9号秘事

呼啸大劫案
有人吗
Hello?
-喂 -喂
- Hello?! - Hello?!
有回声
There's an echo.
我刚到
I've just arrived.
我刚到 等等
I've just arrived. Hold on.
我的回声怎么比我先到
How did my echo get here before me?
阿洛 转过来
Arlo, turn around.
小科 是你呀
Oh, Collie! It's you!
我买♥♥了你要用的三明治食材
I got them things you wanted for the sandwiches.
Hank Marvin[吉他手汉克·马文]是starvin[饿死]的同韵俚语
我现在就做一个行吗 我马上就要饿死了
Do you mind if I make one now? I'm absolutely Hank Marvin.
不行 你可以等其他人来了再做
No! You can wait until the others get here.
你都买♥♥了些什么
What did you buy?
手撕猪肉 卤[挤压]牛舌 还有火♥辣♥奶油酱[鞭子]
Pulled pork, pressed tongue, and a hot and spicy whip.
好恶心
That sounds disgusting!
你说你想要施虐-受虐[SM]精选
You said you wanted an S&M selection.
我说的是玛莎超♥市♥[MS]精选
I said an M&S select...!
算了
Never mind.
你在干什么 慢动作那段已经结束了
What are you doing? We're not in slow motion any more.
抱歉
Sorry.
老大到了
The boss is here.
他想让人帮他把车里的装备抬到屋里
He wants help bringing the hardware in from the car.
即兴喜剧中侍奉二主的仆人
-但我才刚给自己泡好一杯茶 -阿洛基诺
- But I've just made meself a tea! - Arlokino.
如果你们还没猜到的话
So, if you haven't already guessed,
本集是意大利即兴喜剧和抢劫电影的结合体
it's a sort of cross between commedia dell'arte and a heist movie.
大概是因为二者都会用到面具吧
I guess because they both use masks.
这是很机智的做法 从某种程度上来说
Which is quite clever, in a way,
但依然听起来像戏剧老师会对着撸的类型
but still sounds like something a drama teacher'd have a wank to.
但这都到第六季了
But, hey, it's series six,
你得体谅艺术上的枯竭
you've got to allow for a certain artistic exhaustion.
即兴喜剧中的女仆
科伦比娜
Columbina.
天啊 次要情节这就来了
Oh, God, here comes the subplot.
耐心跟我一起撑过去
Just stick with me on these bits
我们会尽快演完这一段的
and we'll get through them as quickly as possible.
科伦比娜 你得帮帮我
Columbina, you've got to help me.
我爸爸要我嫁给他的朋友 队长
My daddy wants me to marry his friend, the Captain,
我们甚至素未谋面
who I've never even met.
但我已经心有所属
But I have my heart set on another.
太不公平了
It's so unfair!
小姐 你♥爸♥爸今天无疑有其他事要忙
Surely, Miss, your father has other things on his mind today.
一千二百万其他事
Like, 12 million other things.
因为我们要偷的钻石价值一千二百万镑吗
Because the diamonds we're stealing are worth ￡12 million?
对 那...
Yes. That's...
对
Yes.
所以他抽不出时间
So, he's not going to have time
考虑求婚的事
to be thinking about marriage proposals.
不 就是因此他才会有时间
No, that's exactly why he is!
要是一切都按计划顺利进行
If everything goes according to plan,
那队长就会富有得超出他的想象
then the Captain'll be rich beyond his wildest dreams.
那爸爸就不用为我准备嫁妆了
Then my father will have no need to provide a dowry for me.
他就可以把所有财富都自己留着
He can keep all his own earnings to himself.
-快结束了 -他受贪婪驱使
- It's nearly finished. - He's being driven by greed
并不在乎我想嫁给谁
and not by my own wishes of who I want to marry.
但是小姐 我又能做什么呢
But, Madam, what can I do?
我在这个团队里只是一个卑微的女仆
I am just a lowly housemaid in this organisation.
我给我的真爱写了一封信 说明了我的困境
I've written a letter to my true beloved, explaining my plight.
请务必在今天他们干完这票之前 让他拿到这封信
Please see that he gets it before the end of the job today.
你想让我把这封信交给医生的...
You want me to give this letter to the Doctor's...
是的 拜托你了 一个字都别告诉我爸爸
Yes! Yes, please. And not a word to my father.
我想我们就假装
I guess we're just pretending that
即时通讯软件还有电子邮件不存在吧
WhatsApps and emails don't exist.
但我还是会把她的信转交给医生的儿子马里奥的
Still, I'll give her letter to the Doctor's son, Mario.
他脑子笨得要死 但身材好得要命
He's thick as shit, but fit as fuck!
科伦比娜 别假装《伦敦生活》了 快给我泡杯茶
Columbina, stop Fleabaggin' and make me a cup of splosh.
《伦敦生活》女主角也会对观众说话
打破第四面墙
好的 老爷 马上来
Yes, Master. Right away.
