游侠笑传（2015）

You mean because you betrayed me, you thought they would hang me?
就因为你的背叛
Because you betrayed me?
噢 相信我 先生
Oh, trust me, sir,
我他妈就是因为她才会进这儿的
I have been guilting the crap out of her down here.
理查德国王说如果我不能把珠宝和你送来
King Richard said if I didn't deliver the jewel and you,
他就会杀了我的父母
he would kill my parents.
我试过警告你
I tried to warn you...
那么多歌♥曲 那么多私语
so many songs, so many asides.
重点是 玛达莲娜王后
The point is, Queen Madalena,
你已经得到了珠宝 你也得到了伽尔凡特
you have the jewel and you have Galavant.
-你必须放了我的父母了 -是么
- You must release my parents. - Must I?
-是的 你不得不放 -是么
- Yes. You have to. - Have I?
-是的 -真的么
- Yes. - Really?
你为什么重复反问我说的每句话
Why are you just repeating everything I say as a question?
我是重复反问你说的每句话吗
Am I just repeating everything you say as a question?
你 听不见么
You... Don't hear it?
-我听见了 是的 - 是呀
-I hear it. Yeah. - Yeah.
-你的确是有在重复
- You're sort of doing it a little bit.
我和理查德国王有个交易
- I had a deal with King Richard.
我亲爱的姑娘
My dear girl...
我虽不是理查德国王
I am not King Richard.
但我就喜欢杀
But I will enjoy killing the
吃我残羹冷炙的女孩
girl who tried to eat my leftover man mutton.
有木有热觉得很不舒服
Is... Anyone else uncomfortable?
加雷斯
Gareth.
割下她的脸
Cut her face.
折磨剩余的人
Torture the rest.
-伽尔 -什么
- Gala... - Excuse me?
我说折磨他们 有问题吗
I said torture them. Is there a problem?
不 一点儿问题也没有
No. There's not a problem.
我喜欢折磨人 我很擅长咧
I like torturing. I'm pretty good at it.
我曾经让一个只剩一个头和一根手指的
I once kept a guy alive for a week,
家伙活了一个礼拜呢
and he was just a head and a finger.
但那是国王下的令
But that order came from the king,
我为国王效劳
and I serve My King.
你的国王很虚弱 加雷斯 你知道的
Your king is weak, Gareth. You know this.
他哭得像个婴儿 心软得像个娘们
He cries like a baby, he cares like a woman.
他还喜欢制♥作♥剪纸小板凳呢
He makes decoupage footstools as a hobby.
嗨 那是我的生日礼物
Hey! That was a birthday present.
他送给我的 让我好让我能坐下
He got me that so I could have a sit down.
你就是一条狗 加雷斯
You're a dog, Gareth.
狗需要一个强大的主人
And a dog needs a strong master.
干掉他们
Now sic'em.
我们到了 先生
Here we are, sir.
我们安全吗
Are we safe?
这里的人看起来有那么一丢丢狡猾
This neighborhood looks a little dodgy.
别担心 陛下 我们没事哒
Don't worry, sire, we'll be fine.
只要 试着不要害怕
Just... Try not to look scared.
你好啊 见到你很高兴
Hello. Nice to see you.
你们要干啥
What do you want?
嗯 我们到这来找赞安诺
Uh, we're here to see Xanax.
他在阁楼上
He's in the attic.
妈妈 那是实验室
Mom! It's a laboratory!
你叫它实验室嘛
Call it a laboratory.
它就是个阁楼
It's an attic.
呼 真的超温馨哒
Hmm. This is... Cozy.
理查德国王 请允许我介绍魔法师赞安诺
King Richard, may I present Xanax The Magician.
实际上 我这魔法师的称呼
Actually, I'm not legally allowed
还没得到业界许可
to call myself a magician anymore
就因为 那件事
'cause of the whole... Thing.
别担心
Don't worry.
把我看做是精神向导
Think of me as a spiritual guide.
我允许我这样自称的
I'm allowed to... Call myself that.
谁都可以 也没什么意义
Anyone can. It's meaningless.
你看他金光闪闪的小发箍 蛤♥蟆♥
Look at his shiny little hat, toad.
