退休警察烦事多（2016）

Kevin Can Wait S02E19

Part 2 Aug. 11, 2020, 9:06 a.m.

Stick a fork in me.
不不不我不是
No. No, no, no. I-I don't-I don't --
我不在健身房♥工作
I don't work at the gym.
我有私事找您
Um, it's-it's about a personal matter.
那好
Oh, okay.
我也锻炼我只是在家锻炼
Um, I do work out. I just-I just do it at home.
我们走
Let's go.
我叫安东尼·巴恩斯
My name's Anthony Barnes.
可以说是您将我带到这个世界上的
You kinda brought me into this world.
什么
What?
二十年前我妈妈正在工作
20 years ago, my mom, she was at work.
突然开始分娩
She went into emergency labor.
她说当时那里有位盖布警官
She said there was an Officer Gable there.
是您吗
W-was that you?
我不知道我
I-I-I-I don't know. I --
那是间全美汉堡
It was at an All American Burger.
八成是我
Probably, yeah.
我妈妈说所有人只是站在那
So, my mom, she said everyone else just stood there
都很惊慌除了您
and panicked, except for you.
等一下当时是刚过完大斋节吗
Wait a second. Was-was this right after Lent?
是的我是四月出生的
Yes! I was born in April.
好我记得
Okay. I remember. I --
当时我已经四十天没吃芝士汉堡了
I hadn't had a cheeseburger in 40 days, right, and --
我进了店门准备大吃特吃
and I walked in there ready to crush it,
当我的餐备齐了我听到一位女士的尖叫
and when I got my order, I hear a lady scream
我想
and I'm thinking,
"她的餐肯定也备齐了
"Wow, she-she must have just got her order,
因为她和我一样开心"
'cause she's as happy as I am."
但她不是餐备齐了
But she-she didn't get her order.
她是要生宝宝了那宝宝是你吗
She was having a baby. Was that-was that you?
是的是的
Yes! Yes!
这些年来我一直在寻找您的下落
And I've been trying to track you down this whole time.
我想见见您
I wanted to meet you.
真难以置信跟我说说你的事
Well, this is unbelievable. Well, tell me about yourself.
从第二天开始说因为第一天我在场
Just start at day two, 'cause I was there for day one.
让我想想
Um, well, let's see, um...
要知道我妈当时单身
you know, Mom was single,
所以我的童年很困难家里没钱
so it was a tough time growing up, not a lot of money.
是吗
Yeah.
她考虑过要把我送去领养
She, uh, considered putting me up for adoption.
但在那天你鼓励过她之后
But after all those encouraging words you said to her that day,
她决定留着我
she decided to keep me.
-真的吗 -真的
- Really? - Yeah.
那改变了她的一生我的一生
Yeah, it changed her life, and mine.
我只是想来见您
And I wanted to just, um, come in here and...
看着您的双眼
look you in the-look you in the eye and...
说声"谢谢您"
say "Thank you."
气氛沉重得好快啊
Wow. Things got heavy quick.
来抱一下小伙子抱一下
Bring in it, little man. Bring it in.
再抱一下
Yeah, double.
很高兴见到您盖布先生
Well, um, it was really nice meeting you, Mr. Gable.
我得去上班了
Um, I gotta get to work,
或许我们很快还能再见面
but maybe we can see each other again soon.
当然你在哪上班
Yeah. W-where do you work?
我是玉米热狗屋的助理经理
Oh, I'm the assistant manager at the Corn Dog House.
不如下次我去看你
You know what? I'll visit you next time.
我去看你我会去的
I'll come see you. I'll come by.
-那好 -太好了
- Yeah, yeah. - Great.
-再次谢谢您所做的一切 -走好
- Hey, thanks again for everything. - Alright.
-再见 -保重
- Bye. - Take care.
告诉我你都听到了
Tell me you heard that.
-听到什么 -那孩子在屋里哭
- Heard what? - That kid crying in there.
他告诉我我是个英雄
He was telling me I'm-I'm-I'm a hero.
-你听到了吗 -没听到
- You hear that? - I couldn't hear.
我在照你的吩咐擦遥控器
I was baby-wiping the remote, per your demand.
你看到刚才那孩子了吗
Hey, did-did you just see that kid right there?
没看见我在打电♥话♥
