难得幸福（2015）

他们看起来确实像是在过星期六
They sure like Saturday.
嗯 是的 谁不想呢 周六是很棒的
Well, yeah. Who doesn't? Saturdays are awesome.
唱的真好 给你们自己一轮掌声
Great job. Give yourselves a round of applause.
你们过的开心吗
Did you have a good time?
是的
Yes.
那我们应该感谢谁 当我们过的很开心
And who do we thank when we had a good time?
- 上帝 -为什么呢
- God. - Why?
因为他是宇宙的统治者
'Cause he's the ruler of the universe?
嗯，这个是有争议的。
Well, that's debatable.
为什么他对我们这么好
And why did he give us a good time?
因为我们遵守了他的命令
Because we obeyed his commandments?
- 说的正是 - 不是这样的
- That's exactly right. - That's not true.
好吧 我觉得现在应该
All right, I think it's time for a little
唱 哈希姆降临于此 对吧
"Hashem is Here," Okay?
哈希姆降临于此 哈希姆降临于此
Hashem is here, Hashem is there...
- 谁是哈希姆 - 希伯来语里的神
- Who's Hashem? - That's Hebrew for "God."
什么是神
What's God?
嗯 等下给你解释
Ugh... I'll explain it later.
他听上去很严格
He sounds strict.
好吧 你知道的 他做事井井有条
Well, you know, He runs a tight ship.
哈希姆怎么做到无处不在的
How can Hashem be everywhere?
我不知道
I don't know.
他现在在这儿吗
Is he here now?
嗯 我猜在的
Uh, I guess so.
我睡着的时候他也在吗
Is he there when I sleep?
你知道的 我们上车上说这些吧
You know, why don't we talk about it in the car?
走吧
Let's go.
我拉屎的时候他也在吗
Is he there when I poop?
好吧 安静 走走走
Okay, shh. Go, go, go, go, go.
哈希姆真的无处不在
Hashem is truly everywhere...
我可以拿一块曲奇吗
Can I take a cookie?
- 嗯 - 可以
- Mm. - Please.
可以 但只可以拿一块
Okay, but just one.
他们就是这么掌控你的 你知道的
This is how they get you, you know.
曲奇只是开始
It's a gateway cookie.
不久他就会向你要披巾 ［犹太教男子晨祷时使用］
Pretty soon you're gonna be asking for a tallis.
- 披巾是什么 - 跟披肩有点像
- What's a tallis? - Oh, it's like a cape.
好吧 我想要披肩
Well, I want a cape.
好吧 你不会得到披肩的 去
Well, you're not getting a cape. Go.
这是开玩笑吗
Is this some kind of joke?
我们知道这对你们来说很新奇
We know it's out of the box for you guys,
但沉浸式的产品体验
but immersive product engagement
可以扫除障碍 给楚巴尼带来了种种奇迹 ［美国著名酸奶品牌］
can really move the needle. Worked wonders for Chobani.
托姆人呢
Where's Thom?
啊 他被叫出去了
Uh, Thom actually got called away.
他同意了吗
Did he approve this?
上将 你的数字正在下跌
General, your numbers are down.
不停歇地下跌
And they're going to continue to go down
除非你做点令人难忘的事
unless you do something memorable...
孩子 你真的想要
Son, are you really proposing
让我们送一堆演员
that we send a team of actors
到一个美国小镇
into an American small town
让人以为恐♥怖♥分♥子♥占领了小镇吗
and pretend it's a terrorist takeover?
没错
Yes.
很明确的说 这只是一个构思
This is just one idea, obviously.
你们有没有想过
You folks are aware, are you not,
美国拥有比全世界
that America has the highest
任何国家都高的人均持枪率
gun per capita ratio of any nation in the world?
有三亿把枪流通全国
There's 300 million guns out there.
塞尔维亚位居其次
The second closest is Serbia.
上将 我们清楚
We are aware of that, General.
我们认为持枪数
We think that gun-ownership number
恰反映了独特情况下 偏激的机遇
reflects a unique paranoia opportunity
排演好的恐♥怖♥分♥子♥的能力
that a staged terrorist takeover
效果一定会很出彩
can play really well into.
军队不是酸奶
The Army is not yogurt.
我们不做恶作剧
We don't engage in pranks.
