难得幸福（2015）

在这个破灭的时代
So how do we sell happiness
我们怎么出♥售♥幸福呢
in the age of disillusionment?
哇哦
Wow.
这太棒了 做得太好了 玛雅
This is great. Great stuff, Maya.
真的很棒
That's really good.
同志们 这是这一年里销量最差的时段了
Team, this is the biggest pitch of the year.
可以说是我们过去的五年来销量最差的时段
This is the biggest pitch of the last five years.
她说得对
And she's right.
这确实是三十亿的
That is the $3 billion
周年广♥告♥费用的问题
annual advertising budget question.
我们要怎样在这个酷似冬日的负能量里
How do we sell an ice-cold can of happiness
贩卖♥♥我们的冰冻饮料呢
in a winter of discontent?
托拇 你有主义吗
Thom, any answers?
哦 呃 我觉得我还没有那么可悲
Oh, uh, I'm more of a misery guy.
我倒是可以解决百忧解的萧条问题
I'll handle the Prozac pitch.
你好呀 我是李 一个懂得感激的女儿
Hola! I am Lee, the ungrateful daughter.
这是我的意第绪妈妈
This is my Yiddishe mama.
妈妈今天很伤心
Mama is very sad today.
她昨天也很伤心
She was sad yesterday, too.
妈妈每天都很伤心
Mama is sad every day.
妈妈说 #*￥￥#@￥@（
Mama says, "Shver tzu zein a Yid."
那是意第绪语言
That's Yiddish!
说的是 当一个犹太人 很难
It means, "It's very hard to be a Jew."
你能说 #*￥￥#@￥@（吗
Can you say, "Shver tzu zein a Yid"?
#*￥￥#@￥@（
Shver tzu zein a Yid.
太棒了
Great!
这是潘兹
This is Pants.
潘兹感觉很糟糕 因为他买♥♥的这条裤子花了妈妈一百美元
Pants feels bad because his pants cost mama 100 dolares.
妈妈说美元可不会从树上长出来
Mama says dolares do not grow on trees.
哦 我们最好背上书包
Uh-oh, we better get Knapsack.
我们要出发前往愧疚旅行了
We're going on a guilt trip!
别哭 意第绪妈妈
Don't cry, Yiddishe Mama.
你能帮我和潘兹把这个礼物给朱尔斯吗
Will you help me and Pants bring this present to Julius?
太棒了
Great!
首先 我们需要说出大屠♥杀♥这个词
First we have to get through the Holocaust.
你能说 大屠♥杀♥吗
Can you say Holocaust?
太棒了
Great!
哦 我一直都知道你拥有天赋
Oh, I always knew you had talent.
抱歉
Excuse me?
我对你父亲说过 说你真的很有天赋
I told your father, "She has real talent."
你说过吗
You did?
哦 我当时真的为你感到骄傲
Oh, I was so proud of you.
我年轻的时候就想成为一个艺术家 你知道吗
I wanted to be an artist when I was younger, you know that?
你想当一名艺术家吗
You wanted to be an artist?
我从没努力过
I never tried, though.
妈
Ma.
为什么放弃
Why not?
这个嘛 我当时太忙了
Well, I was too busy.
你知道 或者我就是太胆怯了
You know, or maybe I was just afraid.
但你 我敢说你真的有料
But you... you I could see had real ability.
你怎么从没对我说过这些
How come you never told me that?
我为什么要说
Why would I tell you that?
因为你是我妈妈呀
Because you were my mother, Ma.
但说这些对你有帮助吗
But how would that help you?
我是说 你有一些天赋
I mean, you had some talent.
但并不多 我应该对你说谎吗
Not enough. I should lie to you?
我的意思是 身为父母的责任就是要对自己的孩子诚实
I mean, a parent's job is to be honest with their children.
你拥有天赋 但你永远也不能成为马克夏卡尔【法国画家】
You had some talent, but you were never gonna be Marc Chagall.
我知道的 我们都知道的
I knew that. We all knew that.
所以我应该鼓励你去做你注定会失败的事情吗
So I should encourage you to do something you'll fail at?
- 啊 - 你的孩子也许会认为
- Ugh. - You kids think being a liar
你撒谎的行为让你成为一个好家长
makes you a good parent.
但真♥相♥总是痛苦的 那才是真♥相♥
And the truth hurts, but it's the truth.
我的任务就是告诉你
It's my job to tell you.
