难得幸福（2015）

这个嘛 我们是不应该把寄件送回去的
Well, we're not supposed to return to sender
因为我们已经把东西交到收件人手里了
once we hand it over to the customer,
但是你的理由如此充分
but a mother package...
所以好吧 拿进来吧
Sure, bring it in.
哦 太感谢了
Oh, thank you. Okay.
我能明天再给你吗
Can I have till tomorrow?
- 明天 - 我只是还不太确定
- Tomorrow? - I just don't know yet.
你去年圣诞给我小费了吗
Did you tip me last Christmas?
给了 给了50块
Yeah, 50 bucks.
那好吧 就一天
Okay, one day.
别把东西搞坏了 也别摔坏了 好吗
And don't fuck it up and drop it and shit, okay?
- 凯文 - 事关我的饭碗呢
- Kevin! - It's my ass on the line.
- 万分感激 - 好吧
- Thank you. - All right.
万分感激
Thank you.
那些是精灵 戈特弗雷德
They're elves, Gottfrid.
50岁的精灵 托拇
50-year-old elves, Thom.
是李奥 贝纳在1968年创造出来的
Created in 1968 by Leo Burnett.
我是说 李奥自己虽然已经死了40年了
I mean, Leo himself has been dead for 40 years.
当我告诉客户的时候
When I told that to the client,
他们简直不敢相信
they couldn't believe it.
抱歉 你是说你给我的客户说了吗
Sorry, sorry. You told that to my client?
我是这间办公室的创意总监 托拇
I'm creative director in this office, Thom.
我是说 如果我觉得客户需要崭新的人生的话 我是会说的
I mean, I tell clients if I think they need new life.
我们已经邀请他们明天来公♥司♥看新作了
We invited them to our office tomorrow to see new work.
戈特弗雷德 我整个下午都要参加可口可乐战略会议
Gottfrid, I've got a Coke strategy meeting all afternoon.
我哪有时间来给你们展示明天的新作
When the hell am I gonna prepare new work for tomorrow?
你是个忙碌的男人 托拇
You're a busy man, Thom.
我们都知道
We know that.
古斯塔夫有个主意想与你分享
Gustaff had an idea he wanted to share with you.
哦 太好了
Oh, good.
那么 基布勒尔向来都是以真实著称的 是吧
So Keebler talks about real, yes?
真实的原料 真实的薯片 什么都是真实的
Real ingredients, real chips, real, real, real,
然而瞧瞧他们的代言人
and yet these are their spokespeople.
却是虚假的卡♥通♥作品
Fakes, cartoons.
为什么你就是看不惯那些精灵
Why are you always trying to get rid of elves?
欧尼
Ernie.
马
Ma.
杰杰
J.J.
音速埃迪
Fast Eddie.
我们不需要那些虚假的精灵
We want to get rid of the fake elves.
- 托拇 - 这些才是真的
- Thom - These are real
正如我和基布勒尔一样 是真实的
just like I'm real and Keebler fudge is real.
我的个天啊 玛雅 这些是侏儒啊
Holy shit, Maya. Midgets?
侏儒能行吗
Do midgets test well?
对极少数人而言还是可行的
Little people, Thom.
侏儒已经没有问题了 托拇
Reality tests well with the millenials, Thom.
我们一直在纠结于精灵的表现方式
We have been struggling with the perception of the elves
这些早已过时了
as old and out of touch.
他们一直在要求换一种方式
They've been asking for something new.
这个嘛 我只能代表生产部门说话
Well, I can only speak for the production department,
如果要再想让我们推出一个精灵的话
but if we never had to animate another elf,
我会很震惊的
I'd be thrilled.
- 你喜欢这主意吗 - 喜欢啊
- Do you like this idea? - Yes.
我认为至少可以向他们展示一下吧
I think it's at least worth sharing with them.
老天啊
Jesus.
我们在网上做一套方案
We do a series on the web.
那是我们的目标群体所在地
Okay? Where our target lives.
提高生产价值 顶尖设计
High production values, top directors.
不要太商业化 做个短片 好吗
Not commercials, but short films, okay?
让我们把精灵变得更加真实 多加点料
Let's show these elves with some real problems.
真实的剧情 真实的巧克力
Real issues. Real chocolate.
例如杰杰的女朋友把他给甩了
J.J.'s girlfriend dumps him
或是音速埃迪得到一张糟糕的成绩单
or Fast Eddie gets a bad report card.
就像是现实生活中会发生的事
Real issues with real people,
因为他们是真实的
because they are real,
就像我们的产品
just like our fudge.