No, I-I didn't. I was on the phone.
吉尔曼五金店那一单我们丢了
Listen, we lost the Gillman Hardware account.
他们改用纳苏保全了
They went with Nassau Security.
那孩子讲了个故事说我是英雄
That kid had a whole story about me being a hero.
你是认真的吗
Okay, are you serious?
我告诉你我们丢生意了
I'm telling you we're losing business,
你只顾着念叨什么孩子
and you're going on about some kid.
他不是随便什么孩子知道吗
It wasn't "some" kid, alright?
刚才那一刻特别美
I-It was a beautiful moment.
因为我他才能来到这个世界上
I'm responsible for bringing him into the world.
那是生命的庆祝他是个奇迹男孩
It's a celebration of life. He's a miracle baby.
这事是在哪发生的
Where did this happen?
全美汉堡
All American Burger.
你知道吗
You know what?
我们不会向纳苏保全
We're not backing down from Nassau Security
和他们的蠢广♥告♥低头
and their stupid commercial.
-没错 -我们也拍广♥告♥
- Yeah. - We'll just do our own.
想象一下我们都从飞机上跳出来
Pic-picture it -- We all jump out of a plane,
手拉着手围成一圈
holding hands, like, in a circle,
然后我们的脚踝爆出了烟雾弹
and then -- boom -- smoke bombs explode from our ankles,
在夜空中拼出"猴拳"
spelling out "Monkey Fist" in the night sky.
-太炫酷了 -没错吧
- Oh, that's badass. - Right?! Right?!
是的是的
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
老凯那个广♥告♥肯定很棒
Kev, that'll make a great commercial, man.
你找摩根·弗里曼做旁白
Look, you get Morgan Freeman to do the voice-over...
-你能想象吗 -点子都想好了
- Can you imagine that? - ...we're all set.
-没错 -没错摩根·弗里曼
- Yeah, baby. -Yes! Morgan Free-
太好了就这么定了
Oh, great! So, this is settled.
你在笑话我们吗
Are you mocking us?
是的我在笑话你们
Yes, I am mocking you.
首先我们谁也不会高空跳伞
First of all, no one knows how to skydive.
第二我不知道
Second, it's, um, I don't know,
又蠢又贵得离谱
stupid and ridiculously expensive.
你还想在晚上放烟雾弹
Oh, and you wanna set off smoke bombs at night --
谁能看见啊
where no one can see it.
不好意思我以为你说
I'm sorry. I thought you said
没有注意是坏主意
there was no such thing as a bad idea.
是的我错了
Yeah, I was wrong.
你知道吗我们只是出出主意
You know what? We're just pitching here.
-有什么区别 -我知道
- What's the difference, you know? - I know, but --
但拜托我们...
Come on. Let's be --
听起来你们有点小烦恼伙计们
Sounds like there's a little trouble in paradise, huh, guys?
来吧我来了问问我
Go ahead, I'm here. Pick my brain.
凯尔我不知道你注意到没有
Uh, Kyle, I don't know if you noticed here,
但我们在进行私人会议
but we got a little private meeting going on.
如果你不介意的话...
So, if you don't mind...
不好意思伙计
Oh, I'm sorry, guy.
我没听说你们把这地方买♥♥下来了
I didn't get the memo that you bought the place.
现在我要使用宪法赋予我的权利
Now, I'm gonna exercise my constitutional right
想坐哪就坐哪
and sit wherever the heck I want.
如果你离开我请你喝瓶啤酒
If you get outta here, I'll buy you a beer.
成交
Done.
盖布先生
Mr. Gable?
如果你们想要媒体曝光
If you're looking for media exposure,
除了花钱打广♥告♥还有其他方法
there are ways to go besides paid commercials.
比如呢
Like what?
有人情味的故事
A human-interest story.
什么都行能火就行
Anything. Anything that will go viral.
你知道吗他说得没错
Oh. You know what? He's right.
昨天来办公室那个孩子怎么样
Wha-what about that kid that came to the office yesterday?
就是我在全美汉堡生的孩子
Oh, the one I gave birth to at All American Burger.
你生孩子绝对会火
You giving birth would definitely go viral.
我没生我帮忙接生的
I didn- I-I helped deliver him, okay,
在我还是警♥察♥的时候
when I was a cop.
不过他当时特别激动