退休警察烦事多（2016）

Kevin Can Wait S01E01

Part 2 Aug. 10, 2020, 2:46 p.m.

你想把车♥库♥出租让他来住呗
You have the garage to rent. Put him in there.
我很乐意帮警♥察♥同行
I'd love to help a fellow cop out.
只是唐娜想租给老太太
It's just that Donna wants an old lady in there.
她觉得她们更靠得住
She thinks they're more reliable.
但阿尔瓦雷斯的老爸开了家"弗兰克啤酒屋"
But Alvarez's father owns Frank and Steins,
卖♥♥热狗和啤酒的
that hot dog and beer place.
我知道他们会赞助
I know they'd sponsor the softball team
我们一直想组的垒球队
we've been trying to start.
比赛结束后我们面前就是免费啤酒了
And then after the games, we're looking at free beer.
好的我会想办法
All right, I'll figure out
让唐娜同意阿尔瓦雷斯住进来
how to get Donna on board with Alvarez.
说实话
Yeah, and let's be honest.
退休后做的大多数事情
I mean, most of the stuff we're doing for retirement
仅仅是还行
is just okay.
有啤酒退休生活才精彩
The beer is what makes it great.
非常感谢我们会很快和你联♥系♥
Thank you so much. We'll be in touch very soon.
我的天
Oh, my God.
而且她会针织可以算是会缝纫了
And she knits, which is, like, basically quilting.
她是不是太棒了
How great is she?
怎么了
What?
你否定了所有人怎么回事
No, you've turned down everyone. What's with you?
她会是完美的房♥客
She would be the perfect tenant.
首先她吸海♥洛♥因♥
Okay, first off, she's addicted to heroin.
你也看到注射的痕迹了
You saw the track marks.
注射的痕迹那是静脉曲张
Track marks. Those were varicose veins.
拜托老太太嗨着呢
Please. Grandma's riding the dragon.
各位我回家了
Everybody, I'm home!
-肯德拉 -是的
- Kendra? - Yeah.
亲爱的
Hi, honey.
我的宝贝女儿瞧你
There's my baby girl. Look at this.
你不是要考期中考试吗
I thought you had midterms.
我怎么会错过你的退休派对呢
What? I wouldn't miss your retirement party.
这世上最能令你开心的是什么
Now, what would make you happier than anything else in the world?
不必再说
Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there.
全美汉堡
All-American burger.
不必再说
Well, I'm gonna stop you right there.
背包里
Backpack.
我的妈
Mama!
如果有草莓奶昔的话
Now, if there was a strawberry shake...
帽子里
Hood.
瞧
See...
所以她是我最宠爱的孩子
that is why she's my favorite.
拿盘子里面的汉堡够我们所有人吃
Hey, grab plates. There's burgers in there for all of us.
才四个
Actually, there's only four.
好吧你们可以拿一个分着吃
All right, fine, you guys can split one. Okay.
你没有告诉他吧
You didn't tell him, did you?
你男友的事吗没你叫我别说的
About your boyfriend? No, you told me not to.
很好我准备好告诉他了
Okay, good. I'm ready to tell him myself.
太好了但今晚不行
Oh, great. Okay, but not tonight.
今晚是你♥爸♥的退休派对
Tonight is your dad's retirement party.
我们得想个好时机
All right, we got to think of a good time.
周天去教堂之后
Um, ooh, Sunday, right after church.
那时有一个小时的时间
Yeah, there's a one-hour window in there
他想尽力做个好人
when he's trying to be a better person.
我男友今晚和他室友一起来
He's coming tonight with his roommate.
什么不
What? No!
不
No.
亲爱的我还没机会对你♥爸♥吹吹风
Honey, I haven't laid the groundwork.
这样吧行
Okay, you know what? Fine.
今晚只是介绍他
Just introduce him tonight.
给你♥爸♥留下很好的印象
Let him make a good impression,
我稍后再跟你♥爸♥说男友的事
and then I'll hit your dad with the boyfriend thing later.
各位说下情况
Hey, guys, quick update --
我已经吃了两个汉堡了
uh, I'm already two burgers in, and...
没迹象表明我会停下来
there's really no sign of me slowing down.
我想我们得重新考虑下汉堡的分配
So I think we're gonna have to rethink the burger fractions.