瑞比特
Ribbit.
那个人是谁
Who's that person?
他是蛤♥蟆♥ 他很酷
It's toad. He's cool.
瑞比特
Ribbit.
别问
Don't ask.
他是个蟾蜍
He was a toad.
我施了一个咒
I did a spell...
把他变成了类人的东西
turned him into a human-ish... Type thing.
那么 是的 我把它变了
So, uh, yeah. I flipped it.
很棒的呀
That's very good.
好吧 我能为你们做些什么
Anyway, what can I do for you gents?
嗯 不是什么大事 真的
Well, it's... No big deal, really.
我们只是 在附近
We were just... in the neighborhood,
嗯 我只是纳闷
and, um, I was sort of wondering,
你懂得 为什么我长成了酱紫
you know, why I am the way I am,
他说过你可以帮我
and he mentioned you might be able to help me.
赞安诺什么忙都能帮
Xanax can help anything.
好极了
Wonderful.
喝了点儿风
Bit of wind there.
哦
Ooh.
好的 我们开始吧
Right. Let's get you started.
这就是 那种令人作呕的小作坊 不是吗
This is a... Kind of disgusting little workstation, isn't it?
你看那个卫生间 它是个窗户
You see the toilet? It's basically a window.
是 我说的窗户 是指墙上的洞
And by "Window," I mean "Hole"... in the wall.
它管用的
It works.
最起码其中一个管用
One of them.
哦 蛤♥蟆♥发现了它 你会喜欢的 不是吗
Oh. Toad spotted it. You'd love that, wouldn't you?
把这个放进去
That goes in.
好的 再这样
Ready. Let's do this.
哦哦哦哦哦哦哦哦哦
Oooooooooooh.
现在 念咒语
Now the magic words.
阿布阿卡达布拉
Abracadabra.
阿♥拉♥卡砸姆
Alakazam.
哈布拉咋达布拉 福利拉你马哈姆
Habrazamdabra, flanimal ham.
哦哦哦哦哦
Oooooh.
现在试试这个 它有魔力的
Try that now. It's all magic.
-那 我只要 把那个喝下去吗 -是的
- So, I just... Drink that down, eh? - Yeah.
-直接从食道咽下去吗 -是的
- Straight down the gullet? - Yeah.
-哦 很刺♥激♥ -是的 里面有肛♥门♥
- Ooh. That is pungent. - Yeah. That's the anus.
哦 不管啦
Oh, what the hell.
哦 上帝
Oh, God.
嗯
Mm.
呼
Hmm.
只需一会儿就效果强烈
Takes a little while to kick in with a strong-willed...
-我能感觉到它 -是的
- I'm feeling it. - Yeah.
哦 喔
Oh, wow.
好的 老大 我们需要一个逃跑方案
All right, boss, we need an escape plan.
-你在想什么 -伽尔凡特 我是这么想的
- What are you thinking? - Galavant: Here's what I think.
如果你真的打破这牢笼
If you really break it down...
“我像爱任何人一样爱你”
"I love you as much as someone like me could love anyone"
可以有很多含义
can mean a lot of things.
哦 不是吧 伙计
Oh, come on, man.
哦 放手吧
Oh, just let it go!
她不配的
She's the worst!
-她囚禁了我们 -她偷走了我们的珠宝
- She imprisoned us. - She stole our jewels.
-是的 不喜欢 -你想知道我想什么吗
- Yeah, not a fan. - You want to know what I think?
我想 你在一个地牢里
I think you're in a dungeon
想知道那个关你的女人是否爱你
wondering if the woman that put you there loves you.
真正的问题是 你为什么还爱她
And the real question is, why do you still love her?
我的意思 的确 她很美
I mean, yes, she's beautiful,
完美的皮肤 完美的身体 完美的头发
in a perfect-skin, perfect-body, perfect-hair kind of way,
如果你好这口的话
if you're into that sort of thing.
嗯
Mm.
我了解你的 伽尔凡特
I know you, Galavant.
我懂你的心 你值得更好的人
I know your heart, and you deserve better.
你值得一个能提升你 让你变得像个男人的人