游侠笑传（2015）

put you against your best friend.
人艰不拆啊 干了
Times are tough. Drink up.
-来 我们玩个游戏 -嗯
- Here, let's... let's play a game. - Hmm?
假设有一个在位的国王
Let's just say there's this standing king.
他邪恶狡诈的哥哥
And his evil, treacherous brother
来到了镇上
comes into town,
而我们想要“解决”一下他
and we wanted to sort of "Take care" Of him.
说不好 比如 就是今晚
I don't know, like, say, tonight.
你觉得有人会在乎么
Do you think anyone would care?
我没听懂
I don't follow.
杀了你哥
Kill your brother.
什么
What?!
你彻底疯了么
Have you gone absolutely mad?
你指望我能怎么做
What do you expect me to do,
就偷偷溜进金斯利的卧室
just sneak into Kingsley's bedchamber
趁他睡着的时候割了他的喉咙么
and slice his throat while he sleeps?
什么 就穿这一身么
What, in this outfit?!
是的
Yes.
大家听着 我要去杀我哥哥了
Everyone, I'm going to kill my brother!
今晚酒我请
Drinks are on me!
对了 给爷满上
Right. Fill her up.
我们开始吧
There we go.
#哦# #哦#
# Oh... # # oh... #
#我们将实施一场秘密行动#
# We're off on a secret mission #
#带着我们的秘密计划#
# We've got us a secret plan #
#我们一鼓作气 弑杀尔兄#
# We're going to go and slay your bro #
#静悄悄 在这静幽幽的晚上#
# As quietly as we can #
#我们灰溜溜的靠近 吓他个破滚尿流#
# We'll sneak up and then surprise him #
#不由分说 猝不及防#
# Before he has time to think #
#我们已经逃之夭夭#
# We're off and away #
#但是走之前 再干一杯#
# But first, another drink #
#哒哒 哒哒 哒哒#
# Da-Da, Da-Da, Da, Da #
#我们实施着秘密行动#
# We're off on a secret mission #
#绝对机密的诡计#
# A totally secret scheme #
#暗自弑杀你的血亲#
# We'll slyly do in your next of kin #
#于噤若寒蝉中嘶声尖鸣#
# And quietly make him scream #
#我们多快又隐秘#
# We've got to be swift and stealthy #
#万籁俱寂之中又惊又奇#
# So none will raise a stink #
#我们这就要出发 但走之前 再来一瓶#
# We're off on our way, but first, another drink #
#哒哒 哒哒 哒哒#
# Da-Da, Da-Da, Da, Da #
#隐秘 隐秘 静悄悄#
# A secret, secret, hush, hush, hush #
#隐秘 隐秘#
# Secret, secret #
#哦 出发去秘密行动#
# Oh, we're off on a secret mission #
#这算是我们的小小秘密#
# It's some kind of secret plot #
#一声令下全速出击# #耶#
# We're gonna go # # yeah #
#然后的然后# #必须的必#
# And then... # # exactly #
#我们来干嘛的# #忘没影儿了#
# Who are we? # # I forgot #
#噢 噢 我们将要弑杀#
# Ooh, ooh, we're gonna go kill the... #
#某个人# #我哥哥#
# Someone # # my brother! #
#那鼠辈# #那叫花子#
# The rat # # the fink! #
嘘 小点儿声
Shh! Lower your voice!
嘿 为什么玛达莲娜房♥间前面
Hey, w-what are all these dudes doing
这么多侍卫
in front of Madalena's room for?
是啊 怎么回事 派对么
Yeah, what is it? A party?
王后正在挑选新配偶
T-the queen's interviewing new consorts.
下一个
Next!
我的天哪 这个没良心的
Oh, God. She's the worst.
嘿 知道么
Hey, you know what?
王后殿下最自豪她那双脚
The queen is really proud of her feet.
嗯 是啊 是啊
Mm. Yeah, yeah.
叫她把袜子脱下来
Ask her to take her socks off.
请求亲吻她的脚
Ask to kiss her feet.
这是国王的命令
That's an order from your king.
