难得幸福（2015）

Oh, yeah, baby. Fuck my ass.
开始吧 进进出出
There we go. In through the out door.
得了吧 认真点
Come on, take it seriously.
她很痛苦
She's in agony.
－她是假装的 －不 她不是假装的
- She's faking it. - No, she is not faking it.
有根其大无比的鸡♥巴♥ 捅入她的蜜♥穴♥
There's a gigantic cock shoved up her asshole.
等等 你不能说她假装高♥潮♥
Hang on, you can't say that she's faking the pleasure,
如果很痛苦 怎么假装高♥潮♥
but she's not faking it when it's pain.
表情要统一 我正看着呢
You got to be consistent. I was watching that.
噢 我觉得假高♥潮♥更简单
Oh, I think it's easier to fake pleasure.
真的 那么 真令人宽慰
Yeah? Well, that's reassuring.
这是生日礼物还是什么别的
Is this a birthday present or what?
黄♥片♥ 剃了毛的阴♥部♥
Porno, shaved pussies.
你知道 有一天我在读关于阿耳茨海默氏症的东西 ［即早老性痴呆症]
You know, I read something about Alzheimer's the other day.
是阿尔茨海默症让你睡不着吗
or Alzheimer's that makes you not sleep?
得知这个消息之后我简直不知道该怎么做了
I don't know what I'm supposed to do with that information.
你认为我的阴♥道♥需要做紧缩术吗
Do you think my pussy needs tightening?
什么
What?
我想如果它更紧一点的话或许能让你更爽
I thought maybe it would be better for you if it was tighter.
噢 宝贝 宝贝 听着 过来 嘿
Oh, baby, baby, listen. Come here. Hey.
到底是什么在困扰你
Why bother with you at all?
我只需要一瓶酒和一个血压表袖套
I could just get a bottle of wine and a blood pressure cuff.
你知道吗 宝贝
You know, baby?
不是因为 亲爱的 不是因为你
It's not... honey, it's not you.
是该死的百忧解 它才是让我硬不起来的东西
It's the fucking Prozac it's a hard-on killer.
为什么我们不试试伟哥
Why don't we just try a Viagra?
他们是伟哥的客户 是吧
They're a client, right?
奇宝会给你那些该死的小药片
Keebler gives you all those fucking cookies.
我担心伟哥会和百忧解相抵触 知道吗
I'm worried the Viagra will interfere with the Prozac, you know?
这就是生活
That's life.
交织着快乐和温暖或是痛苦和艰难
You know, happy and soft or miserable and hard.
但是即使是痛苦和艰难我也淡然处之
I would be totally fine with miserable and hard.
- 顺便告诉你 如果你
- Just for the record, if you...
妈妈
Mom!
- 多亏没在做♥爱♥ - 多亏没在做♥爱♥
- We're not fucking. - We're not fucking.
妈妈
Mom!
来了 宝贝
Coming, honey.
呃 我以前喜欢剃过毛的阴♥部♥
You know, I used to like shaved pussies.
我们继续
Oh, here we go.
但是现在只要看到剃过毛的阴♥部♥我只能想到
But now whenever I see them, all I can think of
那该死的越南女孩跑向大街
is that fucking Vietnamese girl running down the street
身上覆盖着凝固汽油
covered in napalm.
我几乎都不看黄♥片♥了
I can barely watch porn anymore.
这真是化学战所带给你的悲剧
That is the real tragedy of chemical warfare.
- 妈妈 - 这就来了 宝贝
- Mom! - I'm right here, sweetheart.
嘿 你能不能不要在朱利叶斯睡觉前给他读《好奇的乔治》
Hey, can you not read Julius "Curious George" Before bed?
他很害怕故事里戴黄色帽子的那个人
He's terrified of the man in the yellow hat.
他很胆小 他是个胆小鬼
He's fearful. He's a fearful child.
不 你才胆小 他才6岁
No, you're fearful. He's six.
我为他胆小而担心
I'm fearful that he's fearful.
该死的混♥蛋♥
Fucking asshole.
来看看 史蒂夫 乔布斯写的书
Check it out. Steve Jobs' book.
- 已经看过了 - 你看的是精♥装♥本
- Read it. - You read the hardcover.
我看过了精♥装♥版和平装版
I read the hardcover and the paperback.
这是既有精♥装♥版又有平装版的Kindle版
This is the Kindle version of the paperback of the hardcover.
- 不可能吧 -有可能哦
- No way. - Way.
我想要在电影出来前读完新版本
Wanted to read the new format before the movie came out.
有90页的新材料
90 pages of new material.
所以这是在开♥发♥iPod前的暗夜
So, it's the night before the launch of the iPod.
乔布斯亲自到工厂去检查问题
Jobs goes down to the factory to check things out,
- 他只是不喜欢那声音 -什么声音
- only he doesn't like the sound. - What sound?
- 耳机插孔的声音 - 咔哒声
- The headphone Jack sound. - The click?
是声音 他追求更好听的声音
The sound. He wants a better sound.
所以他征集了一个100人的工程师队伍
So he gets a team of 100
工作了一整晚来找出可以代替的新声音
engineers to work all night to replace them.
