows.
她是这样的
She was getting in there --
她发疯了我不后悔
She was going nuts. All right? I regret nothing.
抱歉让大家提前离开
I want to apologize for making everyone leave early
错过抽奖
and miss the raffle
因为这家伙睁不开眼睛
because this one couldn't keep his eyes open.
我没睡
I wasn't sleeping.
拜托莫特我在吃热狗
Please, Mott, I was eating my hot dog,
我看过去你是这样的
I look over, you're like...
好了好了我太累了
All right, all right, I'm exhausted.
昨晚孩子们把我的睡眠呼吸暂停症面具
Last night, the kids took my sleep apnea mask,
装满了果汁我差点淹死
filled it with juice -- I almost drowned.
对孩子们干的
Yeah, the kids did that.
看来教会筹了不少钱
It looks like the church raised a lot of money.
老凯我听说你在做义工
And, Kev, I hear that you've been doing some volunteer work.
建操场吗
You're building a playground?
迪迪别问
Didi, no. Didi, please --
你知道吗迪迪
You know what it is, Didi, is...
我去准备咖啡
Okay, I'm gonna put on some coffee.
-我听不下去了 -我帮你
- I can't hear this again. - I'll help you.
总之大多数人
All right, anyway, see, most people,
他们只是坐着等待改变发生
they just sit around waiting for change.
但少数人像我自己这样的
But it's the few of us, like myself,
会真正让改变发生
who actually... make it happen.
又不是人类家园
It ain't exactly Habitat for Humanity.
你只是装上秋千
You're putting together a swing set.
开什么玩笑稍等
Are you kidding me? Hold on a second.
喂
Hello?
菲利普神父有什么事
Father Philip, what's happening?
开玩笑吧
You gotta be kidding me.
不敢相信
That's unbelievable.
上帝保佑你上帝保佑你
Well, God bless you. God bless you.
上帝保佑你
God bless you.
-别这么夸张 -不是的
- Hey, take it down a notch. - No, no, no.
他过敏了疯狂打喷嚏
He's got allergies. He's sneezing like crazy.
我告诉他们太不可思议了
Okay, well, I gotta let 'em know. That is incredible.
谢谢你神父再见
Thank you, Father. See ya.
你们赢了抽奖的特♥等♥奖♥
You guys won the grand prize at the raffle.
-什么 -开玩笑吧
- What? ?- You gotta be kidding me.
等等我们赢了什么
?Wait a minute, what'd we win?
奖品奖品是什么
The prize, get the prize.
豪华度假水疗的四人行
"All-expense-paid weekend for four people
费用全包周末
at the Lux Resort and Spa""
你看你看
Look at that, look at that.
包括了日本牛排按♥摩♥
Japanese steakhouse, massages, all included.
我要来个
Ooh! ?Ooh, I'm gonna get
深度组织按♥摩♥
one of those deep tissue massages all over.
我要做那种石蜡脚部治疗
And I'm gonna get -- I'm gonna get the paraffin foot treatments
让我的脚舒服软软的
to make my feet all nice and soft.
太好了宝贝因为现在
Ooh, good, baby, 'cause right now it feels like
你像穿着高尔夫鞋睡觉
you're wearing golf shoes to bed.
你吐槽吗
Oh, you wanna play that game?
来说说你肩上的肥肉
Let's talk about your shoulder fat.
不没事没事
No. Come on, we good, we good.
谅你也不敢
Yeah, I thought so.
知道吗老凯
You know what, Kev?
多谢你说服我们买♥♥抽奖券
Thanks for talking me into buying that ticket.
什么你们只买♥♥了一张吗
What? You only bought one ticket?
我们买♥♥了50张但是
Wow, we bought 50, but, uh, hey,
至少我们赢了橡胶篮球
at least we won a rubber basketball.
这是发泡篮球
It's Spongetech, okay?
我本来可以赢更多的但是我的水枪堵了
And I would've won a lot more, but my water pistol jammed.
