退休警察烦事多（2016）

Kevin Can Wait S02E14

Part 2 Aug. 11, 2020, 9:05 a.m.

认识你真高兴
It was so good to meet you.
-我也是 -那好再见凯文
- You too. - All right. Bye, Kevin.
乖
Be good.
好的
Okay.
你根本不知道"吸干"是什么意思吧
Do you even know what "blotting" means?
你知道是什么意思吗
Do you know what it means? Honestly.
是的我知道是什么意思
Well, yes, I do know what it means.
你老家的人也知道吸干吗
Do they have blotting where you're from?
好了行了
Okay. All right.
抱歉打扰二位门萨俱乐部天才
Hate to break up the Mensa meeting,
但我能不能
but can I-can I, uh,
-我能不能和你聊两句 -什么事
- can I talk to you for a second? - What's up?
我只是想知道你是怎么看丽贝卡的
Well, just wanted to get your thoughts on Rebecca.
-我怎么看她是个客户 -是的
- My thoughts? She's a client. - Yeah.
支票能兑现我就开心了我就是这么看的
If the check clears, I'm happy. Those are my thoughts.
是这样的我们刚才在聊天
Well, the thing is, is that we were talking,
她认为你很迷人
and she thinks you're cute.
什么
What?!
我糊涂了
Well, I'm baffled!
想想看你的等级在这
Think about it -- your level is right here.
如果你再看她她在这
If you look at her -- boom! Right there,
-或许甚至在这 -好了我明白了
- maybe even there. - Okay, I get it. I got it.
-差太多了 -谢谢你
- Big space. - Thank you.
-我明白你的意思了 -谢谢
- I get where you're going. - Thank you.
我明白让我来处理
I understand. I will handle-I will handle this!
-谢谢 -你没什么可处理的
- Thank you! - You don't have to handle anything.
谢谢你自己吧
Thank you, okay?
我还没准备好重返情场
Look, I'm-I'm not ready to do this yet.
我不想和她出去约会
I'm not -- I don't want to go out with her.
为什么你得重新开始
Why? You got to get out there.
-你什么意思 -为什么不果然一点
- What are you talking -- - Why not just jump in there,
去和她约会
go on a date with her?
她很漂亮顺带一提
She's beautiful, and, by the way,
她人也很好
such a sweet girl.
我告诉你为什么不行
I'll tell you why I can't --
因为我得需要六个月
'cause I would need six months
才能恢复能见人的体型至少的
to get back into dating shape, minimum.
我得天天练腹肌
And that's every day on my Ab Blaster.
天天练
Every day!
你现在这个样子她也喜欢
She likes you just the way you are.
别这么自私为了咱们去吧
Don't be selfish. We need this.
"咱们"
"We"?
我是说你你需要约会
I mean you. You need it.
你得重新开始约会
You got to start dating!
前几天晚上
Just the other night,
他还和莫特两口子来了四人约会
he had a double date with Mott and his wife.
就他自己去
By himself?
那不是四人约会那是电灯泡
That's not a double date. That's a third wheel!
他们还和我订了下次约会日期呢
Oh, hey, they penciled me in for a re-date,
看来某人还是表现不错的知道吗
so somebody's doing something right, okay?
哪怕我愿意和她约会
Look, even if I were to go out with her and say I wanted to,
我也必须问过我的孩子们
I'd have to-I'd have to run it by the kids,
我现在就能告诉你
and I'm gonna tell you right now,
他们会介意的
they would not be okay with it.
-完全不介意 -没错
- Totally okay with it! - Yeah.
你不去才奇怪
Yeah, it'd be weird if you didn't go.
你瞧他们想让你去
You see? They want you to go.
他们不过是在假装坚强
They're just putting on a brave face.
不这是我们的本色
No, these are our faces.
我们一直在说你该去约会
Look, we've been telling you you should go.
我明白可我...
I understand that, but I-I --
今晚感觉时机不对
Tonight, it just doesn't feel like the right time.
-好吧 -或许我们可以改天
- Okay. - Maybe we'll do it another night.
不凯文你只是紧张了
No, no. Kevin, you're getting nervous!
这是你第一次
