难得幸福（2015）

What'd he spend on 9/11? Couple hundred grand?
我可不会花那么多钱去做个网络电影
I couldn't make a web film for that much.
自从那之后基♥地♥组♥织♥就开始登上了各个杂♥志♥的封面
Al-Qaeda's been on the cover of every magazine ever since.
9月10号♥ 从没有人听过那个名字
9/10, no one ever heard of that brand.
9月12号♥ 已经人人知晓了
9/12, not a person alive who hadn't.
科学与国际安全研究所也出现并将其市场扩展到了西部
ISIS comes along, expands the market to the west.
- 女人也加入了这个组织 你知道吗 - 我知道
- Women are joining that group. Did you know that? - Yeah.
这些专门杀人的混账东西也是营销好手
These homicidal motherfuckers are fantastic marketers.
基♥地♥组♥织♥不是一个明牌 乔纳森
Al-Qaeda is not a brand, Jonathan.
那是一个恐怖组织
It's a terrorist organization.
一切都是品牌 汤姆 我是品牌 你也是
Everything's a brand, Thom. I'm a brand, you're a brand.
上帝也是 是陷于困境的品牌
God's a brand. And a brand in trouble.
你要被抄了吗
Are you getting fired?
一切都已改变 汤姆
Things have changed, Thom.
思考已经不如推特更重要
Thinking is not as important as tweeting.
古斯塔夫和高特弗里德已经有
Gustaf and Gottfrid have
成千上万的粉丝 而你还在玩美国在线
thousands of followers and you're on AOL.
抱歉 我被解雇的原因是没有脸书账户吗
Sorry, am I getting fired for not having a Facebook account?
你的测试很糟糕 汤姆 你的品位很好
You test poorly, Thom. You taste great,
但现在的世界已经不需要了
but it's a less filling world.
你的衣服很古板 你的身材走样 你44岁了
Your clothes suck, you're out of shape. You're 44.
操 你已经52了
Fuck you, you 52-year-old,
穿紧身牛仔裤的混♥蛋♥
skinny jeans-wearing asshole.
这是领导层 汤姆
Executive level, Thom.
市里的避难所会有50多个
The city of refuge for the bespectacled
戴眼镜的流浪汉
lumpenproles of the 50-plus crowd.
董事会给了这两个瑞典人♥权♥力
The board has given the
让他们监管创意部门
Swedes control of the creative department.
- 他们想要扭转时局 - 我必须向他们报告吗
- They want to turn things around. - I have to report to them?
老天 汤姆 现在整个广♥告♥业陷于困境
Jesus Christ, Thom. The industry is in the shitter.
你知道的 所有的公♥司♥都是
You know that. They all are.
我们曾达到美国顶峰
We've hit peak America.
我们现在只能坐在顶峰下的泥潭旁
We're sitting in a puddle of was.
再过几个月 我可能就会被该死的app所取代
In a couple of months, I expect to be replaced by a fucking app.
听着 我还是挺喜欢你的 汤姆
Look, I love you, Thom,
但你若想扳回一局
but if you want to survive this,
就必须得趟这条浑水
you've got to play the game.
尽情大展拳脚 革新自我
So marketer, rebrand thyself.
- 一定有什么别的地方是我可以去的 - 你想去哪儿啊
- There must be somewhere I can go. - Where do you wanna go?
你想去什么操蛋的数码公♥司♥么
Do you wanna go to some fucking digital company
那里的人像脑子进屎了一样 奇葩的想法分分钟喷涌而出
where they're coming up with shitty Facebook ideas all day?
谁会来鸟你
They won't touch you. Do you know that the average age
你难道不知道给脸书干活的平均年龄只有二十九吗
of the Facebook employee is 26?
谷歌♥是三十一 苹果是三十三
31 at Google. 33 at Apple.
你呢 还是继续蹲在管理部门 拍拍那些北欧人的马屁
You stay at MGT. Kiss some nordic ass.
去写你的脑洞大开的小说吧 我可算你的伯乐了
Write your fucking novel. And I'm a headhunter.
告诉你这些狗屁道理可废了我不少银子
I lose money telling you this shit.
你现在依旧需要一个广♥告♥文字撰稿人不是吗
You still need a copywriter, right?
你有没有看过格温的作品
Did you check out Gwen's portfolio?
她的才华简直屌♥炸天
She's a fucking genius.
政♥府♥雇员保险公♥司♥的壁虎和美国家庭人寿保险公♥司♥的鹅都是她的点子
Great work for Geico Gecko and the Aflac goose.
是鸭不是鹅
It's a duck, by the way.
如果真是只鸭 那可真是搞笑了
Oh, now, that's even funnier.
我也不知道 就是觉得
I just think, I don't know,
我去其他地方可能会更开心些
I'd be happier someplace else.
你这讲神话故事呢吧 汤姆
That's a myth, Thom.
你现在不过得就是最开心的生活么
You're as happy right now as you can ever be.
每个人都有愉悦感的上限
We each have our own joy ceiling.
这和你赚多少钱
It doesn't matter how much fucking money you have
家庭是不是美满
or how perfect your family is
赢了多少普利策奖都没有半毛关系
or how many Pulitzers you win.
打破了那层愉悦感的上限 你也就算玩完了
You hit your joy ceiling and you're done.
这就是耶稣哭泣的原因 上限太低了
That's why Jesus wept. Low joy ceiling.