又来了
Oh, here we go.
我没说丹尼尔神父操纵比赛
No, I'm not saying Father Daniel runs a rigged game.
这是他和上帝的事但他操纵了
That's between him and God, but it was rigged.
等待夕阳好第一季第二十集
亲爱的
Hey, babe.
你在做什么
Ooh, what are you makin'?
本来想做BLT[培根生菜番茄三明治] 但没有L和T
It started as a BLT but, uh, we ran out of L and T.
所以
So, uh...
我在做BM[大便]
I'm just making a BM.
培根加蛋黄酱
It's a bacon and mayonnaise.
我等下去百货公♥司♥
Hey, I'm gonna go to Marshalls later
为周末的水疗买♥♥新泳装
and get us new suits for the spa this weekend.
我已经有了非常舒适
I already have my Jets one. It's very comfortable.
-我很喜欢 -亲爱的已经穿了20年了
- I like it. - Oh, honey, that's 20 years old.
内衬网都没了
All the inside netting is gone.
不客气女士们
You're welcome, ladies.
古迪正式邀请我们了吗
Oh, and has Goody given us the official invite yet?
没我想他想给我们惊喜
Uh, no. You know what it is? I think he wants to surprise us. ?
他说他要过来借钉枪
He said he's going to come over and borrow a "Nail gun."
知道吗
Oh. ?You know what it is?
我想他昨晚不想在莫特面前说
I think he didn't want to say it in front of the Motts last night.
当然那太尴尬了
Oh, no. Of course. That'd be awkward.
但莫特一家得理解
But I mean, the Motts have to understand.
只能请一对夫妻我们买♥♥了
It's only room for two couples, and we bought the tickets
筹款的抽奖券
to the fundraiser.
我们是他们最好的朋友
You know, and, look, we're their best friends.
我去问肯德拉和切尔
Yeah, um, okay, I'm gonna go check with Kendra and Chale
确保他们这周末
and make sure that they're all good to watch
可以看孩子
the kids this weekend.
只有一包培根了
Okay, hey, but there was only one package of bacon,
别告诉他们BM的事
so don't tell them about my BM.
改个名字吧
Might want to rename that.
伙计
Hey, man.
有钉枪吗
You got that nail gun?
对钉枪
Oh, yeah. The, uh, "The nail gun,"
在工棚里
it's "In the shed."
好的酷
All right, "Cool""
我去拿回头见
Uh, I'm gonna go grab that and I'll catch you later.
我要再次恭喜你们抽中周末的水疗
Okay, hey, I just wanna say congratulations on the spa weekend again.
太棒了
That's the way to go.
谢谢迪迪要乐死了
Thanks, man. You know, Didi is over the moon.
-我们需要度假 -对
- We needed it. ?- Oh, yeah.
好了兄弟蕾拉在车上
All right, dawg, I got Layla in the car.
我问你等等
Hey, let me ask you -- So wait, it's like --
是四个人的水疗对吗
it was four people, right, I think, going...
对我们带莫特两口子
Yeah, we're taking the Motts.
多谢你的钉枪下周见
Hey, thanks for the nail gun. Hit you next week.
进来
Come in.
你好邻居
Hey there, neighbor.
我得借点牛奶
I need to borrow some milk.
我女友做荷兰炸面团
My girlfriend is making oliebollen.
如果没有牛奶知道是什么吗
You make it without milk, you know what you got?
普通面团吗
Regular bollen?
你听过这个笑话
All right, you heard that joke before.
-你好 -鲁特格尔
- Hi. ?- Hey, Rootger.
-我来借牛奶 -好的
- I'm borrowing some milk. - Okay.
我今天差点两次给迪迪打电♥话♥
You know, I almost called Didi twice today,
但我没打
and then I stopped myself.
我没放下这事
I'm not over this, you know?
但我在想我们要找其他夫妻做朋友