游侠笑传（2015）

粉碎那些穷♥人♥
Crush those poor!
从此不再听到 伽尔凡特是完人
No more "Galavant is just complete perfection!
伽尔从不会
"Gal would never lose his...
发脾气
...temper"
难道那不圣洁无上吗
Won't that be divine?
啊
Ahh
她将属于我
And she'll be mine
啦啦啦啦
Ia la la la
只属于我 全部属于我
Just mine, all mine
啦啦啦啦
Ia la la la
我的 都是我的 全都是我的
Mine, all mine, all mine!
那真是极好的
Well, that was ripping!
的确都让人激动不已 我的陛下
This is all very exciting, My King,
但是伽尔凡特还活着
but Galavant still lives.
他依旧是附近五个王国中最勇猛的战士
And he is still the greatest warrior in five kingdoms.
好吧 如果我赢不了她的芳心 那我就买♥♥过来
Fine. If I can't win her love, I'll buy it.
把巴伦西亚的国王和王后带上来
Bring me the king and queen of Valencia.
我一定要找到那个该死的宝石
I'll find her that stupid jewel.
橘子 你想我再说一遍 香蕉 嘛
"'Orange' you glad I didn't say 'banana' again?"
一点都不搞笑 先生
Not funny at all, sir.
汤米
Tommy.
汤米 汤米
Tommy. Tommy!
我的杯子上突然有个好大的洞
There appears to be a rather large hole in my bucket,
我希望你补好它
and I would very much like you to fix it.
对不起 伽尔 我必须断你的酒水了
Sorry, Gal. I'm gonna have to cut you off.
汤米 别这样 是我耶
Tommy, come on. It's me.
我是伽尔
It's Gal.
嘿 伽尔 别这样 你这是在让自己难堪
Hey, Gal. Come on. You're embarrassing yourself.
我在让你难堪
I'm embarrassing yourself.
能否请你喝一杯
Can I buy you a drink?
不要
No!
很好 那你请我喝
Good. You can buy me one.
现在 我们说到哪儿了
Now, where were we?
两个月前 你藏在地窖里
Two months ago, you were imprisoned in a cellar.
然后发生了什么
Then what happened?
啊 你们到啦
Ah, here we are.
请站到老位置上 太感谢啦
Regular spots, please. Thank you very much.
我相信你们知道该站在哪
I believe you know where to stand.
来 我就问一个问题 我一直尽力善待你们
Now, let me ask you one question. I've tried to be kind to you.
对吧
Have I not?
你洗劫了我们安宁的国家 屠戮了我们半数的军队
You pillaged our peaceful kingdom, killed half our army.
但是我没有杀了你
But I haven't killed you.
我是说 你好好想想
I mean, think about it.
这星期我杀了成千上万的人
I've killed a massive amount of people this week,
但是我没有杀 杀
but I haven't killed... kil...
加雷斯 我嗓子快冒烟了
Gareth, I have a horribly scratchy throat.
来杯茶 行不
A bit of tea, please.
给国王上茶
Tea for the king!
我又不是传令官
I'm not really a yeller.
自从上回侵入以后我就一直有这个毛病
I've been fighting a bug since the invasion.
-我发誓 这肯定是瘟疫 -才不是瘟疫
-I swear, it's the plague. -It's not the plague.
- 摸下这 是不是有个肿块 -没有
- Feel it, though... does that feel lumpy? - No.
你摸都没摸下
You didn't even feel it.
我们请求您放过我们的子民
We beg you to show mercy to our people,
-仁慈的理查德大帝 -我已经够仁慈了
-good King Richard. -We've done this.
听着 事情是这样的
Look, here's the thing.
我老婆看中了你们的宝石
My wife really wants that jewel of yours.
然后 我知道 有时候 她有点 呃
Now, I know, at times, she can come off as a bit, um...
什么词来形容呢
What's the word?
-罪恶 -残忍♥
-Evil. -Cruel.
不 不是这个词 接近了
No, that's not it. It's more...
-虐待狂 -狠毒
-Sadistic. -Vicious.
我觉得吧 你们真应该多和她亲近下去了解她
You know, I think you really just have to get to know her.
