退休警察烦事多（2016）

Kevin Can Wait S02E22

Part 2 Aug. 11, 2020, 9:07 a.m.

大错特错乔安妮
That's the wrong plan, Joanne.
是的那是什锦百吉饼
Okay, yeah, uh... It's an everything bagel.
你手里的芝麻也是什锦的一部分
In your hand right there, that is everything.
那是百吉饼上面的明珠
It's the jewels of the bagel.
没错大蒜洋葱风味
Yes. Garlic, onion. The flavor.
没有了这些不过是一个破面包圈
Without it, it's just a circle of stupid dough.
我想撒到上面来着
I-I tried to sprinkle it on there,
可它们只会再掉下来
you know, but it just kind of falls off again.
-这家伙 -知道为什么吗
- This guy. - Yeah, you know why?
因为百吉饼表明是干燥的黏不住
'Cause it's a dry surface and you can't --
肯定会掉下来你瞧着
It's gonna bounce. Watch this.
-好的 -你得想办法黏住它
- Oh, okay. - You got to get it to stick.
打开百吉饼
Open it up...
撒到这上面
and now sprinkle on top.
把黄油当成胶水
Let the butter act like the glue.
我还以为这是常识但随便吧
I thought this was common sense, but whatever.
给你老板
Here you go, boss.
-谢谢 -都搞定了
- Thank you. - All set.
都搞定了吗因为他可能需要餐巾纸
Is he all set? 'Cause he might need a napkin.
这孩子说得对
Ooh, kid's got a point.
我开车时不希望手指上都是黄油
I don't want buttery fingers on the wheel when I'm driving.
我本来也能想到的
I would've thought of that.
是的但你没想到
Yeah, but you didn't.
如果你需要私人助理也该找我
If you need a personal assistant, it should be me.
他应该在这接电♥话♥
He should be answering the phones.
真的吗我接也行可那不是你的工作吗
Oh, really? I-I would do that, except isn't that your job?
这家伙能做的任何事我都能做得更好
Hey, anything this guy can do, I can do better.
恕不苟同伙计我可是业余气象学家
I don't think so, pal, 'cause I'm a part-time meteorologist.
你才不是
No, you're not.
我是我正在攒钱买♥♥多普勒仪
Yes, I am. I'm saving up for a Doppler.
我希望你报天气的本事
Well, I hope you're better at predicting the weather
比做百吉饼强
than making bagels.
又说回百吉饼的事了
We're back on the bagel thing!
是的又说回百吉饼的事了
Yeah, we're back on the bagel thing.
伙计们别吵了好吗
Guys, guys, guys, stop the fighting, all right?
听好我们的生意越做越大
Listen. Business is booming here.
我得保持最佳工作状态
I-I got to be operating at peak performance.
我明白你们都想做我的私人助理
I get it -- you both want to be my personal assistant,
但糟糕的是
but here's the kicker --
只能有一个
there can only be one.
总算有人接电♥话♥了
Oh, finally! Hello. I got a person.
是的我打电♥话♥是为了制♥服♥的事
Okay, yes, hi! I am calling about our uniforms.
制♥服♥上本该印着"猴拳保全"
Um, they were supposed to say "Monkey Fist,"
但上面印的是"猴子囊肿" 这怎么行
but instead they say "Monkey Cyst," so that's a problem.
让我把话说清楚
And I should say this --
如果你让我待机我会找到你并弄死你
if you put me on hold, I will track you down and kill you.
你好
Hello?
我让你们到我家厨房♥来进行第一阶段
All right. I brought you into my kitchen for phase one --
认识凯文·盖布
getting to know Kevin Gable.
我们从头开始假设早上六点
Let's start at the beginning. It's 6:00 a.m.
我起床做过祷告去健身房♥后回来
I wake up, I've said my prayers, I go to the gym, I come back.
接下来我要做什么
What do I do next?
等等你早上去健身房♥吗
Wait. You go to the gym in the morning?
我不去很敏锐鲁特格尔
No, I do not. Good catch, Rootger.
太好了
Yes.
新的场景
New scenario.
晚上十点我想吃披萨
10:00 p.m. I want pizza.
恩佐餐厅关门了接下来怎么办
Enzo's is closed. What happens next?
没问题我去食杂店
No problem. I go to the grocery store,
买♥♥来食材我给你做个披萨
I buy the ingredients, I make you a pizza.
否
N-yewww.
你有什么招数
What do you got?
我开车去恩佐家把他从床上拽下来
I drive to Enzo's house, I pull him out of bed,
告诉他"做个披萨"