反正我们没时间吃
Well, you know, we don't have time to eat, anyway.
我们得面试更多的房♥客
We have to interview more tenants.
太好了我已经全吃了
Oh, thank God, 'cause I ate all of them.
阿尔瓦雷斯先生我得说
So, Mr. Alvarez, I got to tell you,
我们不会随便把房♥子租给一个人的
we're not just taking anybody for this apartment.
但我的直觉告诉我可以租给你
But...my gut tells me you're all right.
原来你是警♥察♥ 世界真小
Oh, I see you're a cop. Hmm, small world.
你们见过吗
You guys ever meet?
我想说没有
I want to say no.
我们见过几次
We met. Couple times.
我也想说见过
I also want to say yes.
真的很感谢你们考虑我
Listen, I just really appreciate you guys considering me.
我老婆把我赶了出来
My wife kicked me out.
太遗憾了
Oh, I'm so sorry.
不我的心理医生说我有责任
No, no, my shrink says I got to own my part in this.
我一直在和很严重的酗酒问题作斗争
I've been battling a pretty good-size drinking problem.
断片儿喝漱口水所有酗酒的问题
Blackouts, mouthwash, the whole nine.
上面说你的中间名是卡尔
It says here your middle name's Carl.
好名字
That's pretty cool.
不好意思你是说酗酒吗
I'm sorry. Did you say drinking problem?
对我爸开了间啤酒屋真是雪上加霜
Yeah. And it doesn't help that my dad owns a beer joint.
上帝保佑我现在戒了
But by the grace of God, I am sober now.
18天
18 days.
我们先失陪一下
Uh, can you give us a sec?
-亲爱的 -在
- Honey? - Yeah.
-走 -行
- Okay. - Sure.
拜托告诉我这不是为喝免费啤酒设的局
Please tell me this was not just a setup to get free beer.
初衷是这样的
Okay, that's how it started, all right?
但我不知道他有这么多问题
But I didn't realize he had this many issues. All right?
如果我说免费啤酒
And I'd be lying if I said the
没有召唤我的话那我就是说谎
free beer thing wasn't, like, calling my name.
就像这样
It's like, uh...
不
No.
就在我面前
It's right there.
不我会给那位老太太打电♥话♥
No. I'm calling back that other old lady.
就是那个你说是青少年犯罪团伙成员的
You know, the one you labeled a gangbanger.
我知道这听起来很疯狂但我想帮他
Look, I know it sounds crazy, but I want to help this guy.
他是个好警♥察♥
I mean, he's a good cop.
他喝漱口水
He's drinking mouthwash.
之前喝漱口水
Was drinking mouthwash, okay?
你也知道漱口水的盖子有多小一打开...
You know how small the cups are, really, when you pop them...
行了别说了
Okay, stop. Stop.
我看了你的退休金预算
I've been going through your retirement budget,
亲爱的你到处花钱
and, honey, you're spending money left and right.
你要造一辆卡丁车
You're building a go-kart.
你真的买♥♥了水上乐园的快速通行证吗
And did you really buy a fast pass for the water park?
我退休了我不想再排队了
Yeah, I'm retired. I'm not waiting in lines.
好吧
Fine.
如果这家伙靠不住
If this guys flakes,
你就得去兼♥职♥了
you're gonna have to get a side job.
我会在家的好吗
Okay, I'll -- I'll be home here, all right?
我会盯着的拜托警♥察♥要帮警♥察♥
I'll watch. And -- Please, cops help cops.
好吧
Fine. Okay?
这次听你的但有试用期
I'll let you have this one -- on probation.
犯一次错他就得走同意吧
But the first slipup, and this guy's out. Agreed?
同意但我们说清楚
Agreed. All right, but let's be clear.
喝酒算犯错还是喝醉以后怎么样了算...
Is drinking a slipup or a pre-existing condi--
好喝酒就是错
Okay, it's a slipup.
我为你准备了蛋糕
Look, I had a little cake made up for you.
这是尸体吗
Is that a dead body?
这可不是普通的尸体
That's not just any dead body.
这是你老公经历的第一个凶案现场
This is your husband's first homicide scene.
他的头掉了
Well, his little head fell off.
别动头本来就在那里
No, no, no, no. That's where it ended up.