#哦#
# Oh... #
#秘密 秘密#
# Secret, secret #
#第三十首诗 依旧美如初#
# 30th verse, same as the first #
哇 这底下音效很不错哦
Whoa. There's some serious acoustics down here.
嘿 大家好
Hey, everybody!
哇 看看我来点儿这个
Whoa. It looks like someone couldn't do anything
某人就动弹不了啦
if I went like this!
住手 很痒的
Stop it! I'm ticklish!
嗨 大美妞伊兹
Hi, pretty Izzy.
哦 你真是太美了
Oh, you're so pretty.
不仅是脸蛋美 心灵也美
But not just face, your brain.
心里的美闪闪洋溢在你漂亮的脸蛋上
It's like your beautiful brain exploded all over your face.
你喝多了吗
Are you drunk?
丈母娘
Mommy.
嘿 真开心伊莎贝拉被养得这么好
Hey, I'm so excited about Isabella getting older.
把她养成如花似玉的美娇娘
Way to keep it high and tight.
快看 那有个红色的小不点儿
Oh, look, it's the little stickman in the red.
-你好啊 -他还记得你
- Hello. - He remembered you!
刚刚我真该吻你
I should have just kissed you.
我早就应该吻吻你
I should have kissed you ages ago.
也许我们应该明天再来讨论这个话题
Yeah, well, um, maybe we should talk about this tomorrow.
慢走 不送
Okay, bye-bye.
好的 明天再说 还有亲亲哦
Yes, and we will, and we're gonna kiss,
要那种永恒之吻
and it's gonna be one of those forever sort of kisses.
告诉她 席德 我不是老早就这么说过么
Tell her, Sid. Didn't I say that earlier?
我坐在里面的时候 我就说过了 是不是
When I sat down over there, I said it, didn't I?
印象深刻啊 先生
Burned into my brain, sir.
听到了吧
You see?
我亲
Boop!
好了 我得去灭了一个国王
Okay, I've got to go kill a king.
求你啦 陛下 快停手
I beg of you, sire, stop it!
再见啦 亲们
Bye, everybody!
谢谢 谢谢
Thank you, thank you!
真好玩 你也试试嘛
It was fun! You try it!
#喔#
# Oh... #
#我们有个秘任务#
# We're off on a secret mission #
#杀掉我哥不含糊#
# To finally kill my sib #
#成功潜入他的屋#
# And now that we're in his bedroom #
嘿 干这事儿之前
Hey, before we do this thing,
我想谢谢你今晚陪我
I just want to say thanks for tonight.
我憋了太久很开心出去玩
I really needed to get out.
问题来了
Just focus!
你是想砍在脑袋上
You want to kill him in the head,
还是想砍在脖子上
or do you want to kill him in the neck?
好吧 动手
Right. Here we go.
嘿 答应我 今晚我和你说的事儿
Hey! Oh, and promise me you're not gonna say anything
一个字都不许跟别人说
to anyone about that thing I said.
-啥事嘛 - 我还是童男子
- What thing? - About me being a virgin.
演出到此为止吧
I think we've heard enough.
-哦 不 -哦
- Oh, no. - Oh!
我亲爱的 小小的 没用的 从没碰过女人和鲜血的 弟弟
My dear, little, dinky brother, untouched by war and women.
我 我刚说的是处♥女♥杀手
I mean, what I meant was virgin slayer.
你个
You're .
把这美男子扔进地牢
Throw lover boy in a dungeon.
你真卑鄙
So mean.
哦 你也不再需要这个了
Oh, and you won't be needing this.
我的王冠
My crown!
他居然偷了我的王冠
He stole my crown.
抬起头 别流泪 坏人会笑
Keep your chin up. Don't let them see you cry.
别让坏人看到你流泪
Never let them see you cry.
加雷斯 我视你如我的女人
Gareth, I assume you like women.
如果你愿为我效力 我会赐给你土地 爵位
If you fight for me, I will give you land, a title,
外加美女三千
and as many women as you desire.
你爱哪类女人
What's your type?
要么极胖 要么极瘦
Either really fat or really skinny,
太普通的就算了
nothing in between.
我会给你胖妹和排骨妹
I'll give you fat and skinny.
我会回来找你的