而且也要对你那个丈夫说
And I'll tell you something about that husband of yours, too.
- 嗯 - 当下一场大屠♥杀♥来临之时
- Mm. - When the next Holocaust comes around,
你觉得他会拯救你吗
you think he's gonna save you?
哈 让我告诉你一件事吧 泡泡女
Ha! Let me tell you something, bubbeleh.
不要以为你嫁给了一个非犹太人
Just because you married a goy
就以为着当大屠♥杀♥来临之后
doesn't mean they're not gonna
他不会把你和朱尔斯送进毒气室里
throw you and Julius into the gas chambers.
贱♥人♥
Bitch!
啊
Ah!
你们看到她是如何对待自己的母亲了吗
You see how she treats her mother?
身为律师 我的意见是
My advice as a lawyer...
- 现在就退还回去 - 为什么
- send it back now. - Why?
你不想让她来宣城自己和朱尔斯
You don't want her to have any claim
之间的关系很好对吧
to a relationship with Julius.
嗯哼
Mm-mm.
我是说 如果你们俩死了
I mean, if you guys die
然后法♥院♥想要探问的话
or they decide they want visitations,
他们将会证明一段感情因素的
they'll have to prove a relationship.
亲爱的 还没到六点呢
Honey, it's not even 6:00.
你知道真正困扰我的是什么吗
You know what really bothers me?
乔纳森是对的
Jonathan was right.
那不仅仅关乎沙发 也不仅仅关乎盒子
It's not just a sofa. It's not just a box.
这些是幽灵 我们被幽灵包围了
These are ghosts. We're besieged by ghosts.
你母亲住在千里之外
Your mother lives a thousand miles away,
但她仍然能阻止你画画
and yet she can stop you from painting.
虚假的精灵会在真实的树上成长
Fake elves grow old in a make-believe tree.
在那儿 在树木的中♥央♥
And here, in the middle of the woods,
在他妈的伍德斯托克的中♥央♥ 纽约
in the middle of fucking Woodstock, New York,
我正挣扎在我客户的屁♥眼♥里
I'm in the shithouse with my client.
我们被幽灵和女巫追捕着
We're haunted by ghosts and witches.
双倍的麻烦 劳苦 麻烦
Double, double, toil and trouble.
就是这样的 幸福的泡沫就是这样被戳破的
Just like that, you fuck with our bubble.
妈妈叫什么
Mother is called
爸爸是爸爸 - 嘿 大孩子
Papa is your dad... - Hey, big J.
- 嘿 伙计 你准备好了吗 - 是的
- Hey, dude. You ready to go? - Yeah.
我们要带朱尔斯去吃完饭喽
We're taking Julesy out to dinner.
你就不怕他太依赖朵拉了吗
So are you worried that he's so into Dora?
不 我不担心朱尔斯太依赖朵拉
I'm not worried that Jules is into Dora, no.
我很担心整个世界都在担心
I'm worried that the rest of the world
朱尔斯太依赖朵拉
is worried that Julius is into Dora.
朱尔斯没有问题
It's not Julius I got the problem with.
有问题的是其他人
It's the rest of mankind.
我真的很想操多拉
'Cause I'd totally fuck Dora.
等一下 朵拉 亲爱的
Wait, Dora, honey,
有些东西我想和你一起去探索
there's something I want to explore with you.
开玩笑的
It's a joke.
如果你想留着的话也可以
You want to keep it, you can.
如果你想把它送回去 咱们也可以送回去
If you want to send it back, we can do that, too.
听你的 伙计
Your call, buddy.
你想要留着
You want to keep it?
她为什么把它送过来
Why did she send it?
我不知道
I don't know.
我见过她吗
Did I ever meet her?
在你很小的时候
When you were a baby.
我觉得了能是因为她现在老了
I think maybe she's getting old now
所以就是想更彻底的了解你
and she just wants to get to know you better.
为什么她从来没有来过
How come she doesn't ever come over?
其实 我们不怎么合得来
Well, you know, we didn't get along so much.
为什么
How come?
我妈不怎么爱我
My mother didn't really love me very much.
嗯
Mm?
有些母亲是这样的
Some mothers are like that.
有些父亲也是这样的 没错
And some fathers, too, yeah.
嘿 但你父母不是这样
Hey, but not yours.
你怎么想 伙计
So what do you think, buddy?
你想要留着吗
Do you want to keep it?