理查德 西蒙斯 上限就很高
Richard Simmons, high joy ceiling.
那个该死的僧人 叫啥来着
And that fucking monk, what's his name?
一行禅师 我也不知道什么鬼 他的幸福上限就爆棚
Thich Nhat whatever the fuck, very high joy ceiling.
汤姆 佩恩 上限低
Thom Payne, low joy ceiling.
追逐快乐幸福不是我们的问题
It's not the pursuit of happiness that's our problem.
我们的问题是在我们累惨的时候没有接受幸福的能力
It's our inability to accept when we have maxed out.
你觉得自己不幸福吗
You think you're not happy?
相信我 汤姆 你是幸福到不能再幸福了
Trust me, Thom, you couldn't possibly be happier.
福特牌花♥花♥公♥子♥
Forta-Dude.
本产品会让你在累垮的时候
"Get amped and ripped as
重新沉醉 热血沸腾 带给你前所未有的快♥感♥
you max out those reps like never before."
卧♥槽♥ 什么鬼
Jesus, fuck.
好 让我们来说说 汤姆 佩恩 这个人
Okay, Thom Payne.
举手表决 你们有多少人觉得汤姆这人很可爱
By show of hands, how many of you find Thom likable?
没有人觉得汤姆很可爱吗
Does anybody here find Thom likable?
没人吗 真有趣
Nobody? Interesting.
你们又有多少人想以后成为汤姆那样的人
How many of you would like to be like Thom someday?
- 卧♥槽♥ 才不要 - 听着 那我这样问你们好了
- Hell, no. - Hey, let me ask you this.
你们有多少人觉得汤姆这人还不如干脆自刎离世得了
How many of you think Thom should just kill himself?
- 双手双脚赞成 - 为什么
- That's a yes. - Why?
就因为我没有和这个傻♥逼♥一样酷炫的头型
Because I don't look like this shithead?
我可不想长成那样
I'm not supposed to look like that.
我有一份工作 一个老婆 一个孩子
I have a job, a wife, and a child.
而你们知道这个无所事事的傻♥逼♥
Do you know how much time
每天浪费在打扮上的时间是多少吗
this ridiculous asshole spends to look like that?
每天都他妈的好几个小时
Hours every fucking day.
这人是有多自我怨恨才练就这一身搓衣板般的腹肌
Do you know how much
你们敢想么
self-loathing it requires to have washboard abs?
是得多讨厌自己才对自己那般蹂躏啊
How much you've got to hate yourself to work that fucking hard?
腹肌不能表现出你有多健康
Abs don't tell the world you're healthy.
只能告诉这个世界
They tell the world you're
你虐待自己到离自杀不远了
one twinkie away from killing yourself.
他说的是真的 我的确自我厌恶
It's true. I hate myself.
我一直在追寻一个不可能实现的完美体能标准
I pursue an impossible standard of physical perfection
只为了让自己看起来更值得被爱
in the hope it will make me worthy of love.
- 感谢你的发言 - 我反对
- Thank you. - Again with the projection.
贱♥人♥就是矫情呦
Bitch projects like a motherfucker, yo.
别激动 汤姆 加缪曾说过
Chill out, Thom. Camus said Sisyphus
科林斯王为自己荒谬作品的存在而感到幸福 不是吗
was happy in his absurd existence, a'ight?
加缪通常说的都是生活中最荒谬又急需反抗的部分
Camus also said that the ridiculousness of life
而不是自杀
requires revolt, not suicide.
那好 举手表决
Okay, show of hands,
有多少人觉得汤姆能够反抗成功
how many of you think Thom is capable of revolt?
着实有趣
Interesting.
嗯 真有趣 回家操♥你♥妈♥去吧
Mmm, interesting. Go fuck yourselves.
乳♥头♥真不错 混♥蛋♥
Nice tits, asshole.
嘿 亲爱的 是我 快四点了
Hey, honey, it's me. It's about 4:00.
听着 别为此担忧 朱尔斯会好起来的
Listen, don't worry about it. Jules is gonna be fine.
爸爸们一直都很怀念一起吃晚餐的时光
Fathers miss dinner all the time.
为什么你不直接去
So why don't you just get in there,
告诉那些瑞典人你有多爱宜家
tell those Swedes how much you love IKEA
羽绒被套
and douchen-baggen duvet covers
和独♥立♥贝尔根贝尔森灯具
and freestanding bergen-belsen lamps,
然后我们就能在精神病院看见你了不是吗
and we'll meet you at the Funny Farm, okay?
爱你么么哒
I love you.
非常感谢在场各位的到来
Thank you. Thank you.
现在 我们要做的第一件事就是检查一下所有的账目
Now, what we have to do first is take a look at all the accounts
然后商量一下我们可以在哪里改善
and say where can we be doing the better work?
不是吗 商机到底在哪
Yeah? Where are the opportunities
为了破坏吗
for disruption?
还是瓦解
For misruption?
如今的商业是以创新为基础的
Business today travels at the speed of ideas.
你可以不喜欢这点 但你不能无视它
And you don't have to like it, but you can't ignore it.
首先我们有的黑和白
First we had the black and white, yeah?
其次才有各种颜色
Then came color.
在色彩丰富了之后应该是什么了呢
What comes after color?
你们告诉我们
You tell us.
史蒂夫 乔布斯会用他的军队账户做什么