它们将会真正称上 真实 的名号♥
They would totally own "Real."
你们知道谁会胜任这项任务吗
You know who would be great for this spot?
兰斯 奥科特
Lance Acord.
他导演了那部大众汽车的广♥告♥短片
He directed that great VW spot.
我还在想让诺姆 莫若做呢
I was thinking Noam Murro.
那个执导了威利旺卡短片的导演呢
What about the guy that did the Willy Wonka films?
呜巴鲁巴的所有作品都是他做的
He did all that great Oompa Loompa work.
不不 要拍成纪录片式的短片 要真实
No, no, a documentarian. For real.
肯 伯恩斯
Ken Burns.
迈克尔 摩尔也不错的
Michael Moore could be good.
不要迈克尔 摩尔
Not Michael Moore.
我们必须保持亲切性
We have to stay approachable.
基布勒尔的核心价值是真实 还有亲切
Keebler's core attributes are real and approachable.
哦
Oh.
是啊 罗博 莱纳
Yes. Rob Reiner.
罗博 莱纳
Rob Reiner?
你们有看过华尔街之狼这部电影吗
Have you seen "Wolf of the Wall Street"?
他现在超级红的好吗
He's totally hot right now.
- 是啊 - 可他不是纪录片制♥作♥人啊
- Uh-huh. - He's not a documentarian.
脊椎抽液 史上最棒的纪录片
"Spinal Tap." Best documentary ever.
你好 克利夫兰
"Hello, Cleveland!"
那并不能算是纪录片吧
That's not a real documentary.
所以呢
So?
所以你是想怎样 用一部虚假的纪录片
So, what, you want to use a fake documentarian
来制♥作♥一个关于虚假精灵的真实电影
to make a real film about fake elves
从而让虚假精灵变得真实吗
to make them seem real?
这家伙要去11楼了哟
"This one goes to 11."
- 嘿 - 今天过得如何了
- Hey. - How's your day?
操蛋透了 精灵变侏儒
Shitty. Elves are fake.
我整个下午要泡在可口可乐会议上
I'm in a Coke meeting all afternoon
而且我的沙发也不见了
and my sofa's missing.
你呢
You?
我妈给朱尔斯寄了个礼物
Ma sent Jules a present.
礼物在哪儿呢
Where is it?
在我们餐厅的桌上呢
On our dining room table.
哦 天啊 李
Oh, Christ, Lee.
你为什么要把那玩意儿拿回家呢
Why the fuck did you bring it home in the first place?
因为我是个可悲女
Because I'm pathetic.
邮局里那男的说我可以明天给退回去 于是
Guy at the post office said I could bring it back tomorrow, so...
现在就拿回去 李
Take it back now, Lee.
这根本不是什么给朱尔斯的礼物
That's not a present for Julius.
这是在对你说“操♥你♥妈♥”
It's a "Fuck you" To you.
这玩意儿正端坐在那儿盯着我呢
It's just sitting there, staring at me.
我什么也没做 根本没敢碰它
I haven't done any work. Not one fucking minute.
这恰恰就是你妈想要的效果
Which is precisely what your mother wanted.
李 现在就拿回去
Take it back now, Lee.
好啦 操 我要挂了 我稍后再打给你
Okay. Shit, I've gotta go. I'll call you later.
可口可乐会议1点在卡耶夫斯基召开
Coke meeting at 1:00 in Chayefsky.
- 22楼吗 - 24楼
- On 22? - 24.
- 不是服务生名字都是22楼吗 - 我觉得他应该是个导演
- Writers are on 22. - I thought he was a director.
- 何出此言 - 因为在24楼啊
- Why? - Because he's on 24.
好吧 诺娜 这会议到底他妈在哪儿开
Okay, Lorna, where the fuck is the meeting?
就在李旁边
It's next to Lee.
哈铂吗
Harper.
斯派克
Spike.
我♥操♥
For fuck's sake.
你送的到底是个啥 妈
What is it, Ma?
你给我儿子送了啥 该不会是圣经吧
What'd you get him, a fuckin' Torah?
你听听你这话 不怕遭天谴吗
From your mouth to God's ears.
难道你没发现这里的讽刺之处吗
Don't you see the irony here?
这么多年来你一直都说我是个坏母亲
All those years you told me I was a bad mother,
但你瞧 你自己还不是把本该属于你儿子的礼物退还
and here you are sending your son's present back.
哦 所以我才是个坏母亲喽
Oh, so I'm the bad mother?
我可从没退过属于你的礼物
I never sent your presents back.