她真是个 哔
She can be a
- 给我闭上嘴 加雷斯 -好吧
- Would you stop it, Gareth?! - All right.
这样怎么样
How's about this?
你们告诉我宝石在哪里
You tell me where the jewelry is,
我们就可以欢喜大结局啦
we'll pack up shop.
我会放过你们全国上下
We'll stop the pillaging and the killing,
然后吧啦吧啦 你好我好大家好
yada, yada, and everyone's happy.
巴伦西亚的珠宝可是无价之宝啊
The Jewel of Valencia is priceless.
我造的 我造
I know. I know.
那是巴伦西亚的象征 它不属于我们
It is a symbol of Valencia. It has belonged not to us,
而是属于千百年来跟着我们的臣民
but to our people for thousands of years.
完全理解 深表同情
Totally understand. Totally empathize.
-我能拿到它了吗 -不可能
-Can I have it? -Never!
这可是你们逼着我做的
This is so not how I wanted to do this!
马上这里会被卷入愤怒的漩涡
It is about to get very messy in here.
哦 茶来啦 非常感谢
Ooh, my tea! Thank you very much.
嗯
Mm.
里面加了柠檬吗
Is there lemon in there?
是的 我的王
Yes... My King?
加了点没榨过的柠檬
Some unsqueezed lemons.
不错 味道很讨喜 我喜欢
Well, it's delightful. Just delightful.
杀了那男的 让女的看着
Kill the king, make her watch.
不
No!
嗯
Mmm.
嗯
Mmm.
席德 给我来一杯
Sid, fetch me a drink.
他让我去点一杯酒 我真爱这个时刻
When he tells me to fetch, those are my favorite moments.
再次感谢你请我喝了杯酒
Thanks again for the drink.
是好多杯酒
Drinks.
对啊 多谢你
Right. Thanks again.
我父亲以前常常提起你的故事
My father used to tell stories of you,
-说你在战场上的勇猛 -嗯 嗯
-of your skill in battle... -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
你是个英雄 你善良无比
Your heroism, of your goodness.
后来你遭遇了什么
What happened to you?
看看你现在的样子
I mean... eh.
哦 说说嘛 我大老远的跑来
Oh, come on. I've come a long way.
没功劳也有苦劳 来讲讲你的故事吧
Surely I deserve some kind of backstory.
好吧
All right.
我父母是有着很多很多私心杂欲的人
My parents were people of massive, massive appetites.
他们喜欢一切 他们喜爱好吃的 好喝的
They loved everything... they loved food. They loved drink.
但他们最爱的 是彼此
But most of all, they loved each other.
讽刺的是 他们常常讨厌对方
Ironically, they also hated each other.
他们每天都大打出手
And they fought violently every day.
结果呢 他们没时间顾别的事儿
Didn't have time for much else, in fact.
所以 我八岁的时候 发誓再也不相信爱
So... at the age of 8, I swore off love.
去寻找那些让我的生命变得更美好的事物
Devoted myself to doing something better with my life
而不是把生命浪费在爱上
than wasting it on love.
所以我读书 训练 学习语言
So I read, I trained, I learned languages.
其他年轻小伙追女生的时候
All the time other young men spent chasing girls,
我却在让自己更好
I spent that time bettering myself.
但是我出身于一个有着爱的传统的家庭
But I come from a long family of lovers.
后天也敌不过基因
You can't fight genetics.
所以当爱情终将到来的时候
So when it inevitably happened...
-我还是坠入 -你坠入了爱的深渊
-When I fell... -You fell hard.
我坠入了深渊
I fell hard.
她呢
And her?
她跌得轻些
She fell softer...
就结果看来
As it turns out.
听着 我愿意帮你 真的 我愿意
Look, I'd love to help. Really, I would.
但是我
But I'm...
我有点像个受困的少女
I'm sort of out of the whole "Damsel in distress" Business
就现在来说 所以
at the moment, so...
我在密道里听见他说 要杀了我的父母
I listened from below as he ordered my parents to their death.
结果我大老远跑来你说来说去
And after coming all this way,
就告诉我装作没看见
your advice is for me to just turn a blind eye
眼睁睁让理查德国王毁了我的王国
and watch king Richard destroy my kingdom
杀掉我深爱的子民
and everyone I've ever loved?