等到时候 我们再来争辩
And while we can debate whether or not
枪♥支♥所有权偏不偏激这个问题
gun ownership indicates paranoia,
无需辩论来说 这证明了
there's no doubt that what it does indicate
枪的参与的重要性
is the very heavy presence of guns.
我不知道 这主意从哪里来 孩子
I don't know what it's like where you're from, son,
但是让一堆演员
but you take a handful of actors,
打扮成信仰伊♥斯♥兰♥教的恐♥怖♥分♥子♥
dress them up like Islamic terrorists,
将他们送到美国小镇的中♥央♥
and drive them into the middle of small-town America,
我敢肯定并且唯一确定的事是
I can assure you of one thing and one thing only.
演员们的身躯肯定会布满枪眼
There will be so many bullet holes in those actors,
打得连妈妈都不认得
their own mothers won't recognize them.
操♥你♥妈♥ 拉里
Fuck you, Larry.
我会打给他们
I'll call them.
对 你操蛋的没错 你会打给他们
Yeah, you're goddamn right you're gonna call 'em.
我和达尼在一起
I was with Dani.
哦 操♥你♥妈♥ 托姆
Oh, fuck you, Thom.
我就算跟上帝一起我都不关心
I don't care if you were with God.
如果你要退出 那滚
If you wanna quit, quit.
别拉我下水
Don't take me down with you.
我绞尽脑汁不让那群瑞典佬接近你
I am killing myself keeping the Swedes off you.
我全方面地保护着你
I am protecting you at every turn.
军队是你操蛋的最大客户
The Army is your biggest goddamn account.
你居然这样乱搞了 有没有搞错
You're gonna fuck around? Come on.
我♥干♥不下去了 强
I can't do this anymore, Jon.
我没法 这一直都是病态的
I can't. It's... it's always been sick,
但最近发展为病毒性的
but lately it's just gotten viral.
这是工作 托姆
It's a job, Thom.
本就恶心
It's supposed to suck.
洞穴人不喜欢狩猎
The cavemen didn't like hunting,
但是要狩猎来维系生存
but they did it to stay alive.
狮子不喜欢追逐瞪羚
The lion doesn't like chasing the gazelle,
但他天天如此
but he does it every day.
我还要说些其他的
And I'll tell you something else.
有一天 狮子扪心自问
The day the lion asks himself
猎杀瞪羚是不是对的
if he's right to kill the gazelle
那天也就是狮子的死期
is the day the lion dies.
今天 好好为上校服务
Make it right with the general today.
我很抱歉听到拉里的事情 托姆
I was sorry to hear about Larry, Thom.
没错 没错 我也是
Yeah. Yeah, me too.
我们伊♥拉♥克♥自♥由♥行动时 有个说辞
We had a saying during Operation Iraqi Freedom, right?
拥抱惨淡
Embrace the suck.
没错 你能看见有时候他这么写的
Yeah, you'd see it written sometimes,
ETS 涂在墙上 写在靴子上 [Embrace The Suck的缩写]
"ETS," On walls, on boots.
你要拥抱一切惨淡
You gotta just embrace the suck.
生活亦是如此
It's true for life too.
没错 嗯 上校
Yeah, uh, look, General,
我很抱歉自己开会溜号♥
I'm sorry I bailed on the meeting.
今天谈论死亡和毁灭
I just wasn't in the mood
我有点心情不好
to talk about death and destruction today.
没事 没啥
Yeah, no shit.
我记得我刚刚参军的时候
I remember when I first joined the military.
我们年轻的军人十分骄傲
All us young soldiers prided ourselves, right,
我们愿意为彼此献身 为国捐躯
on our willingness to die for each other, for our country.
我们觉得这是一个人能做的最勇敢的事情
We thought it was the bravest thing you could do.
等你老了
And then you get older.
陷入爱情 缔结婚姻
And you fall in love and you get married
拥有孩子之后
and you have some kids.
你意识到活着比捐躯更加勇敢
And you realize it's a far braver thing to stay alive.
不是为何而死
It's not what you'll die for.
而是有的时候 你要在
It's what in this sometimes shitty world
操蛋的世界里活着
you'll stay alive for.
没错
Yeah.
我得说 这 嗯 很奇怪 这个观念出自一个杀了三十五人
Gotta say, it's, uh, strange accepting that level of wisdom