9号秘事

I hear you ordered a tart this evening.
是的 到了吗
I did. Has it arrived?
-刚到了 -带进来
- Just now. - Bring it in.
如此一来 等王子沉沉入睡
Thus, when the Prince in deepest slumber lays,
我就下手 他不知是我作祟
then will I strike and so avoid his gaze.
他一命呜呼仍把我当朋友
Better he dies still thinking me a friend.
那妓♥女♥帮大忙送他见阎王
This wench has helped me bring about his end.
妈 妈 她又跑出房♥间了
Mother! Mother! She's vanished from the room.
我才进浴室两分钟 她就不见了
Two minutes in the shower and she's gone.
我以为《爱默戴尔农场》和《加冕街》能让她乖乖待着
I thought Emmerdale and Corrie was enough to keep her busy
谁知她竟然溜走了
but she's done a bunk!
抱歉再次打扰你
I'm sorry to disturb you once again.
我母亲没在你房♥间里吧
You haven't got my mother in there?
没有 你们怎么就不能别来打扰我
No! Why can't you people just leave me in peace?
你看不出来我正忙着[上吊]吗
Can you not see that I'm tied up right now?
天知道每扇门背后都在发生些什么
God knows what goes on behind these closed doors.
"不问 不说" 我妈常这样教育我
Don't ask, don't tell, as Mother always says.
美军早期对军中同性恋的政策
我得赶紧找到她免得她摔倒
I'd better find her quick before she falls.
我去楼下的催眠表演把她找
I'll try the hypnotism show downstairs.
我看了你在楼下的催眠术表演 太精彩了
I saw your hypnotism show downstairs. It was really good.
谢谢你 姑娘 我今晚确实超常发挥
Thank you, child. I was exceptional tonight,
我就不谦虚了
though I say so myself.
这是神经语言规划与我极具说服力的
It is a potent combination of neurolinguistic programming
-声音技巧的有力结合 -是啊
- and my persuasive vocal technique. - Yeah.
我很喜欢你每次大喊番茄肉酱烩意面时
I liked it when they had to do the hokey cokey
他们就控制不住地跳舞
every time you shouted spaghetti bolognese!
是啊 娱乐与教育同样重要
Aye, well, it is important to entertain as well as educate.
有时得用最基本的三原色作画
One sometimes has to paint in primary colours.
-这是您的房♥间 916房♥ -谢谢 姑娘
- This is your room, 916. - Thank you, child.
-麻烦你给我倒杯葡萄酒 -没问题
- I'll take a glass of vino when you're ready. - Of course.
我刚才跟您提起的那位女士在913房♥
And the lady I was telling you about is there in 913.
对了
Ah, yes.
你说她的感情不幸福
Unhappy in love, you say.
似乎是的 但之后我听说她男朋友点了这个
She seems to be, but then I heard her boyfriend order this.
里面藏了一枚订婚戒指
It has an engagement ring inside.
真是俗气啊
How very tacky!
她只是需要一点劝说 仅此而已
She just needs a little persuasion, that's all.
你能做到吗
Is that something you could do?
姑娘 我的催眠术曾让烟鬼停止抽烟
My child, I have hypnotised smokers to stop smoking
让胖子停止暴食
and fatties to stop eating.
我很确定我的技巧能让真爱之花再次盛放
I'm sure I can use my skills to make true love bloom again.
要是能看到美好的结局 该有多好
It would be nice to have a happy ending,
因为我觉得自己也有点责任
for I feel I am partly to blame.
来 我带你去找她
Come, I'll take you to her.
什么事 -打扰了 女士
Yes? - Excuse me, Madam.
这位是文斯·德·特兰斯
This is Vince De Trans.
他是桑泽巴酒店的催眠师
He's the hypnotist at Zanzibar.
我曾让一位女士回想起前世
I once regressed a lady through past lives.
原来她上辈子是埃及艳后的女仆
Turned out she was a maid of Cleopatra.
那跟我有什么关系
What on earth has that to do with me?
如果您能让我们进来一下 就明白了
If we could come in for a moment, you will see.
给你 女士 作为你辛苦的回报
Here you are, Madam. And I thank you for your pains.
我不太确定刚刚发生了什么 不过谢谢你 先生
I'm not sure what just happened, but thanks, Mister.
你愿意考虑女♥女♥双飞 上下叠加一起搞吗
Would you ever consider girl on girl?
我确实跟我姐姐睡过上下铺
I did once share a bunk bed with my sister.
我知道我房♥号♥是9开头的
Well, I know my door begins with number nine.
这个房♥门开着 估计就是我的房♥间啦
Oh, this one's open, guess it must be mine.
女士 你这是什么意思
Madam! What mean you by this?
像只被烫到的母猫一样喷了我一身
Like a scalded she-cat you have sprayed me!
不然你干嘛付我钱
Why else are you paying me?
付你钱 付你钱
Paying you? Paying you?
你对我做的事羞耻至极
You have done me the most disgraceful wrong.