- 100人 - 整晚
- 100? - All night.
他是个天才
Guy was a genius.
他真是个操蛋的天才
Guy was a fucking genius.
这让我想到了托马斯 杰斐逊
Which brings me back to Thomas Jefferson.
托马斯 杰斐逊并不是问题所在
Thomas Jefferson isn't the problem.
杰斐逊只是尝试着帮助
Jefferson was trying to help.
是我 我才是那个该死的问题
It's me. I'm the fucking problem.
我的名字叫托马斯 佩恩
My name is Thomas Payne and I...
我为撒旦工作
I work for Satan.
我已经为黑暗的统治者工作了20年
I've worked for the dark lord for 20 years now
因此我说的带有很大程度的权威性
and so I say this with a fair degree of authority,
该死的《广♥告♥狂人》
fuck "Mad Men."
广♥告♥业根本没那么酷
There's nothing cool about advertising,
简直平淡无奇
there's nothing interesting.
目前我们做着世界上的任何其他人
We do the same thing that
一样相同的事
everyone else in the world does these days
我们得讨好那些满脸青春痘
we kiss the zit-covered asses
却又自大无知的青少年
of arrogant, know-nothing teenagers.
苍蝇王在那里 伙计们
It's "Lord of the Flies" Out there, folks.
每个超过18岁的人都像猪
And everyone over 18 is piggy.
死定了 汤姆 我们都死定了
I'm fucked, Thom. We all are.
他为何宣布这样的公告
When did he make this announcement?
今天早晨 你认识他们吗
This morning! Do you know them?
我听说过他们 他们是瑞典人
I know of them, they're Swedes.
- 所有人都是这么称呼他们的 - 古斯塔夫和高特弗里德
- That's what everyone calls them. - Gustaf and Gottfrid.
所以怎样 乔纳森宣布他们是新的创意总监
So, what, Jonathan just announces these new creative directors,
然后把你叫到他办公室炒了你吗
calls you into his office and fires you?
还没有 但是他们会的 我知道
No, but they will. I know it.
黛比 你是这公♥司♥里最好的客户总监
Debbie, you're the best account director this company has.
我都老的可以是他们的妈妈了
I could be their mother.
但这并不意味着他们想炒了你啊
That doesn't mean they want to fire you.
这意味着他们想操你
It means they want to fuck you.
喔 他们会操♥我♥
Oh, they're gonna fuck me.
相信我 他们想操♥我♥
Trust me, they are gonna fuck me!
他们不会解雇你的 我也不会让他们解雇你
They're not gonna fire you. I won't let them.
可是你没有任何职权
You don't have any power.
其实我有一些的
I have some power.
已经不再有了
Not anymore.
你为什么要对我这么刻薄
So why are you bitching to me?
因为你有感情
Because you have heart.
也正因此你没有权力
And that's why you have no power.
乔纳森想在12点见你
Jonathan wants to see you at 12:00.
我会被炒吗
Am I being fired?
米卡尔打电♥话♥想知道他是否会被炒
Mikal phoned, wants to know if he's being fired.
特蕾西打电♥话♥想知道她是否会被炒
Tracey phoned, wants to know if she's being fired.
拉里打电♥话♥想知道你是否会被炒
Larry phoned, wants to know if you're being fired.
- 今天会是有趣的一天 - 你知道什么 去你♥妈♥的♥
- It's gonna be a fun day. - You know what? Fuck this.
- 告诉乔纳森我现在就想见他 - 我会告诉乔纳森的
- Tell Jonathan I want to see him now. - I'll tell Jonathan
不管之前已经安排好的计划你现在就想见他
you want to see him now regardless of prior schedule commitments.
我不关心他现在在吃哪个瑞典人的洋屌♥
I don't care which Swedish dick he's sucking.
那是什么 有关雷达的东西吗
What is that, some kind of radar thing?
她跟我完全不是一路人了
She's been with me way too long.
- 雷达 - 奥莱里 来自《风流医生俏护士》
- Radar? - O'Reilly. From "Mash."
什么是《风流医生俏护士》
What's "Mash"?
哦 我天 你现在多大了
Oh, my God. How old aren't you?
你可以在五点半和古斯塔夫以及高特弗里德面谈吗
Can you do a 5:30 face-to-face with Gustaf and Gottfrid?
谁把会议安排在了五点半
Who schedules a meeting at 5:30?
- 古斯塔夫和高特弗里德 - 也许他们还活在瑞典时间
- Gustaf and Gottfrid. - Maybe they're still on Swedish time?
好吧 我向朱尔斯保证过今晚会给他带去五个朋友
Well, I promised Jules I'd take him to five guys tonight.
好吧
Okay.
操 好吧 告诉他们我会去参加会议
Fuck it! All right, tell them I'll be there.
收到
Got it.
查理周刊的受袭
The Charlie Hebdo shootings
意味着新的基♥地♥组♥织♥成立 专家这么说的
suggest a new Al-Qaeda, experts say.
你已经开始转手给本拉♥登♥了
You got to hand it to Bin Laden.
他在911那天都花了什么 花了几万美元