我不是假装《伦敦生活》 我在模仿《米兰达》
And I wasn't Fleabagging, I was Miranda-ing.
真有意思
Such fun. Ooh!
当心点 你个笨手笨脚的笨蛋
Careful with that, you clumsy cumwad!
里面的炸♥药♥
There's enough TNT in 'ere
足够把你仅有的两个微小脑细胞全炸飞
to blow both your tiny fucking brain cells out.
你有没有按我嘱咐你的 把格洛克带过来
Now, did you bring the Glock like I asked ya?
没有
No.
但我今早确实给我的表上弦了
But I did wind my watch up this morning,
虽然它是电子表
even though it's digital.
不 你的格洛克 你的手♥枪♥
No, your Glock, your pistol!
你说的是这个吗
You mean this?
别用枪指着我
Don't point it at me.
没事的 保险装置开着呢
It's all right, safety's on.
我的错
My bad.
我的鼻子告诉我 就是这里了
My nose tells me this is the place.
请允许我自我介绍一下
Allow me to introduce myself.
即兴喜剧中的军人
我是队长[病了 卡皮塔诺]I am Il Capitano.
很遗憾你病了
I'm sorry that you're ill,
但我不叫卡皮塔诺 我叫霍滕茜娅
but my name's not Capitano, it's Hortensia.
是啊
Ah, yes.
大名鼎鼎的霍滕茜娅[妓♥女♥]The Hor-tensia,
即兴喜剧中富有的长者
我可敬的朋友潘塔隆先生的女儿
daughter of my esteemed friend Senor Pantalone.
但你肯定听说过我的威名
But I'm sure you've heard of me by reputation.
即兴喜剧中的小丑
我是斯卡穆什
I am Scaramouche.
-小丑 -*你会跳...*
- Scaramouche? - * Will you do the... *
皇后乐队《波西米亚狂想曲》
-怎么回事 -我们买♥♥不起版权不能唱
- What happened there? - We couldn't afford the copyright.
真可惜
That's a shame.
你就是我爸爸要我嫁的那个人
You're the man that my father wants me to marry?!
在此之前 我都未曾听过你的美
Un-a-til a-now I had been a-deaf to your beauty
未曾见过你的嗓音 说不出你的香气
and blind to-a your voice, dumb to your scent
言不逮你的爱抚
and mute to-a your caress.
我希望在这一节中能改错这一正确
I hope to wrong that a-right over the course of this segment.
那么 你在这一票中的任务是什么 队长
So, what's your role in this job, Captain?
盯梢还是安保
Surveillance? Security?
我是爆破[撸管]方面的国际权威
I am international authority on booming.
-撸管 -对 对
- Booming? - Si, si.
因为我高超的爆破[撸管]技术
Because of my booming skills,
我想闯进[插♥进♥]哪都畅通无阻
I can a-smash my way in anywhere.
先失陪一下 我得用下卫生间
Will you excuse me? I just need the bathroom.
她因爱意满泻而吐了
Ah, she is sick with love.
霍滕茜娅 霍滕茜娅 别让我左右为难呀
Hortensia, Hortensia, don't a-leave me on the fence-ia!
我的情愫由来莫名
My feelings don't a-make sense-ia.
但愿不是阿尔兹海默症
I hope it's not dementia.
-斯卡穆什 -潘塔隆先生
- Oi, Scaramouche. - Ah, Senor Pantalone.
这里有些硝♥铵♥炸♥药♥[果冻] 你来看一看
Some gelignite here for you to take a look at.
我已经吃过了 但是依然感谢你
I have already eaten, but I thank you.
不 是炸♥药♥
No, it's fucking dynamite!
那就来一小碗吧
Maybe a small bowl, then.
-好了 医生随时都会到 -你怎么知道
- Right, the Doctor's going to be here any minute. - How do you know?
因为我不小心一下子翻了两页剧本
Because I accidentally turned over two pages of the script at once.
要是你帮我个忙[口味] 我就让你吃个三明治
Look, if you do me a favour, I'll let you have a sandwich.
-什么口味的 -"什么口味的忙"吗
- What flavour? - What flavour favour?
-什么口味的三明治 -你想要什么都行
- What flavour sandwich? - Whatever you want.
给我来一片美味的火腿
I'd like a lovely slice of ham.
瘦肉的吗[倾斜]Lean?
给我来一片美味的火腿
I'd like a lovely slice of ham.
你们一定在喜剧论♥坛♥
I bet you're loving this
大聊特聊这个双关梗吧
on the Cook'd and Bomb'd forum, aren't you?
把这封情书转交给医生的儿子 马里奥
Look, just give this love letter to the Doctor's son, Mario.
他看了就知道是谁写的 清楚了吗
He'll know who it's from. Understand?
那个学者说"多血症[过多]" 寡妇回道
The scholar says, "Plethora," and the widow says,
"谢谢 那意义重大[意思是很多]"
"Thanks, that means a lot."
轮到他一下子翻了两页剧本