Now, it's the first time that you're --
浅尝约会的滋味
you're dipping your toe in the dating pool.
会没事的我向你保证好吗
It's gonna be fine. I promise you, okay?
别一直看手♥机♥就行那样很失礼
Just no cellphones 'cause that's rude.
确保和她有眼神交流
Oh, and make sure to make eye contact.
夸她的鞋子好看
And compliment her shoes.
给两成小费
Tip 20%.
让他们知道你是大手大手
Let 'em know you're a player, player.
现在你们反应过度了
You know what? Now you're making too big a deal of this.
-没什么的 -那好
- It's okay. - All right.
这是在开玩笑吗
You got to be kidding me!
你决定穿什么了转一圈让我们看看
So, what are you wearing? Give us a spin!
抱歉伙计我不想来的她逼我的
Sorry, guy. I didn't want to come. She made me.
你看起来帅极了爸
You look great, Dad.
谢了但大家怎么都来了
Thanks, but why is everybody here?
这是你二十五年来第一次约会
It's your first date in 25 years.
多激动人心啊
I mean, that's exciting.
是啊当我回望我和肯德拉
Yes, I harken back to when Kendra and I
第一次约会我永远不会忘记
first went out, uh, and I will never forget
你隔着桌子靠向我对我说
you leaned across the table and said to me --
天哪那是马♥凯♥蒂的包吗
Holy crap. Is that a Marchetti?
不她夸我的饰扣式领带好看
Uh, no, she complimented me on my bolo tie
说我看起来像流氓弗拉德乐队成员
and said that I looked like I could be in Rascal Flatts.
你有没有弄古龙水三明治
So, did you, uh, do the cologne sandwich?
什么
What?
我的绝招啊
My move, you know?
先喷点古龙水
Put some cologne on,
在踏步机上练二十分钟
you hop on the elliptical for 20 minutes,
再多拍点古龙水
slap some more cologne on.
屡试不爽
Works every time.
那你怎么会在周六夜晚单身过来
Then why are you here alone on a Saturday night?
因为我的踏步机坏了
Because my elliptical is broken.
下次损我好歹私下损伙计
Take me aside next time, guy.
你们两个打算去哪
So, where are you guys going?
一间餐厅而已
Just a restaurant.
带她去吃个晚餐我就回家
Gonna take her for dinner and then I'm coming home.
-就这样 -等等不行
- That's it. - Wait. No!
吃过饭得出去玩
You gotta go out after.
你得好好玩一晚
You have to make a night out of it.
你该带她去玩密室逃脱
You should take her to an escape room!
什么
A what?
那是种很刺♥激♥的高♥强♥度挑战
It is a thrilling, high-intensity challenge
你被锁在一间房♥间里
where you're locked inside a room,
你必须解开一系列复杂的谜题
and you have to solve a-a series of
才能逃出房♥间
intricate puzzles just to escape!
祝我好运各位
Wish me luck, everybody!
拜拜祝你好运
Bye! Good luck.
你看起很美
You look nice.
我喜欢你的头发
I, uh -- I like your hair.
看起来光泽闪耀
It's got, uh... good sheen.
-是吗 -是的
- Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah.
我不是很确定那是什么意思
I'm not really sure what that means.
我是某次在广♥告♥里看来的但你头发很好
I saw it in a commercial once, but it's good.
谢谢你谢谢你
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
你也看起来很精神
Uh, you-you look really nice, too.
谢谢我...
Thank you. I just, uh --
我临出门时随便穿的
just threw it on last minute, you know?
我在说谎我在说谎
I, uh -- I'm lying. I am lying.
我换了差不多五套衣服
I w-I went through like five changes.
-可别扭了 -才五套吗
- It was weird. - Huh. Only five?
-是的 -如果我们要说实话的话
- Yeah. - Oh, well, if we're being completely honest,
我想衣橱里的衣服我都试了一遍
I think I tried on everything in my closet.
那好如果我说实话的话
Okay, well, if I'm being honest,
今晚我坐下时动作很慢
I-I sat down really slowly tonight
因为我太紧张了
because I was super nervous,
我往身上扑了好多爽身粉
and I put on a bunch of baby powder --