and tell him, "Hey, make a pizza."
我喜欢解决问题
I like it. Problem solving.
好卷起袖子来兄弟们
All right, let's roll up our sleeves, boys,
因为我们就要进行到下一阶段了
'cause we're about to take this elevator to the next level.
欢迎来到第二阶段
Welcome to phase two!
男人叠衣服的方式就是过日子的方式
The way a man folds laundry is the way he lives his life.
叠成豆腐块豆腐块
Corners, corners!
这么堵我开会肯定要迟到了
With this traffic, I am never gonna make this meeting!
打电♥话♥给老凯叫他去不行吗
Well, just call Kev. Can't he do it?
不行他手头有很多事
No. He's got his hands full.
好了你们得给我订机票懂吗
All right, you boys are gonna book me a trip, okay?
我旅行时看重三件事
Now, I look for three things when I travel --
舒适效率
comfort, efficiency,
和那种坚果
and those nuts with the, uh,
外面有甜甜的粉末那种
little dust on the outside, the sugary --
-蜜烤的 -没错就是那种
- The honey-roasted? - Yes, those are them.
对了给你自己加三分泰勒
By the way, give yourself 3 points for that, Tyler.
-现在还记上分了 -是的我想是的
- We're doing points now? - Yeah, I guess we are. Yeah.
听好假设在感恩节周末
All right. Now, it's Thanksgiving weekend.
我要去迪拜会见皇帝...
I am traveling to Dubai to meet with the emperor of...
姑且说迪拜皇帝吧
Let's go with Dubai.
等等你认识皇帝
Hold on. You know the emperor?
不认识但这不关你的事
No, I do not, but it's none of your business,
扣两分因为你质疑我
so minus 2 points for questioning me.
该死
Crap!
是出差还是游玩
Now, is this trip business or pleasure?
问得好
Good question.
两者兼具因为我和皇帝
It's a little bit of both, because, uh, me and the emperor
会喝几瓶啤酒
are gonna have a couple beers,
然后我们会敲定生意
and then we're gonna get some stuff done.
好计时现在
Okay. Your time starts...
开始
now.
切尔今天过得好吗
Hey, Chale. How's it going?
其实我今天过得不太好盖布先生
Actually, I'm not having the best of days, Mr. Gable.
这也是常事
Yeah, sometimes it goes like that.
肯德拉和我意见不合了
Kendra and I are having a disagreement.
我不知道是怎么回事
I don't know what it is.
每次我特别想要完成某件事时
It's just e-every time I really want something,
我总是做不到
I just -- I can't seem to get it.
我说不好我是不够大胆还是
I don't know. I-I'm just -- I'm not bold enough or...
你知道是怎么回事吗
Yeah. You know what it is?
这些事情
You got to really just
你得自己解决明白吗
work these things out on your own, you know?
但你就像雄狮一样
But you're like a lion!
你总是要什么就有什么
You always get what you want.
那是种思想形态切尔
It's a mind-set, Chale. It's a...
那是种生活方式
It's a way of life.
这世上很多人
Most people are out there,
会因高高的草原分心
they're distracted by the tall grass.
我则很专注
I'm focused.
我准备好下一次捕猎那就是我要做的
I'm ready for my next kill. That's what I'm doing.
-是的 -我发现了瞪羚
- Right. - Yeah, I spot my gazelle.
我浪费时间了吗没有
Do I waste time? I don't.
我扑倒它身上拖到树边
I pounce on it, then I drag it to a tree.
我现在就吃吗我不知道
Do I eat it now? I don't know.
我稍后再吃吗
Do I eat it later?
什么时候想吃再吃知道为什么吗
Whenever I want. You know why?
我是丛林之王我想怎样就怎样
King of the jungle. I get what I want.
希望这对你有帮助
Hope that helps.
有帮助真的很有帮助
It did. It really did.
-你牙缝里塞东西了 -我...
- You got something in your...right there. - I --
好了伙计们订好了吗
All right, fellas, what do we got?
我给你订了伦敦转机的机票
Okay, I got you connecting through London.
中间要停留四小时但机场附近
There's a four-hour layover, but there's an aquarium
有间水族馆有头新出生的白鲸宝宝
very close by with a brand-new baby beluga.
它叫泡泡特别可爱
His name is Bubbles, and he's adorable.
计划好的游玩
Pre-planned fun.