我要让你受到严厉的"惩罚"
I will see that you are sorely punished.
好吧 但那得加收费用
Fine. But that'll cost you extra.
来吧 小子 喝一口酒
Now, come, sirrah, and take a sip of wine.
女士 你的"液体"我已经受够了
Madam, I have take had quite enough of your fluids.
我绝对不要了
I'll take no more.
有什么问题吗 先生
What seems to be the issue here, sir?
我的问题就是她
Her issue is my issue!
这个娼妓 这个怪物 这个红发妓♥女♥
This harlot, this creature, this redheaded whore. ..
-怎么了 -她刚刚...
- Yes? - ..Hasjust. ..
我都说不出口 她刚刚...
I can scarce get out the words. Has just...
把我当厕所用
Used me as a privy!
太好了
Excellent!
-我想一切进行得很顺利 -他不肯付钱
- And I trust it all went swimmingly. - He refuses now to pay.
您必须付钱给这位女士 先生
Oh, I must insist you pay the lady, sir.
否则 她就会赖着不走 在这大吵大闹
Otherwise, she is wont to stay and make a fuss
既然说到钱
and, whilst we're on it,
您能否把这个的另一半给我
perhaps you could supply the other half of this?
我是不是疯了
Have I gone mad?
这个世界怎么天翻地覆了
Has the world turned upside down?
我身心受到侮辱后 竟然还要我付钱
I am assaulted on all sides then ask to pay for the pleasure.
-要的就是这个啊 -你们在玩角色扮演吗
- That's the idea. - Is this some kind of role-play?
快付我钱
Pay me my money!
我拒绝
I will not!
你们能不能安静点
Will you please be quiet!
你们吵着我办正事了
You keep me from my work.
听着 小红 你先在这儿等等
Look, Red. You wait up here awhile
我去平息他的怒火
and I will soothe his ire.
我好饿 你答应了给我吃的
I'm hungry and you promised me a meal.
来 这些剩菜拿去
Here, take these leftovers.
-剩菜 -你看
- Leftovers? - Look!
-吃这个吧 没人动过 -好吧
- Here, have this. It hasn't been touched. - 0K.
给我两分钟就好 请吧
Give me but two minutes, I prithee.
姑娘 仪式已经完成了
Now, child, the ritual is complete
现在她已进入催眠状态
and she is in a trancelike state.
等你把她男朋友带到门前
When you bring her boyfriend to her door,
她第一眼看到他 就会重新爱上他
she will look upon him with new-found ardour
-并热情地拥抱他 -谢谢你 文斯
- and passionately embrace him. - Thank you, Vince.
爱神丘比特都不如你神通广大
Cupid himself could not have aimed more true.
我这就去带他来
I'll fetch him right away.
完美
Perfect.
您好 先生 我是女佣克莱特
Hello, kind sir. I am Colette the maid.
我有事找您 请跟我来
I'm on an errand, if you would be led.
那正好 你一定会读心术
Ah, good the maid. You must have read my mind.
我的床单上溅到点脏东西
There's been little spillage on the bed.
可是先生 我是指...
Oh, but, sir. I mean...
不 哈格里夫斯太太 您的房♥间是918号♥
No, Mrs Hargreaves, you're in here. 918.
-你是我儿子吗 -不是
- Are you my son? - No.
我带他出来 可他总是乱跑
I had him with me but he's forever wandering off.
我把1楼到9楼都找遍了
I have searched every floor from one to nine.
找我妈 她不知所踪
Of my mother, alas, there is no sign.
她那天走进博姿店真是太倒霉
I curse the day that she went into Boots.
她只是想买♥♥洗发水让头发变美
She only wanted Schwarzkopf for her roots.
她失足滑倒 像堆砖块滚下楼
She slipped and went down like a tonne of bricks,
浑身沾满止咳药 从头淋到脚
covered from head to toe in Tixylix
我就不该让她离开我的视线
Oh, I should never have let her from my sight.
但愿今晚有人在这儿见过她
I pray that someone's seen her here tonight.
你好
Ah, hello.
-这是哪位天使叩响了我的房♥门 -什么
- What angel is this knocks upon my door? - Sorry?
我心跳如雷 欣喜奔腾
My heart has burst and overflowed with joy.
沉鱼落雁 体态优雅
A vision of such beauty and rare poise.
我小时候确实学过芭蕾
I did do ballet lessons as a boy.
你的双眸仿若潭水 映照出我的身影
Thine eyes are pools wherein I see myself.
双颊柔软 犹如新雪
Thy apple cheeks are soft as new-fallen snow.
你要干什么
What are you doing?
两瓣樱唇 真想一亲芳泽
Two cherry lips, I long to take a bite.
我要喊人了
I'm going to be reporting this!
身材健硕有肌肉 叫我身下水长流
Thy firm physique doth make my juices flow!
-很高兴认识你 夫人 -是小姐
- It's very nice to meet you, Mrs... - Miss!